CHAPTER 7
-:- Fools Rush in Where Angels Fear to Tread -:-
2006 -:- Past Memories
My departure from Baltimore was a bit delayed. I waited around with Esme and Carlisle at the hotel, or I should say motel, that Renee and Phil had been staying at. Carlisle had decided to get a room so he and Esme could continue to conduct business privately while they waited for Jasper and Alice. The accommodations were extremely modest and poorly decorated with a leftover seventies décor. Browns and golds filled the patterns on the walls and the bedspread was riddled with cream and canned-pea-green swirls. And the room smelled awful, of mildew and stale-cigarette smoke. Esme definitely looked out of place carefully perched on the edge of the bed in her impeccably tailored jacket and red wrap-around dress. Sitting down next to her, I reached for her hand, trying to ease her mind from the rampant thoughts of everything that still needed to get done.
"Not the best place to wait around in, I'm not really enjoying the idea that Bella stayed here for so long. What were Phil and Renee thinking? She would have been better off in Forks," I said casually trying to make conversation while we waited for Carlisle to finish up some business before he contacted the Volturi. I needed to hear firsthand what the Volturi would plan to do before I left for Phoenix.
She smiled warmly. "I'm sure they were just doing their best. It couldn't have been easy for them, I imagine."
I nodded, unsure of what else to say. "I'm sorry for leaving you here. I–I …"
"Edward, you will find her. All my faith rests in that. The two of you are meant to be together. You came alive when you met her. You lived … and you will again." The smile reached her eyes as she placed her hand against my cheek, and I leaned into it closing my eyes.
"I hope so, Esme. I hope so." I sighed.
"I know so."
.
THE VOLTURI'S REACTIONS DIDN'T surprise me when Carlisle made the call to Aro. It was as we thought; the Volturi mocked him and his 'silly worries' over the humans. Marcus called it 'utter nonsense,' while Caius wondered why he should 'possibly care what the humans did with themselves.' Hearing the conviction in Carlisle's voice, Aro eventually considered what he had to say, but he carefully weighed his options before speaking on the matter.
"I would like you to bring the little one here. I would like to see her in person," Aro mused.
"Absolutely out of the question, Aro. Alice isn't going anywhere, or anyone in my family for that matter," Carlisle spoke boldly.
"Well, perhaps you would rather we send the guard to you then? You know that can be arranged, my dear friend." There was no friendliness in Aro's voice. "Jane and Alec have been getting a little restless. A trip might do them some good."
"Listen to me, there isn't time. I'm only extending this courtesy to you because I was unsure how you would want me to proceed in warning the humans."
"You will do no such thing," Caius spoke with disdain.
"Then again, brother, it might be delightful to watch the humans panic over the end of their world. Everything has been so mundane as of late. Think of it as sport." I could hear the brothers cackle at Marcus' words.
"Carlisle, we will take your words under consideration. You will be available for our call once we have made our final decision."
"It's going to happen. I have no doubt that it will. I believe in Alice, Aro."
"Yes. I believe you do. Regardless, I am not sure this is any of our concern."
"How can you say that? It's everyone's concern. You have a responsibility—"
Caius interjected. "Don't presume to tell us what we have to do, Carlisle. Or are you forgetting what the Volturi stand for. We protect our kind first and foremost. The humans are lambs to the slaughter. They mean nothing to us other than our next meal. We do not share your sentiments."
Carlisle began to argue with Marcus and Caius, their voices raised in anger, while Carlisle's in desperation. Aro put a stop to it before it went any further.
"Enough! Brothers, let us speak with our sources. We will discover where this threat you are convinced of is coming from. If anything, I suppose we must protect our food source. I couldn't possibly imagine living a lifestyle as you have chosen, my friend." Aro laughed wickedly.
Esme and I sat waiting for Carlisle as he discussed the details with Aro. Carlisle's frustrations were clearly evident when he hung up the phone. It seemed our family was to 'sit tight' until we heard from the Volturi. I was quite happy with the outcome, even though I knew it was not the outcome Carlisle was hoping for. I was given a reprieve for the moment, and hopefully enough time to get to Bella. As soon as Carlisle had ended the call, my phone started to ring. Jasper.
"Where's Carlisle? What's he done?" he asked in panic.
"What do you mean? He's right here."
"It's Alice, she just keeps saying, 'What has he done? What has he done?' over and over again. Just like before, but it's worse now, much worse. She's clutching her head, and the pain that she's feeling is even crippling me."
"He just got off the phone with the Volturi. He spoke with Aro about Alice's visions." Carlisle and Esme were looking at me with utter confusion, which I was sure was no different than the expression on my face. "What does she mean?" Jasper moved his mouth from the phone and I could hear him consoling Alice.
"Alice, baby, he's fine. They're all fine. You have to tell me what you mean."
"What has he done? It's changed. What has he done?"
I could hear Alice's frenzied whispers as Jasper came back to the phone. "I don't know what to make of it. Edward, she needs you. You need to be here to know what she's thinking."
My stomach clenched. How could he ask this of me? I cursed silently for this unexpected turn of events. I was torn. Alice needed me. I needed Bella. Oh, for the love of all that was holy, would the catastrophes never end? Was there anything else that could go wrong? I knew the answer to that, this was me and Bella I was talking about, of course it could.
"Please, Edward," he cried desperately.
"How far away are you from us?"
"Five-six hours? The Humvee doesn't go as fast as what we're used to, plus it draws a lot of attention."
"Alright, we're coming to you. We'll meet you along the way." I cursed to the heavens for making me choose. I couldn't send Carlisle and Esme to Phoenix, I needed to be there as well. Carlisle would never be able to persuade the lawyer or real estate agent for information on the Dwyers. My talent was needed to get the information, but how could I possibly abandon Alice? It was simple, I couldn't. For the moment, Alice was more important for all of our sake's. If it was something to do with the inevitable D-Day that was approaching, then that was the priority. And it was Alice. I owed her.
We were to meet Jasper and Alice just inside of the New York state line on the New Jersey border. Esme had called Rosalie and Emmett to let them know what was happening, they were just finishing up in Michigan and were moving on to Nebraska.
The car ride was silent for the most part. It was mid-morning as we skirted around New York City, racing toward the state line. The sun was sporadically shining through the clouds and luckily the roads were clear on this crisp March day. My family's thoughts were all over the place. Esme was worried for Rosalie and Emmett. She didn't like that they were so far away from us. Carlisle was triple checking the hospitals that had nuclear fallout plans. He wanted to know which centers were equipped and capable of handling the effects and he was secretly shipping more supplies to each of them, hoping the hospitals would just accept the shipments and sort out the paperwork later once they realized it was something that wasn't on their docket.
Esme and Carlisle continued their ministrations of gathering supplies, and I heavily weighed the sacrifice I was making. My mind battled with my heart. I was trying to convince myself that this wasn't a sacrifice, this was Alice. But my heart told me I was losing my window to get to Bella in time. If Charlie would just answer my calls.
"Carlisle, I'm going to need a place near Phoenix."
"Of course, Edward, it's already been taken care. Esme is making the final arrangements right now. We hadn't planned on Arizona, but we need to make sure. It's going to be close." Son, it will work out. It has to…
"Yes, it does." I looked at him in the rear view mirror, our eyes met. Mine filled with resolve and he knew it, as his filled with sorrow. In my heart, I knew what I would do if I didn't get to Bella in time, and Carlisle knew as well, even if he wouldn't admit it to himself.
Parked at a picnic area in Harriman State park, just over the state line of New York, we arrived only minutes before Jasper. It was too cold for anyone to bother us; we would be fine sitting here amongst the trees even though the sunshine was trickling through the barren leafless trees. Snow was still scattered in patches on the ground and it was such a beautiful crisp day by human standards, it was hard to believe we were in this predicament. That soon, this park would be gone, enveloped in a cloud of radioactive dust. It was unfathomable to even imagine.
Jasper tenderly lifted Alice out of the vehicle while we made our way over to them, she looked so incredibly tiny, frail. His thoughts were completely consumed of her welfare. Immediately, as I focused on Alice, my mind was awash with image after image of cities engulfed in flame and I stumbled, reaching to steady myself with the vehicle.
"Jasper, can you help her?" I asked, as I lifted my hands to my temples. "I need you to ease her, project anything, anything to take away the pain."
"I already am, and it's taking everything from me, now with you as well, t's j-just. Just too…"
Carlisle moved to take Alice from his arms while we made our way toward one of the random picnic tables.
"No. It's better if I'm touching her."
I finally looked at Jasper, really looked, and to my astonishment his face was just as drawn as Alice's. This had clearly taken a toll on his body as well. The two of them must have had some go of it in the last twenty-four hours. My guilt increased ten-fold.
"Don't," he said to me. "I can't handle that as well." He sat with her in his arms on the edge of the picnic table, and I could hear her whispers as she rocked back and forth.
"It's done. It's done. It's done."
Esme rushed to her side and swept her hair from her forehead. "What's done, sweetheart? Please, tell us." Oh, God, why is this happening? Help her, please, anything.
"Esme, you need to change those emotions of yours. You'll cripple us all," Jasper spoke resolutely. "I know you're worried, but it's not helping. I can't battle it all."
"Of course." She stood, gathering up all of her courage and lovingly touched Jasper's cheek.
"That's better." He smiled warmly, before turning to me. Edward? What's happening with her?
"I don't know. It's just image after image. The same thing; dozens and dozens of cities exploding, people screaming, burning. I mean before, it was random images, but I'm seeing actual cities now and people's faces. It was never this detailed before. Something has changed. A decision has been made that hadn't been."
"Can you pinpoint a time?" Carlisle asked.
I tried to concentrate on any one of the images that were flooding my head. I needed to find something distinguishable, something tangible. Big Ben … the clock tower … sunlight … day time. The little hand was on the one, the big hand was between the four and five.
"Around one-twenty in the afternoon. London."
"That's good, a time. We're getting closer. Anything else?"
"There's a demonstration. A large crowd, looks like Eastern Europe. Lots of flags, red with a white stripe. I can't be sure. But there are people in the streets everywhere and some of them are uniformed, agh!"
I sat down hard, resting my head in my hands. It was too much, and now I understood why Alice had completely shut down. I had been with her for less than fifteen minutes and I didn't know how much more I could take. I had seen some pretty gruesome things in my life, but watching people from all walks of life incinerated before my eyes was not something I was prepared to watch over and over again. I felt Jasper's touch on my shoulder and immediately felt the effects of his gift.
I wish I could help more.
I smiled grimly, grabbing his hand giving it a small squeeze. I knew he was spent. He was doing everything that he could to help the one person that his entire world revolved around, and he still felt completely helpless, that it wasn't enough. I knew his pain.
Carlisle had gone to get the computer while Jasper held tight to Alice and myself. Esme was gently rubbing circles on Alice's back, and every now and then placing her hand on her cheek, gingerly tracing her thumb along her jaw line. I knew Carlisle would be searching for red flags with a white stripe and any kind of news that would involve large crowds, but that was almost hopeless. For one, it could have been anywhere, and it could have been any time. I concentrated once again as I heard Alice. I couldn't be sure if she had spoken aloud, it was so soft.
Edward. It was Carlisle's phone call.
I couldn't mistake that. I just didn't know what she meant. And then I saw him. I saw the face that had hung in Carlisle's study for all these years, I would recognize that translucently white skin and long black hair anywhere. It was Aro's face that was clear in my head, and he was not alone. Marcus and Caius and three other figures I couldn't place were with them.
"I believe the little one. I have heard of her talent, some say it's infallible. We've been privy to some of her exploits in the past, and they have been just short of wonderful."
"Oh, I doubt she's infallible!" Caius seethed.
"Well, I suppose, but it does warrant further exploration. I believe it's time we call in some favors from our contacts overseas." He smiled at the three figures heavily cloaked in black. "You know what must be done. I would like a full report by sunrise or there will be consequences. I don't care what time it is, you make those calls you speak to the right people."
"Yes, Master. It will be done." The three figures bowed and left the room.
"It vexes me to think my city could possibly be destroyed. I think we need to bring the little one here." Aro turned around and waved his hand toward the corner of the room. "Jane, dear one, please."
"Yes, Master." A small figure also cloaked in black, made her way toward the three ancients. I had only heard rumors of Jane and her talent, but all of those were definitely ones to be afraid of. She was vicious and cruel, never showing an ounce of pity or remorse when it came to her victims.
"How do you feel about a trip across the Atlantic with Felix and Demetri?"
"Edward." I felt a hand shaking me out of my trance. Carlisle was bent over face to face with me, a look of distress in his eyes. "Thank, God. We thought we'd lost you too."
"Jane is coming. With Felix and Demetri. I saw a clear vision of it in Alice's mind. She's aware, Jasper. She's in there and she's trying to help us."
Jasper's relief flooded my own.
"What else?"
I couldn't look at Carlisle. I didn't know how to tell him that it seemed as though his phone call had set in motion the events that were now inevitable.
Son, it was my phone call wasn't it? His eyes conveying complete comprehension and shock. I should have known.
I should have known better. On the drive here, his thoughts had been random enough but briefly strayed to the idea that Alice's words had been aimed toward him and his call, that somehow he was at fault. At the time, I didn't understand how that was possible, not until now. He knew me better than anyone and he could see right through me, so there was nothing I could do to hide this from him. I nodded my head slightly. He closed his eyes and pursed his lips, and his face was angst-ridden with guilt.
"You couldn't have known." I shook my head, my voice trying hard to convince him.
I should have listened to you. You knew it wasn't the right decision. What have I done? Carlisle's face was masked in pain. Esme looked between us knowing full well there was something Carlisle and I were keeping to ourselves.
"Whatever it is you two aren't sharing, we are all beyond protecting. Out with it," she said sternly, as she stood up from Alice's side. She was right, we couldn't have any secrets any more.
"It looks like the Volturi are going to investigate the truth behind Alice's vision. They are calling in favors from their contacts, which we can only assume that this is the catalyst. We should know more by sunrise, Italy time."
"My phone call sealed the fate of the world." Carlisle, defeated, turned his back from us and walked toward the edge of the tree line. I thought I was helping… His thoughts trailed off and Esme and Jasper looked to me for more answers, which, I had none. I could hear Esme's anxious thoughts, and just as I thought she was going to crumble as well, she surprised me.
"No. We don't know that," Esme said, quickly defending her husband. "This was all decided before. You are not responsible for this, Carlisle Cullen. And I will be damned if another member of this family takes on the burdens of so many others. We need you, so you can forget about feeling responsible for this. I won't let you." Esme's anger was shining through as she strode over and took hold of her husband. "You're a good man." I heard her whisper.
I wanted to let them have their moment, so I turned my attentions back to Alice. She had been relatively silent and was no longer murmuring anything. I focused on her mind, hoping to get a better understanding of exactly what the Volturi were going to do, seeing if we could get an idea of how much longer we had, or if there was a way to stop them.
The images were still much of the same, and again, I wondered how Alice wasn't worse than what she was. How was she holding up? Having a constant barrage of violence, destruction and death invading one's mind would be enough to drive anyone to madness. I reached my hand out and enveloped her tiny hand in mine, squeezing ever so slightly. The contact created an instant connection, like travelling on a high speed train through a darkened tunnel, images of our lives passing by in flashes too quick for the human eye. I could make out pictures of Rosalie and Emmett and the day Alice and Jasper came into our lives. Images of Esme raced by of the day Carlisle found her. And then there was Carlisle's warm, compassionate smile, the first day I laid my own eyes on him.
It was picture after picture of remarkable memories calling out to me from a sea of desolation, and I could feel myself smiling despite the misery that threatened to overwhelm me. The last image was the most surprising of them all, a young woman with long, thick, mahogany hair, walking through soft grass, and swaying wildflowers—violet, yellow, and soft white. The sun was directly overhead, filling the meadow with a haze of buttery sunshine. She spun around and the sight of her smile took my breath away all over again.
The flashes and the tunnel came to an abrupt stop and I found myself enveloped in blackness. At first thought, I was alone. Everything was completely void of light and sound, like a black hole. But I felt a presence behind me and the panic threatened to overtake me as I spun around searching through the darkness for what it could possibly be.
And then I heard her whisper. "I come here to get away from it all."
"Alice." I breathed a sigh of relief. A small light began to glow from her outstretched hands. It was a small candle and allowed me to see that it really was her, and she seemed so tiny, so fragile. I made my way over to her and there were tears in her eyes which spilled as I pulled her into my arms. I knew this was impossible that this was not real. This was an alternate reality Alice had created from the confines of her mind.
"We can't save them," she said into my chest.
"I know."
I did everything to comfort her as best I could and I wasn't sure how long we stayed like that, until I felt her pull away from me. She looked up at me, and I realized this is what she must have looked like as a human. Her eyes were red-rimmed from crying but they were an exquisite shade of gray-blue, and her cheeks were slightly flushed.
"You're beautiful."
She smiled a half-smile. "I don't remember, but this is what I imagine."
"You're perfect." I lightly gripped her shoulders, and gently kissed her forehead, hoping to convey how much I loved her. "What can we do, Alice?"
"It's done. There's no stopping it now. The Volturi know a lot of powerful contacts and in less than forty-eight hours, they will create instability within the governments with all their digging without even knowing it. It's going to happen quickly. Paranoia will set in, and the United States will go on red alert by end of day tomorrow. Right now, a salvage ship from Russia, posing as a fishing vessel, is looking for that hydrogen bomb from 1958 off the coast of Georgia. The one that jettisoned from the B-47 after it crashed with the F-86 fighter plane. They have been looking for it for some time, but have not been successful as of yet, but that may change. Do you remember the bomb? The one the U.S. government never found?"
"Yes, but I thought that was all rumor? They said they recovered it just last year." I vaguely recalled the news of this supposed bomb off the coast of Georgia. It was called the Tybee Bomb, because it was lost off the waters of Tybee Island, near Savannah. Two years ago, a Colonel claimed to have found it.
"It doesn't look like it," she spoke softly. "At this point, I'm not sure if they will find it, but Aro will let the right people—or wrong people depending on how you look at it—know this is happening. It's not going to sit well with the two governments, especially when Aro's involvement will already have them trigger happy as it is. This added news will only further the alarm, and other nations will take sides."
"Can't we stop it?"
"No, it's done. Aro's meddling will have a ripple effect amongst other nations. They will believe that Russia has their hands on a 'Mark 15 hydrogen bomb,' and no one will rest easy. That kind of bomb packs an explosive punch a hundred times more powerful than Hiroshima."
I cursed under my breath at the information Alice was feeding me. I saw it clearly all laid out, through her. "There has to be a way."
"There isn't. I've tried every scenario and nothing we could do will change the outcome. Carlisle's call set it all in motion. Before, it was just random thoughts, probably because the fishing vessel was so close to finding the bomb, but hadn't actually found it. Aro's involvement has decided the world's fate. The path we are currently on, stocking up and bracing for the outcome, and helping the survivors, is the best we can hope for. That is the right path now," she finished quietly, lowering her head. We stood like that for a moment, weighing the information, before she continued, "I'm sorry, Edward."
"What do you have to be sorry for?" I lifted her chin to look at me and gave her a hopeful smile. "You have done more than anyone could possibly have hoped for, Alice. You will have saved us. We love you and are so incredibly grateful."
"No." She shook her head vehemently. "I mean, I'm sorry I can't find her. I saw some glimpses of her with her mother in Phoenix. They are at her house and I see her clearly, even though she doesn't look the same, but I know it's her."
"What do you mean she doesn't look the same?"
"She's sick or something. She's like a ghost. She's so pale, and her eyes are all sunken in. She doesn't speak or anything, and I see Renee and Phil terribly worried about her. Something's not right with her. She needs you."
"When, Alice? When do you see this?" I grasped her shoulders, desperate to know more.
"I don't know. I see her clear as day sitting on the edge of her bed looking out her window. She must see something, because for a split second her eyes light up, but then there is a trace of alarm in her face and then, nothing. Everything goes black."
Dropping my hands from Alice's shoulders, I clenched my fists holding in the frustrated scream that was threatening to come out.
"I'm sorry, Edward."
I took a deep breath, fully knowing this was killing Alice just as much as it was killing me. I was torn because I didn't know if I could leave her like this. She was in so much pain and I was the only one that could reach her. "Alice—"
"You have to leave me. I'll be okay, but you have to leave the rest of us and get to her, this much I know, before it's too late."
I winced knowing full well she was right, but it didn't comfort me any more knowing that she was okay with me leaving her to face this all alone.
"I can't leave you alone like this."
"You have to," she spoke softly. "It's the only way. When I come out of this, I want to have my brother and my sister by my side. I won't forgive myself if something happens to her because of me, Edward."
"You really are something else, Alice."
"I know." She stuck her tongue out at me, and that gesture cut the tension I was feeling, and I laughed along with her.
"What do you want me to tell the others? Jasper?"
"I don't know what is going to happen to me, but you'll think of something. I think they know how I feel about each of them." She reached up and placed a hand on my face, gently grazing my brow, it was warm and soft and surprised me. "Just tell Jasper, I'm fighting. I'm fighting to get back to him—" her voice broke as she tried to finish her sentence and her tears welled up again.
Reaching up to wipe the tears from her cheeks, it was such an odd alien thing to do after all these years, never having experienced this with her, but it was comforting and reminded me of Bella, my human. I was overwhelmed at how lucky I was to have Alice in my life.
"I–I am so…"
"I know. Now go. I'll be okay and I'll see you and Bella soon." She stood on her tiptoes leaning up to kiss my cheek. I picked her up and wrapped my arms around her.
"I love you, Alice."
"I know, silly. Get out of here, before you make me cry again."
I broke our contact and started walking backward, away from her and the candle's flame started to flicker. I heard the echo of her voice.
'Three days, Edward. You have three days before the bombs go off' and then the flame went out. I gasped as the light from the day burned my eyes.
"Edward!" I could hear Esme's relief as she called my name and her hands came up to my face caressing my cheeks and smoothing my hair.
I looked at my surroundings. We were still in the same place, but the light from the mid-day sun was now behind me.
"How long?"
"Three hours." Jasper's voice broke, and I looked over at him. He was worse than before, much worse. Alice was curled up in his arms, almost as if she was sleeping and he was looking at me with desperation.
Is she…
"She's okay, and she's beautiful." I smiled a heartfelt smile at my brother.
Jasper closed his eyes and relief washed over each of us as he expressed his feelings.
Thank you.
"She wanted me to tell you she's fighting … for you." He turned his head, and I could hear a quiet sob as he processed my words. He lifted his hand and tenderly traced the outline of her lips with his fingers. Leaning in, he placed soft kisses on each of her eyelids before moving on to her lips.
"Alice, come back to me," he whispered.
It seemed I had put my family through their own anguish during my time with Alice, so I quickly explained what she had shared with me. Carlisle was processing everything I was telling him and I could see that things were starting to add up for him. He questioned Alice's information, that there was nothing to be done to change the course of action, and I did my best to convince him that the events were set, all we could do now was brace for impact. He unwillingly accepted what I had to share, and I knew everything was weighing on him heavily. His thoughts were a mess of jumbled blame and guilt towards himself, and there was nothing I could say to convince him otherwise. I could tell he was going to do his damndest to set things right, however possible, and this worried me.
"From what you told us earlier, Edward, I did some research on red flags and white stripes. I think it's Latvia. There aren't too many reasons for a protest or demonstration to be happening in Latvia, but for the past several years, they have been celebrating 'Latvian Legion Day.' This year the Latvian government did not approve of the celebration, but they are going to go against the government and continue the celebration. This may explain the uniformed people."
"When does this take place?" I asked.
"March sixteenth."
"What's today?"
"The thirteenth."
"Alice told me we had three days. It fits."
2016 -:- Present Day
EDWARD, WHAT THE HELL are you doing? I know you can hear me!
Her scorn was clearly evident as I heard the string of expletives that followed.
And you call me selfish! How could you do this to them? Rosalie's thoughts revealed that she was standing on the edge of the boundary, the exact spot where I had crossed. She was standing on a large boulder outcrop, looking in the direction I had headed. Around her, bright green foliage flourished and she turned to see the large decayed tree that I had pushed over—its roots towering over her.
Nice, Edward. Real nice.
I know you've concocted some insane agreement with Emmett, but I'll be damned if I let you ruin the one chance this family has for living a better life than what we've been living. We have a chance to make this a home again.
She was fuming as only Rosalie could, and was ready to tear a strip off of me if she could get her hands on me. But even she wasn't willing to cross the boundary line to do so.
This isn't just about you anymore!
You've broken the treaty and you'll have brought this down on all of us. Do you realize that, or are you too self-absorbed to understand?
The Quileute's are alive! Charlie told us so. For some reason those crazy bastards believed Charlie when he told them about Alice's vision. Her thoughts paused.
Stop wallowing and get over yourself!
I had stopped running, and stood listening … waiting, as the gentle sway and creaking of the dead trees lulled me into a peaceful trance. She was quiet for a long time, and I had hoped she had gone away.
I'm sorry she's dead. I know you don't believe me…but I am.
It's not that I didn't like her, I just…I just didn't understand what was so special about her. She had this pull over you that I couldn't understand, and maybe, I don't know, maybe I was jealous.
I don't know…
Again, the silence filled my mind, and I waited. I was sure she had gone this time.
I don't know how it would have worked, but I do know if there was any one in this world capable of loving a human it would be you.
Ugh! I don't even know if you can hear me, so I might just be wasting my time standing here looking like an idiot. Why do I even bother with you! It's not like you ever listen to anyone, especially me.
Do you know how unbelievably frustrating you are? No one else can push my buttons like you can.
I waited, smiling a little at her admonishments. How Carlisle ever thought we could be mates, I would never understand.
I know what she meant to you, Edward. It took me a long time to admit it, but I know she was your other half in this world. Like Emmett is mine. Please believe me, I always wanted to see you happy. I truly did. I just thought I knew what was best for you.
I waited. This time even longer and I looked down at my shoes. They were slightly sinking into the soft ground and I was just about to turn around and continue running away from the treaty line, before I heard her again, softly this time.
I miss my brother. The one that was happy for a time. I miss my brother that took care of us when no one could take care of themselves. I even miss my brother that argues with me relentlessly.
I heard a far off scream, knowing Rosalie was letting off some steam.
And now, I know you've made this deal, and I don't know what it is. But I have a pretty good idea that you are planning to end your existence. I mean, you're on a suicide run right now! Right? That's what this is, isn't it? Do you realize you are going to take the rest of us down with you? Because you know we'll fight for you. We won't give you up that easily. We'll fight, Edward, just like you fought for each of us.
I chewed on her words for a moment. She was absolutely right. I sighed, taking in another deep breath. Not one of my family members would let the wolves take me … if they did indeed exist. What was I thinking? I had worked too hard these past ten years, to throw it all away like this. Charlie's actions wouldn't change the outcome, Bella would still be dead. I couldn't die this way, because it would be at my family's expense, and then where would I be? All this hard work, all this effort, my redemption—all for nothing. What had I done?
Without even realizing it, I had started walking back the way I had come. I could see Rosalie's form hunched over, sitting on the rock I had seen in her thoughts, her forearms were resting on her knees and her head was down. I stood watching her for a moment, contemplating all she had said. I always had the hardest time with her. We were like oil and vinegar, but it never seemed to matter, because despite our differences we loved each other immensely. She was the biggest pain in my ass, but seeing her sitting there, waiting for me, I couldn't help but smile. She was one of the few things I had left in this world to care about, her tenacity and all.
The wind shifted, and her head snapped up. I saw that her eyes were sad before they zeroed in on me, and then those same sad eyes shot right through me as she glared menacingly.
God you are such a jackass!
"Believe me, the feeling's mutual."