Drabble 5: Snog like a Fitz

A/N: The title came from something Clark Gregg said in a panel, before season five premiered, and I think it's hysterical.

"What's one of the most useful skills for undercover operations?" Ward asked.

"Preparation," Simmons said.

"No," he said, pointing at her. "You can't rely on preparation."

"What are we doing right now?" Fitz asked.

"Training to be better at undercover."

"So you could say we're preparing for undercover, couldn't you?" Fitz asked. He smiled at Simmons. "Seems like preparation is the most useful."

Ward stared at him.

"He does actually have a point," Skye said.

"You were saying?" Simmons asked Ward.

He lowered his hand. "You need to be able to improv," he saw the collective winces, but didn't let them say anything. "but that's a-whole-nother lesson, for a different day. For now, we just need to work on flirting."

Skye choked on her drink. "Sorry, what?"

"I think he's serious," Fitz said.

"Flirting is one of the best ways to distract someone. If they're distracted, you can do whatever you need to – whether that's running away or finishing the op."

Skye set her water bottle down. "And how do you plan on testing this?"

Ward gestured at himself. The others continued to stare at him.

"I'm not flirting with you," Fitz said.

"Fitz -."

"No, no way," Fitz said, shaking his head.

"Fitz, I was gonna say you can try it with Skye or Simmons, and I'll watch."

"Oh," Fitz said. "Yeah, that makes sense."

Skye snickered.

"Alright Skye, you can go first," Ward said.

The amusement faded from her expression for a second, and then she smirked as she stood up. "Hi," she said in a softer, darker voice that made Fitz-Simmons narrow their eyes. How did she change her character so quickly? Skye walked over to Ward, her body language relaxed, and placed a hand on his arm. "I'm Skye." She moved her hand down his arm lightly and then brought her eyes up to his. "What's your name?"

Ward studied her for a second, and then nodded. "Good. Simmons?"

Skye smiled and plopped back down in her seat, while Simmons nervously stood. She walked over to him, rubbing one hand over the other as she looked at him. "You… certainly look fit," she said, raising her eyebrows. "You must be able to lift very heavy things…"

Ward crossed his arms. "I can."

Simmons swallowed, struggling to think of something good. What had Skye done?

She took another step closer – and stepped on his foot. "Sorry, sorry!" she cried, backing up four steps. She looked at him and saw he wanted her to keep going. "I'm a bit clumsy when I'm flustered," she said.

"Why are you flustered?"

She opened her mouth for a second, thinking furiously. Skye watched with a hand over her mouth, half amused and half horrified. Simmons reached a hand up and started playing with her hair. "I'm not very good at talking to new people, especially those so much bigger than me." She pressed her eyebrows together. No, that didn't work. She stopped playing with her hair and tried to copy Skye and touch his arm, but she was too far away from him to just reach out. So she moved forward quickly, her hand out.

Skye laughed as Ward took a step back and held his hand up. "Okay, I'm gonna stop you there."

Simmons sighed. "I didn't know what to do at all!"

"You had a few different openings," Ward said. "When I crossed my arms, you could have kept going with the strength thing. When I asked why you were flustered, you could have said something… well, better."

"Give me a strategy and I can follow it," Simmons said. "I need data before an experiment. This is no different."

"It's okay," Ward said. "We'll work on it."

Simmons sat down, looking disappointed. Skye touched her arm. "It wasn't all bad," she reassured her.

Simmons gave her a quick smile. Fitz looked from her to Ward, a strange look on his face as he thought of something.

"Fitz, you're up," Ward said.

Fitz walked over to Ward with big, purposeful steps, his shoulders thrown back. Ward took a step back. "What are you doing?" he asked quickly.

"What do you think?"

"I thought you were gonna practice on one of the girls?"

"Scared you'll be attracted to me?" Fitz teased. "Probably wise." He turned and looked at the girls, taking a second to smile at Simmons once Ward couldn't see his face. Now she wasn't the only one to be a bit uncomfortable. She seemed to understand, and silently thanked him.

He cleared his throat and lifted his chin, looking at them with half-closed eyes. "I'm a rocket scientist."

Skye cocked her head to the side, waiting. Fitz kept looking between them. "Is that it?" Skye asked after a few seconds.

Fitz faltered. "Is that not enough?" he slumped his shoulders slightly, returning to his usual posture and demeanor. "I saw it in a movie once; a whole bunch of girls went to talk to the guy. I thought it might… well, obviously not." He sat back down in his seat and looked at Ward expectantly.

"You still have that movie?" Ward asked resignedly.

"I'll find a copy online," Skye said, grabbing her laptop.

"I'll make popcorn," Fitz said.

Simmons stood up too, and Ward looked at her. "Where are you going?"

"To get a notebook," she said, as if this were the only logical answer. "I need to collect data." She looked over her shoulder in the doorway, a spark of mischief in her eyes. "To be prepared."