Author's note: some language…you been warned…
Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That's alright
Welcome to my silly life
I began to hold her trembling cold hands in mine. A few tears began to cascade down my face, as I got down on my knees in front of her. She didn't respond to my presence, she was gazing at me but not really at me. She had a long gone look upon her features. My red-trimmed eyes began to fog up vision, but somehow managed to locked with hers. Her once bright blue eyes were no alive, they were covered in running mascara, her eyeliner reached to her now ghostly pale cheeks. Her eyes they hold no sparkle, they were now empty, shallow- they were broken.
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss "no way it's all good"
It didn't slow me down
Mistaken
Always second guessing
Underestimated
Look, I'm still around...
"Clare" I whispered afraid if I rose my voice it would scare her and harmed her more then she already was. No response, she kept staring at the dull plain wall in front of her. Her once beautiful combed auburn hair was now in huge messy bundle of curls. She sat in the middle of her bed, tucked under her covers, her knees were tugged in front of her, her head was on top of her knees. She blinked once but didn't turn her head away from the wall but other then that she gave no hint that she knew I was there. I took a deep breath, stood up and gave her hands a small pat and leaned over to kiss her forehead, staring right at her I whispered "I'll be back tomorrow, take care Clare." as I made my way to the door I stole one last look at my best friend-she was broken, but I refused to give up and leave her to rot on the hole she was currently in.
Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Fuckin' perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're fuckin' perfect to me
It has been days since Clare ate anything, showered or even went outside. She made no movement to move , she just sat there.
You're so mean
When you talk
About yourself
You are wrong
I was next to her bed, I was currently sitting on the very uncomfortable metal chair holding her hand as she kept being in her own world. I squeezed her hand, but to no avail no movement what so ever. It seemed like she was fighting herself, and she was slowly loosing…and I couldn't help it, I was only to hold her hand. And the pain in my chest expanded as these thoughts attacked me. I was to wait until Clare saw how much she was worth. I had to wait for Clare to-love herself. And then maybe I will be able to save her.
Change the voices
In your head
Make them like you
InsteadSo complicated
Look how big you'll make it
Filled with so much hatred
It was mid December, the weather only got colder as each passing day began anew. I was clad in light blue jeans, tennis shoes, a red jacket with only a dead hand t-shirt underneath, my hands were bare. Clare was sitting in her positions of months before, she had his jacket draped around her shoulders, underneath that she had her white nightgown that exposed her shoulders. The weather had no effect on her, no movement, I in the other hand was shaking as I gripped her hand. I came at 7 in the morning next thing I knew hours flew, it was soon night time. Midnight to be exact, I was about to pass out from lack of sleep, I shut my eyes for a quick minute. My hand still in place with hers. Flashbacks of my past haunted me as I was engulfed by the darkness…
Such a tired game
It's enough
I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons
See you same
I had my eyes closed for a few minutes, my past soon forgotten when I thought of her. About how much pain she had to go thru, from her sister, her so called friends, her parents but how much he caused her pain due to the words he stupidly told her that night, the same night he went and became selfish. My left hand formed itself into a tight fist…I cant believe him- he-my thoughts were interrupted when I heard a slight movement coming from the bed…
Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Fuckin' perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
my eyes fluttered open, as I slowly turned my face to gaze to my right. There she was. She had her eyes closed as if in a deep trance. I thought I imagined to movement since I desperately wanted one for months now. After a disappointing minute of nothing, I turned my head and lowered my gaze as fresh tears threatened to leak out of my eyes….I failed….I
You're fuckin' perfect to me
The world stares while I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and I tried tried
But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cuz they're everywhere
They don't like my genes, they don't get my hair
Stringe ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that?
Why do I do that?
Why do I do that?
"!"…
My eyes opened slowly, I turned once again my vision failing me as I tried to make contact. When I could I was faced with her looking right at me. A smile began to appear upon my chapped lips as she blinked and a ghostly smile appeared upon her own lips…I couldn't believe this!
Ooh, pretty pretty pretty,
Pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less then, fuckin' perfect
Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel
Like you're nothing you're fuckin' perfect, to me
You're perfect
You're perfect
Pretty, pretty please don't you ever ever feel like you're less then,
I used my left hand to wipe my tear stricken face free, and she still was there. smiling at me, I couldn't hold back anymore as I jumped off the metal chair into her inhabited bed of months and threw my arms around her now small and fragile figure, our locked hands still intact not untangled. I squished her tight as if I let go of her she would of disappeared…my salt tears now freely falling, soaking her. She didn't seemed to care as she let me embraced her…she sat there quietly for a few moments before she gently squeezed my hand…."Adam"….
fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please if you ever ever feel like you're nothing you're fucking perfect to me
Song: perfect
Artist: pink
Author's note: some Adam and Clare friendship. I feel strongly about this piece…