Hey, everyone! How are you? Good? Good, because I don't want my readers to be sad.
Anyway, I was chatting with Sabrina Sparrow (yes, The Sabrina Sparrow, I know, right? Read her stories, or I will tell Derek Landy to shun you. I swear, I will) the other day, and I showed her this wooden skeleton –aptly named Sammy the World's Worst Detective- that I made. She suggested that I make clothing for it, and put on a hat. I, for one put on the only hat that I could find- a mini sombrero.
So, there is the background story to this fanfic. I just put that there, to reassure you all that indeed, I am perfectly sane. So, here we go!
Valkyrie Cain and Skulduggery Pleasant were standing in the attic of Gordon's house. Well, it was Valkyrie's house, but oh well.
Echo- Gordon had asked them very nicely to look through it, for a copy of The Eyetooth, one of Gordon's favorite reads. Of course, Valkyrie had protested, but Skulduggery had said that it builds character.
So here Valkyrie was, shuffling through piles of useless crap, trying to find a damn book.
"You know, I'm beginning to suspect that Gordon was secretly a Hoarder." Valkyrie called over to Skulduggery, who was on the other side of the large attic, looking through things. "She should go on that television show about people who hoard things."
"You mean Hoarders?" Skulduggery called back.
"Yeah sure."
"Well, I don't know about hoarding things, but he certainly does have unusual things lying around." Skulduggery said, making a point. Valkyrie glanced over the piles of things, to see Skulduggery. He had a ripped stuffed animal of Kermit the Frog.
Valkyrie shook with laughter, as Skulduggery flicked it away. The green animal hit the wooden wall, a nail sticking out of the ring on the string, which was attached to the back of Kermit's back. The pre-recorded voice in the voice box played, as the Kermit raised and lowered on the string.
"It's not easy being green." It said, over and over and over and over and over.
Valkyrie's laugh began to fade in her through, and began to be replaced with annoyance. After shuffling through magazines that Valkyrie was offended by, she spun on her heel, picking up the closest thing on the table that she was looking over.
It was a bottle of Dos Equis.
Valkyrie smiled evilly to herself. She searched the table, until she found what she was looking for. She found a couple sheets of paper, and a lighter. She stuffed the long in of paper into the bottle, then ignited the paper, throwing it at the Kermit.
The Molotov Cocktail exploded, leaving a hole in the wood, burning the hole at the edges.
"WHAT THE HELL." Skulduggery yelled, backing away from the hole, five feet away. Valkyrie exploded in to fits od laughter, as Skulduggery fought to get the fire out. He was stomping on the fire, and using magic to douse it out. He looked like he was dancing like a chicken. He stormed over to Valkyrie, who was still laughing, and gave her a hypothetical stern look.
"You are in so much trouble." He pointed an accusing finger at her. She looked up at him, and his hat.
Or, what was left of his hat. She pointed to the hat, and fell over, laughing. Again. Skulduggery felt around his head for the head, and all he found was some ash, and a piece of cloth.
"God dammit." He cursed, looking for another hat. "Valkyrie, help me find a hat." He pleaded, and then went off.
Valkyrie's sides were hurting for the pain, and she was crying. She opened her eyes, and found the perfect. She giggled, pulling out her phone.
She picked up the hat, and put her phone on ready to take a picture. She saw Skulduggery on the opposite side of the attic, shuffling through a trunk of Shakespearian clothes.
Valkyrie crept down a small pathway through the loads of crap. There were clocks, chairs, fans, artworks, puzzle boxes, and even a tire.
Skulduggery had his back to her, and he was kneeling down, looking through another trunk. Valkyrie stepped forward, and put the electric blue sombrero on Skulduggery's head. There was gold and silver lining and tons of orange and pink sequins.
Skulduggery spun on his heel, just as Valkyrie took to picture. She sent the picture quickly to Tanith, Ghastly, Fletcher, and yes, China.
"Give that to me." Skulduggery hissed, reaching for the phone. Valkyrie moved it out of his grasp.
"Nope." She said. Skulduggery saw that his attempts were a lost cause, so he took straight.
"Well, I think I can sport this for a while, or at least until I go back home." Skulduggery decided.
"Fletcher said that he'd be here at three to pick us up for the Sanctuary meeting."
"Point being?"
"Three o'clock is in five minutes."
Skulduggery fell silent.
I wasn't originally planning to have Molotov cocktails in there, but that happened. This would probably be one of the most random stories ever. I have a feeling that this would also be one of the most poorly written ones that I had ever done. Maybe it's because I am watching the X Factor… Please review! Thank you.