-Matt's P.O.V-

Mello.

That was my first thought as I started to see light beneath my eyelids. It seemed too cold to be sunlight and to white to be a lamp.

Holy crap! Was I dead?

I couldn't really feel anything...

Yep. Definitely dead.

Hey! I can even hear an angel! This means I was a good boy! Yeah, I'm awesome, woot woot!

Wait.

Death is starting to feel painful.

Am I going to hell?

No, that cant be.

I can still hear the angel... they're calling me.

Matt.

Matt.

Matt.

"MATT!"

-End of Matt's P.O.V, back to 3rd person-

Matt's eyes snapped open and he let out a gasp that hitched in his throat painfully. He felt like he had just been drowning and he was covered in sweat.

Hands appeared on his shoulders to keep him from trashing as the desperate need for both knowledge and water tore at him.

Then he let out another gasp as a searing pain in his shoulder made him tense.

It was like being on fire!

"Matt, calm down, your fine... just calm down." A high voice told him. He knew the voice yet he didn't. It was to high to be anyone he knew as close as it was to Mello's voice-

Mello!
"Mello? Where is he?" Matt choked out, trying to beat back the ever growing pain in his shoulder.

"I'm right here Matt." The voice replied, high with fright.

"Mello?" Matt looked desperately around for him but could barely see anything.

"Put him out! He'll reopen it!" A voice shouted.

No!

Matt thrashed but let out a shuddering breath and shook a few times as a needle was stuck into his arm. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell against the soft cushions as blackness filled his brain once more.

…

Drip... drip...drip.

The dripping sound of an I.V was the loudest noise in the room when Matt's eyelids fluttered before his eyes opened all the way.

The room was clear.

Not orange.

He wasn't wearing his goggles.

He let out a groan and raised his hand to rub his eyes but it stopped as soon as it lifted.

It had brushed something soft and Matt turned his head to see that it had touched the corn colored hair of Mello who was fast asleep, sitting in a chair with his head on his folded arms next to Matt's blanketed legs.

"Mello?" Matt whispered trying to sit up bit more but let out a hiss of pain as the pain in his shoulder rekindled.

"Ow." He groaned after a few sharp intakes through his clenched teeth.

Mello let out a small groan before he slowly lifted his head from his arms, yawning like a lion. He blinked open his tired looking blue eyes before slowly turning his head to look at Matt who was grinning goofily at him, pain forgotten.

Mello stared at him, expression not changing as if his brain was to asleep to process this information.

"...Matty?" He asked, looking a bit confused.

Matt grinned and slowly Mello's eyes widened before slowly his whole face seemed to tremble before he broke down with a jagged sob.

"Mello?" Matt almost screamed, trying to sit up but again the pain in his shoulder forcing him back.

He had no choice but to watch helplessly as Mello cried into his folded arms, his sobs muffled but still audible.

"Mello what's wrong?" Matt cried.

"WHAT'S WRONG?" Mello cried at him, lifting his face as tears streamed down his cheeks "ARE YOU REALLY ASKING ME THAT?"

Matt blinked "Um... I got a new haircut?"

"YOUR SO STUPID!" Mello almost laughed as he tried to wipe at his tears that refused to stop.

Matt laughed at Mello's words, unable to help himself.

"I thought you were going freaking die Matt!" Mello said as he manged to calm down a bit "Die! And here you are, making me laugh at your denseness! Your so stupid! So stupid! Your so-"

But Mello was unable to continue as he leaned over to pull Matt into a hug. Matt hug him back tightly as Mello's tears soaked his shoulder.

Then Matt took in what Mello had said.

Die?

Matt blinked.

When Mello pulled back the red head looked down at and around himself.

He was in the orphanage infirmary, the full moon the only source of light at this hour of night. Moonlight was falling over his bed, thankfully letting him see both himself and Mello.

Matt could see that he was shirtless but half his upper body was wrapped in bandages and there was a small red spot slowly growing bigger by his right shoulder. The wet spot Mello's tears had left were soaking into the bandages.

"Am I bleeding?" He asked, a really stupid question now that he thought about it.

"Your worried about blood? Three days ago you were in a emergency room having a bullet ripped out of your shoulder!" Mello stared at him and Matt blinked "...What?"

"You don't remember anything?" Mello asked, hiccuping and wiping his eyes.

"No... Mello why am I bleeding?" Matt asked as his heart rate began to grow as a sorrowful expression spread across Mello's face.

"...I'm sorry Matt." Mello whispered after a long choking moment, his voice hitching and two tears slowly traced down his face.

"Mello-"

"I'm sorry."

"Mels-"

"I'm so sorry."

"Mello tell me-"

"It was my fault." Mello said, voice low and watery "It was my fault. I wanted to sneak out. I'm sorry Matt... it's my fault your hurt."

"...Sneak out?" Matt asked quietly.

Then they hit him with the force of a whale holding a popsicle.

Memories.

Studying. Ninja roll. Bar. Laughter. Mattresses. Hot chocolate. Lily. Linda. Pink belt. Saloon. Bag. Mello. Dynasty Warriors. Gummies. Chocolate. Lollipop. Alley. Mello... gun... shot...

"Oh." Matt whispered.

"What was I thinking Matt?" Mello questioned then his eyes narrowed "And what were you thinking? Throwing yourself in front of me was the stupidest think I've ever-"

"I...couldn't let it hit you." Matt interrupted, meeting Mello's eyes like this was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Matt this isn't a movie! People actually get hurt! You could have been killed." Mello said, grasping Matt's upper arms "You shouldn't have taken the bullet."

"But... it would have hit you." Matt replied, blinking.

"I know that." Mello gritted his teeth.

"You could have died..."

"You almost did!"

Matt didn't reply for a long moment as he stared into Mello's fear filled blue eyes.

"...It's not your fault." The red head whispered.

"Yes it is." Mello let go of Matt "All of it is."

"I don't blame you-"

"You should!" Mello snapped at him, looking frightened as he wrapped his arms around himself "I suggested sneaking out and I was the bullet's target! What part of this isn't my fault?"

Matt didn't get a chance to respond as the sound pounding of footsteps approaching the infirmary sounded. Mello jumped and looked at the door.

"Roger." He whispered, eyes widening before he looked around "I'm not suppose to be here!"

Matt pointed under his bed without a thought and Mello slid under it quickly just as the door to the infirmary opened.

"Matt?" A gruff voice asked and after a moment Roger walked into the moonlight, looking older than usual in the pale light.

"I'm awake sir." Matt replied.

"Who were you talking to?" Roger asked, eagle eyes traveling around the room, zooming in on shadowy corners "Or shall we just pretend Mr. Mello wasn't just here?"

"I'd like to go with the latter...sir" Matt replied and Roger narrowed his eyes at Matt before he pulled up a seat next to the red head's bed.

"How do you feel?" Roger asked, lacing his fingers together in front of him.

"Fine sir." Matt replied.

"Lier, you just woke up for the second time after being shot. I'll ask again. How do you feel?" Roger scowled and Matt thought about it this time.

That was when he actually registered the sandpaper dry feel of his throat and a slight headache. He winced as he took in these factors and Roger gave a grunt.

"I'm kinda thirsty." Matt replied.

A complete understatement.

Matt gulped down the glass of water Roger brought him and two more after that. It helped both his head and throat and it made his empty hole of a stomach growl.

"You won't be able to eat till tomorrow." Roger said, more disapproving then anything.

"Okay." Matt nodded, knowing Roger was saving the hurricane for when Matt was in better health.

Matt felt the bed jerk slightly and assumed, from the low swears to soft for Roger's ears, Mello had smacked his head.

Roger bid him good night with a sniff of irritation and drew the blinds before striding out into the lite hallway.

Matt waited till the light streaming in from the cracks in the door were extinguished before he whispered "He's gone Mello."

After a moment Matt heard Mello roll out from under the bed and saw his silhouette disrupt the darkness as he rose.

"Do you want me to stay or go?" Mello asked, his hair swishing against his face as he looked in the direction of Matt who he could barely see.

"Stay." Matt replied almost reflexively and he scooted over, making plenty of room for the chocoholic.

Mello hesitated before he carefully and slowly walked around the bed and sat down next to the injured gamer. He swung his legs up and leaned his back against his half of the feathered pillow.

"I'll fine a way to make it up to you Matt," The blonde whispered "Even if it means buying you all the games and game systems in the world."

Matt smiled "You could start by admitting it wasn't your fault."

Mello didn't reply, just tilted his head onto Matt's shoulder and closed his eyes.

…

The damage could have been a lot worse.

That little note was what was concentrated on for half of Matt's two hour doctor speech. He was half asleep by the time they finally moved on to his recovery time and limits.

Nothing to hard core and things like wrestling and upper body demanding sports were out of the question. They told him that part would last at least a month if not more but Matt just gave a shrug at hearing this news.

It wasn't till they got to his favorite subject did he snap to attention.

For every hour of computer or video game playing there had to be an hour break.

Mello, who had stuck with Matt throughout this boring lecture, had had to keep Matt from both trying to strangle the doctors and crying.

"It's only for a month." The blonde reassured him, hands on Matt's shoulders to keep him from acting upon the increasingly violent death threats in his head.

Then it was Roger's turn.

And Matt left that with more than a wounded shoulder. In fact he, despite Mello's eye rolls, insistent he was going deaf in one ear now.

Then he was finally given food and a shower with some help from a male nurse sent from the local hospital, where Matt had gone before being moved back to the orphanage.

But the worse was yet to come.

For Matt still had the deadliest threat of all to face.

Lily.

And Linda.

Mello was one thing, bringing him ice and food all the time and fussing over him which Matt found absolutely adorable.

But the two females were in a whole new category.

"ARE YOU SURE YOUR OKAY? YOUR LOOKING PALE, YOU SHOULD REST." Lily was badgering him as he took his first step outside since he had the bullet wrenched out of his shoulder.

"That's because it's almost winter." Matt replied, eye twitching.

He was starting to wish he had just gone with Mello.

"EXCUSES! COME ON, SIT DOWN!" Linda roared at him.

Mello sent Matt a small smile, arm hovering behind him slightly in case Matt wobbled.

Matt had to roll his eyes at that, he had been shot in the shoulder, not the leg.

Or maybe Mello was waiting for him to go into shock and keel over?

Matt blinked.

Huh... here he was, a hole in his shoulder and no sign that his body was about to be hit with shock.

Matt honestly didn't feel anything.

In fact, he was able to spend more time out of class now. He was even excused from exams! He was actually rather happy with his situation.

Only bad part was Matt was on the edge of going stir crazy, the reason for their walk.

Roger had forbidden him from walking around alone and with exams finding people to take him places wasn't the easiest thing in the world.

Mello had tried to insist he could disregard studying for an hour every now and then but Matt down right rejected him.

"You've got an albino to beat." Matt had grinned, bopping his roommate on the head.

But now Mello's exams were over and Matt had three days till his birthday.

...At least he could still play soccer.

…

Although cloudy Matt was pleasantly surprised with a somewhat warm birthday.

It's like the changing of the seasons had put it's self on hold to allow him a day outside in which to destroy anyone in a five yard radius at soccer.

Aah soccer, the game of feet.

"Geeeeeet up!" Matt said, still shaking Linda who just rolled over while Lily was using a shiny paint can to do her hair.

"fvfdvfbgd." Was Linda's only reply.

"Coooome on!" Matt pulled off all her blankets and her knees were to her chest in an instant as she shivered and peeked one eye open.

Matt smiled and waved, only a slight pain in his shoulder reminding him not to get rough.

"Your lucky it's your birthday." Linda grumbled after a moment and Matt's smile widened as the artist stood, brushing off her nightgown and shooing him out so she could get dressed.

Mello was already out in the hall, trying to bounce a soccer ball around on his head.

Matt continued his set list while Mello did this and began knocking on other doors. Most of the students didn't think twice about wanting to spend the day outside with the snow already unusually late.

Mello insisted it was global warming but Matt refused to believe anything other than it was luck.

When their group of players had assembled Matt led the way at a half skip toward the doors, pulling on a light jacket as he walked.

Mello, who was much more use to the cold than Matt, only needed a long sleeved black shirt and pants. Matt pouted as he noticed most of his fellow students had just long sleeves and pants, having grown up in cold places before coming to Wammy's.

Matt glanced back in time to see Linda looking into one of the spare rooms and call out "Near you should play outside sometime."

"I'm fine." A low voice that Matt barely caught replied and Lily just hit Linda's arm as she was about to argue and the blonde said "Leave him alone Linda."

Matt chuckled, looking forward and just managed to open the front door he had been about to smack into.

Mello smirked, noticing and Matt kicked at his shin before he skipped down the stairs and ran to get nets.

After drawing straws Matt found himself making 'come at me bro' motions at Mello who had ended up on the opposite team.

"COME AT ME!" He roared, pounding his chest before wincing a bit.

Mello reached out a hand but Matt waved him off "I'm fine, just hit a bit to hard."

Mello frowned but his smile was back in place as he ran to take the goalie spot.

…

The match went smoothly, only getting a bit physical when Mello kicked the ball into Pavel's face and couldn't hold back a laugh, provoking the little russian to chase him around the court, throwing the ball at him.

Matt found it a bit unfair that Mello was goalie seeing as the blonde was very good and very practiced in performing death glares that scared away people that started to get near.

Matt went a bit slower after almost slipping twice and getting an eye lecture from Mello.

The red head only scored one goal but it was one out of three.

Matt sighed with a small chuckle as drops began to drip down on them as the unavoidable rain began to pour from the sky.

The score was three to nine in Mello's favor.

An official creaming.

They hurried into the orphanage, Pavel still chasing Mello a bit.

Mello smacked lightly at Pavel's head till a wrinkled hand pulled it away and Roger detached the blonde from the crowd.

"Mello," He said and called into the spare room "and Near come with me please."

"Hm?" Both Matt and Mello questioned while Near gave an emotionless "Okay."

"Move on Matt." Roger told him as he led both Mello and Near into his office.

Matt only had time to catch the grim look on Roger's face before the door closed and Matt was shepherded away by the crowd hungry for lunch.

After filling himself with mac and cheese Matt collapsed one the bed, smiling brightly at the ceiling.

He felt warm from his head to the tip of his toe despite the fact he was wet with cold rain.

Birthday's really could be the best.

His musing was cut short about five minutes later when the door banged opened and a black and yellow blur entered, going around the room like a tornado as several different objects were thrown onto Mello's bed.

"Mello?" Matt sat up quickly, eyes wide.

The blonde didn't answer as he began stuffing stuff into his backpack.

"What happened?" Matt demanded as he rose.

"L is dead." Mello hissed as he went around for more objects, throwing it onto the half full pack.

"What-" Matt started but Mello cut him off, knowing what he was going to say "I said L's dead! You heard me! Kira killed him."

"But that's..." Matt blinked, stunned "But that can't be!"

"Can't it?" Mello snarled as he began forcing the zipper of the bag closed "Roger just told me!"

"He could be wrong! L could be-" Matt started.

"Stop it Matt!" Mello shouted at the red-head who took a step back. Mello swung the backpack onto his shoulder and continued, voice low and dangerous "Stop looking on the bright side! Get it through your thick skull! There is no bright side to this!"
"Mello..." Matt whispered as Mello stalked toward the hall "Mello where are you going?"
"I'm getting away from this hell hole!" The blonde snapped and Matt ran after him as Mello sped down the hall, his steps heavy and full of undisguised anger.
"B-but, you can't just leave!" Matt had to run to keep up as Mello shoved his shoes on. They had reached the entrance hall. The sound of rain was loud now, thundering against the roof and trying to drown out the screams of Matt's mind.
"Watch me!" Mello snarled.
He tore the door open and a gale of wind swooped in, almost knocking both boys off their feet.
"Wait Mello!" Matt cried as the blonde made to step out into the rain.
Time seemed to slow as if in slow motion as Matt ran forward and grabbed Mello's shoulder. He used all his strength to turn the blonde around to face him. Matt could feel tears on his face and in his eyes and couldn't stop the sob that rose in his throat. Matt only saw Mello's eyes widened as the gamer grasped the blonde's face and crush his lips to his own.
The roar of the wind and rain seemed to dull the moment the boy's lips touched.
Matt threw every unspoken word into the kiss. His love for the blonde, his devotion, his need. Mello couldn't just leave him, not when Matt felt this way. The bitter passion that had drove him to stop that bullet from hitting Mello swelled within him and he pressed himself harder against the chocoholic. Because Matt wanted Mello with every fiber of his body, to have him here or there, to have him anywhere, just have him. Matt let out a small sigh.
Then the warmth that was Mello disappeared. Matt eyes opened as he felt the hands of his angel shove him back, away from him.
Mello was breathing heavily and Matt could see tears in the blonde's eyes. He saw a wave of emotions cross through those blue orbs before Mello clenched his fists and screamed at Matt.
The words that destroyed the very essence of Matt's being. The words that made him want to curl up and die. The words that broke his small, fragile heart.
"I hate you!"
Such words once would have bounced off of Matt. Would have made him laugh and tease Mello. He had always known Mello didn't mean them. But not this time.
Not this time.
Mello repeated the words, pouring lemon juice into Matt's already deep wound.
The blonde's tears trailed down his face, mixing with strands of straw colored hair that Matt knew smelled of rosemary.
"Mello." Matt whispered but the blonde shook his head, water flying from his face "No! Shut up Matt! Shut up! I hate you! I-"
But Mello's voice was cracking, he took a step backward, shaking his head.
"Mello!" Matt gasped "No!
But Mello had already turned on his heel and ran into the storm.
"Mello!" Matt screamed after him. He could hear footsteps, people were coming. Matt ran toward the still open door, his tears blinding him. Hands, cold hands closed around his mid section and dragged him back. He could hear Roger's voice and Near's. Could see a small flash of white as the small albino fought to close the door against the wind and rain.
Matt screamed and thrashed in Roger's arms.
He screamed to be free.
He screamed to die.
Pretty ironic huh?

To want to die on your birthday.

Author's Note: I've had that ending for about... three months maybe? Some of you were very cruel to Matt in your reviews. I know you wanted Mello to baby him but you all wanted Matt to get shot. xD

My friend, Niarhaanin, keeps telling me I'm terrible for writing this ending cause I gush about my fan fictions to her all the time. So apparently I am a terrible person ;-;

Anyway thanks as aways for your reviews I hit 175 and love you all for it! ^-^

Please R&R!