CHAPTER 18
-:- Music Has Charms to Soothe the Savage Beast -:-
2006 -:- Past Memories
None of us breathed. The three of us stood like statues staring at Esme, waiting for her to react. Her thoughts raced through my head as Emmett's words played over and over. Her expression was as crushed as the pieces of ceramic beneath her feet. The only sound in the room was the damn goat that continued to bleat as it recognized Esme standing in the doorway. Its cries filled the room, and with the silence of everything else, it was loud and extremely overwhelming.
Esme's mouth shut tight, her lips pressed firmly together. She stood up tall, straightening her posture, while her fists clenched at her sides. I had never seen or heard that much anger from her in all the years we had been a family. She was more than a 'woman scorned,' she was well beyond that. The rejection was evident in her eyes. They turned cold and dark, but her mind went blank, almost numb more like it. I had no inkling as to what she was thinking or what she would do next.
Without looking at the three of us, she staggered to the pen where the goat was calling out for her. Our eyes followed her, but our bodies stayed stationary, too terrified to move. The goat continued to bleat while it nudged her thigh affectionately looking to be fed. She lifted her hands—they were shaking slightly, the only indication she was feeling something— and gently roamed them down its neck, like she was caressing it. In one sharp movement, her shoulders twisted, snapping the goat's neck, silencing the room of its cries. She picked it up under her arm, and carried it out of the room without saying a word.
"Ah, what just happened?" Emmett said in utter disbelief.
"You! Is what happened, Emmett! How could you be that insensitive?" I rubbed my hands on my thighs, like I was trying to get the feeling back in my limbs.
"She had to find out eventually." He shrugged his shoulders. "I am not the bad guy in this."
"Yes, she had to find out, but that wasn't exactly how it should have happened." I yelled at him, and he yelled back. We continued to argue toe to toe, neither of us holding back. We fought about everything and anything that had happened in the last few decades, both of us calling the other out for ridiculous things we had done in the past.
"Stop it," Alice whispered. "Stop," she said a little louder. We could hear her saying it over and over again, until eventually she screamed, the sound bouncing off the concrete walls. We stopped mid sentence to look over at Alice who had her hands in her head. "What is happening to us?" she said to herself.
"Emmett, what the hell is going on!" Rosalie hollered from the hallway, seconds before appearing in the doorway. "You want to tell me what you did to Esme? She just waltzed out the door with a dead goat under her arm. Did you kill her goat?"
No one wanted to fess up to Rosalie, and we all just turned our heads to the floor.
"Well?" she asked, crossing her arms.
"Esme killed it," Emmett said.
Rosalie was baffled and demanded an explanation from him. We shared all that we knew with Alice and Rosalie, everything that had been going on in the last few weeks and about Carlisle's disappearance.
"Idiots! The lot of you," she hissed, looking at the two of us. "Come on, Alice, let's go find her." She motioned to Alice, and tucked her under her arm.
"Rosalie, I really think I should go," I disagreed.
"No. You've done enough damage. She doesn't need you two oafs, she needs us. You two, are going to figure out how to rectify what you've done, and what the next step is to getting us out of this, 'cause I've had enough of this godforsaken place." She turned Alice toward the door and they left us standing in the middle of the room in awe, watching their departure.
"Huh," Emmett said as he started to smile.
"What?"
"My Rosie's back." He nudged me, grinning widely.
.
WE HAD BEEN SITTING in the main area of the bunker for the past hour debating what needed to be done. The back and forth was wearing us all down, but I was doubly assaulted with their words and their thoughts. The lines had been clearly formed. Alice and Rosalie had managed to convince Esme to come back, but she was different. Hardened, and it was unnerving. The gentle, tender woman I considered my mother was gone, in her place stood a woman ready to do battle. She had been on a terror packing up anything we would be taking with us. She was ready to leave.
"We do it." Esme's voice was hard and clipped. Her first priority was the family. She no longer cared about righteousness. If there was any chance of helping Jasper, she was willing to try.
"We can't just kill somebody, hoping it snaps Jasper out of whatever is wrong with him," I said calmly.
With all the supplies we were taking, we quickly realized carrying Jasper was not an option. We needed him up on his own two feet, and now we were discussing how to get him there. I insisted he be included in the decision, so we had moved him to the hospital bed. His emotions were definitely not helping the discussion. His thirst was evident, as was his anger, grief, sorrow, pain. Every emotion swirled in the air. Which only compounded each of our own.
I was having a difficult time with everyone in my head. Emmett and Esme had already decided, regardless of the outcome of this discussion. Rosalie sat directly across from them, glaring. She, surprisingly, did not agree with their decision. Alice had yet to make up her mind. She only wanted what was best for Jasper, and was willing to try anything.
Don't let them do it, Jasper said silently. The look on his face conveyed everything to me. His cheeks were sunken in and he looked malnourished. The familiar bruises beneath his eyes were much more pronounced. He hadn't taken the news of Carlisle very well, and his suffering was evident.
"Jasper doesn't want this," I said on his behalf. "Doesn't that count for anything? You can't make him, and tempting him like this is cruel."
"Sorry, Jasper," Esme apologized, her tone warm again, "but I don't think you know what's best right now, honey. This is our best chance. You're weak, and starved. Human blood will give you the strength you need to get past this."
"How can you say that to him?" Rosalie snapped. "After all he's fought against to restrain himself, and you want to make him give that up? He won't get past it." Rosalie stood up and started pacing. "We aren't monsters. We'll never find a new place to live if we revert to those ways. We need a place to live, Esme."
"We'll figure something out," Esme said, as if it was no big deal.
"Not if we can't control ourselves. Carlisle instilled in—"
"Well, in case you hadn't noticed, Rosalie, he's not here. So everything he stands for? Doesn't apply in my book," Emmett interrupted.
"How can you say that? Just because he's gone, doesn't change who we are." Rosalie stopped her pacing to stare at her husband. She couldn't believe they were disagreeing over this. The whole family was split down the middle. "We still have to survive out there!" She waved her arms toward the metal door.
"It's a new world. New rules are going to apply," Esme said. "It's time for a change."
"What are you insinuating?" I said.
"Well, what's the point of restraint? We are who we are. There's no point denying it. If Carlisle thinks we're monsters, then let's be monsters." She shrugged her shoulders with indifference, but her thoughts were the complete opposite. It pained her greatly to speak this way.
I stood up from my chair, and was at her feet in an instant. "Esme, you don't believe that." I shook my head, bending down to place my hands on her knees.
Her jaw was tight as she glared at me. "Yes, I do."
"I will not allow this." I emphasized each word clearly, trying a different approach.
Her eyebrows shot up, not expecting me to go against her so emphatically. "We've all suffered enough. You've suffered, and I will do whatever it takes so Alice and Jasper don't have to live through that."
I was a little appalled at the tactic she was using with me, but understood. She was deeply wounded, and lashing out any way she could. "I'm not disputing that," I said more softly, "but there has to be another way." I was pleading for myself and Jasper, and maybe even Carlisle.
"Well, hotshot, until you figure that out, the plan stands." Emmett stood up, finalizing the conversation.
"We need to have a vote," I said, attempting one last chance at stopping this. "The family always votes on important decisions. And I say this is about as important as it gets."
.
I LEFT THE BUNKER. The vote was three to three, although Emmett argued that Jasper's vote didn't count, and Rosalie and I insisted it did. If anything, we should have been leaving the decision up to him. In the brief times he was lucid enough to speak to me, he had told me he wanted no part of what Emmett, Esme and Alice were suggesting. He was certain it might make things worse. Alice just wanted him to feed, without having to go to the extremes of breaking his jaw, so she was willing to try anything. Esme and Emmett were so angry at Carlisle, the idea of abandoning his ways was extremely appealing to them.
I didn't want to resort to the idea of using human blood as bait for Jasper. It was cruel and unnecessary. We had come too far to go backward. I needed to believe that we were not monsters, that what Carlisle had said was wrong. Bella had always believed I was not a monster, now I just needed to prove it to myself.
It would be so easy to slip into chaos. The world was calling for it, but if we took this step, where would our future lie? What or who would we become? There would always be some justification for the act, I would know, I had been there before. I had no intention of going back to the monster I once was. Bella had shown me I was more than just a killer. The lawlessness in the world didn't mean we had to succumb to it, we were better than that. Esme's judgment was clouded by her feelings of betrayal, Emmett's too. They were acting on impulse, not reason. I just needed to find Carlisle to make everything right for them again.
I was on my way to the hospital, a one last ditch effort, hoping he had returned. Today, as I walked past the wall, I noticed it had filled up with random names and dates, so I decided to take a closer look. A new message read, 'This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you,' and there were a few names written below with the dates of what I assumed to be a birth and a death on this earth.
Every day I walked past it, and never took the opportunity to really admire it. Today, I just stood there staring. It had grown into something truly remarkable. You could see the evolution of the wall written in every message of despair and hope, and now … acceptance. Before I even knew what I was doing, I picked up a piece of charcoal, and in the most elegant script I could manage with the bulky piece, I wrote:
'Isabella Marie Swan - September 13, 1987 to March 16, 2006.'
I dropped the charcoal at my feet, and softly traced the letters with my fingers. I let out a staggering breath knowing this was as close as I was going to get to a final goodbye. This wall would be our effigy.
Eventually I left the comfort of my wall, and continued on to the hospital. As I approached, the smell of acrid, burning rubber filled my senses, and I noticed a column of smoke up ahead. Something wasn't right. I honed in on random thoughts as I ran toward the smoke. The left side of the hospital, the only side that hadn't really been affected by the blasts, was up in flames. People were filing out of the hospital, coughing from the black billows of smoke. Their thoughts were terrified, overshadowing their screams. Moving closer, I found one of the nurses I was familiar with sitting on the ground, her scrubs covered in blood. The scent was a little overpowering even through the smells of the burning building, and I had to stop myself from breathing. She looked up when my shadow fell across her, and when she saw me she began to weep.
"They took it all," she cried. "All of it … they had guns …" She went to cover her mouth, but stopped once she saw the blood that caked her hands. "Why? Why would they do that?"
From what I could tell, the hospital had been attacked by some kind of marauders. They came in with guns blazing, and took all of the hospital's supplies, killing anyone who got in their way. There was nothing left, all the medicines, the food, the water, all gone. They could no longer operate as a functioning hospital. Before they left, they set the rooms on fire for no apparent reason, trapping anyone who couldn't move on their own. The screams and cries were all around us. My head pounded with the random, frantic thoughts.
The madness always followed chaos. When people are so far removed from society's mores and restrictions, it is only a matter of time before moral boundaries begin to fade. They lose sight of right and wrong, or good and evil—the words just become terms. I had seen it in parts of the world before, but now it was here. I was experiencing it firsthand, and there was nothing I could do about it. This was as unreal as everything else that had happened in the last few weeks. 'The rest of the world was nowhere. Gone, disappeared; swept off without leaving a whisper or a shadow behind.'
I backed away from the nurse, silently pleading my apologies, because I couldn't offer her any comfort. I was spent. In that instant, I realized I was nothing like these humans. This notion of humanity I so desperately clung to was false. There was nothing else in this whole world, but that truth. We needed to get out of this city. It was the only way our family was going to survive this madness. We couldn't wait for Carlisle to come around. With a heavy heart, I made the trek back to the bunker, trying to calm myself along the way so I wouldn't bring what I had witnessed back to my family.
As I turned the corner, to take one final glimpse at my wall, I heard catcalls and laughter, followed by a piercing scream.
"Don't!" a young woman yelled. She was being held with her hands behind her back, up against the wall by man dressed in tatters. He was covered in dirt and ash from head to toe, and even from where I stood, I could smell the human waste on his clothing. She was thrashing to get loose, while the man laughed and imitated everything she was saying.
In all the times I passed the wall, I had never run into anyone, which was part of the enchantment behind it, like the messages were appearing by divine will. Seeing people here, shattered the illusion, and I sunk back in the shadows to watch. The young woman continued to struggle to break free, her thoughts were pleading for help. The man's partner, an older woman, in the same sad state as him, was cackling in a high-pitched voice as her arm made giant round strokes on the wall. It took me a few seconds to realize what she was doing, and my grief and rage finally ran its course.
I leapt from the shadows, and was on the two vagrants in seconds. I held them both by the throat, up against my wall with their feet dangling in the air. They couldn't speak. They could barely breathe as they clawed at my arms. The young girl had fallen to the ground during my fury and sat there stunned, not knowing what had happened. None of them had seen me coming, and they were terrified by my rage, even the young girl. Her heart was pumping loudly, and I could smell the blood as it rushed through her veins. She was stuttering, trying to speak, deciding if she was grateful for my interference. She knew the two I held, and didn't actually wish to see them harmed.
"Go," I said through clenched teeth, my eyes never leaving the two who were seconds away from death.
The girl scrambled to her feet, falling a few times and scraping her hand on a cinder block. I smelled the blood instantly, and it set my senses blazing. Thirst burned through my throat like fire. My brain was a clouded mess of incoherent thought as I struggled to gain an ounce of control. I was a vampire, and this was what I was meant to do. These two were not innocent. It was only a matter of time before they upgraded their petty crimes to something more significant. I would be preventing that from happening. It was vindication.
The girl ran off, and I took a deep breath. I still smelled the blood, but now it was tainted by these two pathetic creatures and their filth. These would be justified deaths, I compromised with myself.
For one short second, I was able to think clearly. In that second, I saw two faces, side by side.
One was Carlisle, my creator, my mentor, my father in all ways that counted. In my head, I didn't care if he forgave me. I didn't want his forgiveness. He was gone, abandoned me and the rest of the family. He didn't care enough for me to worry about his judgment. I would prove him wrong, and a part of me was happy. This fact pleased me almost as much as the fire burning in my throat. I leaned closer to the two I held against the wall, taking another deep breath.
There was one other face which loomed in the shadows of my head. Bella. Why did I think of her now at a time like this? What would she think? Would I fail her if I did this?
I stopped myself for a moment, pausing and wondering if I could come back from this, and if I wanted to. There was nothing left to lose, I reasoned. It didn't matter. All this sacrifice and denial was for nothing. There was no reason to resist the calling. Seven decades without human blood, and I no longer had to fight against what I was. I, not the monster, rejoiced.
I slowly opened my eyes. The two were still struggling, gasping for air. My eyes focused straight ahead, and I saw her name written by my own hand. 'Isabella Marie Swan.' My breath caught in my throat. She was here … watching. What was I doing?
As I started to loosen the holds on their necks, my eyes caught site of a crude, graphic drawing right below her name, and I remembered the reason for my anger. These two cretins had defaced my beloved wall, and all that it represented. I roared, slamming the two up against the wall again. The bricks crushed beneath them as they blacked out. Maybe I couldn't kill these two, but they would still serve a purpose.
I HELD THE TWO by their necks again, my arms outstretched as I stood in the middle of the bunker. Sacrificial lambs to the slaughter. My anger knew no bounds. My rage had taken over. I was angry at Charlie for letting Bella leave; at Victoria and James and why they couldn't have left us alone; Carlisle for abandoning me; Esme and Emmett for making me do something I didn't want to do; Rosalie for questioning what I was about to do; Jasper for giving up, and Alice for letting him. I was angry at Bella for dying.
All of that didn't compare to the wrath I felt for myself. Bella was dead because I wasn't strong enough to love her. I never accepted that she had loved me in return.
Every emotion I'd felt in the last seven months since I left her in the woods, flooded my body. My head snapped around to Jasper lying on the bed. He was using every ounce of energy he had to project my feelings back at me, trying to reach my human side that had been left behind back at my wall.
A feral snarl crossed my lips, proving to him it wasn't going to work. "Is this what you wanted?" I stalked toward Esme and Emmett sitting on the couch. "Will this do?" I hissed at them.
"Edward! Let them go," Rosalie cried. "You're better than this."
"There's nothing left but this! What's the point anymore?" The humans had started coming to. Their terrified eyes glanced around the room, wondering if this was a nightmare. "It's worse than any nightmare. Monsters do exist." I shook them forcefully, their eyes rolling back in their heads.
Rising warily from the sofa, Esme caressed my arm. You can put them down, Edward. They can't go anywhere. I held her gaze for a moment more, and then she turned to Emmett. "Help him, please?"
"I can't believe you are going to go through with this! You don't know what you're doing!" Rosalie yelled. "Emmett, I will never forgive you for this." She ran down the hall, back toward the animal stalls.
"How are we going to do this?" Emmett asked.
"What is Jasper thinking?" Esme asked me.
Alice had moved closer to Jasper, who was obviously battling his thirst. He didn't want to do this, but he couldn't deny the dry ache in his throat. If he wasn't so crippled by his emotions, in his state he would have been extremely dangerous. His eyes were black and his mind was filled with shame at his weakness as he struggled to move across the bed. As his thirst started to build, it had its own effect on the rest of us. Alice licked her lips in anticipation, her eyes darkened with hunger too.
"He's struggling. He wants the blood, but doesn't know if he can."
Alice jumped up on to the bed. "Jasper, honey, you can do this. This is all I'm asking," she pleaded. She gently held his chin wincing slightly at the contact. Turning his face to her, she whispered, "I know it's painful, but this has to end now. You're keeping me waiting again, and you know how I hate that. You're not getting out of eternity with me. Okay, baby? I need you. Please do this for me." She kissed him softly on the lips. "Come back to me."
Jasper closed his eyes, burdened by his failings. "Okay." He said it so quietly, I wasn't sure he had spoke out loud. Alice flung her arms around him, peppering his face with kisses.
"I say we bleed them," Emmett stated simply.
I had set the humans down, and they were huddled together on the floor, whimpering at Emmett's suggestion. The man began to protest.
"Please, please … just let us go. We didn't mean it. We're sorry," he begged, choking on his tears. The woman was now sobbing, desperately clinging to the man. Her wails became louder and it was reverberating off the walls, causing my head to pound.
"If we bleed them, Jasper's senses should take over." Esme offered, ignoring the humans.
"Wh-what are you?" the male asked. "Are you going to … to eat us? We have food, back at our place. You can have it all. Please, just let us go."
The girl continued to scream hysterically, grabbing Esme by the thighs, begging her to let her go. Seizing the opportunity of the distraction, the man ran for the door, but I was in front him before he was even fully standing. My instincts took over as I grabbed the man by the hair, dragging him toward the bed. I could hear the blood pumping through his veins. I smelled it, and with Jasper's hunger it was double the thirst. He was imagining how the hot flow of the man's pulse beneath his skin would feel against his lips…
Before I knew what I was doing, the rush of warm heaven filled my mouth. My eyes rolled back in my head, reveling in the ecstasy I was feeling. The liquid soothed my itching thirst while I drank in an eager rush. The blood radiated throughout my whole body, causing a warmth I hadn't felt in decades. I was struggling to stop, knowing I couldn't drain the man dry. As much as the predator inside of me wanted this, this was for Jasper, not for me. With every ounce of willpower I could muster, I released the man, offering him to Jasper.
The woman's screams were deafening now, and my head continued to pound with every one of her cries. It was all so chaotic and wrong, but I felt alive. The blood was streaming from the wound in the man's neck, and Jasper's eyes were bright and eager from the smell. My venom had entered the man's blood stream and I knew from his thoughts the burning had begun. His neck was strained, the veins popping out as he struggled against the flames.
"Hurry, Jasper," I said, licking my lips.
"Edward!" a voice gasped from behind us.
The sound of the voice startled me, causing me to drop the body at my feet. I wiped my mouth on my sleeve as I slowly turned around. My eyes zeroed in on a horrified Carlisle standing in the doorway to the bunker.
"What have you done?"
2016 -:- Present Day
As dawn approached the morning of the festival, I couldn't help reflecting back to one of our darkest times. We had come so far in the last ten years. Things were so different, almost normal, human.
Our house was a whirlwind of activity while we loaded the last of the supplies in the vehicles. Most of the stuff had already been delivered to the compound, but the items Alice wanted to leave as a surprise, were coming with us today. Food that required refrigeration was also left until the last minute, along with the generators we had been using in the last few days for our preparations.
We couldn't help but stop to admire the sun coming up over the hill, turning the sky pink as it rose. A little ray of sunlight reached through the trees and met Alice's face. Her skin sparkled as it was accustomed to do in the sunlight. She gasped, pointing at the sparkles on my skin that matched her own.
"No. No. No … NO!" she said panicking. "It's been rainy and cloudy everyday for two weeks! And today, the sun decides to shine!" She was absolutely crushed. She had wanted to spend the night at the compound, working straight through, but Carlisle had insisted we all come home for this very reason. Each day that dawn broke was always a wait in anticipation for what kind of day it would be and whether or not we could visit the people of Forks and La Push. So far, we had been extremely lucky.
"What do we do? We have to go! We have all this stuff for the morning." She was pacing around the Humvee, her head filled with all kinds of scenarios, most of them involving head to toe costumes, like turkeys or pumpkins.
"There is no way I am doing that, Alice, so you can forget it."
"Doing what?" Emmett asked, as he pushed a sack of coffee beans into the back of the Humvee.
I pointed to his exposed skin. "Alice is thinking of costumes for all of us. I must admit, you as a turkey, Emmett, is quite amusing."
"What's amusing?" Kate and Irina asked, now joining us around the vehicles. I explained the predicament, and everyone was laughing at the situation, because there really wasn't anything else we could do.
"It's not funny!" Alice pouted. "We've worked so hard."
By this point, the eleven of us were outside surrounding the vehicles. Alice's defeated little form was backed up against one of the Humvees.
"Mi pequeñita," Eleazar spoke up as he put his arm around her, "some say the vampire has been around as long as the sun. In fact, many believe the sun loves the vampire so much, he bestowed this gift of," he touched her cheek, "diamonds to us. We must have faith, querida. He will not let us down today."
"I didn't see this coming," she said heartbroken. "I've been right about so many things, how could I not sense this?"
"You're gift will come back, it is still there. But today," Eleazar lifted her chin directing her to look west, "it is as I said. He would not let us down, not on a day like today." A huge grin exploded on to Alice's face as she watched the clouds begin to roll in from the direction of the coast.
The eleven of us stood in a staggered line, watching the clouds, and although the people at the compound where probably cursing the clouds, we were praising them, and all that they stood for. They protected our identity, let us walk amongst the humans as one of them, but to Alice, it meant a little salvation from the dreary existence we had been living for the past decade. Each of us stood silent for a moment, wondering what we could expect from the day ahead of us. Their thoughts were a mix of blessings and excitement. No matter what happened today, it was a celebration ten years in the making, for everyone, human and vampire alike. The Denali coven was our family, just as we had come to consider many of the people in the compound as well.
I felt Esme's arm slip through my own, as she did the same with Carlisle, who in turn, grabbed Rosalie, who turned to Emmett. The embraces went down the line, until everyone in our family was intertwined in some way connected to one another. Eleven vampires encircled around each other, sparkling in the morning sunlight, standing in front of military grade Humvees that had seen better days, in a forest that had been ravaged by nuclear war. It must have been some sight to see. As the clouds moved in and our skin was camouflaged once again, Alice whispered three little words, "We did it."
.
WE ARRIVED AT THE compound, just as people were starting to move about. Of course the children had been waiting at the top of the hill just inside of the gate, hoping to catch the first glance of our caravan. They ran behind us yelling as Carlisle slowly drove the lead vehicle toward the hangar. Charlie, and the Clearwaters were waiting to welcome us, as were many others. They looked tired, yet energized at the same time if that was possible.
The majority of the daytime activities were set up on the old runways, leaving the evening's activities, such as the dance floor and stage in the center of the compound near the school. The decorations in the daylight were absolutely stunning. The women had really outdone themselves. Corn stalks, colorful leaves and pumpkins—a few of them still a bit green—covered every post in the compound. They had even managed to make some crude hay bales which were placed strategically in locations to be used as benches. It was everything a harvest festival should entail. Everything was either handcrafted or grown, and it was more than anyone would ever have expected.
We had started unpacking the vehicles. Carmen asked Eleazar to pull out the sack of coffee beans first. She hesitantly approached Charlie and Sue asking them for a moment of their time.
"My family tells me you have been out of coffee for some time," Carmen said affectionately.
Charlie had a look of surprise on his face, not sure of what to say to her. It had been about five years since any of them had remembered what coffee tasted like. They had been making do with a crude version of tea from local plants. He scratched his head. "Ah, yeah, I guess you could say that. I've kind of forgotten about it," he said chuckling, as he rubbed his chin.
"Well, we do not have a propensity for it, and would like you to have this as a gift for your hospitality." Eleazar placed the large bag in front of Sue and Charlie, and as the bag hit the ground, the aroma of coffee beans stirred in the air. Charlie closed his eyes breathing deeply, and a look of euphoria crossed his face.
As much as he wanted the coffee, he knew exactly how much that bag of beans could fetch in another district. He wasn't about to accept it for his hospitality, which to him, was just something that he deemed as human nature, nothing more than any decent person would do. He didn't realize just how rare he and this settlement really were.
Eleazar looked over at me, as he listened to Charlie protest. This is a good man. He would make a fine vampire. I could only glower in response to his thoughts.
"Charlie, they really wanted to do this. Please take it, because if you don't, Carmen's likely to waste it on the wildlife," I said as she nodded, agreeing with me.
"Sí guapo … it's true! Do not test me! Besides, it will be needed for a crisp day like today."
Seth stepped forward. "I'll take it!" he volunteered. "Lighten up, Charlie. You're a cop. You can't tell me you're not dying for a taste. Too bad mom didn't make any donuts," he said, poking Charlie in the stomach.
That earned Seth a cuff to the ear, as Charlie mumbled something that sounded like smartass.
The day went off without a hitch. Even despite the weather, which had turned a bit cold, everyone was in great spirits as people socialized and competed throughout the day. A lot of that had to do with the coffee and the homemade 'spirits' they had poured into their mugs, but it was a marvelous day filled with many highs.
Things had started to wrap up after dinner. The wolves had been hunting earlier in the week, and provided a couple of feral hogs for roasting. From what everyone said, they were delicious. We all tried a bit of everything, but we couldn't distinguish between good or bad, it all tasted disgusting. The only hiccup in my day was a brief encounter with Paul, a member of the wolf pack. It was an unexpected run in, but we managed to maintain our composures under watchful eyes. I asked him to relay a message to Jacob that I wished to speak to him, and he reluctantly agreed to pass on my message. All in all, it couldn't have been a better day.
Rosalie and Mike's play with the children had just finished. It was a huge success, providing us with a little comic relief to the day, as things inevitably went wrong with children and live audiences. But everyone was proud nonetheless.
"If I could have everyone's attention," Mike Newton's voice rang out over the microphone. "Hello?" he asked again as people continued to ignore him and carry on with their conversations. "Can I have … hello?" he whined a little.
Charlie stepped up on stage and let out a huge high-pitched whistle. "Hey! Listen up!" he yelled and immediately the crowd was silent. He looked over at Mike and gave him a quick wink and jumped down off the stage.
Mike, with his head down, mumbled an embarrassed thank you, and stepped closer to the front of the stage. "We have a few things we want to take care of before we continue the festivities." He cleared his throat as he took a piece of paper out of his pocket. "The chief wanted me to remind you that under no circumstances are you to be using the south lot anymore for composting. We have a new one set up, and some of you," he looked over at Jessica Stanley and her mother, "are still using the old one."
Jessica blushed while her mother's mouth dropped open in exclamation about to object, but Jessica grabbed her mother's arm signaling her to keep quiet.
Mike continued to recite a list of reminders, and while there were grumbles of protest at the new rules, others nodded in agreement. I sat with my family off to the side at the back, with Tanya's family behind us. We were not a part of this, so we tried to stay out of the way as much as possible. This was their community and we were outsiders.
Mike finally wrapped up and put his list back in his pocket. "Thank you all for being patient. Now that the boring stuff is out of the way," he smiled at the crowd, "we can get on with the celebrations and the awards! It's been a truly amazing day, filled with so many memorable moments, but I definitely think the highlight of the day was the corn on the cob eating contest." He turned to Seth. "You gave a good run, Seth, but everyone knows you can't compete with a Cullen." Mike's gaze briefly glanced my way, his thoughts only slightly sour, before he focused in on Emmett. "Emmett, would you come on up and get your ribbon!" There were shouts and cheers as people clapped for Emmett, while he walked up to claim his prize, a simple homemade blue ribbon. Emmett held it triumphantly over his head, elated that he had actually won something. He never had an opportunity to win anything. We participated in things over the years, but we never tried to win. We clearly had the advantage in most things, and we knew it wasn't fair. Apart from Emmett's razor-sharp teeth, he truly was disadvantaged in this challenge. The win was definitely bittersweet. His body had paid for the win and then some, so that ribbon meant everything to him.
Alice and I couldn't stop giggling at his victory, and Rosalie continued to glare at the fool on stage, pretending to be annoyed, but I saw the corner of her mouth turn up as she tried to stifle her smile. One of us actually won something, and leave it to Emmett to be a contest for eating human food.
"Jasper would have loved this," Alice said to me. I nodded, grabbing her hand giving it a gentle squeeze. She leaned her head on my shoulder, and I put my arm around her instead.
"He would," I whispered, "and maybe it'd be him up there instead of Emmett. You know he can't back down from a challenge from that meathead." I laughed at the idea of Jasper and Emmett battling it out over corn on the cob. "We should have waited for him," I said sadly, pulling her closer to me.
"There'll be others," she replied confidently looking up at me.
"Oh, really? Is this psychic Alice foretelling or being optimistic?"
"Both!" She laughed, breaking free from me and ran up to hug Emmett as he strutted over to us. "Congratulations!" He picked her up, and swung her around, placing her over his shoulder. "Emmett! Put me down!" she yelled.
"No way! I heard you two and there's no way Jasper would have been able to beat this." He patted his stomach, and spun her around again as Alice continued to shriek.
Rosalie had moved from Esme's side, and was now standing next to me with her arms crossed. She was trying so hard to pretend. "Emmett," she sighed.
"Give it a rest," I laughed, "you're not fooling anyone." I winked which only caused a scowl from her.
Emmett smacked Alice's behind before placing her back on her feet. "Come on, Rose, I did it all for you!" He held out the blue ribbon as an offering, inching his way closer to her, a wry smirk playing out on his face. We had gathered a little bit of a crowd now, and some of Rosalie's students were inching their way closer. Many of the young children had been fascinated with Emmett's size and booming voice and a few were still terrified of him. But seeing him in this light, playful and at ease, gave a few of them the extra courage to come a little closer. Rosalie stood there, arms still crossed, her mind trying to decide what to do with him, when a little girl yelled out.
"Kiss him, Miss Rosalie!"
The crowd erupted in laughter, Rosalie included, and before she could protest, Emmett had her in his arms, and planted a big kiss on her lips. Everyone cheered with delight, their thoughts filled with the notion of "young love."
Mike continued to hand out ribbons for all kinds of things, from pie baking to arm wrestling to log throwing. The day's events were packed with events that almost everyone could participate in. Even us.
"Now, before we kick off this evening's festivities, I'm going to hand it over to the Chief." I smiled to myself knowing what this was about. I only found out about it a few days ago, and it had been hard to keep it a secret from everyone, especially Carlisle, but from what I could tell, he was unsuspecting of what was to come.
Charlie walked up on stage and grabbed the microphone from Mike, smiling at the crowd. He tapped the end of it and said, "Do I even need this?" He waved it about and was met with shouts of 'yes' across the crowd. "Okay, then." He raised his eyebrows a few times, which caused the kids in the audience to laugh. "I'm not so good at these kinds of things, so I'll cut to the chase. It's been a long time since any one of us has celebrated anything just for the sake of celebrating. None of this … and I mean none of this … would be possible without the Cullens. Particularly Alice Cullen." He gave her quick smile, and he hesitated for a moment, trying to collect himself. "Alice," his voice cracked, "you've given us our laughter back. Gave us a purpose again, and we'll be forever grateful. We have a little something for you, it's not much, but your father told me you're a girl who loves her jewelry. Some of the ladies got together and handcrafted something for you." He motioned Alice to come up on stage, as Sue carried a small, wooden box in her hands toward them.
Alice looked up at me completely surprised, and I couldn't help but laugh. Even after all these years, she hadn't accepted the idea that someone could do something for her without her knowing about it.
"Go on, you'll love it. I promise," I whispered.
The women had made Alice a necklace. It was a plain, long silver chain that held an intricate pendant, housing a fairly large stone the size of a cherry. The setting was stunning, with thin silver wrapping around it, encasing the gem, like it was protecting it.
Charlie held it up for her. "May I?" he asked as he undid the clasp. She turned her back to him, allowing him to place it around her neck, while she marveled the stone. Her hand softly touched it as it nestled just above her breast bone.
Charlie leaned down and whispered in her ear, "The gemstone is jasper. It's found around these parts. They had a heck of a time trying to find it, but I think they managed well enough." He winked at Alice giving her his wide grin that he only reserved for her.
Alice was completely stunned, and for the first time in a long time she was truly touched beyond words. She stood in front of Charlie, not moving, and the crowd fell silent, waiting for her to react.
Sue stepped up to explain, trying to bridge the silence. "It's just … we know it can't be easy for you … and we wanted a way for him to be here with you…" she trailed off, second guessing the idea for the necklace. "If you don't like it, we—"
Alice launched herself at the two of them, almost causing them to topple over. She held them firmly, telling them, "Thank you," over and over again. "It's the most precious thing anyone's ever given me."
"Well, you're pretty precious to us, Alice." Charlie released her, and cupped her cheek with his hand. "Now, go on, no one wants to see an old man cry." He gently pushed her toward the edge of the stage, closer to the stairs. Alice slowly descended, never taking her eyes off the gemstone. Hearing her thoughts, I could tell that she hadn't expected this, and her little heart was wrought with emotion.
I placed my arm around her again, and held her tightly to me for fear her legs would give out. But if anything, I think the necklace did the opposite. It gave her courage, like her own talisman. She was ready to face whatever was coming her way.
"If you think that was good, you should see what they have in store for Esme and Carlisle," I said chuckling while I rubbed her arm.
"Okay, folks! One last thing. I know most of you have been itching for me to get to this. I want to thank each and every one of you for contributing and making this happen, and more importantly for keeping it a secret!" The crowd laughed, and people started to shift a little closer to the stage.
"Angela?" Charlie shielded his eyes as he scanned the crowd. "You and that husband of yours, ready?" Angela and Ben walked up on stage. Ben was holding baby Caroline, or Izzie as he called her, while Angela was carrying a small wooden plaque in her hands. "Esme, Dr. Cullen, would you come on up here too, please?" Carlisle and Esme were standing just behind us, and Esme's thoughts immediately turned to surprise and embarrassment when Charlie mentioned her name. Esme was never one to be the center of attention and the idea of standing up on stage in front of everyone was terrifying to her. With a little coaxing from the family and the crowd, Carlisle reluctantly dragged her up to stand beside Charlie and the others.
Angela cleared her throat before she began to speak. "We wanted to take this opportunity to officially welcome you to our community." She turned the piece of wood to reveal a simple, yet elegant, hand-painted sign with the name 'Cullen' on it.
Esme accepted the gift, passing it to Carlisle as they both studied it. They were a little perplexed at the gift, but Esme hugged Angela and thanked her for the sign nonetheless.
"Now," Charlie began, turning his attention to Carlisle, "I know you have that beautiful, big old house on the outskirts of Forks that Esme adores, and you have no intention of giving it up. But it seems silly to have to travel back and forth so often, when you spend so much time in the clinic. And staying in the clinic is not great at the best of times." This elicited some chuckles and guffaws from the crowd and a few catcalls about the hospitality in the bunker. "It's such a long drive, and we know how much you don't like to be away from Esme. We want you and your family to have a place to … er … 'hang your hat' while you're here." Esme placed her hands over her mouth and gasped. "We don't have keys in this place, but consider this," he pointed to the sign, "as keys to your new house." The crowd erupted in claps and cheers, as Esme turned her head into Carlisle's shoulder. "Everyone pitched in. It's nothing fancy, but it's yours to do what you like with it."
Alice was squeezing my side so hard, I actually winced, and had to pry her fingers from my body. In all our years together as a family, we had never truly been accepted anywhere. We were sociable enough, but were always on the outskirts, always carefully guarded and kept everyone at a safe distance. Emmett had Rosalie tucked into his side as well, as she tried to hide her emotions. He looked at me over the top of her head, and his face was a blank canvas.
This is either a blessing or a curse, he said silently and I automatically stiffened knowing he was right. I had been struggling with this for the last few days when I had learned about the house accidentally. I should have told the family so they would be expecting it, but a part of me wanted to see that look of surprise on their faces. I wanted to experience that, and convinced myself that I had been over-reacting. But hearing Emmett's concerns mirroring my own, I began to worry again.
The people of Forks and La Push had given my family a house, accepted them as one of their own in their community, but it was an acceptance based on lies. What would happen if the truth came out? How would the family survive that kind of rejection after all this? There was a reason why we didn't get emotionally attached to places or people. We were never around long enough to warrant that kind of emotion.
Please, just enjoy this. Alice said, looking up at me. We can worry about things later. Tonight, let's just be happy.
"You're absolutely right," I said quietly, kissing the top of her head.
We watched as Carlisle and Esme thanked everyone. Esme kept her head down, to feign her lack of tears, but I knew she was crying in her own way.
Charlie passed the microphone to Carlisle, and he cleared his throat a little before thanking everyone for the generous gift.
"I think you have it all wrong though, we should be the ones to thank you. You've done nothing but open your homes and welcome us into your lives. We've traveled a lot of places, and nothing can compare to what you've accomplished here. But there is one little thing that we've noticed you've been lacking." Carlisle smiled a little, and the crowd's murmurs increased as he looked over at Charlie for approval on what he was about to say. Charlie chuckled, nodding a yes.
"If we're going to stay here, I refuse to live in a community called 'the compound.' You folks need a name!" he said, laughing. "This is a proper settlement, and deserves a proper name. I've discussed this with Charlie, and we think it calls for a contest, complete with a prize for the person who comes up with the best name."
"What's the prize?" A male's voice called from the crowd, which was followed by, "How much time do we have?"
"Well, you know my family has a few resources at our disposal. All I can say is that you won't be disappointed. And as for time? I think," he looked back to Sue and Charlie again, "a few weeks?"
Immediately, the minds in the audience started filling with potential names and I couldn't help but laugh at some of the choices. Most of them involved someone's name in some form or another. Not to mention the images of some of the prizes they were conjuring up. A few of them had to do with Tanya and her sisters.
"You knew about this didn't you, Alice?" She nodded, relishing the fact she had known something that I didn't. "Thanks, the visuals are … entertaining. A little heads up would have been nice."
"I could say the same to you," she said, holding her necklace and gently sliding the pendant back and forth along the silver chain.
"Alright, folks! Let's get the celebrations underway!" Charlie yelled, as the music started to play, and everyone hollered in agreement.
The evening was well under way. The music was loud and jovial, and the alcohol was flowing. I had finally gotten a moment to myself and stood off to the side of the dance floor in the shadows. I was happy to be here. It wasn't that I was trying to avoid everyone, but for the most part, people were paired off and it was always difficult to feel included. I had been so used to it in the past. I spent ninety years, experiencing it, but having tasted what it felt like to have a partner—even if for a brief moment—the pairings were that much harder to take now.
I heard her before I saw her, and I appreciated her attempt at including me, but I really wanted to be left alone.
"Edward? Will you dance with me?" Leah asked timidly from behind me. She was nervous as she looked around for Jacob or any of his friends. He was on the other side of the dance floor, arms crossed. He was watching our interaction intently.
I smiled but declined. "Thank you for the offer, Leah, but I'm not sure that will go down so well with your protector over there." I nodded my head in his direction. Knowing how Jacob felt about Leah, dancing with her was not exactly on the top of my list on how to make amends with him.
"Who, Jake? Please! Hopefully he'll think of it as healthy competition and get off his ass for a change." She rolled her eyes, and I realized that she felt as strongly toward him as he did her.
"I appreciate it, I do, but you of all people know Jacob and I aren't exactly on the best of terms. Dancing with you will definitely make that worse." She looked sad for a moment. Her head went down to her shoes, while she smoothed her dress. Alice and Rosalie had given her some clothes they had tucked away. Leah was in between their sizes, but with a few alterations, they found a dress that complimented her nicely. "You look really nice tonight, Leah." I could sense the doubt in her head, she hadn't worn a dress in years and she was feeling a little uncomfortable. "He cares about you," I said quietly. "And he'd be crazy not to notice you tonight. You don't need me to make that happen."
She raised her head, there was a slight twinkle in her eye and a little smirk played out on her lips. "But this would be much more fun, don't you think? What the idiot needs is a swift kick in the ass!" I choked on my laughter, as she continued. "I've known him for a long time. He's a good man, he'll come around. He just doesn't handle change so well." I knew she was referring to me and him, and not her own situation.
"So I've been told." I rocked forward on the balls of my feet, my hands clamped behind my back. I stole a glance in Jacob's direction.
Rumor has it you want to talk to me. I heard Jacob's thoughts across the dance floor. I could easily tell my proximity to Leah was causing him some distress. I was impressed he had managed to maintain some self-control. Although I was sure it had more to do with Leah and the brow-beating he would get from her if he had interfered. So instead of pushing my luck, I figured I would take advantage of his restraint and carry on the discussion I had been putting off.
"Speaking of which, I do need to speak to him in regards to a few things. Now seems like as good as time as any. Will you excuse me?" I said, asking her for her leave.
"Do you want me to alert the cavalry? Have them standing by?" she joked.
"I think we should be okay. Too many witnesses. Besides, this is hardly fighting music." I gave her a big grin and pointed up at the stage where a few men had now gathered. They were switching gears and playing some music with a bit of a classical twist.
"Thank you, Edward for…" She bobbed her head from side to side, embarrassed to finish the rest. I liked this side of Leah. It was nice to see, and I couldn't help but compare her traits to those of Rosalie. Both so hard on the outside, but inside they were just as insecure as the rest of us.
"Anytime." I touched her shoulder, as I moved to walk in Jacob's direction. "Thank you for the offer," I said over my shoulder, winking a quick goodbye.
I took a deep breath knowing I was about to make a 'deal with the devil.' I could feel many eyes on me and the direction I was heading. My family's thoughts rang clear in my head as they asked what I was doing and worried about my intentions. Perhaps now wasn't the best time to have this conversation with all eyes and ears on me. As I second guessed my decision, I was stopped by a seductive voice behind me.
"May I have this dance?"
I groaned as I turned to see Tanya standing with a devilish look on her face. I would have been a fool not to notice how beautiful she looked tonight. I couldn't exactly ignore it when half the men's minds in the compound reminded me every time Tanya moved, or talked or laughed. She truly was a succubus in every sense. I'd never had the opportunity to be around her with so many humans nearby. It was something to see, her with her sisters as they captivated everyone around them. Everyone except me.
"Oh, relax! I won't bite. I tease because you're easy to tease, Edward. You really need to lighten up. God forbid I'd be able to seduce you!" She laughed wickedly.
I started to turn away, I wasn't about to be patronized by her, but I felt her steel grip on my arm.
"Please," she whispered. "I didn't mean it." Her thoughts expressed her apology, and she pleaded, asking I take a few moments to dance with her.
I nodded reluctantly, while every fiber of my being screamed against it, but I still noticed the eyes watching us, and I didn't want to make a scene any more than I already had. She did me a favor and kept her thoughts to the happenings around us as we danced in silence. I kept a respectable distance between the two of us, but I couldn't help twirl her around the dance floor with ease. I was a good dancer and it just came natural despite the discomfort I felt with Tanya in my arms.
"You're very lucky, Edward," she said softly, as she looked around at the people dancing and laughing and enjoying each other's company. "I know you don't want to admit it, but you have everything here."
"That's where you're wrong."
"No, I'm not." I went to move away from her, but she gripped me tightly. Don't. Hear me out, please. She looked at me pleadingly as I tensed my jaw, my nostrils flaring in anger. "You have a community that accepts you—"
"Built on lies."
"Regardless, they still accept you. You have friends, which is more than you can say when she was alive."
"Don't. You have no right," I said in a low threatening voice. "You can't possibly comprehend—"
"You're right. I can't understand what you're going through. I can only tell you what I went through." Her voice had turned gentle, the abrasiveness gone. "I know you've heard the lectures from just about everyone, and everyone telling you how they want you around, but they don't know what it's like. I'm not here to lecture or offer advice, just hear my story and make up your own mind." She raised her eyebrows, silently asking to continue. "Did you know I was in love once? Did Carlisle ever tell you? Of course not," she said more to herself, "he wouldn't. It was before your time, long before Carlisle's too. I was in love with a human. And he loved me." I registered what she was telling me, and I couldn't help the shock that crossed my face.
"He never told me," I said truthfully.
"Well, Carlisle's always been too much of a gentleman to share other people's miseries." She smiled sadly at me. "Things were much different back then, much more demure. It was somewhat easier to hide what we were. But I loved him as you loved her." She was telling me the truth. She let me in to that part of her that kept the pain hidden, locked away. It was a side of Tanya I had never known.
"What happened," I managed to choke out, sincerely interested even though I could guess where this story was going.
She took a deep breath and instead of telling me, she showed me, because her pain was too great to speak of it. I saw the fights between Irina, Kate and Tanya. Irina wanted to kill the human, and Kate wanted to turn him. They were still recovering from their mother's death, so times were strained between all of them, and it tore their family apart, until eventually Tanya knew she had to tell her lover the truth about what she really was. To him, it didn't matter and he made the decision to be with her for eternity. The night she had planned to turn him, she waited patiently for him to come. Day after day, she waited, until one day, news of his death had finally reached her. Her lover's body was found floating in the Moskva River.
"I've been there, Edward. I do know, and yet I'm still here," she said.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"I know you didn't, and I wanted to tell you myself, because I'm proof that life does go on. It took me many, many years to get over him." I wondered about the circumstances of his death, and it must have shown on my face, because she responded right away. "I know what you're thinking, but I refuse to believe either of my sisters played a part in his death. It's been centuries, and whether they did or didn't doesn't change anything. I'm still here because of them. Their love got me through the darkest time in my existence.
"It gets better." She placed her hand over my heart. "You will heal. It is possible. You'll never forget. You'll carry it always." It's the vampire way. "But one day the sun will rise and you will feel a little less sorrow. And each day it becomes a little more bearable, Edward. Just remember that, please?" She leaned up and kissed me on the cheek. "You honor her every day by surviving. This community you built is for her, and they love you too. Your time on this earth is not finished." She placed a hand on my cheek and I leaned into it and closed my eyes. You are not the lion.
My eyes snapped open at her last thought, but she was gone, vanished, and I was left standing in the middle of the dance floor alone. You are not the lion. I had forgotten Emmett and I had shared that story with their family all those years ago. Odd that it was only days ago I had been thinking about that lion again. Was I the lion? Had I enough of this world?
A hand was tenderly placed in my own, and the familiar smell of lavender and vanilla filled my senses. Are you okay? Tanya giving you a hard time? Esme looked up at me and smiled.
I smiled back. "Quite the opposite, actually."
"I was hoping you would dance with me. It's been too long."
"Absolutely," I said, as I casually dipped her, causing her to squeal in delight. As I directed us around the dance floor, swaying to the beats, Esme laughed and it was musical in its own way. But I couldn't stop thinking about Tanya's story and her last words. For the first time in a long time, I was possibly realizing that maybe I wasn't really the lion.
.
IT WAS CLOSING IN on midnight, which was the time Charlie had planned the vigil for Bella. I wasn't keen on this in the slightest, and I was still imagining ways of avoiding the whole ordeal. I had made a promise to him though, so I kept trying to convince myself that I could do this.
I was flanked by Carlisle, who just stood silently beside me, like he was trying to protect me from it. He was letting me know he was here, and wasn't going anywhere, but his silence was actually making it worse. I needed a distraction.
"Nice stunt you pulled. The Tanya diversion," I said in a clipped voice.
"I have no idea what you are referring to." He smiled, his tone innocent.
"Mmhmm. You knew I was going to talk to Jacob."
"I merely suggested to Tanya that she ask you to dance. You know, take your mind off things." I turned to look at him, and he had a small grin on his face that was all knowing. "Did it work?"
"Funny."
"Tonight is not about brokering deals, Edward. You just needed a little nudge to be reminded. You'll be happy to know, Billy did the same with Jacob."
I had noticed Leah and Jacob on the dance floor while I was dancing with Tanya. "You two are worse than old women. I would've expected it from Esme, or Alice, but not you."
"What can I say? People change."
That they do, I thought to myself. Carlisle was proof of that. I appreciated what everyone had been trying to do. I did. For the past few weeks they had been offering their advice and wisdom about life and living. I knew they were trying to sway my decision, but none of it had hit home, at least not until this evening. It had been a little more bearable, I had to admit. I found myself laughing more today than I had in the last ten years. It was words from the person I least expected that had started to hit home. You are not the lion. Maybe she was right. Was I defeated? Emasculated as that lion who begged for its own death? That was the question that had been playing over and over in my head. Perhaps I once was, but as I stood here ready to say goodbye to the one person that had brought me peace in my life, I started to doubt everything. My motivations for the last ten years, my plans, the family, even my memories of Bella, it all felt so distant, like it never happened. Like it was wrong. Completely, unquestionably and irrevocably wrong.
"Are you ready for this?" Carlisle whispered.
"No," I said truthfully, my voice was panicked. I wasn't ready, I finished silently. I was sick and tired of people telling me what I should do or how I should feel. I wanted to be selfish for once. I wanted it all, what everyone else had, and if I couldn't have it all, I wanted nothing. This … was not what I wanted.
As people gathered around with lanterns in their hands, I could feel my family and friends silently surround me, almost creating a blanket of thoughts based on sorrow and grief. I tried to take a few breaths to calm myself, wishing for Jasper's talent right at that moment. This wasn't what I wanted, this was wrong. Couldn't they see that?
"Carlisle…" my voice cracked, "this isn't right."
Everyone moved a little closer to me, their pitied thoughts were almost bitter to me, making me furious. As Alice and Charlie slowly walked up on stage, the music changed to a song I quickly recognized, and instead of soothing me, it did quite the opposite.
"Whose idea was this?" I snapped, as notes from a piano started playing across the speakers. Hands were gently placed on my shoulders, and I shrugged them off angrily, striding toward the stage. In one quick movement, I jumped up on stage grabbing Alice by the forearms giving her a shake as I demanded to know if it was her idea to play the lullaby.
"Edward! Son, put her down!" Charlie yelled at me as he tried to stop me.
It all happened so fast, that no one even knew what was happening. Alice's eyes were frantic, as she searched mine, apologizing in her head for taking the CD, thinking it would offer some comfort. I was seething at her betrayal, and wanted to inflict pain on her as she had done to me. I tightened my grip on her arms, while she cried out but did nothing to stop me. I was inside her head now, listening to her confession as she laid it all out for me. What she had done was inexcusable, and I would never forgive her. Not for this. Our connection was strong, so when the vision hit, it came with such force, we were both knocked to our knees, cringing at the pain.
I could hear everyone's gasps around us as they watched us writhing in pain while the vision continued to assault us. It had been so long since we had felt the intensity of one of her visions. It felt so foreign. There was a myriad of images, all flashing fast, just as they had right before the bombs hit. But one image stood out to the both of us … someone running.
Jasper.
The vision stopped just as suddenly as it came. I jumped to my feet, lifting Alice in my arms. The crowd had gathered around us, with concerned faces pressing closer. I couldn't see past them, and their thoughts penetrated my own, making it difficult to concentrate.
"Carlisle!" I yelled out to him, not wishing to waste another moment. "We need to go!"