After.
Chapter Six: Observation
Joker stood in the shower, running his hands through his hair. He felt...unclean. Dirty. Scrubbing the soap over his arms and body again, he attempted to find a freedom from the feeling. His mind raced back to his time with Kelly, and how she had just...left. Like it was no big deal. Ensnare the snarky pilot with a quick flash of boobs and quite a bit of alcohol, and he was apparently an easy lay. And he hated that. Slamming the water off a bit too hard, he swore under his breath as his hand throbbed unpleasantly. He grabbed a towel, quickly drying himself off, before he slid on a new set of clothing – considering Kelly stained his last pair. He exited the bathroom after sliding his hat over his slightly damp hair. A soft padding of feet caused the pilot to slow his loud movement. Shepard idly walked down the hall toward the Starboard Observation deck. Samara normally hung out there – but Joker was aware that Thane had plans with the lovely blue one, which didn't involve being on the ship for the next two days.
Joker paused, watching as the door closed behind Shepard, before pursuing. Something seemed off about the normally borderline cocky swagger that his Commander normally had. The door opened in front of him, revealing Shepard sitting close to the glass. She glanced over her shoulder at him – makeup smeared slightly under her eyes.
"Commander," he greeted, unsure if he should enter. As if sensing his hesitation, she patted the floor beside her.
Carefully, he moved toward her – sliding himself to a sitting position by the dress-clad marine. His crutches clinked softly as he sat them down next to him.
"How are you?" she asked, watching him.
"I had...a night."
"A night?" a smile tugged at the sides of her lips.
"Not good enough to be called good. Not bad enough to be called bad," he explained, carefully stacking his crutches beside him, "Bout yours?"
"I had a night too," she nodded – her heels – appearing broken now – sat beside her. A bit of blood stained the bust of her dress, and a few rips gave her a fake slit on the side of the knee-length dress.
"Did the Reapers win?" he asked, not wanting to push.
"Actually...yes," her eyes were focused on space, "They kind of did," she paused, appearing to sniff the air, "Joker...did you get laid?"
"How...I just got out of the shower...how...?"
"You're a morning shower man," she observed, "Every time I see you in the morning, your hair is still wet under your hat and you smell lightly of soap."
"So taking a shower at night automatically means sex?" he frowned, appearing annoyed
Her light brown eyes studied him, "Are you okay, Joker?"
Shepard never asked if he was okay. She always found ways around it to make his ego stay intact. After the Collectors had cleared out the ship, she had told him to let her know if he needed anything. She was supportive – not directly asking what was wrong. This...felt weird. Yet, he wanted to tell her. Gaz Shepard was honestly his closest friend. Most people on the ship ignored him or treated him strange.
"Kelly," he sighed, scratching his neck, "But that's all I'm going to say. Now you have to say what's up with you," Joker smirked, pulling at the brim of his hat slightly.
"I killed ten batarians."
"That sounds like the fun aspect of the night."
"It kinda was. Your turn."
"Alcohol and the 'storage' room."
"Sex room?"
"How does everyone know this but me?"
"Because you live in the cockpit."
"Ouch. Your turn."
"Dancing."
"Whoa," Joker leaned his head to the side, "You danced?"
"Yeah...it was unique."
"Was it combined with the batarians?" Joker's voice sounded hopeful.
"At first yes."
"You're my hero."
"Your turn."
"Patel drank too much and threw up," he changed subjects, staring off into space.
"Just when we were getting somewhere..."
"I'm slowly painting you a picture of my evening."
"Fair enough. My turn. Lots of...talking."
"Vague statement is vague."
"I learned you had a meeting with Alenko."
"I don't like when people treat you like shit. It pissed me off so I wanted to set it straight. Not because I gave a damn what he thought about you, but because I didn't like him treating you like that."
"You really don't like Kaidan, do you?"
"Nope."
"Your turn."
Joker paused to consider, "Oh – Patel is totally medical staff."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Damn. I should go talk to her after the shore-leave."
"Go."
"Well there aren't many little details to fuck around with. Basically in my evening I charmed the fucking pants off of Kaidan, then realized getting back together with him would be a giant mistake."
"You dumped him?"
"He kinda brought it on himself. He started talking about how people let the past overshadow the present and I realized the only reason I was giving him a chance was the past."
"Past isn't irrelevant."
"Look at Garrus. Wrex. Chakwas. Liara. Tali. Especially you. I was dead. You came back. You trusted me. Hell – you were sitting right next to the new Normandy like nothing had ever changed," a smile pulled her lips into a warm expression, "My scruffy pilot – just as ready and eager as ever. Not even two years of death could stop you from being the best."
Joker smiled, feeling his cheeks grow a bit red at her compliment.
"So what happened to you?" she asked, nudging him slightly – causing her dress to rip more, "Shit..."
"Can't we just keep talking on how I'm the best. I like this topic," he smiled, as Shepard pressed her hand against the glass of the observation room. She simply looked over at him with a lightly amused expression, before stealing his hat – placing it over her slightly messed up hair.
"Holding my hat hostage?" he asked, as she leaned away from his reach.
"Yes."
"Okay...so I went out drinking with Donnelly, Daniels, and a few others."
"I always liked them."
"Me too. Anyway, Patel ended up getting sick, and everyone decided to go help out – which left me alone at the table. Kelly came by and we went back to the ship."
Shepard watched him – still guarding the hat with one hand. Her eyeliner had smeared slightly under her light brown eyes – possibly from sweat or combat. In the strange light of space, her olive skin appeared to match her light brown eyes exactly, as she carefully listened to Joker – her expression still lightly amused.
"Then she showed you the room of shame?"
"No, then she went to change out of her dress because she wanted to 'show me something' but was 'tired of being in a tight dress.'"
"This can only end in nudity."
"Her zipper stuck."
Shepard snorted, her expression beginning to shine with pity, "Joker, is your life a porno?"
"Yes. Because I helped her with her zipper, and she just let her dress fall."
Gaz openly started laughing, before she got control of herself again, "Sorry...sorry. This is just...just continue."
"Eventually she got dressed and dragged me to the room I had never heard of. Then she said all these...nice things to me."
Shepard's expression changed quickly, realizing the seriousness of the situation, "Oh..."
"Really nice things. Well it doesn't matter. She stole my virginity. Yay. Not a thirty-year-old-virgin anymore. You should be proud. Finally got laid by Kelly. Apparently I always follow your orders."
"Then what happened?" Shepard asked, appearing annoyed at the mention of Kelly's name.
"She left."
"Left?"
"Yeah...I was just a shore-leave lay. Back-up for not finding some turian or drell to hump."
"Worst psychologist ever," Shepard spat, her voice clearly annoyed, arms crossed over her chest. Joker quickly stole his hat back from her. She barely reacted.
"It's not a big deal. Just kinda made me feel a bit..."
"Dirty. When you get used for sex, you feel dirty."
"Yeah. That."
"What a day," she sighed, "But yay sex!"
"Yay..."
"Kelly's a bitch. The next person you lay with – try to have it someone special and count that as the first time," she smiled, patting him on the shoulder.
"Hopefully it won't take over thirty years again."
"It won't," she smiled at him.
Joker smiled back, appreciating the woman before him.
"Anyway, I'm tired as shit. Need a hand?"
She gracefully stood – carefully helping Joker to his feet.
"Sleep sounds like a good idea," he agreed, as Shepard handed him his crutches.
–
AN: Can I just write Joker and Shepard talking forever, or...? I find their interactions sweet – even in-game stuff. The fact that Joker was there for Shepard since the start really impacted me – and I have a feeling it really hit Shepard close to the heart. I feel sorry for Joker though. Poor baby feeling dirty after sex.
Rated M for: Language, future sexual situations, future violence, and so I can have freedom without fear of scarring a teen for life.
Oh – and I don't own anything ever.