After.
Chapter Eight: Caught
"I wonder if Thane is sleeping with Samara..." Donnelly off-handily asked, as the same group as the night before sat in a decently sized diner on the Citadel.
"Doesn't she have like a code or something?" Gabby replied, as their food arrived.
"But they both have that 'zen' thing going, you know? The whole 'I will brutally murder everything you love, then pray for my forgiveness,' sort of thing," he shrugged, as Joker accepted his food from the rather busty waitress. She smiled at him specifically, before leaving the table.
"Waitress wants your nuts, Joker," Hadley remarked, smirking, before taking a bite of his food.
"She just likes the hat," he replied, taking a bite of his burger.
Patel snorted from her face-down position on the table.
"How's the hangover?" Gabby asked, petting the girl's arm slightly.
"I want to drink the grease off of Joker's burger," she mumbled from beneath her arms. Her food hadn't arrived yet.
The pilot tapped her on the shoulder, sliding his plate over to her. The woman picked up her head – lifting an brow towards the Helmsman.
"What?"
"We ordered the same thing. You're dying. Go for it."
She smiled at him – slightly noting the bite he had already taken out of it, before quickly sliding the food into her mouth. Her expression reminded Joker of the faces Kelly had been making during their evening together. He quickly adverted his eyes, and concentrated on drinking his water.
"You are an amazing person. I will give you free drugs from the medical bay for life," she purred as she chewed the meat.
"Keep your panties on, Patel," Kenneth cautioned, "Or in second thought – let them fly!"
Gabby punched him in the shoulder, as the empty spot in front of Joker was replaced with a new burger.
"So what happened to you after we went to help the drunky?" Hadley asked, receiving a death-glare from Patel.
"Kelly and I got bored of the club, so we headed back," he shrugged, scratching he leg-brace under the table. Damn thing would hopefully be removed soon.
"Did you get some?" Kenneth asked, eating the fries from his BLT.
"Some what?" Joker replied before connecting the meaning, "I mean..." he paused, noticing the entire table was watching him, "That's private."
"So are her boobs closer to an A or B?" Hadley asked, motioning across the table to Joker.
"Nothing happened," he lied, adding pepper to his fries. He hated the taste of ketchup and knew salt was bad for him, so he always opted to over-pepper his fries.
"Really?" Donnelly challenged, before he reached into his pocket and placed Joker's wallet on the table.
The Helmsman froze, before he quickly tapped his pockets.
"Great...you've learned how to pick-pocket. We're all doomed."
"Or I visited the storage room myself last night," he smirked.
"Because Gardner asked you to grab him some food for any crew who stayed aboard today," Gabby added, causing the proud look on Kenneth's face to fade.
"Quiet, woman."
Gabby smiled.
"Anyway, found this under the bed," he motioned to the wallet.
Everyone at the table watched Joker – even Patel from behind her burger.
"I was...grabbing some supplies for the Commander."
"Damn...he bedded the Commander," Hadley shook his head, smirking.
"A toast!" Kenneth raised his glass.
"No...no! She wanted some..."
'Shit...what do they store in the storage?' Joker's mind raced.
"...extra food for her own room. She was feeling a bit under the weather and ran into me. She figured having food in her room would make the healing process easier."
"Fairly certain she slept with Kaidan last night," Kenneth replied, arms crossed as he leaned back in his chair, "Just tell us Joker! We're you're friends."
"I have to admit I'm curious," Gabby shrugged, as she ran her fork through her rather delicious looking chicken salad.
"C'mon Joker," Patel quietly begged, smiling at him from behind the burger she was quickly eating.
"Fine...fine. Yeah, I slept with Kelly last night."
"A toast!"
"A toast to the thing that probably everyone at this table has done!" Hadley interrupted Kenneth's toast, saying it in an equally cheery voice. The entire table grew noticeably uncomfortable.
"What?" the pilot asked, choosing to eat his fries rather than raise his glass.
"Kelly...is a particularly sensual individual. I can think of five people from the ship she's slept with without hesitation. A few are at this table."
Joker choked on his fries.
"I have. Kenneth hasn't. Gabby...?"
"Hasn't," she half-growled.
"Patel has," Hadely continued, causing the woman to throw a fry at him, "Goldstein has. Hawthorne has. Matthews has."
"No surprise there," Kenneth added – giving Gabby a smile.
"Wow...I had no idea," Joker frowned, scratching the back of his neck.
"And with a gimp leg. Damn Joker," Hadley shook his head, "She's a good lay," he simply shrugged, causing Gabby to frown.
"Anyone how Shepard's date went?" she forced a subject change, taking a rather large bite of her chicken.
"That's her business," Joker mumbled, feeling a bit sick.
"It looked like it was going well," Hadley shrugged, eating his steak, "She probably got some too, as I said."
"Nah – I saw her this morning. She looked...sad," Patel quietly inputted, appearing still a bit shaken about the announcement of her lesbian night with Kelly.
–
AN: Tiny chapter is tiny. I would have added more, but the upcoming things need to stay together or they feel awkward. For some reason I enjoy writing the various people of the Normandy crew. I've always loved Kenneth and Gabby. I took a few random names from the crew – which didn't have anything other than their presence upon the Normandy attached to them, and ran with it. Plus I had the head-canon that Kelly slept with everything. In the next chapter I promise actual action and less back-and-forth chatter! Be excited!
Rated M for: Language, future sexual situations, future violence, and so I can have freedom without fear of scarring a teen for life.
Oh – and I don't own anything ever.