CHAPTER 32
-:- Better the Devil You Know Than the Devil You Don't -:-
-:- Bella's Journal -:-
GARRETT CAME TO ME a few days ago, worried and distracted. He kept asking me details of the past, things I've long forgotten... people I've long forgotten. It's been years since Garrett's asked me things about you and your family, it's a topic we both tend to avoid. I'm bothered by his unpredictable persistence, it's not his way. I can't help the nagging feeling that something has changed between us.
I don't see much of Garrett, and unless I'm with Maria on the raids, she keeps him next to her side most of the time. I often wonder what she has him do, or what's required of him, but I don't ask, so he doesn't share. It's an understanding we have, but the few times she allows him to come back to me, he's distant and withdrawn. He hides things from me, I know that much. He doesn't tell me what goes on below, for which I'm grateful I suppose, but I'm frustrated he feels the need to protect me from it all. I'm stronger now... much stronger. I'm hardened. I don't need to be protected or sheltered. Garrett still treats me like a fragile being, when in reality I'm the strongest one down here.
I often think about the first few years of your life when Carlisle turned you, what you went through. I know you killed people, I remember you telling me that. Each time I end a life I think of you. I try to tell myself these humans are better off. It's better than suffering below. Is that what we tell ourselves to make it easier? Give excuses to make us live with ourselves? I wonder if your eyes are red now, if the family is still together, or if you maintain your diet. Lately, I think of you more and more. I had pushed you aside for so long, but Garrett is making it impossible to keep you buried. I think it's testing my sanity. I'm imagining things again. Just the other day I saw Jasper in the training area. Well, I thought I did, which only gave Garrett more cause to worry about me. I made a mental note not to bring up my hallucinations again. I'll keep them to myself.
Isaac tells me Maria has caught a spy, someone from the Volturi guard. I find it hard to believe, but he says she's convinced of it. I know a little about who the Volturi are, or more importantly, what they were. No one believes they exist anymore. Even if they did, they couldn't be on this continent.
We're not allowed to bring the subject of them up down here. Maria has forbidden it. This way the new ones won't be scared by the idea of the Volturi's punishments. Something about this collective group of ancient vampires is frightening to both Isaac and Garrett, I see it in their eyes when I mention the word. I try to ask more about them, but neither of them will talk openly. They shrug off my questions, and change the subject. I've persisted, and between Isaac and Garrett I've managed to discern a little more. I just don't understand why Maria is still so afraid of them. From what I've concluded, they couldn't be here, or they would have put a stop to Maria a long time ago. Then again, Garrett disagrees with me. He says Maria is clever, she's eluded them for centuries. Always will.
"As far back as I can remember," Garrett explained to me, "the southern vampires have been at war. They've always fought for territory. It's been about supply and demand. Vamps like Maria, they bide their time until they're sure. She didn't survive the Southern Wars after all those years not to be cautious. She'll quietly build her army, staying hidden until she's sure, or until she's matched them on their abilities. She'll never act unless she's certain she can defeat them."
"And you think she's caught a Volturi spy."
"I'm not convinced, no." He didn't look me in the eyes.
"Didn't she think this once before? There was that vampire; the one she thought was mad. He rambled on about personal guards, so she had him killed. Why hasn't she killed this one?"
"Because this vamp has a history with her, they know each other. They know each other well." He finally looked up at me, indicating just how well they knew each other. "But it's been quite a few years since they've seen each other. He could be Volturi..."
"But you don't think so." We were going in circles. He was keeping something from me. "What has you suspicious?"
"He mentioned a name." His eyes shifted down again. I didn't think he was going to say anything further, until he lowered his voice almost to a whisper. "A man I once knew, and that man would never join the Volturi."
There was something in the way he was standing, and I could feel his apprehension—the room was filled with it, like it was suffocating me.
"Garrett..." I took a step toward him. "What are you keeping from me? Isaac said you know him, too."
"Isaac can't keep his mouth shut," he mumbled. "I don't know him, no, I know of him." He still wouldn't look at me, which was making me angry. I wanted the power to read his mind. How I would give up everything just for that one glimpse into his head. Instead, all I had was the anger fuelling inside of me, starting at that familiar pit in my stomach.
"Just tell me." My irritation continued. I was frustrated with him for keeping things from me. I wanted an equal partnership. I was tired of people always wanting to protect me. "You said we were partners, that you would never do what he did. You promised me. Don't keep secrets from me. Stop trying to protect me!" I thrust my fists against my sides, feeling the anger or the energy leave my body, pushing outward toward Garrett. He stumbled backward, catching himself before falling.
The surprise on both of our faces caused him to laugh. "Well, that's new."
I didn't want to laugh with him, I was still too angry. That little glimpse of power wasn't new, only new to him because I'd never been this angry with him. "Don't change the subject. Who is he?"
"I need some time," he said. "Nix, please. Let me figure this out, I just want to find out a few things first." He kissed my forehead, running his hands over my shoulders. "I have to go. I can't be here right now. I'll tell you when I know more." He was gone before I could protest.
-:-
JASPER IS HERE.
Here.
All of these years down here, and now a Cullen is breathing the same air as me. When I learned the truth it felt like I was hyperventilating—which is impossible—but as I watched Maria lead him away my lungs collapsed. I needed Jasper back. I rushed after them, but Garrett grabbed me about the waist, hoisting me in the air.
"You can't go after him," Garrett whispered. "You'll sign his death warrant."
I started to shake, and as the tremors raked through my body uncontrollably, nothing could stop them, not even Garrett's soothing touches.
Where was Alice? Where were the rest of them?
I sat down hard, my legs buckling underneath me.
"How? How is that possible? He's here? Why?" The questions tumbled out of my mouth; I wasn't even giving Garrett a chance to answer them. I held my breath for a second to calm myself. "It's not possible. Is he alone?"
"I need to find out more. Maria has him heavily guarded. Like I said, they share a past and she's not letting him leave. I think he was her second in command back in the day."
"Is he alone!"
He sighed heavily as though the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. "Yes."
"I need to see him again."
"Maria will never allow it. She can't know your connection. We need to keep that to ourselves for now."
"No! I need to see him, Garrett." My voice was bordering on hysteria. He bent down, rubbing my arms.
"I know, believe me."
I started to protest, telling him he didn't understand.
"Nix, you don't think I know what that family means to you?" His voice started getting louder. "Goddammit! I know! Every moment I spend with you, I know. Every flinch when I touch you, every ounce of rejection when you walk away from me. Believe me, I know what it means to have news of the Cullens... of him! So don't you dare tell me I don't understand. For once, listen to me, woman!" He had grabbed hold of my arms, shaking me and I let him. "Please," he said with one final thrust as he pushed me away. "Listen to me." His voice was so quiet, but it still echoed around the walls of the cave. "We have to be smart about this. You need to let me call the shots. All of our lives are at risk."
"Carlisle," I whispered, some memories coming back to me, a painting. "Carlisle knew the Volturi."
"He did."
"So maybe he's connected to them now. Who knows what's happened in the last ten years!" My voice was excited, filled with hope for the first time in a long time.
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We don't know anything. If he does work with the Volturi, none of us are safe from them. We're helping Maria, they'll destroy us all without a second thought or they'll take us into their guard. I won't trade one servitude for another. I need to find out what his agenda is."
"Jasper wouldn't have any agenda."
"You don't know that. A lot changes in ten years."
"I'd rather take my chances with him and the Volturi," I said.
Garrett laughed. "Let's hope we live long enough to regret that."
"He's in danger," I said, wiping the smirk from my face.
"Yeah, he is. She'll take him to see the devil-child."
"So if he's a spy..."
"She'll kill him. Not right away, but she'll torture him until she's satisfied."
"We have to get him out of here," I said. "Tell me we're in agreement on that."
"Yes."
"Whatever happens, you must promise me you'll protect him as you would protect me."
"Nix..."
"Promise me, Garrett and I'll do whatever you say. I'll stick to your plan, but not until you promise me."
"Okay."
"I need you to say it."
"I promise."
He was disappointed in me, I could see that much. I didn't want to ask why, I knew why. Whatever the Cullens had done to me, abandoning me, leaving me to die, I couldn't do that to any one of them. Even after all these years all of my instincts told me I still cared about them... that I loved them. Garrett would never understand that. I would risk my life for Jasper, because maybe a small part of me thought I was saving a part of us by doing so.
"Did he say anything about the others?" I didn't want to put Garrett through any more pain, but I had to ask.
"Not really, we haven't had many chances to talk."
I nodded in understanding.
"Do you really want to know, Nix? Do you want to put yourself through all of that again?"
Without even thinking of my answer I blurted out, "Yes." Because I did. I wholeheartedly wanted to know because a part of me didn't believe he was here on his own accord. How could Jasper have found his way to me without knowing I was here? Alice would have seen it, unless he was no longer with her.
Alice.
Something terrible would have had to happen for them to be parted. The dread was building and would continue to build until I laid eyes on Jasper again. Where were the others? Maybe it wasn't him, was I mistaken? No. It was him. After all of these years, I was sharing the same air as a member of the Cullen family. My body buzzed from this revelation.
"I have to see him again," I said, making it clear it wasn't a request. "For my own sanity."
He grabbed my arms again, but this time it was gentle. His eyes softened as he looked down at me, like he'd just lost something forever and would never get it back. My heart broke, tearing into two pieces all over again.
"This changes everything, doesn't it?" he asked.
"It changes nothing." But even as I said the words we both knew I didn't mean it. I pulled him into my arms, and we held tight to each other. With that one word, both of our worlds were turned upside down and would be forever changed. There was something inside of me, I could feel it burning. It wasn't the familiar pit of burning embers I was used to feeling in my stomach. This was different. It started at the tips of my toes, spreading like a wildfire up my legs, but it didn't burn, it was a glowing warmth from the inside hitting every one of my nerves, raising all of the hairs on my body. I had never felt this before. The emptiness I had only ever known in this body was being replaced by something much more potent, and there was only one word to describe it. That one word, 'Cullen,' was synonymous with another powerful word that I never allowed myself to feel. Hope.
.
2016 -:- Present Day
THE WOLVES WORST FEARS were coming true. More vampires than they ever thought possible were going to be on their doorstep. They had heard our conversation about the Volturi, so it was no surprise they were on edge. Jacob and his pack had spent the last twenty-four hours at the house in discussions with Carlisle. For mediation sake, Billy and Sam had joined them hoping to keep things cordial. Having a mind reader and an empath in the house added to the complications. We tried our best not to be invasive, but with the wolves' animosity it was proving difficult.
Garrett didn't have much more information than what he had already shared. He didn't know how many of the Volturi Carmen and Eleazar had found, or who exactly they had found. At this point it was all speculation, but from what they had gathered, it was a respectable number. As to how many would actually show up on our doorstep? That was another worry.
"Should we evacuate the compound?" Sam asked. "Or at least the elderly and the children?" It was a fair question, but little did they know that old, young, healthy, or sick, if the Volturi wanted in that compound, nothing was going to stop them, not even a handful of wolves.
"I don't think you'll have to resort to that," Carlisle said. "At least I hope not. Despite how cruel the Volturi can be, I doubt their agenda to visit us involves the taking of human lives."
"That's a big risk you're asking us to take, Carlisle," Billy said, "but we'll trust you." The two exchanged a look that said everything that needed to be said, even despite me being able to read their minds. Billy was putting his faith in us, while Carlisle was putting his faith in God. Jacob, on the other hand, his faith lay in himself and his pack. He didn't want a peaceful discussion, and wasn't willing to take any risks or stand on the sidelines.
"We'll have to ask that no one leaves the compound during their visit," Carlisle added, looking at Jacob. "Which definitely includes you and your pack, Jacob. We can't risk them finding out about what you are. I'm not sure what they would do, but I'm certain they would deem you a threat, especially if Caius is with them. He has history with your kind. Let's not have any unnecessary bloodshed if we can avoid it." Carlisle gave Jacob a tight smile.
"I don't know about unnecessary," Quil joked, "but there sure would be bloodshed." The other wolves laughed with him.
"The Volturi are not to be treated lightly," Carlisle snapped, instantly regretting his tone. "I'm sorry," he apologized.
"Carlisle's right," Garrett said. His hand went instinctively to his neck. I saw a brief glimpse of something in his mind, a chamber of sorts, like a throne room. Garrett on his knees being held against his will by two hooded figures while the three ancient ones loomed over him. Through Garrett's eyes I saw Carlisle from another time, long before me or the family. He was standing behind Aro and his brothers, with his eyes filled with compassion for Garrett. The unexpected memory showed a look of surprise on my face letting Garrett know what I had seen.
Yes, his thoughts spoke out in my head, Carlisle saved my life. He doesn't remember me, but I'll never forget. We're all connected in this, Edward, whether we choose to believe it or not. We all have something at stake. If there is anyone who can influence the Volturi, it's Carlisle. He can get them to see the right of things.
There was no doubt in my mind what Carlisle could and couldn't do, but I knew there would be more to it than that. There would be a cost, and I doubted any of us was prepared to accept what that cost would be.
"The Volturi are as unpredictable as they are predictable, if that makes any sense." Garrett rubbed a hand over his face trying to forget the past that led him to his confrontation with the Volturi. "We can expect them to make a bargain, but what we can't expect is what they're going to ask in return for helping us."
"Wait a minute," Jacob said. "Aren't they the people who rule your kind? Isn't this Maria trying to take over? Why wouldn't they want to take her down?"
"We don't know what kind of presence they have here," Carlisle explained. "We don't even know why they're here and not still in Italy. They must have been on this continent before everything happened, which means they were coming to find my family. Or I suppose it's possible they came after, but that means something terrible must have happened across the seas to make them want to come here. Either way, Aro will be looking to build up his own army." Carlisle looked from Jasper to me, knowing exactly what that would mean for our family. Carlisle cleared his throat, looking away. "I'm not able to make a bargain like that."
Frowning, Jacob sat back in his chair with a look of suspicion sweeping over his expression. "Why was he coming to find you and your family?"
"Aro is a collector of sorts," Carlisle said. "He goes looking for our kind with special abilities, like Jasper or Edward, and at the time, Alice especially. I can't imagine his agenda would have changed. If anything, he'll desire them more now. He'll need them. This time, I'm certain he won't be so agreeable if we refuse." Carlisle had collected himself, his voice was even and in control, but I knew the fears that played out in his head. Esme would be devastated after we were all gone, but it wasn't her he was most concerned about.
"Bella," I whispered, glancing at Carlisle who confirmed my fears with a nod.
She was still apprehensive with strangers, so thankfully, she had dragged Emmett and the others hunting, needing some distance from the wolves. Their aggression seemed to fuel her own anger, making it difficult to be around them for any extended period. She had chosen to stay out of these discussions, putting her trust in me and Garrett. It was a big step for her considering what went down on the training field.
"He's going to want her," Garrett said, cursing under his breath. "We're not about to trade one prison for another."
"I'll never let it happen," I said.
"Yeah, that's not an option." Billy spoke up on behalf of his friend. "Charlie will never let that happen either, and then we've got a whole new problem on our hands. Why Bella, anyway?"
"As far as abilities go," Carlisle said, his voice filled with admiration, "Bella's are... extraordinary."
"So, then how is this Aro any different from Maria?" Billy asked.
Carlisle leaned forward, and as he put his hands together he chuckled before answering. "That's just it, isn't it? Which is the lesser of two evils?"
"I'll take the Volturi," Jasper said, from the corner of the room. He'd been quiet up until this point, listening, taking everything in like the strategist he was.
"You don't know what you're saying," Carlisle said. "I've tried to live my life decently. Live by my rules, and in turn passed them on to all of you." He gave a solemn look to me and Jasper. "I have faith this was the right way to live. The only way. The Volturi have their own rules, their own convictions. If we want their help, we need to be prepared to sacrifice some things. What? I don't know, but whether it's Maria, or the Volturi, I can assure you the price we pay will be steep."
"What happens if they don't help you?" Billy asked. I could hear the thoughts turning in his head as he considered what it would mean, and how he already knew the truth to his question.
"We can't defeat Maria," Jasper said. "They'll definitely give us the advantage we need, enough to let us get to Emilia." He let me into his thoughts as to what he had surmised about the Volturi and how they could help, but also what it would cost. We both knew who Aro's targets would be. He would come after Alice first, and when he found out she could no longer see the future he would turn to me for my talents, then he would move on to Jasper and possibly Kate. Carlisle was right, Aro couldn't find out about Bella. She had to be kept from him.
"If Aro does come, no one is to touch him," Carlisle said. "Not if they can help it. I'll volunteer if he demands it. I've had some experience with him. Hopefully I can protect some secrets. I think it will be best if Bella and Kate stay at the compound, if that will be all right with you, of course." He nodded to Billy.
"They can stay," Billy offered. "We'll set them up in your house. We'll make sure no one goes near it for Bella's sake."
"The rest of us have to be here, but at least we can protect the two of them. It's possible Aro may already know about Bella from Eleazar, but we'll just have to take that chance."
"Good luck getting Bella to agree to that." Jacob laughed, folding his arms. She's going to flay you. Can I watch? he added silently for me.
-:-
THE WOLVES LEFT WITH promises they would not return until we sent for them. It was difficult getting them to agree. I could read what each of them were thinking, and it wasn't in their nature to sit back and wait, not when such a large force of their enemy would be gathering miles from their home. Charlie and Seth were going to be another matter, but with Bella staying at the compound, hopefully it would mean Charlie would stay with her. The difficult part–as Jacob so delicately pointed out—was going to be convincing Bella, which would be next to impossible.
Bella hadn't returned yet with the others. I was left wandering around the house too restless to do anything productive. Even Garrett and Jasper left with the wolves to see Billy and Sam safely home. I should have gone with them, at least to stretch my legs, but having Carlisle to myself was a luxury I couldn't pass up. It had been much too long since we had one of our talks, and we were overdue. Carlisle had been guarding his mind from me ever since the wolves had left. At first I thought he was being kind, trying to give me some relief, which was sometimes his way, but it wasn't long before I realized he was hiding his thoughts from me, not shielding them. There was a big difference when it came to him. The others always hid their thoughts. There were things they didn't want me knowing—and things I definitely never wanted to know—but with Carlisle it was different. He hadn't specifically hidden his thoughts from me in a long time, not since we were back in Chicago.
It was late in the night, a few hours before dawn, when I sought out Carlisle in his study. I knocked, giving him the respect he deserved, and the sound of it seemed to echo throughout the empty house while I waited for his invitation to enter. He hesitated, to my surprise. For a moment I wasn't sure he would grant me an audience. His pause did nothing to satiate my growing fears.
"Carlisle, we need to talk." I said it quietly, hoping he wouldn't feel threatened by my words.
"Not now, Edward," he said from the other side of the door.
"You heard what Alice said earlier, no more secrets. No more lies. You promised you'd never keep things from me."
Not this time, his silence spoke volumes. Even the voice in his mind was subdued.
Ignoring Carlisle's wishes, I opened the door and stepped into the room. Three candles burned brightly along the far windowsill, casting my shadow along the bookshelf. It was looming over him, almost menacing even though it was not my intention.
"Please don't shut me out," I said. "What are you keeping from me?"
Bella's journal lay in front of him on his desk, his hand rested across it as though he was guarding it. It was open to the last entry which I knew by heart. I'd read the entire thing from cover to cover, but Carlisle had been studying it, like it held some hidden message or secret. Once was enough for me. I'd committed the journal to memory, every ounce of pain and suffering that had been inflicted on Bella, I didn't need the pages to remind me of what she had gone through.
'Cullen' synonymous with 'hope.'
Carlisle thought he had failed her.
"I'm going to have to ask you to stay out of my thoughts this once. They are mine. Please respect that."
I had never seen this side of him before, taking on this burden of being a savior. He'd been this way since Garret and Kate had come back announcing the Volturi's arrival.
I motioned to the chess table near the window, hoping he'd join me in continuing where we left off in our game. If we could play a little, perhaps he would relax enough to confide in me. It wasn't really fair when I played him, he hardly ever won, but he always thought of it as a learning experience, a way to challenge himself. I tried not to read his thoughts when we played, wanting to give him a fighting chance, but sometimes it was difficult for me not to cheat, to look ahead at what he was planning. I didn't like to lose any more than anyone else, but hopefully by playing tonight, he'd see I wasn't trying to get in his head, that I just wanted to talk.
Sitting down, I lifted my bishop moving it to e3, waiting for him to join me knowing he couldn't resist the game. After a long silent pause, his chair scraped across the hardwood floor and the candle flames flickered as he walked toward the little table. His form hovered over the board casting a shadow over his own pieces, putting them into full darkness. It was only for a fraction of a second, but a sense of dread swept through me. Before I could even confirm what it was, Carlisle sat down, and the feeling was gone. Without saying a word, or thinking a thought other than the game, he moved his rook to c8.
His eyes were cast downward, staring at the board, with his finger resting under his chin while he contemplated what his next move would be. Ignoring my gut, I chose to sweep whatever ominous feeling I had away, concentrating on the game instead. If he didn't want to talk, at least I'd get a good game out of him to distract me from my worries.
We sat in blissful silence for a few moves, too wrapped up in the game to have our thoughts drift to why I'd sought him out. When I sacrificed my bishop to his knight, he realized his mistake, and sat back laughing, placing his elbows on the arms of the chair.
"I'm done for now, aren't I?" he asked.
"Not yet," my queen took his knight, "but soon." Smiling, we both knew the real battle was about to begin. Within a few moves, both of us had lost a pawn, but my queen had been ever inching her way into the game to a point where she could do some serious damage, and he knew it.
"The only way to defeat her is with Aro's help." Carlisle moved another pawn forward. "I've poured over Bella's journal, Maria fears them."
"We take out Emilia," I said, "then Bella controls her army."
"She'll be heavily guarded. Maria won't risk it. We'd never get through."
Wanting him to take the bait, I moved my pawn to g4 trying to draw out his queen. It worked. His queen was out in the open now, away from his king, and I couldn't see it ever making it back to protect him. I studied the board, planning ahead, visualizing where the game was going to go, all the while staying out of Carlisle's head. I had to be smart about my next move, knowing it was going to change the game. I'd have to sacrifice a few more pieces to get where I needed to be.
"We can do it. Emilia is the key. We risk it all to get to her. It's our only chance."
"It's not our only option," Carlisle said, moving his rook exactly where I wanted it to be.
"We can't put our hope in the Volturi, you know what they'll want."
"Perhaps," he said, moving his bishop so my knight would be forced to take it. "But not if we make the offer first."
"No."
"Edward," he said, sitting back in his chair, and then he showed me exactly what he was planning.
"No," I said again.
His hands were steady as they hovered over the table. Instead of making his next move, he slowly and carefully began laying down each of the remaining pieces on his side of the board. All except for two. "Despite what the Volturi think, Esme is not the queen in this scenario, and I'm certainly not the king." With what little light there was in the room, it was enough for the windows to display our reflections back at us. Our figures were like ghosts in the glass, and that strange, foreboding feeling came back sweeping over my body, leaving only a sense of dread behind.
"Carlisle," I said, my tone changing as I lowered my chin to my chest, "there's no way any of us would allow that."
"I'm a pawn, a piece to be sacrificed to make it to the end of the game. Nothing more. I'm not a key player in this." His eyes leveled with mine, letting me know exactly who were the key players.
"You are anything but a pawn." I sat back in my chair, dismissing his ridiculous statement.
"My role is to bring the Volturi, whatever the cost."
"Does Esme know what you're planning?"
He straightened up in his chair, looking at the window seeing the same reflection I had seconds ago. "She does. We have no secrets between us."
"I'm sick and tired of everyone sacrificing themselves for this family!"
"That's precisely my point. You've done your part, Edward. You saved us all. Now it's my turn."
"But not at the cost of your life."
"I'd gladly exchange it to give the world some peace. If they ask for it, I will give it to them." We met each other's eyes, holding the gaze for a few breaths. "Edward, I've lived a good and decent life. I have a strong coven. Aro has always been threatened by it. I won't sacrifice any of you to that life. I don't have the abilities that you and the others have, but to him I still hold a power almost as great as his. He'll see it more with Tanya's family here with us. We are growing, a strong force bound by me, at least that is what he will think. He'll not ignore that. My life as payment, he may demand it, it's an option we need to consider."
"An option!" I stood up, my thigh catching the table, knocking the rest of the chess pieces about. My throat tightened as I struggled to get the words out. "Your life is not an option. We can't..." I put my head in my hands. "I told you once I can't live this life without you. I need you. We all do."
"Edward," he said softly, "I'm not the king. You will go on without me."
"And Esme? Will she?"
"She will make her own decision when the time comes."
"She won't live without you. You can't do this to her," I said, looking him straight in the eyes.
Slowly, he stood up, resting his hands on my shoulders. He gave me a gentle squeeze, and then placed a hand on my head. I knew his words were going to be final, but I couldn't accept them, I wouldn't. There was going to be another way, even if I had to agree to Aro's terms myself. I would serve him if it meant my family's lives would be spared. I saw Carlisle's thoughts as though he had read my own.
Would you be separated from Bella again? Or worse, damn her to another prison, another monster when she makes the decision to follow you?
He knew how to hit where it hurt the most. That was exactly the reason why he and Esme had already talked this through. It was a decision he didn't want me to have to make. His hand slid down the back of my head, giving my neck one last squeeze. Everything he felt for me, for all of us, was in that one gesture. He turned to leave the room, but not before one last thought rang through his head.
The Volturi have never done anything without a price.
As I watched him leave in the reflection of the window, I realized the God he believed in so much was not through with any of us.
Damn this family and its sacrifices. When would it be enough?
-:-
I SMELLED HER THE minute she stepped foot into the house. My body relaxed now that she was with me again. I wondered if it would always be this way when we were separated, if I would always be on edge without even realizing it. Would I get used to it? Or would it be like that for the few decades I would be with the Volturi—surely they wouldn't ask more than that of me.
Carlisle was right, I wouldn't put her through that life again. She would stay here with my family, I'd make Garrett insist upon it. She would listen to him if she wouldn't listen to me. Of course there was a small part of me that wondered if she even loved me enough to protest, if she would sacrifice her freedom for me.
"Hi," she said from the doorway. I took a deep breath to get my fill of her.
"Hi." I sat up, swinging my legs off of the couch, but I didn't make a move toward her. She could sense my heavy heart and was at my side in an instant. Pulling her onto my lap, I kissed her soundly, reveling in her touch, the taste of her and the way her skin felt underneath my fingertips.
"That bad?" she asked, leaning her forehead against mine.
"Worse."
"Emmett was right."
"What's that?"
"We're disaster magnets."
I pulled back from her, laughing. "You heard that conversation?"
"Vampire hearing, remember?"
"It never ends, does it?" I filled her in on the conversation with the wolves, finishing off with my talk with Carlisle and what his intentions were. She sat patiently while I spoke, holding on to her anger until I had finished. I saw it in her eyes, I just wasn't sure who it was directed toward. It truly was frustrating not having that insight into her thoughts.
She moved off of my lap, sitting at the other end of the couch, facing me with her knees bent in front of her. I suppose I didn't need her thoughts to know what she was thinking, her body language was enough for me.
"What is it?" I said.
She scoffed, folding her arms.
"What?" I said again, my voice a little higher than usual.
"Domestic bliss, Edward! Get used to it!" Emmett yelled from below us. "Just tell her you're wrong and you're sorry. Works every time."
With super speed, I closed the door—not that it would help—and sat down close to her, resting my hands on her knees. "Bella, please tell me what I did." Her eyes narrowed, and in my head I replayed all that I had told her, wondering where it was that I'd gone wrong.
She moved out from under me in the blink of an eye, standing over me, glaring down. "You want me to hide? Hide. Really?" My eyes widened in shock. "Have you learned nothing in the last ten years? I'm not going to hide away at the compound."
"Neither am I!" Kate yelled from downstairs. "So, you can forget it, buster," she said. I could see through her mind she was poking Garrett in the chest.
Nothing was private in this house. Ever. We might as well have called a family meeting. It was foolish of Garrett and I to think the two of them would go quietly to the compound while the Volturi were here. Kate and Bella hadn't been united in much since their return, but they were united in this. I didn't wish to carry on this discussion within the hearing of the others, not when I had yet to tell Bella my own decision.
"Privacy, please!" I yelled back at them. "Can you give us an hour to ourselves?" I made a mental note to myself: if we were going to stay here and survive all that was coming, Bella and I were going to have to get our own space.
"You only need an hour?" Emmett laughed. "Poor, Bella." I would have yelled back, but I heard Esme scolding everyone as she ushered them out of the house. She and Carlisle were the only ones who remained.
"I'm not hiding," Bella said.
"Okay. It was wrong of me to assume it. I'm sorry. I was only thinking of Charlie." I reached for her hands, and thankfully she let me hold them. I took my chances, pushing my luck by pulling her between my legs. She willingly came, much to my relief. "Can you promise me one thing, then?"
She put her hands on my cheeks, rubbing her thumbs across my skin. "Depends."
"You can't show them what you can do. No matter what happens, you must not interfere and use your powers. If Aro knows what you can do..."
"Edward," she sighed, leaning in to give me a quick kiss.
Lifting her up to sit across my lap, I put my arms around her, holding her close. "I missed you."
"I missed you too, but you're not forgiven that easily." Her words contradicted her actions, and my body responded when I felt her lips on my neck. "You think I don't know you," she mumbled against my skin. "You knew what Carlisle was planning, and I know what you're planning." She turned my head to face her, staring directly into my eyes. "If you think you're going to offer yourself up to the Volturi without me, you're wrong." My head jerked back out of her hands, and I frowned. "Oh, please," she said. "You're not the only self-sacrificing person around here. I can trump you and Carlisle any day. I'll take the Volturi over Maria, and I will, as long as you're with me. You're not going anywhere without me. If the Volturi want us, we'll go to keep the family safe."
"I can't ask you to do that."
"What's one cage for another, Edward? If it means everyone is safe then I'll do it. I've never known any anything different. It can't be worse than what I've endured. We'll have eternity, what's a few years? As long as we're together."
"Bella," I started to say, but she cut me off with her lips which held an urgency behind them. I couldn't argue with that logic, and I didn't want to.
We both knew Esme and Carlisle had been listening to our conversation, but they had kept their thoughts quiet from me. It was only as we heard them leaving the house to give us the privacy we needed that Carlisle finally said something to me.
Every one of us would willingly sacrifice ourselves to protect the queen.
-:- End of Part 2 -:-