CHAPTER 34
-:- Every Dog Has His Day -:-
THE GAME HAD CHANGED. Every time we turned around it seemed the fates were testing us and pushing us in another direction. Carlisle kept telling us to have faith, but I was back to being a non-believer. It wasn't difficult when it sure felt like God had abandoned us. We were the ones fighting for all of His creatures, so we should have felt his presence watching over us. Carlisle always had some clever way to manipulate these turn of events, telling me that perhaps the collaboration with the wolves was God's helping hand. As much as I had trouble with his unwavering convictions, I was grateful to have this Carlisle with us and not the one from ten years ago. I'd take the eternal optimist over the eternal fatalist any day, but I was sick of hearing about his simplistic faith in God, and that was me being a realist.
Everyone had a job to do, and while the wolves slept, the rest of us prepared the supplies for the compound for when we departed. We treated it as though we would not be returning; it was the only way to know the humans would have everything they needed if we didn't come back. Carlisle and Jasper made sure each of the caches hidden over parts of the country were mapped out, and they wrote clear instructions as to how to access them. While that was going on, Tanya and her family were making provisions for Alaska, knowing Charlie would need to move everyone north if, and when, Maria's army spread. We didn't want to think this way, but without Alice's visions guiding us because of the wolves, we had to prepare the humans for the worst.
Every morning when dawn broke, the air seemed heavy, like it could suffocate us at any point. No one spoke of it, but unfortunately I knew what they were thinking, and Jasper knew what they were feeling. The two of us spent a lot of time away from the others. We sought each other's company when there was some downtime to be had, as both of us had the burdens of the others imposing on our will without them even realizing it. With Jasper, I didn't have to talk. It was like that with most of my family, but he always knew when things were better left unsaid. After the departure of the Volturi, abandoning us to our deaths, everyone was tightly wound, but no one more than Bella. I was worried about her. She had started to pull away from me to a place I couldn't reach her. Between all of the preparations, the training and Bella spending time with her father, we didn't have much alone time. It was a luxury I craved. All I wanted to do was throw her over my shoulder and run with her back to our meadow, back to those two days where nothing stood between the two of us.
I had shared what I saw from Marcus with Jasper. I tried to explain it to Carlisle but he didn't seem surprised by it, and avoided the subject of Marcus' sadness. Jasper, on the other hand, was intrigued by my descriptions of the 'bonds.' He had always been able to feel them, but seeing them was an entirely different aspect he had never imagined.
"It doesn't surprise me at all, Edward," Jasper said, as we hung back from the others, walking back toward the house. "You and Bella? Well, that's stuff legends are made of." He laughed at me.
"Shut up," I said and gave him a shove. "This is serious."
"I am serious," he said, "I heard stories years ago—when I was first turned—about the Volturi, specifically Aro and Marcus and Aro's sister, Didyme. There were always rumors...legends." He raised his eyebrows, smirking. "Marcus and Didyme were in love. One of those pure, deep loves. Soul mates, as Alice would say. She was an extraordinary vampire, both in beauty and spirit, or so the story goes. The two of them were going to leave Volterra, break away from it all. When Aro found out their secret, he had his sister killed."
"What?" I asked. "That can't be. Marcus never would have stayed." I thought of Bella and if one of my brothers had ordered her death. It would never happen, but if it did, they wouldn't live to see another day. "It can't be true. He would have killed Aro."
"Like I said, rumors were abundant. There are a million of them out there when it comes to the Volturi. Who's to say which is true?" He gave me a sad smile and kept walking. "Stuff of legends..." he added with a laugh.
We were headed back to the house having spent the morning training. Jasper stayed a distance away from the others, needing the space from the crowd. There were twenty-five of us when we were all together, including the wolves, and it was too much for us sometimes. The hive mind of the wolves was draining, and the constant aggression and hostility coming from all of them was difficult on Jasper.
Training took a lot out of everyone, especially the wolves. Holding their wolf form exhausted their energy, and instead of drawing attention to their ferocious appetites back at the compound, Esme had an open invitation for them at the house to eat before going home. Today she had a new recipe for cornbread and potato pie, ingredients we had an abundance of, and was hoping to impress them with her new cooking skills.
We were getting better at tolerating each other, but I knew what everyone was thinking, and everyone still had the ingrained instinct to kill one another. The restraint from the wolves was impressive, especially the young ones. I supposed it helped that Jacob had ordered his pack not to attack any of us unless he gave the command to do so. I had to admit, Jacob was a formidable leader. He knew each of his brothers and their weaknesses, exhorting them to tap into their strengths to overcome any obstacle they faced. Seeing them in action was somewhat alarming, and this was only training—showing them the vulnerabilities a newborn would have and how to attack them and where. While they pulled back their strength in practice, one could only imagine them without any limitations, but no matter how imposing they were, there wasn't one mind amongst us that wasn't thinking the same thing. With the eleven of them, and the fourteen of us, we were still not enough.
As we walked, my eyes searched for Bella up ahead expecting to see her with Garrett or Alice, but instead she was with Tanya and Irina. It was somewhat of a surprise. They hadn't been on friendly terms, but there was a respect there. Tanya and Irina were passionate fighters. I sometimes forgot how old they were and how much they had already been through. They fought with a ruthlessness we all admired, including the wolves. Carlisle suspected it had a lot to do with their adoptive mother. They were finally getting a chance at revenge for their mother's crime. She had created an immortal child thousands of years ago, and she paid the price with her own life thanks to the Volturi and their laws. The Volturi's cowardice and betrayal had ignited a fire inside the three sisters and they made a pact to fight for their mother's honor.
"They're talking," Jasper said, just as surprised as I was.
"I don't think they like each other much, but they respect one another, which is more than I could have hoped for." Bella was also a fierce competitor, even without her powers. Garrett had taught her well, and Tanya seemed to enjoy how Bella handed me my ass every time we fought. I was still training with her, having to relearn how to fight and read body language, instead of anticipating my opponent's moves through their thoughts. It was an entirely new process for me, and everyone had taken some pleasure in my thrashings from Bella.
Jasper laughed, clapping me on the shoulder. "It's more than any of us could have. Strange how things work out."
The rest of the walk back to the house was accomplished in silence as we watched our family's interactions. Jasper managed to catch one of my longing looks in Bella's direction.
"She'll come around," he said. "It's all a bit much for her right now."
"Will she?"
"She has a lot of pressure, more than anyone," he said.
"Bella thinks this is her fault, that if she'd killed Maria when she had the chance, none of this would be happening."
"Then you have to convince her otherwise." Jasper chuckled. "I could say the same thing. If I'd killed Maria when she had turned me, then all of this would have been avoided. We can't change the past, Edward. What's done is done. You know that, so does she. If the two of you keep dwelling there, then we don't stand a chance."
"She's pushing away."
"Then pull her back. Have you already forgotten what I told you in Montana? Bella's a fighter, a warrior, now. Treat her like one. You're letting her walk all over you again. It's not about her, or you, or any of us. This is so much bigger than that."
I stopped in my tracks, listening to some familiar voices, which were quite a distance away. Jasper was right; this definitely was bigger than us and those visitors were here to prove just that. Jasper, alarmed by my hesitation, waited for me to explain.
"Charlie and Seth are at the house, and they're not alone."
"Who's with them?"
"Bella's not going to like this," I said, shaking my head, and rushing ahead to tell the others.
All twenty-five of us crossed the creek, but only some went around to the front of the house where Charlie, Seth, Billy, Sam, Sue and Leah were waiting on the steps. They were chilled to the bone having waited so long outside in the cold. Esme and Carmen sprung into action, ordering Emmett and Rosalie to get the fires going to heat the house. They ushered the visitors inside without even thinking, while the rest of us hung back near the creek watching and wondering what their presence could mean. Charlie had made a promise to Bella not to tell anyone else about her survival, but it looked like he had broken that promise or he never would have brought Sue and Leah to the house.
"Why are they here?" Bella asked me.
"They want to talk," I said, "to everyone. That's all I know."
"I'm sorry, Bella," Jacob confessed, "I had to tell Leah about you, about everything, and there isn't much she doesn't share with her mom. Charlie never betrayed you, if that's what you're thinking, it was me. I never thought they would come here, though. This is as much of a shock to me."
"Who else knows?" she asked.
"Not a soul other than the people who are here. This is it. My pack's been ordered not to say anything, so they can't even if they want to."
"Edward, Jacob," Carlisle said from the back porch, "Charlie and Sam would like to speak to all of us."
"Sam?" Jacob said. "Why would he…" Jacob mumbled a curse under his breath and I followed suit.
"What?" Bella asked gripping my hand.
"I don't think you're going to like this very much."
The three of us reluctantly walked to the front of the house and met Leah and Seth in the driveway. They were struggling to lift two wooden crates out of the back of the truck.
"Leah, what are you doing here?" Jacob said between gritted teeth.
She looked up and her eyes caught site of Bella. She straightened, smoothing down her clothes and hair with nervous fingers. Ignoring Jacob, Leah jumped down from the bed of the truck and walked toward Bella, stretching out her hand. She was apprehensive about it, everyone could see that, but she did her best to hide her anxiety.
"Bella," she said. "My brother has told me lots about you…" she smiled and then added, "little sister." The shock was evident on Bella's face. She had never thought of Seth or Leah as siblings, but here was Leah making the effort to include her as one of the family. "I've never had a sister, and it'll be a welcome change from him." She pointed to Seth, who, along with Jacob, stood with his mouth open, bewildered by this rare show of affection coming from Leah.
Bella glanced at me with questioning eyes. I smiled, giving her an encouraging nod, and then she took hold of Leah's hand, shaking it in return.
"We have lots to catch up on, but not today," Leah said. "Charlie has other plans for today." Letting go of Bella's hand, she turned to Jacob and me. "Are you two just going to stand there, or you going to help bring in these crates? What's the point of super strength if you don't use it?"
Yeah, she's always like this, Jacob said, when I looked at him skeptically. Lifting one of the boxes, he tried to catch a peek inside. "What's in them?" Jacob asked, finally finding his voice. "And you never answered my question. You shouldn't be here."
Again, Leah ignored him and started toward the house. "They're waiting," she said. "And I'm freezing."
From Seth's thoughts, I could see the crates were full of papers, maps and books, and I caught a glimpse of Charlie's absurd plans.
Once inside, the house was chaos, a party in full swing as Esme dished out food to the humans while ordering the others to pour drinks for everyone. She had never been happier. The younger wolves were kept entertained in the living room by Tanya and her family, while the rest of us gathered in Carlisle's study waiting to hear what the humans had come to say. As I stepped through the door, I caught Jasper's eye while he stood in the corner with Alice. She was rubbing his shoulder in sympathetic circles while he took everyone's emotions in check. I had to do the same, filtering through the onslaught of chatter in the room and in my head. Bella gripped my hand, and I focused on the feel of it in mine. I wasn't sure if it was her, or her powers, but somehow holding on to her helped lessen the frenzied thoughts circling around the room. We'd have to explore that further, I thought absently.
Everyone was settled as much as they could, and Carlisle asked the pertinent question.
"Charlie, we're happy to have you here, but I thought we agreed you would stay away from the house?" He cast a side glance to Bella and then to Sue and Leah, before turning back to Charlie, waiting for his response.
"Well, we've been thinking…" Charlie said, scratching his moustache.
"We've got it under control, old man," Jacob said, gritting his teeth.
Walking past Jacob, Charlie gave Bella a quick kiss on her forehead before taking the center of the room. "No, we don't think you do. Would you mind?" Charlie pointed to the crates, asking me to place them on Carlisle's desk in front of him. I obliged, but only so I could try and stop this before it went any further.
"You know none of them will go for this," I whispered to him. "It'll never happen."
"We have to try," he said patting my shoulder.
"Is someone gonna tell the rest of us who are in the dark, what this is about?" Emmett crossed his arms, leaning up against a bookshelf. "You know how I much I love these silent conversations. I already kicked your ass this morning, Edward, don't make me do it again." There were a few chuckles around the room, no one more than Seth who had come to stand beside Charlie and had started taking a few books out of the crates.
"Well," Seth said, "while you guys have been busy pissing off the wrong vamps and trying to hide it from us…" Seth gave me a curt nod. Not everyone needs to be a mind reader to know the truth, he said only to me before continuing. "We've been doing some research." Pulling out some papers, he spread them across the table. There were maps of the area in and around Forks, especially the old landing strip the compound was on. "We think you should bring the fight here."
The room was engulfed in silence; a void while everyone thought they misheard him.
"We can get the upper hand by knowing the terrain and planning for a battle. We make the stand here," Seth said, pointing to a deserted field near the compound fence. "Together." Everyone's minds were quiet, too, like a calm before the storm. It was only a few seconds and then Emmett was the first to break. He started to laugh but the rest of us were too shocked to join him.
"Charlie," Emmett said, "sorry, but you want to fight? With us? Against an army of vampires?"
"We do," Seth said, and this time everyone did laugh, even the wolves.
"No offense, kid," Emmett said, "but all you'll do is get yourself killed. This isn't your fight."
"But don't you see? It is!" Seth said. His voice was raised and his hands were gripped in tight fists, wanting to be taken seriously. "More than it is yours!"
"Seth," Carlisle said in his placating doctor tone. "We love that you want to help. You have no idea what it means to us, but we can't allow you to risk your lives like this."
"Risk?" Seth said. "It's our lives you're trying to protect. It's you who shouldn't be risking your lives for us!"
"You can't be serious," Jacob scoffed.
"And why not?" Billy spoke up. "We have as much right as you do."
"What are you going to do, old man?" Jacob folded his arms, facing off with his wheelchair bound father. "What can you possibly do?"
"There's lots we can do," Sam said in defense of Billy.
Throughout this whole exchange thus far, Charlie had been quiet, letting the others speak while he stared at his daughter, listening intently to the arguments. He was waiting for his opportunity, thinking about the best way to approach this with a reasonable and logical argument for their case. The room had exploded into a heated discussion, everyone speaking over the other with Jacob and Seth yelling the loudest.
Bella squeezed my hand, and I looked down at her, but her gaze was locked onto her father. They were having their own conversation with their eyes.
"Don't do this," she whispered, but she was easily heard over the others.
"I have to," Charlie said. "I've a score to settle."
"Dad," Bella said, stepping forward, releasing her tight grip on my hand. Everyone in the room stopped shouting and watched father and daughter have a very personal conversation in a very public forum. "Be reasonable. You're human…there's nothing you can do against one of us. You have to stay here, protect the people here, that's your job. That's always been your job."
"My only job is being a father. That's what I am and that's what I'll do. You're my daughter. You're my responsibility."
She moved like lightening. It was only a few steps, but in the blink of an eye, Bella was behind her father and had grabbed his arms, pinning them behind him. Jacob took an automatic step forward, so did Alice, but both were stopped by a calculating look from Bella. "You don't get it. This isn't a game! It's not about getting the bad guys like you used to! You can't fight us. You'll be lambs to the slaughter."
She wasn't gripping him hard, but for a split second I saw the terror cross his face, but then it was gone and resolve washed over his expression. He didn't struggle, and he let her have power over him. He sought Carlisle, hoping he would be the voice of reason through all this.
"What happens when you're gone? How do we defend ourselves without you here to help? Without you we don't stand a chance. There's nothing. If we don't learn to do for ourselves we lose everything, and any hope we had disappears with you. The compound is strong, the people are strong. We need to believe in a future, and there's none for anybody unless we do this. We make a stand here, together."
Bella let her father go, seeking Garrett for support.
"No disrespect, sir," he said, "but Bella's right. There's nothing you and your walls can do to stop one of us. There's not a helluva lot that will."
"Emmett," Seth said, stepping into the center of the room, "what's the one thing you told me that can harm your kind?"
"Wolves," Quil said and the rest of us couldn't help but laugh.
"Well, yeah, but you said it was fire," Seth said. Reaching for some papers on the desk, he held them up in his hand, and then he reached for an old History text book from the high school. "We've been researching. We fight old school, like back in the old days before weapons and guns since they'll do nothing to help us. Fires, arrows, tar…hell, I bet Eric and Tyler could rig up trebuchets with your help."
"Trebu-what?" Quil asked.
Every one of my family was working through Seth's proposal. They knew exactly what he had in mind, and I could see it all play out in his head as he quickly opened the book, flipping through pages until he found what he was looking for.
"There," he said, pointing to a hand drawn picture of a giant wooden mechanism with a counterweight on one end and a long arm stretching outward. "It's like a catapult, but better. In ancient times they used to hurl large stones or even bodies over city walls." Seth's mind started to veer off in another direction, and I wanted to stop him before he went too far off track, but Emmett beat me to it.
"Seth, stones won't stop vampires."
"I know that, but oilskin bags on fire and filled with tar will," he said chuckling. The minds in the room switched to that image. We all smiled as we thought it through. It wasn't a solid plan, but it was more than anything the fourteen of us had come up with.
"Think about it," Seth said pleading with us. "They won't expect it! We'll take them by surprise, and that's all you'll need. Even if we get through the first round assault, it'll be just enough time to get Bella where she needs to be."
"No," Bella said, her voice hard and final. "We stick to the plan. Keep this as far away from Forks as possible."
"If you fail, they'll be coming for us eventually," Billy said. "We'll be the diversion you need," he looked at his son, "that all of you need. Jake, I'm not about to sit back and let you go to your death and neither is Charlie. None of us are." His eyes shifted over to Leah, and Jacob's thoughts turned angry with fear.
"No way," Jacob said. "I'm with Bella on this. It's not a risk I'm willing to take, and no one else will, either. You can't help us."
There wasn't a consensus in the room at Jacob's words. A few people shifted on their feet and a couple of the wolves cleared their throats. Some of us were intrigued by the idea of bringing an element of surprise to the fight. They wanted to hear more of the plan Charlie and the others had laid out. The room was silent for a good full minute while everyone thought of what kind of outcome their help could bring.
"Alice?" Carlisle eventually said. Shrugging her shoulders, she was still helpless with the wolves' involvement.
"You can't be serious!" Bella crossed her arms, glaring at Carlisle. "You're actually willing to listen to them?"
"Bella," he said, "we should explore every option."
"They. Can't. Help. Us. It would be suicide."
The arguments exploded around the room, and the voices thundered inside my head as everyone weighed in their opinions. Some were speaking out loud, and some were yelling silently, outraged by other's comments. Eventually I placed my hands over my ears and yelled for them to stop.
"I can't have you all screaming like this," I said. "Please, one at a time. Let's discuss this rationally." Jasper, having stood in the corner, away from everyone, was itching to let his opinion be heard. Out of everyone, he was the only one who hadn't been arguing over all the others; instead he had been observing everyone else in the room. "Jasper?" I asked. "You've got the most experience when it comes to strategy. I think you should go first."
Giving me a grim look, he told me I wasn't going to like what he had to say, but he also knew how serious this was and he wasn't taking any of it lightly. He would examine every angle, and make his recommendations once all resources had been exhausted.
"Bella," Jasper said, pushing off from the wall. "They make some good points, and they have a right to speak. I think we should at least hear them out."
"Coward," she spat out.
"Bella!" Alice said. "How can—" Jasper put a hand on Alice's arm. We all knew Jasper was no coward, and so did Bella. Fear had a hold on her, and wasn't about to let her go just yet.
"If any of you are afraid to fight Maria," Bella looked around the room, "then it's best we get it out now."
Clenching his Jaw, Jasper took another step toward Bella. "You of all people know I'm no coward, Bella, and I'll forgive you that allowance because of what I feel coming from you. The truth is, we stand a better chance with all the help we can get. Their plan is good…well, I think it's plausible at least. Let's hear them out, study it, and then make a decision."
"It'll be a decision that will sign their death warrants," she said. I reached for her hand, but she shook me off. "I shouldn't have stayed this long. I'm going to meet Maria, the rest of you can stay here. She won't come here, not if I go."
"Nix," Garrett said, "don't do this."
"She'll come eventually," Jasper said.
"You don't know that!"
"Yes, I do. And so do you." Jasper's jaw was tight, and he wasn't going to make this easy on Bella. This was going to be an argument that no one was going to win because either way, people were going to die. It was just a matter of how many. "When she's done tearing up the South, she'll move north. I was with her much longer than either of you." He looked from Garrett to Bella, his gaze lingering on her. "I know her far better, too. How she thinks. What she wants. Sorry, Bella, but a decade's worth is nothing compared to what I got on her. She's never been one to rest. Always driven by greed, and she'll never be satisfied until she has the power she's always wanted, and now there's no one to stop her." Jasper was standing directly in front of Bella, forcing her to look at him. "She won't quit."
"I say we hear their plans," Emmett piped up, tired of being left out of the conversation. "I'll give you a go, kid, but only 'cause you've drawn those pretty pictures." He chucked Seth on the shoulder, giving him a brief smile.
Bella was outnumbered for the moment, so we moved the discussion to the living room to accommodate everyone else. If we were going to make a decision, everyone deserved to be heard if it was their life on the line. It was going to come down to a vote, which was how we always settled things in this family, and with thirty-one votes representing vampire, wolf and human, it was going to be the most remarkable, yet solemn, decision ever presented across our table.
Listening to Charlie and Seth proved to be difficult. They were passionate with what they had discovered, obviously having done their research, and they had planned everything right down to the last detail. The young ones and the elderly who were unable to fight would be moved to Alaska, where Tanya's family had a spot for them. Anyone who didn't wish to fight would take their leave as well. Charlie was adamant no one should be forced into something they didn't want to do. It was a good and solid strategy, right down to the fields being covered in deep pits and oil, ready to be lit on fire. Sam and Billy even explored the history on their distant ancestors to the north, devising something as simple as a 'buffalo jump' type trap which would draw the newborns in with blood, trading a cliff for a pit filled with oil. It wasn't easy listening to them and how committed they were to helping. Even Sue had planned to stay with her daughter and assist with the wounded if it came to that. They were willing to lay down their lives to help their loved ones and friends, which seemed to include us. It was clear they needed to fight.
"We don't intend to speak for everyone at the compound," Sam said, "and maybe no one will feel as we do, so none of this will matter. But we do have the right for our voices to be heard. It's our futures, the future of our children, not yours. I gave up my right to stand alongside my wolf brothers ten years ago, but that doesn't mean I gave up my right to fight with them. None of us got a chance to stop what happened when the bombs dropped. We were forced into this life. Don't make us go through that again and be forced into a far worse fate than death. Give us the choice. Don't take it away from us."
It was the most any of us ever heard come out of Sam's mouth. Sue started to cry, and she pulled him into a desperate hug, thanking him for speaking the words she had wanted to say. Leah looked over her mother's shoulder at Jacob, who seemed to have lost his tongue since we moved into the living room. Standing in the corner, he towered over everyone with his height and his presence. His shoulders were set, and so was his jaw with his nostrils flared while he glared back at Leah. Only I knew the terror he was feeling at the idea of losing Leah or his family.
"We have a lot to think about," Carlisle said, bringing the room back to what was important. "We must think carefully about this, but there is one thing that Sam has brought up which needs to be addressed." He took a moment to look at his family, seeking out each one of them. "The truth of what we are, what we all are, will have to come out. I don't think the people are ready for that."
"Better now," Billy said, "than monsters in the night catching them unawares. You let us worry about what our people are ready for or not."
Carlisle sighed, leaning forward on his elbows. This decision was proving to be very difficult for him. He wanted to believe that his God had put the humans on this path and wanted us to accept their help, but his instincts told him it was futile. He didn't want their deaths on his hands. He struggled with what was laid out before him.
They are stronger than us, he said to me with his head still bowed. Their will might as well be made of iron, for it can't be bent. They're so very fragile, but they choose not to accept it. Edward, I cannot make this choice. None of us can know what the right decision is. I do know, from History's sake, exclusion is never the answer. For a society to progress, for change to happen, inclusion is the only way forward. There is no wrong or right in this, only a way forward to hope. Hope has no boundaries, it has no limitations. We cannot deny these people their hope. He paused, raising his eyes to meet mine. They have included us into their world, how can we not do the same with ours?
I wondered why he was only speaking to me. He should be speaking out loud to everyone. What he was thinking made sense to me, even if I wasn't sure I agreed, but perhaps others would gain some clarity from his words. I almost repeated what he said, but I stopped when my head caught up to my heart. I felt myself sinking as I realized why Carlisle was only speaking to me. It wouldn't matter if the others heard what he said. They had already made up their minds.
I began to feel sick, panicking about what this would mean. A heaviness washed over me, sinking its claws into my shoulders, pushing me back down into the abyss I used to live in. On the other side of the room—surrounded by Jacob, Garrett and Rosalie—sat Bella, and she seemed so very far away from me.
The humans made up six of the 'yes' votes, while each of the wolves made up eleven of the 'no' votes. They were a collective unit and not one of them would go against Jacob even if he gave them leave to do so. They saw themselves as the protectors of the compound. Not only did they not wish to reveal their secret to the rest of the humans, they would never lead the vampires here, to their people. As for my family, the vampire vote, there wouldn't be many surprises. Bella was adamantly going to vote no, and Garrett would take her side. The other two against the decision were Rosalie and Alice. Alice, because she didn't want to see anyone else get hurt, especially Bella and Charlie, and Rosalie more for selfish reasons. She didn't want the humans knowing what she was, and didn't wish to face the possible rejection from her students and their parents once they found out. As for the rest of the family, it was purely a strategic decision. They saw the benefit in Charlie and Seth's plans. At twenty-nine potential votes cast, it came down to Carlisle and me. Carlisle knew his family well enough without having to read their minds to know what their decisions would be.
I was the swing vote.
I'm sorry, Edward, Carlisle said. I cannot be their judge and jury. If they want to fight, I cannot be the one to deny them their dignity. God, forgive me.
I was the goddamned swing vote.
He was apologizing to me because he knew the decision I would be facing. Because of who I was and what I could do, I would see both sides of the argument, and not be biased to an opinion so easily. It wasn't fair this was going to be put on my shoulders, but regardless, it had been. My vote would be the only one that mattered because I knew how everyone was going to vote.
Did I vote to keep Bella happy, and do a disservice to Seth and Charlie? Or did I vote to be selfish, wanting whatever little help could be offered our way even it was most likely useless and would only cause the deaths of so many?
Their plan was good. It was logical and might work to an extent, even more so with how Jasper, Eleazar, and even Emmett planned to make improvements on it. If they could distract Maria's army just enough to get us to Emilia, we had a fighting chance.
It meant going against Bella.
"I can't do this," I said, leaving the room. I didn't go far, only to the kitchen, but I couldn't face them right now. I couldn't have them looking at me while Carlisle cast the redundant vote. With all of their thoughts and influences invading my own, their obtrusive stares would add even more pressure.
Carlisle's melancholy voice was easily heard through the walls asking for everyone's decision. At first they didn't understand why I left, but as the verdict became clear, it wasn't difficult to figure it out, and it was evident what each of them wanted me to do.
"Let him be," Carlisle said, grabbing Esme's arm as she started for the door. He looked around the room daring anyone to defy him. You'll do what's right, Edward. What's in your heart, he said to me.
They all expressed their opinions, trying to coax me to their side. Jacob and Rosalie were the loudest, arguing how wrong it was to bring the fight here. There was Jasper and Eleazar who wanted me to see the potential in the strategy laid before us all. And then there was Charlie. I saw the rage in him. His daughter was taken from him violently, and I could sympathize with his pain. I knew what it meant to want vengeance. How could I be the one to take that away from him? He had suffered just as much as the rest of us, if not more. He was a proud man, and I respected him, and I daresay I loved him. I knew he would find a way to follow us if we denied him this. The plan had potential and he wanted me to see it, but more importantly, he wanted me to see what it meant to him.
Edward, he said, she's my daughter.
Even as the twenty-nine voices rattled around in my brain, there was only one voice I was desperate to hear. Bella was going to expect me to do the right thing, but what if our definitions of that were different? Would she understand? Walking back into the living room, I sought her out. My heart was breaking in two as I scanned everyone's expectant faces. She was standing with Garrett across the room, his arm draped around her, trying to keep her calm. There was a malicious look of defiance in her eyes which seemed to bore into my very soul. I knew my eyes held an apology, one reserved only for her.
"Don't," she said. "Don't betray me again." Her words cut deep, like a serrated knife twisting its way back and forth.
"You break my heart, Bella."
"You don't have one, remember?" She was gone before I even had a chance to explain my reasoning. There were collective gasps from everyone as they figured out what my vote was. Some were happy, and some were not, but everyone respected the method of our family democracy.
"I'm on it," Garrett said, following Bella. For the record, Edward, you're braver than I ever gave you credit for. It's the right decision even if I couldn't see it.
Bella's words had stung. There was no use denying the damage they had done. She'd meant it to hurt and those few words were anything but simple. She thought I had betrayed her...again. It was never going to end. I thought we were beyond the past, but here she was throwing it back in my face. She couldn't see past her own stubborn self. It was the best chance we had. Casting another element of surprise, other than the wolves, put us at an advantage.
'Every person had a right to make their own decisions.' Wasn't this the biggest lesson I learned from Bella? I left her because I couldn't trust her to choose her own life. I chose it for her, and now she was punishing me for allowing Charlie and the others to do the same.
"Don't be a martyr, Edward," Rosalie said from behind me. "Stop wallowing and go after her. It's what she wants."
"No, it isn't."
"Of course it is." She grabbed my arm, turning me around. "Do you honestly think she's going to keep running? You're as stupid and selfish as she is."
"Rosalie—"
"Well, you are. You both are. We're fighting for our lives here, and you two are fighting with each other. Stop letting her push you around. You've got more at stake here than she does. We're your family, Edward, and we're the ones who will die for you, not her."
"It's never as simple as you always think it is."
"We voted, and a decision was made. It's how we do things in this family whether we like it or not. If she wants to be a part of this family, then she has to learn she can't always have her way and neither can you." She smacked me on the cheek and went off in search of Emmett.
Rosalie never pulled any punches. She voted against this, but she had already accepted the outcome and moved on. This wasn't Bella's decision, and it wasn't mine, it was all of ours. It was a difficult swing vote, but it was the right one. Going against Bella was one of the boldest things I could ever do. If the same vote had been proposed weeks ago, I would have sided with Bella even though it would have been the wrong choice. She was headstrong, but so was I. She could scream at me and run from me all she wanted to, but it still wouldn't change anything. We were one, and I'd take whatever she wanted to dish out, good or bad, and I'd make sure she would, too.
In the past ten years, love was something of a mystery to me. I loved each and every one of my family, and they loved me, but it was easy to say under the circumstances we had been through. Aro had said fear brought on loyalty, and maybe it was true. We feared what was coming, which in turn made us all loyal to one another. But fear wouldn't make you follow someone to your own death. Only love would do that. Bella vowed to fight until the end, until Maria and Emilia were eliminated, and the family would fight alongside her, risking everything for her...for me. We had all been tested over the years, each on our own paths, and we had all passed. Standing united as one—vampire, wolf, and even human—was the last test.
This idea of family was something new and unexpected for Bella. Even as a human she was passed from one parent to another, and in the past ten years all she knew was failure and desperation. She had been alone for so long that the idea of someone wanting to fight for her—fight with her—was lost on her. She couldn't see past her isolation and celebrate what this actually meant. Hope was reborn. Maybe Carlisle was right, and this was God's helping hand.
I willed my feet forward, following after Garrett through the kitchen and to the back porch. Bella hadn't gotten far, just over the creek bed. It was the same spot Jacob had found her when she tried to run weeks ago. Maybe Bella would never feel settled here. I was pushing her to be a part of this family, but perhaps she wasn't ready for the idea of a family and arguments, or having a voice that counted toward a common goal. She had guarded herself from everything over the last ten years, pushing away any emotion that would lead to pain, and there was no doubt she was in pain right now. I recognized it even if she couldn't. She was terrified she would be left alone to carry on with her grief. She didn't want to care for any of these people, because it would be too much to bear to have to do it alone. I finally understood what the words in her journal meant, about her true fear. It wasn't losing me, or Garrett or anyone else she loved, it was being the last one left alive.
It was much easier to face her now that I understood this, even if she was scowling at me while I slowly made my way across the yard. Garrett had Bella by the arms telling her she was being unreasonable if she thought she could leave.
"My mind is made up," she said glaring at me and struggling to get out of Garrett's grip.
"If you really wanted to leave," I said, "Garrett wouldn't be able to stop you. None of us could."
"I'm going."
"Is that going to be your M.O., now?" I asked. "When things don't go the way you want them to, you're going to run?"
"I learned from the best, didn't I?"
"Stop looking for excuses to be the first one to leave, Bella. None of us are going anywhere, especially not me."
"No, you're all going to die!" She broke free of Garrett's grasp. "I'll never forgive you for this," she said, and it was as though she had slapped me across the cheek.
"Bells!" Charlie yelled from the porch, catching her attention. Now she looked like a cornered animal who was about to flee or lash out. He called her name again, and then she turned her back on us, starting to walk away. "Isabella Marie Swan! You stop right there. I'm still your father, and you will listen to me."
It was wrong of me to smile, but I did. She was acting like a child, so he was going to treat her like one. Of course my smile gained no favors from Bella, and she cursed at me before facing her father.
"I have nothing more to say to either of you." She crossed her arms.
"Well, that's fine 'cause I've got plenty to say to you." He crossed his arms, matching Bella's defiance. Garrett and I felt like intruders who shouldn't be witnesses to this, so we started to back away toward the house, but Charlie's arm shot out, keeping me in place. "Edward, you stay right there."
"I'm gonna go see a woman about a deer..." Garrett said, smiling, poking his thumb to the house before leaving the three of us alone.
"Charlie, I don't want to hear it," Bella said.
"Too bad. I'm done listening to you, so now you're gonna hear your old man out," Charlie began. "For weeks I've played by your rules but only 'cause I was just so damn happy to see you. Well, I've had enough. You're my daughter and I still have some rights. I've never been much for feelings, especially with you, and I regret that. Things might've been different if I hadn't been such a coward and sent you away with your mother. It was the biggest mistake I ever made, letting her take you from me, but now I've been given this second chance, and I'm not about to screw it up and let you walk away from me again. For years I wished for death, I think that's something you both can relate to." He cleared his throat before he continued. "There was a reason we were all spared. It was for this moment. Everything we all went through was building toward this. Something drove us all apart and then brought us back together, stronger and more capable. I don't believe in much, but I do believe in that. I'll not stand by and watch the people I care about die. I failed to protect you once, I won't be that man again."
"But you can't protect me, not from this. It's ridiculous to be having this conversation with you. I can pick you up and toss you twenty feet in the air."
"Yeah, well, I can still pick you up and put you over my knee, too."
I couldn't stop myself this time, and I tried to stifle my laughs, but it only came out in a snort. Bella cut me a wicked glare.
"I'm a desperate man, Bells. Desperate men do desperate things. I'd rather die fighting beside you than go through life without doing what a father should."
"Da—" she started. "Charlie, you have a family. You need to think of them."
If he was hurt by her choice of words, he didn't let it show. "I am, Bells. I am." Placing his hand on her shoulder, he said, "You've got to let this notion go that you're alone. I failed you, but I won't this time." Charlie surprised me by putting his other hand on my shoulder. "Bells," he said, "you're not alone, you never were. Stop pushing us away because you're scared. If you want someone to blame, blame me. You've got a good man here, a man I'd be proud to consider a son. He loves you more than anything in this world, so stop torturing him."
She was fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. I was getting used to her signs, and she did it when she was overwhelmed with her emotions.
"I'll follow you if you go," Charlie said, "so get that out of your head right now."
"If I...If I lose you..."
"Then you'll know I loved you." He pulled her into a hug, and despite the strength I knew she had, she seemed fragile in his arms.
"Edward," Charlie said, "I'd like to borrow Bella from you for a bit. Can you spare some time away?" I saw her stiffen in his arms. I wasn't sure if it was the idea of spending time alone with me or Charlie, either way, it made her uncomfortable. "I want you to come with me to the compound."
"Why? So I can meet people who'll be dead in months?" Her caustic voice was all bark and no bite. We both knew she didn't mean it.
"You don't have to meet anyone. It'll be dark soon, so no one needs to know you're there unless you want them to. I've not come to terms with what you went through, Bella, I don't think I ever will. You've been surrounded by death and violence which would cripple the best of men. I think you need a little perspective. Understand why I need to fight, why Seth wants to. It's not just for the sake of it, or 'cause we're bored. We've got a helluva lot to fight for and you need to see that."
-:-
I SAT AT THE piano with my arms resting on the top. I had yet to play a note. I wasn't sure why I sat down, but something about Alice's vision of Christmas Eve triggered something in me. I vowed I'd never play again, and yet I was in Alice's vision. It seemed foreign to me, and when I tried to rest my fingers on the keys, I couldn't. Each time I went to play, my fingers hovered above the black and white, shaking, and too afraid to settle on the ivory. My family had left me alone since Bella took her leave with Charlie. He asked for some alone time with her, wanting to show her the compound himself. Pride was never something I'd associate with Charlie, but he was proud to show his daughter what they had accomplished. She was still furious with me, so I was glad to give her the space she needed. She didn't even say goodbye to me before she left. Despite Charlie's interference, I feared she would never forgive me.
I heard the Humvee coming up the driveway. When Charlie radioed to let us know Bella was on her way, I wanted to rush out and meet her, but Alice assured me she would be fine, and that she needed to be alone on the drive home. Having the answers before the actions were put into place was going to take some time to get used to again. None of us had any assumptions as to why Alice's visions returned, or why they chose that particular moment to come back. Carlisle said the brain was a wondrous thing and healing was a long process. Perhaps all this time, Alice was stuck in her own grief, but only that part of her brain knew it. It was difficult to say, but she was back, and as arrogant as ever with all that power and knowledge. She still couldn't see the wolves or their futures, which meant Carlisle's theory was more than likely correct. Their futures were blocked to us, like a defense mechanism. Either way, with or without her visions, I trusted Alice when it came to understanding Bella and what she needed.
Her familiar scent hit me the moment she entered the house. Without turning around, I knew she was behind me standing in the doorway. My entire body called to her, wanting to jump up from the bench and go to her—pin her beneath me. I fought against the urge, hoping she would come to me, and make the decision to be with me. To forgive me.
I never heard her move, only felt the whisper of her touch at the base of my neck. Then I felt her warm breath as she whispered in my ear.
"Play it," she said. "Just this once. For me."
The sweet scent of freesia was the only thing I understood as a shiver went down my spine. It was instinct what came next. My fingers found the keys, and the first notes of her lullaby filled the room. I hit every note. I never faltered once, not even when she sat down beside me and rested her head on my shoulder. When the last note was played, I lifted my hands, and rested them on my thighs. We sat like that for what could have been hours. There was an understanding here…between us. She was angry with me, but the two of us didn't have a choice anymore. We would always come back to one another.
"Marry me."
There was no reaction to the words said aloud. I only knew it felt right coming from her lips. The compound had a way of showing the dichotomy of love, the push and pull of this dangerous new world, and there was still beauty to be found in it. What the people had built was nothing short of miraculous. The families, the connections, it played at the heartstrings. I had felt it on my first visit—it was difficult not to.
Charlie had been right. Bella needed to see what it all meant, that there was purpose in knowing people and being known...being loved.
"I'll marry you tonight," I said.
"If we married, would you feel your life is complete?"
"And then some."
"Then no, not tonight," she whispered. "When this is all over." We sat for a moment, and as I thought about her words, I understood her even though she went on to explain. "Marrying you shouldn't be a goodbye, Edward. It should be a celebration. I don't want us to think our life is complete, that it's okay for either one of us to die, because it's not. There are so many things I want, but mostly I want to live so I can make a life with you. I choose you, Edward, and if making a stand here is the best way I can have you, I'll accept it."
If I could have read Bella's mind, I would have seen all of the wonders Charlie would have shown her. He would have taken her to Leah's clinic, and to the school where Rosalie taught Mathematics and Science to the children. Under the cover of darkness he would have shown her the windmills Eric and Tyler had been building. She would have seen the lanterns lit up, glowing softly on the colorful houses. He would have taken her to Esme and Carlisle's house and shown her the sign the community painted for them. And lastly, he would let her steal a peek at baby Isabella, her namesake. Bella would have seen it all, and there was no refuting it when she spoke her next words.
"We'll destroy her. We have to."
-:-