After.
Chapter Seventeen: A meeting
"The Commander has entered the Briefing Room with Staff-Commander Alenko without prior scheduling of a meeting, Jeff," EDI reported, causing Joker to shoot the hologram a side-glance.
"And I care...because?"
"My data suggests that you take particular interest in the activities of Commander Gaz Shepard and Staff-Commander Kaidan Alenko, Jeff."
"So you are telling me this because you think I'd like to know?"
"Yes."
Joker rose a brow, "You're doing that 'too much intelligence' thing again, EDI."
"The performance of the Normandy depends on the bond that you and I share, Jeff."
"Getting kinda creepy, EDI."
"Performing tasks that make you trust me allows you and I to work together seamlessly – which causes the ship to fly at a high proficiency, Jeff."
"If your holographic display turns to boobs, I'm leaving."
"That would be inappropriate, Jeff."
Joker laughed under his breath, and shook his head, as his mind wandered to the briefing room.
"Yeoman Chambers is approaching the bridge, Jeff."
"Shit."
"Would you like me to redirect her somewhere else?"
"No it's fine, EDI. I'll deal with this."
The weight of his chair shifted, as Kelly haphazardly leaned all her weight against it.
"Kelly," he greeted.
"Hi Joker."
"The crazies on the ship finally stop clawing at the walls?"
"No one on this ship is 'crazy.' There are several people I wouldn't classify as 'stable' though."
"Who?"
"I can't tell you that."
"Jack is obvious. Probably Miranda, Grunt, and...Kaidan? He did come up here glowing like a firefly earlier."
"What?" Kelly, pulled on Joker's chair, causing the pilot to twirl around a bit too fast. His eyes narrowed at the quick movement, before he felt rebalanced.
"Kaidan came up here a bit angsty this morning. I think he got his panties in a bunch or something."
"Did you do something to cause Staff-Commander Alenko distress?"
'You could say that,' Joker thought, internally smiling – before he answered with a flat, "Not really. He's just being all touchy about the Commander and 'what she knows,'" Joker made hand motions similar to that of the Council talking about 'Reapers.'
"Knows about what?"
Joker hated gossip – but he also hated Kaidan.
"Kaidan and Miranda have been getting it on repeatedly for a few nights now."
The Helmsman had never seen a person get so excited about someone else getting laid before in his entire life. The expression on Kelly's face could only be drawn in some sort of lost Japanese art-form. It was...frightening.
"Calm yourself before I have to clean up after you. Or well...Gardner has to clean up after you. Let's keep pee away from the man who cooks us dinner, okay?"
"But Kaidan has displayed hostility towards Cerberus in the past – enough to push away the Commander in the past. Why the change now? Perhaps it was her rejection that made her the 'one who got away' so he began seeking feelings elsewhere? Miranda is a biotic like him. They do have many things in common," Kelly began, making too many hand-movements. Joker could almost feel EDI watching and simply trying to wrap her computer brain around Kelly as a whole.
"Breathe Kelly, breathe..." Joker lifted and lowered his hands with the words – causing Kelly to actually follow his directions.
"I'm okay...I'm okay," Kelly promised, rubbing her head with one hand, "Just exciting news. I don't imagine the Commander will take it well."
Joker simply nodded, not wanting to feed the hungry snake any more information.
–
"Commander," Kaidan greeted, entering the Briefing Room. Shepard was sitting on the table that circled the holographic interface in the middle of the room.
"Our ranks are so close it hardly matters, Alenko."
"Right...sorry Shepard."
"Stop apologizing."
"Okay...but what was the reason for this meeting, Co-" Kaidan rolled his lips in, "Shepard."
"Why are you still on my ship?"
"Excuse me?"
"I appreciate you saving my life. Really – I do. But you're a Spectre. Don't you have things to do?"
Kaidan's eyes dropped to his feet, "Shepard."
"No, you are not 'doing,' me," Gaz replied with a bit of smile to her voice.
"Aw, really?" Kaidan's mood lightened slightly, "Because I thought this strange little meeting was for a quicky on top of the Illusive Man's broken console," his voice biting with sarcasm.
"With my luck we'd hump it back to life and he'd just sit and watch."
"We both perform well under pressure," he shrugged, walking up beside where Shepard was sitting.
"Very true. But if the Illusive Man whips it out and starts jacking to us banging in his holographic display, then I might lose my concentration."
"Yeah...that's probably throw me off a bit too."
"Kaidan – old man penis."
"Yup, that'd be a mood-killer."
Both laughed – a strange amount of sexual tension filling the air.
"So you really want me off your ship, Shepard?"
"I just want to know why you're here, Kaidan."
The man's eyes dropped to his feet, before lifting to meet Shepard's eyes.
"You."
"Me? Thought I wasn't going to make it or something?"
"No."
There was a long pause, as Kaidan took her hand, "I've been spiraling, Shepard. Since your death I feel like my life has been going downhill without any breaks."
"Deep metaphor time, I see."
"Shut up – I'm baring my heart here."
"Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"
"Man Gaz, you've been hanging out with Joker too often," Kaidan smiled, causing the woman to smile warmly – though the warmness wasn't directed at Kaidan.
"Yeah. He's been really great recently."
"Oh?"
"Are you really investigating me right now, Kaidan?"
"I've seen you smile like that before, Shepard."
"I'm not drunk, I swear."
"Not what I'm talking about."
"I did not lick Thane, I swear."
"God dammit, Gaz," Kaidan smiled, tightening his grip on her hand as he glanced over at her, "I missed you."
"I never left, asshole."
"You were dead."
"I got better."
"I was scared to accept that this was you, Gaz. Because I lost you once."
Shepard remained silent – watching the other Commander carefully.
"I don't want to lose you again, Gaz. That's why I've been scared to let you close to me. I spent so much time filling that hole you left, that it seemed almost wrong to reopen that wound again."
His hand rested on her jaw.
"I love you Gaz. I've...never stopped. That's what makes this so hard."
Kaidan stood directly in front of Shepard – his thumb playing with the side of her face slightly.
"I want you back."
Kaidan pulled his face close to hers, but was surprised to feel resistance only about a centimeter from her lips.
"So is that why you fucked Miranda?" Shepard whispered, sending a rush of adrenaline through Kaidan. He quickly backed off – his eyes wide. A slight blue glow emanated off of his body – distorting the air around him.
"You bastard," her voice low, "You pushed me away because I was Cerberus and modified from the original. What do you think that little bitch is out there? She's the extract of everything you hated about my return. Yet you decided to go out on a dinner date with the Cerberus cheerleader? Really? Really?"
"I...I don't know what to-"
"Say something asshole, because I'm just dying to hear your explanation for this."
"Gaz."
"That's Commander to you."
"To be quite honest, it was a rebound. My mind is all screwed up because of everything that happened – then there's this beautiful and easy woman feeding me wine and clawing at me."
"She made passes at you?"
"Yes. I probably brought it on myself. With Cerberus not really being part of this outfit anymore, I somehow talked myself into seeing it as okay."
"Get off my ship."
"I..."
"Get the fuck off of my ship, or I will have you taken by force. And it might not be to a shuttle."
Kaidan's fists balled at his sides, before he stormed out of the room – leaving Shepard alone in silence.
–
AN: Awwww shit! I had to have more Joker/EDI. And EDI/Kelly is neat. While they didn't talk, I have this strange head-canon where EDI is trying to understand the entire crew, and Kelly confuses the shit out of her. I also swear the Kelly/Joker/EDI part is leading somewhere. Not random "OH GOD THIS IS LOTS OF SERIOUS STUFF LET'S THROW IN BOOB HUMOR." Which I did do – but that's beside the point. Also – oh dear God never piss off Shepard. When I first started writing that section, I didn't know how it was going to end. Having been cheated on in the past myself, I know you can't just forget that. So, I decided that Shepard should basically give him a chance to tell her – play along with his little game – then turn it on him the second he takes advantage of the situation. Also notice the parallel between their date in the Dark Star and this. Just interesting. Shepard keeps letting him in then pushing him out – causing him to storm off. Sad. Also – thanks for the reviews! Even the critical ones are helpful. I know I'm painting Kaidan as a super-duper-bad-guy – which is awkward because I really don't hate Kaidan. I see him as someone who's spiraling. He clawing at life desperately trying to find things, but ends up screwing himself over every time he finds something to cling to. I do feel bad for him, because – again – I've been in a similar situation where you just KEEP screwing yourself over – and when you look back you just go, 'Shit I suck at people.' Things will be getting more actiony and less soap-opera-esk soon, I promise. And thank any of you who have read every word of this. It really does mean a lot.
Rated M for: Language, future sexual situations, future violence, and so I can have freedom without fear of scarring a teen for life.
Oh – and I don't own anything ever.