After.
Chapter Eighteen: Effect
"She kicked you out?"
"Yup."
"Off of the ship?"
"She...threatened to throw me out of the airlock."
"Why?"
"She knows, Miranda," Kaidan pacing back and forth across her room paused – making eye-contact with the woman.
"Did you tell her?"
"What? No. No! Of course not."
"Then how does she know, Kaidan?" Miranda's voice even as she sat on the edge of her bed – her arms crossed across her chest, "It's not like we're very public about this."
"I know..."
"Then how does she know, Kaidan?" Miranda's voice rose slightly in volume, causing Kaidan's brows to lower slightly in annoyance.
"Joker."
"The pilot?"
"Yes."
"How the hell does he know?"
"He saw us go on our dinner date."
"He told the Commander about seeing us walk in a similar direction and she threatened to throw you out of the airlock?" Miranda's eyes narrowed, "Maybe I failed in the reconstruction of that woman's brain..."
"I..." Kaidan's vision lowered to his feet, "No. Joker knew from me."
"From you?" her voice low – hurt even, "Why would you tell Joker? It seems like every time you two are together there's nearly a fight."
"It's a long story."
"Tell me."
"Why does it matter?"
"Because this is an issue that directly involves and comprises my relationship with the Commander. I considered her a friend – but now I'll be surprised if that woman will even cast me a side-glance."
"If you cared about your 'relationship' with Gaz so much, why did you sleep with me?"
There was a beat of silence – a slight glow appeared around Miranda. It was faint – since she was decent at controlling her emotions. But it was still very much there.
"This was a mistake. All of this," she whispered, leaning her head on her left hand, "This is why I don't get involved with people. I don't understand them."
"Miranda..." Kaidan took a step towards Miranda – reaching for her shoulder.
"Don't," she biotic-pushed him back slightly, causing the man to nearly lose his balance.
"Fine...I'll leave you alone. Just message me if you want anything."
"I won't."
–
"Hey Commander."
"Joker."
The pilot turned his chair to face the woman, "I...oh wow you look like you want to punt puppies. Hope that's not directed at me, or I'll start crawling away now."
"Huh? Oh – no. Not you."
"Everything okay, Commander?"
"What is the closest non-hostile planet, Joker?"
"Horizon. Why?"
Shepard's eyes snapped shut, before a sad smile spread across her features, "Sweet, bitter irony."
"Commander?"
"Set course for Horizon."
"Yes, Commander. May I ask why?"
"We're dropping off Kaidan. He needs to get back to playing Spectre."
"Right...I'm sure. Commander?"
"What is it Joker?"
"You didn't kill Kaidan, right? If you did, we could just shoot his body out with the garbage and he'd never be seen again."
A smile cracked across Shepard's features, "No, Joker, I did not kill Kaidan."
"One or both of his testicles currently lie where your hands are in your sweatshirt's pockets?"
The Commander removed her hands from her jacket and waved her fingers around, "Nothin' in there."
"Well...alright, Commander..." Joker slowly turned his chair back to face the console – continually shooting Shepard a glance over his shoulder – causing the woman to smile.
"I'm fine."
"I won't push."
"I'm not hiding anything."
"This is me not pushing. Well – I'm pushing buttons – but they aren't on you."
"People do not have physical buttons, Jeff."
"Thank you EDI – I had no idea," Joker breathed, shaking his head as he set course for Horizon.
"ETA?" Shepard asked, sliding her hands back into her pockets, her crutches leaning on the wall next to her, as she leaned on the wall opposite.
"A few hours. You kicked him in the nuts, huh?"
"Not physically."
"So...metaphorically?"
"Bye Joker," her voice amused.
"Fine...alright, see ya."
–
"Commander."
"Kelly. Anything I should know?"
"Nothing right now, Commander – but I am on my lunch break," Kelly smiled, sitting across from Shepard in the mess.
"Right – sorry, reflex."
"It's fine. Everything okay? You seem a bit...tired."
"I really don't feel like talking about it Kelly."
"I won't push," the bright-haired woman chirped, quickly sliding some food between her lips, "But I did notice something you'd find amusing."
"Oh?" Shepard leaned her head to the side – both elbows leaning on the table as her hands cradled a cup of coffee.
"There are several people on board who aren't well versed in social behavior," Kelly began, making motions with her fork, "Like Joker, for instance."
A small smile tugged at Gaz's lips, "He does spend a lot of time in that cockpit with EDI."
"That's actually the point I was about to make. Pay attention when he – or anyone else who's less used to social situations talks to you. They have started to adopt EDI's speech mannerisms."
Shepard's brows pulled together, "What?"
"Normally people don't say another person's name unless they are making a situation more serious or trying to make a point with the person," she observed, taking a drink of water, "But if you listen to Joker speak in an informal setting – something I've had the benefit of a few times – he says my name at the end of nearly every statement. The behavior is common when one used to responding to people of rank – but the behavior is still amusing. Lawson has the same problem."
"Makes sense of the Ice Queen."
"I actually feel sorry for her."
Shepard snorted.
"I thought you and the XO were on good terms," Kelly's head leaned to the side.
"It's a long story," Shepard shrugged, "Oh – I got a cat."
"What aren't you telling me, Commander?"
"I actually might have a name for him now."
"This is classic avoidance. I'm not even believing you have a cat. Especially since you haven't left the ship since your near fatal accident."
"He's actually more of a kitten. Has a collar that makes him look like the good ol' N7 armor."
Kelly couldn't keep the smile from spreading across her face, "N'aww. But why are you mad at Miranda?"
"It's personal."
"Commander. It is my job to help you as well as the crew of the Normandy."
"Did you really sleep with Joker?"
Kelly's mouth opened and closed, before her posture straightened, "That is personal."
"So is this. Good-day, Chambers."
–
AN: A lot of talking. Not much happens. Yeah. I found it all necessary, though. OH SWEET IRONY – HORIZON! Why? Because I like when life does random bits of irony. And because I'm evil. Also, apparently people don't have physical buttons. Hahahaha. Oh EDI. I also like how Shepard avoids Kelly's eager prodding. Since Kelly knows she's like 'TELL ME NOW' but in her shrink sort of way. Thought it was appropriate. The next chapter is A LOT more exciting. I already am mostly done with it and I just couldn't include the content in this chapter without it being too long. It's exciting I promise! You even get to meet a new character! Well – a character I keep writing in, then rewriting out of this story. He's Joker's relief pilot which you can actually SEE IN THE MASS EFFECT 3 DEMO. There's a guy flying a shuttle who isn't Joker. So I decided to name him and give him a background. He's neat.
Also – Mass Effect 3 comes out soon. I have it preordered but I'm poor so I won't get it until like the...17th of March (free shipping if you choose turbo slow method). I think that means I get to play it over Spring Break though. YAY!
Rated M for: Language, future sexual situations, future violence, and so I can have freedom without fear of scarring a teen for life.
Oh – and I don't own anything ever.