A/N- What? You thought that this story was being abandoned? Nonsense! I'll keep this going until I run out of ideas! (Which reminds me, suggestions please!) And I'm sorry if this chapter is all over the place. One- school. And two- I was, like, high on laughing gas when I typed the last part...

Disclaimer- Last time I'm going to say this- I don't own Bleach or any other copyrighted material! Don't sue me! (This counts for all of the chapters for now on, okay? I don't like putting it in every chapter...)

The teacher was giving one of her speeches about what they had learned earlier in the year. While some students were frantically scribbling down notes, Ichigo was just letting his thoughts roam free. After all, it was just a review. They had learned this stuff at the beginning of the year, and he had already studied for his end-of-the-year tests.

What was really bothering him today was the fact that he hadn't had an outburst from the two mental patients living in his head in over three days. Most people would celebrate if the voices shut up, but it kind of worried Ichigo.

Sometimes, there would be days when everything would be quiet, but this was rare. With that, there would always be a big outburst the next day. It had gotten to the point a few months ago that he had had to set aside a day where they had to shut up and leave him alone, lest they face his wrath.

But that day had already come and gone, so there wasn't any reason for them to be so quiet. Maybe this had something to do with him taking away Ogihci's candy stash? No, Zangetsu would have said something. Unless the hollow had killed his zanpakuto? It didn't seem likely, since he was still able to kill a hollow that had showed up earlier.

Oh well. No reason to dwell on it.

...

-In Ichigo's Inner World-

Ogihci was curled up in his room, shivering. Zangetsu had made him stay in there when he got too annoying for his liking. That didn't matter to the hollow now. He needed sugar...

While he was suffering in his room, Zangetsu was standing outside on his emo pole, enjoying the sunny, hollow-free days that had descended upon the bleak landscape. It was worth having been chased by a giant rabid hollow bunny around a freaky castle-thing and almost being killed by a sad clown. He shivered violently. Scary clown...

"Zanny! Can I have some candy?" Ogihci shouted from within one of the gravity-defying skyscrapers.

He sighed. It had been good while it lasted...

"No! Eat an apple or something," the old man called back.

"But I don't wanna apple," the hollow pouted.

"...Eat crap then."

The smartass reply caught Ogihci off guard, but he quickly recovered. If Zangetsu wouldn't help him get candy...

"KING!"

Zangetsu was in the room in an instant, pinning the hollow to the floor by straddling him and covering his mouth, preventing anything but muffled sounds from coming out.

"Don't bother Ichigo," he hissed. "The tests are coming!"

The hollow knocked away his hand. "I just want some candy!"

Then he noticed the sword's position. "Uh... this isn't going to turn out like one of those shōjo manga that King's friends read, is it?"

"What? Oh... no." He quickly stood after he noticed. "And you watch and read them too, so don't complain about it."

"I do not!"

"The one withe the rabbit guy?"

"That's not like that!"

"Yes it is. The kid could have blown the rape whistle in the first episode..."

"Ha! You watched it too!"

"Not because I wanted to. Ichigo asked me to check what you were watching."

"What the hell, Zanny!"

"You're impressionable..."

"Am not!"

"Lower your voice. The tests-"

"I don't care about the tests! You were looking through my stuff! What if I looked through your room? Huh? Maybe messed with your razors?"

"Sssh!" Zangetsu clapped his hand over Ogihci's mouth again. In retaliation, the hollow bit him.

"Come on... I need sugar..." he mumbled, sitting on the floor and taking up the emo position.

"...You don't need sugar," Zangetsu said with a sigh, rubbing his bitten hand. "Fruit has sugar. Eat some. Get over the addiction!"

"No!"

"Ogihci..."

"No! I don't wanna!"

"Stop acting like a five-year-old."

"Make me!"

"Ten minutes in the Time Out Corner!" the old man commanded, pointing his finger at the door.

"No!"

"Go or it'll be twenty."

"Shut up, Zanketsu!" *

The sword just blinked at him in shock. First he shouts at Ichigo when he knows that he is preparing for tests, then he royally screws his name?

"That's it!" he shouted, grabbing the back of Ogihci's shihakusho and dragging him out of the room, kicking and screaming all the way.

...

Everyone, including Uryu, had stopped taking notes after the teacher had been droning on for over thirty minutes. What was the point of telling the students to relax, then turning around and stressing them out? They really didn't plan these things through.

Suddenly, Ichigo heard an horrible, ear-piercing screeching sound. He instinctively slammed his hands over his ears, biting his lip and just barely keeping himself from crying out.

"Is something wrong, Kurosaki?" the teacher asked, stopping her lecture-turned-rant and staring worridly at him.

"Uh, sorry. I was, uh, daydreaming," he explained, realizing that no one else had heard the noise again.

"Must've been one heck of a dream," she remarked before going back to talking about class stuff. Before she could say much, however, the bell rang.

"Huh? Oh, class dismissed!" their teacher exclaimed in her normal carefree manner.

Everyone got up, chatting about weekend plans and the like. Ichigo's friends gathered their stuff and headed over to him.

"Are you okay, Kurosaki-kun?" Orihime asked, worried as usual.

"Yeah. I think they're just screwing with something in there..."

"Who?" Uryu asked, pushing his glasses up again. He really should have them adjusted.

"Who do you think?"

Another screeching sound cut through his mind, making him flinch. "I really don't want to know what they're doing..."

"...Okay... Bye Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime and Uryu exited the room, talking about sewing.

"Uh, so what are you planning for the weekend?" Rukia asked, messing with some of her horrid Chappy drawings. She, along with the rest of the gang, had learned not to question things when it came to the beings within Ichigo's head. You could end up being mind fucked.

"Nothing much. Just-" Yet another screech interrupted him, making him cringe yet again. "Okay, let's just go home."

She just shrugged and followed him out of the room, still kind of wondering what was going on. No questions were asked, of course. Her mind valued its virginity.

...

After the fourteenth repetition of the sound, Ichigo finally went to investigate. As to what took him so long, he had been hoping that it would stop and he would be able to return to the rare peace that he had been experiencing before. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to be happening.

Upon locating where the sound was coming from, he kicked down the door with a shout of "Okay, what the hell are you guys... doing?"

In the room sat Zangetsu, who was wearing a lab coat for whatever reason and was reading a book while perched on the edge of a large, oak desk. Along the walls, multiple chalk boards were hanging, one with a depressed-looking albino standing in front of it. A bucket of chalk was next to him, one of the pieces in his hand as he wrote something on the chalkboard.

Taking a closer look, Ichigo found that the phrase "I will not bother King during a test or call Zanny "Zanketsu" ever again." was written over and over again on the boards. There were also a fair few long, jagged chalk marks scattered around between the written parts, which were apparently the source of the screeching sounds.

"Uh... 'Zanketsu'? What the hell?" the shinigami asked in confusion.

"Hello Ichigo," the sword said, still focused on his book.

"...Why?"

"He wouldn't shut up, so I made him do this. The tests are coming..."

"I know that. But, uh, why the lab coat?"

"I found it lying around and thought it would be fun to wear."

"Yeah, well it kinda looks like you two are acting out some kinda kinky fantasy..."

"What?"

"All that's missing is a whip or something and-"

"Shut up, King!" Ogihci yelled, throwing his worn-down chalk at his doppelgänger, where it produced a long streak of white across his cheek. The hollow then reached into the chalk bucket and pulled out a large, hot pink piece of chalk and continued writing while muttering to himself.

"That's just sick, Ichigo," Zangetsu remarked before sneezing loudly.

"I'm not the only sick one here," he replied, backing away from his zanpakuto. "I better not catch anything from you... Wait, is that even possible?"

"It's just all of the chalk dust..."

"The only thing you're going to catch from Zanketsu is his emoness," the albino snickered from behind them, dodging a cupful of pens that the old man threw at him.

"Quit calling me that! And didn't you already give that to him?"

"What? When?" he asked, looking just as confused as Ichigo did.

"When you locked me in the Room of No Talent for months with only some bread to eat and tried to take control every two seconds!"

"I did not!"

"I think he's talking about when the Visored kicked your ass back into place..."

"They had nothing to do with it!"

"Uh-huh. So Lisa's porn mags had nothing to do with it?"

Zangetsu gave him a questioning look. "Porn mags?"

"..."

"By the way, she wants them back."

"I don't have any porn mags!" Ogihci all but shouted.

"Oh, so those were the magazines that you tried to hide under your bed."

"You hid them under your bed? That's stupid..." Ichigo remarked, smiling at the thought.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Overused," both shinigami and zanpakuto said in unison, heading towards the door.

"Hey! Where're you going?"

"To rescue Lisa's magazines," the orange-haired teen said before walking out.

"Don't worry. We aren't going to touch your pervy manga."

"How many times do I have to say it? It's not pervy!"

"Rabbit guy," Zangetsu called over his shoulder before the door slammed shut with a bang.

...

"Huh. Looks like he moved them," the sword remarked, peering under the hollow's bed.

"How long do you think it'll take him to figure out that the door's locked?" Ichigo asked, sitting up and taking a look around the room.

"I don't know," Zangetsu replied form the floor, glancing around. "Where else- oh. Never mind." He had spotted the magazines taped onto the bottom of a table. Figures.

Ichigo walked over and delicately pulled the magazines off, then looked down at his hands and grimaced, shifting them to the other hand. "Okay, ew."

"What?"

"They're sticky... Please tell me this is candy or something."

Zangetsu stood and took them from his wielder, just touching the corners. "I think it's just soda... Your mind's turning into Ogihci's."

"Oh, shut up," he shot back, snatching the porn away.

"Are you taking them back?"

"Yeah. Don't let Ogihci kill anything, okay?"

"Can I keep him locked in there?" the sword asked hopefully.

"Why not?"

...

-Back in the Real World-

As Ichigo approached the run-down warehouse, he heard shouting. After a second, he realized who it was.

"Oi, Baldy! Quit being a dumbass and get the stupid pigeon out of here!"

"Why don't you do it? I'm not the one that let it in."

"'Cause I didn't let it in either! Dumbass..."

"Why should I chase it then? I'm tired..."

"Why would I care? Ladies don't chase birds around!"

"I wouldn't really call you a lady... AH! What was that for?"

"For calling me un-ladylike!"

"Uh... should I come back later?" Ichigo asked, standing at the door and watching Hiyori and Shinji duel it out.

"Whadaya think you're looking at, Dickhead?" the short girl demanded, brandishing her sandel around. Shinji was sprawled out on the ground a few feet away, clutching his red, possibly bruised cheek and giving the shinigami a desperate look.

"I... got these back. Do you know where Lisa is?" he inquired, holding the magazines up.

"Didn't she bribe your hollow with those?" Shinji asked, sitting up.

"He had to give them back at some point, didn't he?"

"Uh, okay. I think she's down in the training room."

"Thanks," he said, walking away as Hiyori continued her assault. Only she could turn a sandal into a deadly weapon.

Lisa and Kensei were sparring when Ichigo descended the flight of stairs, only sparing him a glance before continuing their mock-fight.

"Oi, Lisa!"

She glanced at him once more before spin-kicking Kensei multiple times. He blocked them and fell back into a fighting stance before she called time.

"What?" the black-haired Visored snapped, taking a drink from a water bottle

"Here. We finally rescued them from Ogihci," he replied rather uncomfortably, handing the porn over.

"What took you? And why are they sticky?"

"...Zangetsu's pretty sure that's soda."

"It better be."

"Hey Lisa," Kensei called from his perch on a rock. "Wasn't Mashiro sparring with us?"

"Thought so," she replied, glancing around. "Where'd she run off to?"

"Mashiro... KICK!" the small, superhero-themed girl shouted, popping out of nowhere and drop-kicking Kensei.

Both Ichigo and Lisa sweat-dropped, watching Mashiro being chased around the room by Kensei, who looked like he was about to pop a blood vessel.

"I'm going to go..." the young shinigami said, starting for the stairs.

"You don't want to borrow more porn?" Lisa asked, half joking and half being serious.

"No!"

"Suit yourself," she said, shrugging before she began reading a hentai manga. Off to the side, Mashiro was now dancing circles around Kensei and, while he looked mad as hell, she seemed to be having a good time.

As Ichigo reached the warehouse again, he found that Shinji was now slumped against a wall with a bloody nose, still being yelled at.

Sighing, he just left the Visoreds and headed home.

...

"What... the... hell..." Ichigo slowly got out, staring at the two spirits, who now really looked like they were doing something.

"What?" Zangetsu asked innocently, not seeing anything wrong.

"Uh... are you guys... sure that you're not playing out some perverted fantasy?" he asked, disturbed by the fact that Ogihci was tied up with multiple belts and gagged while lying at the foot of Zangetsu's emo pole, which he was standing on, still wearing his lab coat.

"We're not being perverts, Ichigo. Well, I'm not, at least."

"Okay then..." the teen said, kneeling down to unbind his hollow.

"Ichigo, no!"

"Why?" he asked as the last belt fell free and he pulled the gag out of Ogihci's mouth simultaneously. He soon got his answer.

"SUGAR!"

"HOW?"

"I don't know!"

Five minutes later, both shinigami and zanpakuto were hiding in the library as if their lives depended on it. Which they did, in a way.

"What happened?" Ichigo demanded.

"I told you- I don't know! I went to let him out of the room and he tried to jump me!"

"...I knew you two were-"

"Don't say it," Zangetsu groaned out, looking up at the ceiling. "What I want to know is where he found sugar."

"In the desk?" Ichigo guessed, running a hand through his hair.

"It was empty..."

"Well then, what did he eat? The chalk?"

They exchanged a knowing look after that.

"...Chalk doesn't have sugar in it, does it?" the sword asked worridly.

"No... I think it's mostly calcium or something." He thought for a second. "Hey, is there any chance that he might've gotten his hands on some of those candy cigarettes? Those can look like chalk."

"...Crap."

Just then, Oghici decided to investigate the library, swinging a belt around as a weapon.

"Just be quiet. He hates this section," Zangetsu whispered. Ichigo looked up and saw that they were hiding in the Romance section.

"King~... Zanny~...I know you're here~," the hollow sang out, swinging the belt pendulum-style with every word.

All was quiet for a few minutes, giving the two in hiding a bit of relief, thinking that he had left. Then their worst nightmare himself popped out from behind them, laughing like a lunatic. Both of them tried to run, but Ogihci somehow managed to get the belt wrapped around Ichigo's ankles, tripping and dragging him away.

"Ichigo!"

He only got out a yell before the hollow got him out of the room.

...

-Two Hours Later-

Zangetsu finally located the two boys after hours of searching. It seemed that Ogihci had dragged Ichigo to the room containing the Robot Chicken Chair and strapped him in. The unfortunate strawberry was then forced to watch some of the worst films ever, including Troll 2. Ogihci, meanwhile, had retreated to his room, where he was later found dumping Pixie Stix down his throat.

After the hollow had been forced to switch places with the shinigami, Ichigo had returned to the Real World. All was well until he was taking his tests and heard a cry of despair.

'No! My sake!'

Ichigo sighed. So that was what his hollow had been up to...

'It was so young! Why?'

* - If anyone didn't get this or just hasn't seen it, Ogihci's screwing of Zangetsu's name comes from a joke in the crappy Bount arc known as the Zanpakuto Spelling Joke. (Just about the only thing worth watching in there. Other that the "Take It Off" scene. :P)
As any good little Bleach fan knows, "Zangetsu" means "Slaying Moon". "Zanketsu", however, means "Slaying Ass". XD

...

A/N- I couldn't stop thinking about how Zangetsu would react to being called an ass after I found that clip on YouTube... Figured that he wouldn't be that happy.

Why must there be the deadly end-of-the-year tests? DX I'm just about dying over here... What about you guys?

Review! Maybe it'll keep this poor writer from losing it... again.