Disclaimer: I don't own. Just because I forgot last chapter doesn't mean I own.
A/n: Sorry if this is confusing. I just realized that since I'm the only one who knows what actually happened, then it might only make sense to me. Oh, and sometimes I'm going to reference or rewrite canon episodes. I'll warn you if there are spoilers. For example: Possible Spoiler Alert: Martha is in this one, and there are mentions of Gridlock (s3 ep3) and a brief mention of why they go to Cardiff in Utopia (s3 ep11). Also, I pretty much spill the plot of the first half of the episode New Earth (s2 ep1)
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He doesn't know when this started. He doesn't know why the TARDIS keeps hiding things from him, or why She acts so sad when she does. He doesn't know why he thinks that there is something missing every time he's running, why there's an emptiness where someone's hand should be.
That's why he asked Martha to come with him, because he knows that Donna Noble was right and that he needs somebody to be with him and there's something wrong about that because—and that's exactly where his brain stops every time.
Martha doesn't fill the hole, though. Where is this hole anyway, in his heart (well, one of them anyway)? That's a human thing, feeling like there are holes in their hearts whenever someone is—and there goes his brain, stopping again. It keeps doing that, and he doesn't know why, and he'll have to figure it out someday because that could be a problem in a crisis, his brain just stopping in the middle of trying to figure out something. Maybe on a quiet day, when he has nothing to do, he can have a look up in his big, impressive brain and ask why it keeps stopping whenever he's in the middle of a thought. It could be old age, but it seems like it stops whenever he thinks about—Rassilon, that is getting annoying!
Where was he? Oh, yes, Martha.
He can't figure out why he keeps looking at her and not seeing her, keeps expecting her to think things and do things that aren't the kinds of things she would think or do. He can't figure out why it bothered him so much when she said she didn't like chips. He can't figure out why he almost, almost felt something that could maybe be called déjà vu when they went to New Earth and saw the video clip of the cars flying out of the city just before Martha got kidnapped.
Only, it's not déjà vu because that would mean that he's gone there before and he hasn't he most definitely has not gone to New Earth—no, he did go to New Earth, because there was a message on the psychic paper, only something happened with a psychograft and—Oh, this is ridiculous, he's going to fix this, right now!
The TARDIS lurches sideways and he falls against one of the coral struts. Could something be wrong with her? Maybe she's tired; it's been a while since she refueled. Yes, next stop Cardiff, that's where they'll go, just a quick pit stop and then off into time and space (and why does that phrase sound so familiar? Oh well, doesn't matter).