Thanks everyone for the response to the last chapter!

Let's see among the reasons that Castle can't be mine are that I have a problem with commas and sometimes tenses get the better of me. I'm human and posting this for your enjoyment and mine.

Chapter 15 – Burden Sharing

My phone was teasing me. The home screen looking just as it always did. I checked my missed calls, nothing. No new text messages, not an email, a tweet, or a Facebook status, message, or poke. There was no sign of life from the one person I wanted to hear from for five days.

The last time I'd seen her was when she'd kissed me outside her building the morning after the release party. She look soft and happy her hair still drying leaving a lingering scent of her cherry shampoo behind as she'd climbed into the cruiser on her way to the crime scene. That was the last I'd heard from her.

I'd sent texts, called her at least twice a day since and left messages every day. I'd even sent her an email at work. Still no sign of life from the other end. I was at a loss. I didn't know where I went wrong, what I could have possibly done wrong that she wouldn't even call me back and let me know she was busy with a case and couldn't talk. The silence from the other end was unnerving.

Eight months since we ran into each other in that coffee shop by the precinct, since I helped her close that case, started having coffee dates with her, and in all that time we'd maybe gone two days without out at least a minimal text exchange, or a brief conversation on the phone.

So at day three I'd figured she was just tied up in a case. At day four, I'd called Ryan and asked if she was there. He'd confirmed and said that she was dealing with something, the Irish detective sounded worried. When it was the end of day five and I still hadn't actually heard from her, I found myself sitting outside of her doorway willing to wait until she appeared. At some point she had to come home and at least change her clothes.

I'd been there about six hours and was dozing off against the frame of the door when she tripped over my feet. Hitting the door full force, "Castle!" she moaned against the wood without making a move to lift herself off it.

"Kate?" I started to lift myself up off the floor reaching up to grasp her fingers just to reassure myself that she was really there and my desperate and bored mind wasn't dreaming her appearance.

She however took my gesture of self-assurance as her cue to slide down to the ground next to me. Her body all sharp angles, as her knees folded under her, elbow hitting my shoulder before coming to rest on her thighs so that she could cradle her head in her hands. A shudder rattling through her as she came to a rest next to me.

Blinking rapidly, I tried to pull myself back together, trying to piece together what exactly was happening right now. "Kate?" I lifted my hand brushing and escaping tendril of hair behind her ear so that I could examine her profile. Her cheekbones were more prominent outlined by the dark circles indicating that she'd probably slept less than she'd eaten since the last time I'd seen her.

She didn't answer. She just sat next to me, silently crying, tears running over the beautiful cheek bones, making tracks of days old mascara over her naked skin, the foundation and blush she normally wore long vanished in the long hours in the precinct, probably days ago.

For a few more moments we just sat, but my back and butt were making it known that seven hours sitting on the ground was not an ideal situation. "Kate? We should go inside."

That sentence seemed to be her breaking point because she sobbed out my name, "Castle," and her whole body fell into mine, her head landing on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I should have called."

Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, a gave her just a minute. "Hey it's okay. We can talk about it when you've eaten something and gotten some sleep." She inhaled deeply, presumably trying to steady herself, nodding gentle against my shoulder. "Alright, let's finds some keys." I moved my free hand over hoping to find them in her purse with minimal rifling. I felt her shift her far arm digging into her pocket to pull out the illusive key ring out and slipped it into my searching hand.

Without moving her too much I angled my arm around my head sliding the key into the appropriate lock. In a feat of flexibility I didn't know I possessed I managed to get her door unlocked before pulling my own feet under myself. Leaving the one arm around her shoulders, I slipped my free hand under her knees and remembered to lift with my legs and not with my back. Surprised to find her lighter than I might have liked, but in this moment, I wasn't going to complain as I adjusted her so that I could open the door.

I tried to catalog how I got into the apartment; it would be useful for Rook. But my thoughts were otherwise occupied by the woman with her head tucked into my shoulder as I closed the door and managed to flip the lock, making it to the couch as quickly as possible. Aiming to sit down as smoothly as possible trying not to jostle her, failing miserable, but I managed not to drop her.

She wasn't crying anymore, she just picked at the seam of my shirt next to the buttons for a few moments before she took a deep solid breath. Her palm came to rest flat against my chest over my heart. "I should shower." She told me without moving.

"Ok." I nodded, "Shower. I'm going to make you something to eat."

I didn't need to see her face to know that she was pursing her lips thinking. "Ok." She finally said, before extricating herself from my lap standing in front of me looking more ragged than I thought before. She rolled her lips in biting them before extending a hand to me.

I slid my hand into hers and managed to get myself upright, with a few cracks. We were inches from each other. My hand cupped her elbow and I pressed a kissed to her forehead, "We're okay. Go shower."

Her eyes drifted closed some of the tension draining out of her body, as she nodded. "Thank you Castle." Before she turned head held high as she made her way to the bathroom, and I watched her go, before going in the opposite direction to see what I could assemble in a short about of time.

Given the state of her fridge, it was obvious that if she'd been home this week she hadn't eaten because it looked the same as it had when I'd made her pancakes. Settling on simple comfort foods, I boiled water for pasta and pulling the things out to make a simple sauce and finding frozen vegetables to add knowing that despite her need for calories she was going to want to eat something with vitamins.

She emerged just as I was plating the food setting in on the bar in front of her as she sat down. Sweats sliding down her hipbones exposing a strip of pale skin between the worn grey and the fuchsia of the v-neck t-shirt she'd thrown on. The shoulder of which was darkening rapidly as water seeped from the braid she'd tied her locks into.

She didn't say anything, as I watched her pick up her fork slowly digging into the food I put in front of her. She ate it out of diligence and a knowledge that I wasn't going to let her do anything beside eat it. I watched her carefully trying to over think whatever it was that had driven her into this state, almost catatonic.

Her plate clean, not long after mine I stood to start doing the dishes, when her hand caught mine, "Leave them." And she pulled me back to her room. Stopping only when we were next to the bed, she released my hand bringing her hands up to push the flannel off my shoulders.

"Kate?" I asked unsure of where this was going. But she shook her head her hands coming down to my waist releasing my belt and undoing my jeans shoving them over my hips before she turned and lifted to the covers, crawling underneath the soft grey and purple comforter.

"Rick." It fell from her lips, sounding more desperate than anything I'd ever heard. Propelling my body into action as I managed to extricate myself from my jeans pooled at my feet and climbed into the bed next to her. "In the morning I promise." She murmured laying her head on my shoulder as she lined her body up next to me.

The scent of coffee pulled me back into the land of the living, and I had to blink a few times for my brain to process that I was looking at a photograph of Kate and her dad on the dresser on the opposite wall. She wasn't in the bed with me but I could hear her rattling around in the kitchen. Pulling in a deep breath, I struggled to sit up, but I didn't even get the covers pushed off my legs before she appeared carrying two cups of coffee.

She hadn't changed, but she'd undone the braid, the chestnut waves falling over one shoulder as she handed me a cup and then she pulled herself onto the corner of the mattress, folding her legs under her criss-crossed looking at me, cradling her coffee like it was an anchor. Her eyes stayed on mine as she drank from her own mug, but when she lowered the cup her eyes refocused on the brown liquid in the cup and she took a deep breath. "I have PTSD."

With those three words, her whole body shifted inward, her shoulder stiffened and slumped at the same time. The long fingers around her cup tightened around the cup going white against the warm brown of the cup. "Oh Kate." I reached a hand out to her, but stopped before touching her, leaving my palm up on the comforter just offering it to her.

She pulled her upper lip through her teeth and then lifted her head proudly again to hold my eye even as I could see the moisture gathering in the corners. "I have PTSD. I'm doing better, but it spiraled out of my control this week and I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" I asked, my head trying to figure out why she was apologizing.

"For not calling you this week and asking for space. For not telling you ahead of time that I was dealing with it." More tears slipped down her cheeks but they didn't infiltrate her voice.

Now I did shift closer to her, running her my hand down her arm pulling a hand away from her coffee cup and tangled my fingers with hers, "I don't care. You're telling me now." She looked down at our laced fingers, but didn't say anything. "Can I ask how it started?"

Her fingers tightened just briefly in response to the question, and I watched her swallow. "My therapist thinks the camera's set me on edge and then a sniper case pushed me over."

"The cameras?" I asked trying to think of what she was referencing, "At the launch party?" I realized.

"I apparently associate them the reflection off of a spotting scope."

A bowling ball seemed to have taken up residence in my stomach, pulling everything down. "Kate if I had known I would have never…" I was silenced by a finger on my lips, her coffee cup still warm pressing against my cheek.

"I didn't know, how could you have known?" She asked moving just far enough to set her coffee cup down on the nightstand, before taking mine and setting it next to hers even though I hadn't had any of it. "I wanted to go with you. If I hadn't I wouldn't have said yes, even when you gave me ample opportunity to say no." She studied me for just a second, "Dr. Burke said that if I hadn't caught the case I most likely would have been fine, would have dealt with it reasonably."

Now she shifted closer, her free hand ghosting over my jaw line, before settling on my shoulder. "I'm not good at this, at relying on others, or even letting others in enough to know when I'm in trouble."

"You're telling me now," I tried to reassure not pressing her.

That earned me a wry smile, and a finger squeeze. "You shadowed me for six months."

"Really only three because you were mad at me for half of it."

"Yeah well you were digging where you shouldn't have been."

I mentally smacked myself, "I'm still sorry about that."

She smiled, "I'm not, I have more answers than I did. I have somewhere to look."

"I thought you had no leads."

"Not yet but they'll come."

"You got shot."

"And I lived to see another day." She shook her head, "this isn't my point."

"What's the point?" I asked softly.

She moved closer, still her knee's bumping against mine the barrier of fabric muting the collision. "The point is that running into you all those months ago at that coffee shop and all the cups of coffee in-between, it's the best thing that's happened to me in a really long time. But I'm broken and not sure I can do this…"

I cut her off sealing my lips over hers, a gentle kiss to stop her rambling, bringing my hand up to tangle in the hair at the base of her neck. Pulling back, just enough I rested my forehead against hers and look into her eyes admiring the gold flecks amongst the sparkling green they were this morning. "You're doing just fine."

"Rick…" her eyes closed.

"I'm serious. You're telling me now that you have a problem and even if I can't help you with it, I can be here for you. I'm not perfect at this either, but I can tell you the one thing you have to do is tell each other about your problems."

Her eyes opened slowly, "Castle." It was soft and sweet and filled with an emotion that I couldn't place a finger on. Before she slanted her lips over mine as she released my fingers and brought her hand up to my neck using it as leverage to pull herself closer, into my lap. Leaving my one arm to wrap around her waist fingers sliding across the bare skin between her sweats and t-shirt. "I want for this so desperately to work."

"Me too." I whispered back, pressing another kiss to her lips. "I was so worried about you this week."

"I'm sorry." She hummed quietly, ducking her head to my neck pressing her lips against the skin above my t-shirt.

My hand ghosted up her back relishing in the feel of her skin against the pads of my fingers. "It's ok you're here now."

She pulled back resting her weight against my hand as her thumb ghosted back and forth across my jaw teasing the stumble there. "This is where I want to be." She took a deep breath, "Don't let me go."

"I won't." I promised.

"I'm serious."

"I am too." I pulled her back against me, fusing my lips to hers. Trying desperately to communicate to her everything that she inexplicably was to me.

At this point I can see exactly where this story is going. There's just some in between stuff that I have to work out. Ideas for later keep getting me at the strangest times and I have a pile of little scenes ready to go and I just have to get there. So thank you for your patience.

Let me know what you thought! The some of your questions have made me think more about what needed to happen and have made this a better story so keep them coming. Just remember that it is AU.

That's all. Drop me a line.

Babyrose