The air above Hybern was cold and dry—the wind cutting into my face felt like knives. Slipping out of the town house in the morning before Az or Cassian could try to stop me, I flew south-west for hours, soaring above the clouds.

I had been having trouble sleeping lately. Nightmares of Amarantha torturing Mor….forcing Cassian...killing Feyre—my body had trouble shutting off knowing that's when the anxiety got the best of me night after night. The only thing that could calm the fears I had— my loved ones being harmed—was to go out and do all I could to protect them. Since stealing Feyre away from the Spring Court wasn't an option, I opted to snoop in Hybern. If I couldn't protect her, I would work protect her family beyond the wall. I would not let the years Feyre spent braving the cold and hunting for their survival be a waste.

When I reached the borders I flew—not to the King's palace—but to the home of one of his advisors. The king's mind would be protected—as would his advisors—but I could get through his advisor's shields without threat of detection.

As I approached the location, I looked through the window and saw a tall, male sitting at a desk. I studied him for a moment, before deciding to slip inside the house.

Before he could yell at my sudden presence, I froze him with a wave of my hand. As was routine, I rearranged my features into the mask of coldness.

Quieting the long buried part of me that felt shame at committing the violation, I leaned against the mahogany desk and dug my way into the advisor's mind. Entering the outskirts of his mind, I felt a wall of cement protecting his thoughts.

With a sigh and half a thought, I cracked the wall in half and entered his consciousness. I felt him push at me feebly and silenced him. I could just cause him pain—force him to tell me right away…. But there were lines I wouldn't cross.

You already crossed those lines, whore

I push the thought away. There were lines I wouldn't cross when I had the choice...and thanks to Feyre I would never have to give up my choice again.

Instead, I opted to shuffle through his memories and find what I wanted myself, however painstakingly long it took.

I flipped through memories of childhood, then war, then—I snarled. This male had a certain penchant for violence...especially where unwilling females were concerned.

Thinking of Mor, it was an effort not to forget my search and crush his mind right then and there.

With effort, I returned to searching through the sick male's mind—ah there. I skimmed through the memory of a conversation with the King's general until a name came up that made my blood run cold.

Jurian

I continued my search...but the king had been careful...this advisor had only heard what he needed to hear: they were going to resurrect Jurian. Not how or when.

I glanced again at the Male frozen before me. I had see a lot in my many years, but his memories had made even me wince. Murderous thoughts floated through my head.

I had almost decided to act on them until I thought of her… sleeping with her High Lord who called me whore and murderer.

That's what you are

I shook my head. Whore I may be, but if the line between my mask and my true self started to blur… i'd never deserve someone like Feyre...if I even deserved her as I was now—with all I had done.

Even the thought of my mate hadn't been enough to stop me from breaking a few fingers before erasing his memories and slipping out the way I came.

The scream of pain I heard as I soared away high in the clouds was almost enough to forgive myself for it.

Almost enough.

I had updated Armen on what I learned at Hybern—she was the least likely to murder me for sneaking out—and a day later we sat planning.

Or trying to plan. I had been distracted all day...it had officially been a month since I left her in the hands of that bastard. The flashes of her reflection in the mirror that slipped through the bonds had haunted me for days. Her eyes were sunken and her hair was dull...she looked like she was dying...

"Rhysand," Armen snapped, pulling me out of my own despair.

I looked up at my second, wordlessly

"Go get her, Rhysand," she said, looking at me pointedly. "Stop moping about and go the retrieve the girl already".

"So crabby. Tore through your supply of blood already, Armen?" I asked, taunting her half-heartedly.

Ignoring my jab, she continued to stare at me—through me. Those strange silver eyes I thought i'd never see again... were set on me in full force.

"Armen I can't just—"

"Is she happy there, right now?" she interrupted me, one of the few people who dared do so.

Feyre happened to be one of those few...

"'Oh no you don't" she said, seeing the direction my thoughts were headed in my eyes. "You get off your ass and go get her before I—

"Alright, alright" I told her, snarling in annoyance. Keeping the image of Feyre's wan, colorless face in my mind, I winnowed to the Spring Court to fetch my mate.

"Get out," Tamlin warned.

It was an effort to keep my anger in check, remembering that day in the study.

"Give it a rest, Tamlin, and go fetch Feyre darling for me"

"I'll say it one last time—"

I was about to reply with a retort I knew would make his blood boil, when I heard the door open slowly.

I turned to look at her, pain lancing through my soul at her haggard appearance.

She looked even worse than she did through the bond.

"Feyre." my eyes lingered, taking in every detail. "Are you running low on food here?"

"What?" Tamlin demanded.

As if he hadn't noticed—the coward.

I extended a hand toward her—desperate to get her out of here. "Let's go."

Tamlin was in my face in an instant.

"Get out." He pointed toward the staircase. "She'll come to you when she's ready."

Easy to confront me about her well-being, but confronting her...now that he was too scared to do.

I brushed an invisible fleck of dust off Tamlin's sleeve before I heard a thought from Feyre float through the bond.

Part of me admired the sheer nerve it must have taken. Had Tamlin's teeth been inches from my throat, I would have bleated in panic.

I cut a glance at her. She was twice as brave as her coward High Lord.

"No, you wouldn't have. As far as your memory serves me, the last time Tamlin's teeth were near your throat, you slapped him across the face." I felt her snap up her forgotten shields, scowling.

"Shut your mouth," Tamlin said, stepping further between us. "And get out."

"You really should have your wards inspected. Cauldron knows what other sort of riffraff might stroll in here as easily as I did." If Tamlin let anything get to her in here….

I assessed her again. Her eyes looked dead. It's not that I doubted her ability to take care of herself physically… but her despair was making her body weak right now. "Put some clothes on."

She bared her teeth at me and stepped back into the room. Tamlin followed after her, slamming the door hard enough that the chandeliers shuddered, sending shards of light shivering over the walls.

She came out wearing the turquoise Night clothes I had left her in last time. However they looked considerably looser than they had been a month ago...

I frowned at her. I could see her gearing up to shout something profane and purely Feyre at me—but she stopped. Her expression became cold again and the flame that had been building in her eyes sputtered out.

My heart went cold. This woman...this woman was a ghost of my mate...I had to get her out of here.

I extended the ghost my hand.

Tamlin stepped behind her and shoved my hand down. I fought a snarl.

"You end her bargain right here, right now, and I'll give you anything you want. Anything."

"Are you out of your mind?" she told Tamlin, without any of her usual pluck.

Tamlin didn't so much as blink in her direction.

"I already have everything I want," I told him coolly.

I stepped around Tamlin and took her cold, bony hand. Summoning a black wind, I gathered us up and winnowed us away.