After.

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Back home

"I wonder if Chakwas or some random poor person trimmed my beard while I was out," Joker wondered aloud, as he rolled through Shepard's door in his temporary wheel-chair, "Or if they hired some biotic to put it into stasis for a month."

"...Can a biotic stasis halt hair growth?" Gaz asked, watching the door close behind Joker.

"I have no idea," he shrugged, rolling across the room, "Where's Batman?"

"Steve is on top of my pillow. He blends in."

"No shit..." Joker smirked, eyes locating the animal as he pulled up beside the bed, "He's gotten so big! And...Steve? Really, Gaz?"
"You talked me out of Batman," Shepard shrugged, resting a hand on her hip.

"So naturally you go for Steve," he laughed, "Hey little buddy – remember me?"

Joker offered his hand to the cat, who sniffed it before licking it happily, "So you turned your cat into a dog?"

"It was an accident. I think he was actually watching when I was feeling...depressed, and ended up viewing a bunch of..." Gaz winced, "...cute puppy vids."

"Ahaha...Shepard watching cute animal vids to cheer herself up. Now I've heard everything."

"Ah – fuck you," Gaz smiled, sitting herself lightly upon the bed, before she joined in petting the cat.

Joker – bracing his hands on both the end-table and the bed, carefully slid himself beside Gaz – a proud smile spreading across his features.

"You know...I can like, help you with that, right?"

"I am a proud man," he pulled on his hat slightly, as the cat climbed onto his chest.

"He missed you," Gaz whispered, as Steve stared right into Joker's green eyes.

"Or is plotting to kill me. With cats it can go either way," he shrugged, as Gaz slouched in her posture and rested her head on his shoulder. Joker glanced down at her and smiled, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"How are you holding up?" he asked, as the cat began walking in a tiny little circle in preparation to lie down on him.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"You have had a lot of emotional shit go down – I've had a lot of physical shit."

"With our powers combined we're-"

"A broken, sad, hermaphrodite?"

"I was gonna go with a normal person, but yeah – that works too."

Joker leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

A smile tugged at her lips, "It's nice to have you back."

"It's nice to be back. And have pants."

"I can imagine."

–

Anderson stared down at the text before him, rage searing through him. How could they do this to Shepard? After all she had done for everyone? With every trial, he had attempted to fight her free. However, the fight was quite a bit harder than he had prepared for. They didn't just want to strip her of her rank and ship – but also throw her in jail and feed the key to a Thresher Maw.

"Counselor?"

"What is it, Udina?" Anderson asked, not looking up from his console.

"Let them have Shepard."

"Excuse me?"

"Your personal interest and investment in Shepard has caused the rest of the Council to feel like you're easily persuaded and unsuited for the job."

"Bullshit. I'm fighting for justice here!"

"How long have you known Shepard, Anderson? Since she was a street rat on Earth?"

"This doesn't concern you, Udina."

"You are compromised by this girl!"

"Get out of my office."

"Why are you even here, Anderson? We both know you hate it."

The man finally glanced up from his console, "Because humanity needs a soldier in charge."

"Why?"

"To keep the Council on their toes, Udina."

"I'll let you work, Counselor. Sorry for the intrusion," Udina left angrily, leaving Anderson's mind swarming. He did hate this job. He hated the people he dealt with. He hated how people saw him and what he did and didn't accomplish.

"Maybe it's time to go home..." he mumbled to himself, eyes searching Shepard's next trial.

–

"Joker...?" Gaz watched as the bearded pilot leaned his head on his hands, his face notably flushed. He had been quiet through the day – unusual for the snarky man.

"I'm fine," his voice quiet, as he pet the cat on his lap – concentrating almost too much on his hand movements.

"You feel like shit, huh?"

"Yeah."

Gaz crouched next to his wheel-chair, and slid her hand carefully onto his forehead – bumping his hat up slightly.

"You're running a fever."

"I know."

"Other symptoms?"

Joker lifted his eyes to hers and chose to make hand motions rather than speak. His first motion was twirling his fingers in circles around his head, before sticking his tongue out.

"Dizzy?

He nodded slowly, before rubbing his hand over his stomach then running it up his body to his mouth. His fingers danced away from his lips.

"Nauseous?"

Again, he nodded.

"Want me to get Chakwas?"

He shook his head, and mouthed the word, 'normal.'

Gaz frowned, not fully understanding, before pulling herself to a full standing position – jumping slightly when Joker coughed.

His eyes closed and he took a deep breath. Gaz, having felt similar when she had awoken from death, recognized what was going to happen next. She slowly pushed his wheel-chair into the bathroom, before taking his hat.

"Keeping it safe."

He made waving motions with his hands to attempt to make her leave.

'Good, he isn't the "hold my hair back" sort. I can stand blood but not puke,' Gaz silently thought as the door closed behind her.

Pulling up her omni-tool, Gaz sent Chakwas the message:

"Burning up, dizzy, and now throwing up. Help.

-Gaz Shepard."

Surprisingly her omni-tool buzzed moments after she sent the message.

"Keep him hydrated and he'll be fine. If it persists for more than a few hours, I'll stop by. Keep me posted.

-Chakwas."

With a deep breath, Gaz sat on her bed – eyes glued to the door of the bathroom. Being a soldier, she wasn't the best at this sort of thing. Should she go in there? Should she set something up in here? This was the medics' job, not hers.

The whole 'civilian life' thing was really...weird, for Shepard. Her missions consisted of going to the store for food and cleaning. Thanks to a recent failed trial, she now was under house arrest. This meant that her 'missions' to buy food were now either under guard or she had to ask someone to pick up the food for her.

While it was nice having a soft bed and warm food – she hated every second of it.

–

Joker leaned his forehead against his hands – eyes staring at the opening in the bottom of the toilet, which carried the various substances away. His mind was spinning and unable to grasp any solid thought. The temperature of his skin kept changing, making him feel clammy and faint. Then there was the issue of what he had eaten for breakfast was refusing to be digested into his system.

His fingers dug into his shaggy hair, as he fought off another wave. He hated Kaidan for doing this to him. If that asshole had simply chosen to act like an adult and not beat the living-hell out of Shepard's new boyfriend, then perhaps he'd be getting laid right now, instead of in a wheel-chair after being in a hospital for a month and currently throwing up everything he had eaten over the day.

Joker closed his eyes, taking even breaths. From the way Gaz had been acting all day, he assumed that she wasn't comfortable taking care of people. This only made him feel more awkward. He was already someone who was considered 'handicapped' – now he was even more of a burden.

"God...fucking...dammit..." he sighed, wondering if the medication he had to take was causing this – or it was simply the fact that his stomach was partially rebuilt since Kaidan broken several ribs, which actually ended up ripping his stomach and destroying a good portion of it. Maybe a little of both.

Joker jumped as heard the door open.

"Nothing good in here," he mumbled – keeping his eyes glued to the water beneath him.

"How are you doing?" Gaz stood awkwardly just within the edge of his peripheral vision. It was strange to see a woman who had taken down some of the biggest villains within galactic history, looking...awkward.

"Just fine. I'm puking rainbows so it actually feels good and tastes like awesome."

"Awesome has a taste?"

"Yes."

"Right..."

There was a beat of silence as Joker felt his body's temperature shift yet again – causing a bit of sweat to form on his brow.

"Gaz...I don't mean to be rude, but do you want something?"

"I...brought you Steve."

Joker risked movement to see the woman holding the cat in front of her.

"You really have no idea what to do, huh?" he teased, a slight smile forming upon his lips.

"Not even a little bit."

"It's fine. Just go entertain yourself out there and I'll be out in a bit."

"Right..."

"Gaz?"

"Yeah?"

"Relax. I'll be fine.."

"Says the broken and sickly man who's leaning over a toilet."

"Quiet you."

Joker watched as the woman exited the bathroom, bringing the cat with her. Taking a few breaths, he tested his stomach. Surprisingly, Gaz's distraction had managed to settle things quite a bit. Rolling over to the sink, he threw some water on his face and stared up at his reflection. He looked so...sickly. Disgusted at his own appearance, his hands slid to the wheels of his chair, before rolling himself out of the bathroom.

Gaz watched him carefully, as if expecting him to burst into flames at any point. He pulled up beside the bed, causing Shepard to move next to him, and help him on to the bed. Joker's cheeks flushed slightly in embarrassment of the action. He hated being 'helped'. He hated being reminded he was incapable. Joker tried to hide his weaknesses from Shepard, since she was the opposite of him. She was one of the toughest and generally most badass people he had ever met. Yet if Joker sneezed too hard, he could crack a rib. This was why he never even entertained the idea of being with Gaz. It's why he half helped-out Kaidan when he was trying to get into Shepard's pants.

As he settled himself on the bed, Gaz placed herself next to him – sitting so lightly the bed barely moved. Shepard slid his hat back atop his head, smiling at the pilot. He offered a weak smile in return, before resting his head on her shoulder. Gaz wrapped both arms around him, resting her head on top of his head.

"I'll kill Kaidan for you if you want."

Joker smiled at Gaz's off-handed offer, nuzzling her warm and oddly comfortable shoulder slightly. Suddenly he understood why she always rested her head on his own shoulder.

"Nah, it's fine."

"I really wouldn't mind. Insist even."

"Gaz, you're already under house arrest."

"So I have to be sneaky. If I can take down the Collectors, why can't I be stealthy about killing Kaidan?"

"Because you're a soldier, not infiltrator. Stealth isn't your thing," Joker reasoned, listening to heartbeat.

"Then I'll pay Zaeed to do it for me," she decided, her heartbeat accelerating slightly.

"Gaz...no murder."

"But he hurt you."

"I'm not...mad at Kaidan."

"I...how?"

"What's funny here is that you two pretend to be romantically involved, but you guys don't know each other at all."

"Past tense on the romantically involved, thank you very much."

"Kaidan is a really emotional person. He's been...unstable since your death."

"I know."

"No, you don't."

"Then tell me," Gaz's voice annoyed.

"He's been spiraling. He was my friend, once. I did a lot for him over the years. Especially after you died. Between Anderson and me, we kept him from...well...killing himself."

Gaz's heart rate increased, "He was that bad?"

"Constant watch for the first two months. What I'm getting at here, is that he's still healing. The fact that he's doing as well as he is...well I'm impressed. Yes, he's a dick and I'd prefer avoiding contact with him now...but I don't hate him."

"You're a good man, Jeff Moreau."

"Ew...full names. Am I in trouble, mom?"

Gaz laughed under her breath, playing with the hair that poked out of the back of his hat, "How are you feeling?"

"A lot better. I think I might just sleep for a bit, though. Turning your stomach inside-out is fun and all, but it's really tiring."

Gaz laughed under her breath.

"I can imagine..." she glanced down at Joker, noticing his eyes were already closed – breathing slowing. A smile spread across her face, before she rested her head atop his once more, and closed her own eyes.

–

AN: Again a longer delay between chapters than I would have liked. Sorry. The sickness was just...gah – and inspired a good portion of this chapter! While I didn't have a biotic break my ribs and shred my organs, I basically was as sick as Joker in this chapter. Not fun. My original write of this chapter ended the entire story. I didn't like it. It felt...rushed. Honestly, what inspired me to stop and think on how to give you guys something better...was all the Story+ alerts that are signed up for this story. I keep getting more and more emails telling me you guys keep adding this to your alerts, and it's blowing my mind. Thank you. Really. I'll do my best to continue this story for a bit longer, and avoid using the word 'said' at all costs when typing dialogue. This is my longest fanfic and I should end it right.

Anyway, back to the chapter. I threw in a little Anderson in there because I love Anderson. All Mass Effect need more Anderson. Always. This chapter is somewhat sweet and fully concentrates on their relationship, which is just...nice. I felt like it needed to be developed more. Also, awkward Shepard doesn't know how to take care of people. I like her idea of just handing him a cat. Go Shepard, go!

I've actually sat down and planned out a lot more content for this piece, before reaching its end. I am going to end it where Mass Effect 3 starts – so this story will now be filling the gap between now and then. I believe I have about five months left to fill, if I so wish.

Also random note on facts I use within these chapters lately. I'm avoiding Mass Effect 3 spoilers since it did just come out, but I'm using little facts that are mentioned in the game – like Chakwas' first name, for instance. Hope that leaves everyone happy.

Rated M for: Language, future sexual situations, future violence, and so I can have freedom without fear of scarring a teen for life.

Oh – and I don't own anything ever.