A/n: WARNING: I'm relatively new to Doctor Who, so I haven't finished s6 yet (I'm in between The Doctor's Wife and The Rebel Flesh). I have seen spoilers, and I did use Wikipedia, but this is probably in no way an accurate description of the Doctor's relationship with River Song. However, this is an AU, which means any mistakes I make can be blamed on altered timelinesJ. Don't you just love it when perfect excuses create themselves for you?
Okay, so this is unbeta'd. Actually, most of the chapters in this thing are, but since After Each Dawn offered to beta this for me, I feel bad posting this without showing it to her. However, I also have this compulsion to post at least a chapter a day, and that means that I only have 28 minutes if I want to post this Today and not Tomorrow (27 min.). This is where a time machine would come in handy.
Possible Spoiler Alert: River Song. As in, Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead River Song, but with slight mentions of her (altered) past.
000
It isn't fair. Maybe it's childish of her to think that, but it's true and she hates it and she wishes with every fiber of her being that it could be different, but it isn't and there's nothing she can do about it.
Because now, she has to make a choice, and neither of the options are pretty. Either way there will be consequences, and either way it will be all her fault. She might change the outcome of the universe with this choice but she has no idea which one is the right one.
She can let him live on in the dark—no, bad choice of words there, considering the situation—she can let him live on, never knowing the truth. He'll be happier, even if he won't realize it. He'll figure out how to get away or stop the Vashta Nerada or something, and everything will work out fine. Only, he won't trust her, and if he doesn't trust her then he won't be completely focused on saving them and something will go drastically wrong. People will die, or they won't be able to save them, and it will only add to the huge pile of guilt that weighs down on him every time she sees him.
On the other hand, she can tell him the secret. She's figured out where he is in his timeline now, she thinks, and she knows just what to make him realize that he can trust her, at least a little bit. They'll be able to work together and save lives, but at a price. She doesn't know what the price will be yet. He could be unaffected by what she knows, but he could be broken in two by it. She won't know until she tells him, and by then it will be too late.
This is the price she pays for coming from a family of time travelers. The risk of causing a paradox is always there because she never knows if something she says will change their future, if something they say is changing hers. It's painful, always living with that uncertainty and right now, at this moment, could be the worst it's ever been. Her entire timeline could change; people who should have lived could die because of right here, right now, with the right or wrong words.
She's scared, and she can't show it, can't let anybody know. If he thinks that she's scared, he could think that she's guilty and that won't help anybody. If the others think she's scared they could start to panic. The Doctor is all well and good, but she's one of them, one of the team, and she's practically in charge of them. She has to be a good leader, just like he always was (will be? God, she hates mixing tenses with time travel, it never works).
He's staring at her, waiting for her to say something, and the time has come to make her choice.
"Doctor, one day I'm going to be someone you trust. But I can't wait for you to find that out. So I'm going to prove it to you, and I'm sorry. I'm really, very sorry." She leans up and whispers in his ear. Two words, one syllable each, nothing special on their own, but incredibly important when put together.
She whispers, "Bad Wolf," and stands back to watch his reaction.
000
A/n: Cliffie! Mwahaha... (14 mins.)