Day 0 -

There was this anguish in his chest that simply would not cease to disturb him. Like a flame burning inside his chest, it seemed to burn through his insides, leaving behind a sharp pain that prickled both his mind and body simultaneously.

It took Kazuto a few moments before he recognized the feeling – It had been a while since he had felt like that, since that particular variation of fear stabbed him from the inside and left him gasping for air.

He had felt afraid many, many times. And that's because, in essence, Kirigaya Kazuto was a coward – He was merely experienced in hiding his fears behind layer upon layer of carefully constructed masks.
And because he was a coward, he had experienced many different kinds of Fear throughout his admittedly short life. He had feared for his life, yes, more than once – But before that, he had already been afraid.

Afraid of rejection. And, before that, afraid of being discovered. Afraid of being hurt by those 'above' him.

Even so, that particular moment baffled him. He hadn't much to fear, at that moment, did he?
He was reasonably sure his body wouldn't merely give up on him, even if it was still frail as a slip paper, still felt like it'd crumble beneath the weight of his own pathetic desperation at any second. And the doctors hadn't told him anything particularly worrying –

He had been awake for around 2 hours, and he had already been questioned by two doctors about his physical state. And, considering everything, they seemed moderately relieved by his answers – Which wasn't too surprising.

Kazuto had pointed out the danger they'd be in by staying too long inside SAO, anyway. A human body was a complex, fascinating machine, but even it had its limitations. He doubted he'd be able to stand for a while – His muscles had probably atrophied beyond he could even imagine.

His own questioning about Asuna had been pushed aside, however, which bothered him deeply. The nurse had promised she'd look into it as soon as they were sure he himself was okay – which he was obviously not.

He understood the reasoning behind it, of course. Rationality would take the forefront always, and, considering Kayaba had kept his promise and logged out every lost soul from the illusion that had been that castle in the sky, the staff was probably too overworked to stop and search for a patient AND take care of him.

However…

However, he –

Whatever. He'd get out of here soon enough – The second his legs were able to sustain his weight, he'd stumble away from this white birdcage and find her by himself, with his own hands.

That was a promise – Somewhere out there, Asuna was waiting for him, yearning to find him just as he was to find her.

Kazuto looked towards the large window that adorned the left wall of his room, where copious amounts of light filtered inside, brightening pretty much everything even though the lights themselves were off.
His eyes burned a little, still –but that was a small price to pay for the assurance he got from the sight.

The skyscrapers and concrete buildings might be the definition of normal for everyone else – Just as they had been for him¸ so long ago. But now, after everything, they seemed so alien, so bizarrely advanced when compared to Aincrad's architecture.

Uglier, too. Ugly and gray and chaotic – Everything our shack on the 22th wasn't.

He'd have a hell of a time discovering this concrete jungle again. Tokyo was just as much a maze as any dungeon, except you didn't actually have to traverse it all to get where you want.

Or was it? He felt like that was true, but he didn't quite remember.

Aincrad wasn't… From a standard point-of-view, the castle wasn't actually real. It seemed real, surely, and it had consequences as real as any war, but it lacked the gritty feeling of dispersed impotence that made Earth as real as it was.

And yet –

His two years in Aincrad seemed to occupy twice as much room in his mind when compared to everything that came before it. It was like Aincrad was the majority of Kazuto's life, and the 14 years that came before his arrival there were merely background noise, gone in a second.

He used to have colleagues in Middle School, right? He was sure he did, and yet –

He couldn't remember their names or faces. School in general, in fact, seemed like a daydream – A distant memory, so long ago that each and every detail had long since escaped his mind and drifted away into nothingness.

His musings were once more interrupted by a nurse walking into his room. The door was left open, this time, but her steps were still audible, and he had trained himself to be alert to each and every sound for two years.

This one was older, perhaps around 40, with a few wrinkles on her pale face. Her lips were thin and her eyes slightly curved, but she didn't look unkind at all – Merely tired.

Which she must be. How many more had awaken today? Klein, Liz, Agil…

God.

He missed them, too. That would be a fun reunion.

Regardless, she stared at him for a few seconds. It dawned upon him that he was staring at her, so she was probably waiting for him to say something.

Weird.

He tried to send her a small smile, but his facial muscles kind of ached when he did so, and so it drifted away.

"Is everything okay?"

He asked her, his voice barely above a whisper, and GOD, he did NOT usually sound like this. Kazuto sounded like he had choked on gravel and then gargled on Sulfuric Acid.

Which would make sense, because his throat certainly burned like he had done exactly that.

The nurse smiled at him, her eyes carrying a certain warm glint that was actually pleasing to see. If nothing else, the woman certainly cared about her patients.

"Your family is coming to see you,"

She announced, her voice echoing inside his head for a few seconds. He stared at her blankly for a moment or two, eyes dull, because the meaning of what she said simply didn't –

Oh.

Kazuto let out a small breath. It sounded more like a whimper to his ears, broken and pathetic, and suddenly, in a flash, the burning fear in his chest simply clicked, made sense, and he understood the reason behind the agony.

Whether he was Kazuto or Kirito, some things didn't change, and one of them was that he was always, always, overthinking things, analyzing details. Yet, once upon a blood moon, his brain and his mouth synced for a split second –

And this was one of said moments. So, he said –

"Oh."

Well…
Well. Fuck.

This was going to suck. His breath got caught in his throat for a second, and he ended up collapsing back on the bed, head against the pillow once more, eyes up towards the ceiling.

'His family' was Asuna and Yui, not –

When she said that, she was probably talking about his moth- Midori, Suguha and…

Him.

This had been a small nightmare of his for far longer than you'd expect – One of the many, many vulnerabilities he made sure to keep locked behind snarky comebacks and a strong front. Had he known – He had, but tried to ignore that – this would happen so soon, Kazuto would have talked to Asuna about it.

Okay.
Probably not.
They rarely ever talked about their lives outside of Sword Art Online. Not because they were scared to, because Kirito had trusted Asuna with everything and Kazuto still did, would always do – but simply because it had all seemed so…

Far away, in a way.

But still.

The nurse had long since left, probably taking his reaction as a sign of shock (and wasn't it?) and exhaustion, which, of course, would make sense, seeing from her perspective. So – He was alone, once again, and, even though it was all inside his head, (like everything important seemed to be, now) Kazuto could listen to a clock ticking down, tick tock tick tock, just as clearly as he had heard his own raspy voice.

In a few moments, Suguha and Midori and (he) would walk into his room, stare down at him, and then…

Then, what?

He hadn't the slightest idea, and was only now realizing it.
In his nightmares, on some nights, they would scream and call him pathetic and (He) would…

But that was unrealistic, and he knew so. That wasn't how human beings operated – Had never been, would never be.

The question, however, is –

He had distanced himself from them long before he had ever been locked away. And now that he was back…

Whatever came next?

If she didn't know any better, Suguha would have guessed she was in a dream. After all, during the period her brother was trapped inside Kayaba Akihiko's cursed Death Trap, she had dreamed about his eventual return day after day after day.

And what sister wouldn't? Regardless of her intimacy with him (or lack thereof), she was sure that yearning for her brother's return was merely natural. Perhaps.

Maybe.

She wasn't really sure of anything anymore. Her head felt like a jumbled mess of lost words, hollow memories and childish fantasies, none of which made any sense together. Her mother held her hand tightly – So tightly, in fact, that it actually hurt – while the Taxi Driver drove them to the Hospital where Kazuto awaited them, but she barely paid it any mind.

God.

It had been two years since she last saw Kazuto. Two years. That's 17520 hours, meaning 1051200 minutes, meaning 63072000 seconds, but…

Somehow, it felt like it had been just a month since she last saw her brother in his overly black wardrobe arguing with someone online about some VRMMO through his cellphone while they walked to school together.

She hadn't even noticed the car had stopped until she felt her mother's hand shaking her shoulder, breaking her out of her self-imposed stupor quickly – Her head snapped up so quickly her teeth clacked against one another, and she turned her wide eyes to stare at her mother's face.

It had always fascinated her in a way, the way Midori seemed to preserve her own youthfulness whilst still looking mature. Her black hair was as perfectly trimmed and combed as it had always been, framing her face in a way that usually made her look more business-like.

Now, however, that aura of mature invulnerability that she had grown to associate with her Mother had been broken, like it had been two years ago, and Suguha almost laughed as she realized that, in the end –

Her mother was just as shocked as she was. She wasn't the only one feeling lost and happy and sad and angry and terrified all at the same time – Not the only one whose feelings seemed to form an angry, incomprehensible hurricane inside her head.

They both got up, and, as Suguha watched the cab leave, wheels making barely no sound against the asphalt upon which it stood – She realized.

This?
This was a gift. This was her chance, a miracle in and on itself – A chance to make it up to Kazuto, to make it up toherself.

She gazed upon the entrance to the hospital. A small stairway made out of stone led to a large entrance framed by green concrete, and she could see more and more people crowding the inside of the Hospital.
Even from her position, watching it all from a small distance, she could feel it in the air – Desperation and hope all at the same time, saturating the air from each and every one of these faces. Some were crying, some were laughing, but the sheer relief that flooded that place was so thick she almost choked.

She tugged on Midori's hand softly, fingers caressing her mother's hand as if to placate her, calm her, even though Suguha's own heart seemed to be exploding against her chest in unbelievable speeds. In response, her mother tightened her hold of her hand slightly, comfortingly – A single moment was dedicated for them.

Suguha breathed deeply, felt the oxygen filling her lungs and stuffing her chest. As she exhaled, she feared she'd choke on her fears.

But what were they worth, now? Her guilt, her happiness, her sadness – They didn't mean a thing if she froze now.

So, she took a step forward. Then, she took another.

In a few seconds, she was inside, her mother trailing behind her. How ironic was it that the one time in her entire life where she would lead and comfort Midori would be this particular day?

The attendant was surrounded by dozens upon dozens of the families that SAO had torn apart, shredded and threw to the wind, condemned to watch a life slowly drift away without any power to do anything – Children and teenagers, most of them.

Suguha prided herself on her kindness. To be rude was simply preposterous for someone like her, especially to a stranger. However, there was no time to waste – No time at all. She bumped against the back of a crying mother, was pushed aside by a father who looked like he had been gifted the world. And she pushed back, for she was just one of the many in this desperate crowd.

It took only a minute or two for her to get to the attendant. Poor boy – He seemed no older than 24, and clearly had no idea what to do at that situation. He kept repeating "keep calm" and "please give me a moment!" as if those words would somehow placate even a fraction of the raging inferno of emotions that burned inside each and every single human being right there and then.

"Excuse me," Midori exclaimed from her right, drawing his attention. His protest died before it left his trembling lips – Her mother had a special way to intimidate people with her gaze alone.

Before he could gather his thoughts, she continued.

"I am Kirigaya Midori. I've received a call just now, telling me my son has awoken and is able to receive visits. I would like to see him."

And, as if an afterthought, she added, her voice turning harsh.

"Now."

And what in the world could be said in response to something like that? The boy behind the counter merely nodded, panicked, and asked, his voice quivering as he took in everything that was happening around him.

"What… What's his name?"

And Midori answered, unwavering –

"Kazuto. Kirigaya Kazuto."

Not even 10 minutes after that, they were both in an empty-ish corridor, walking through room after room and between a myriad of desperate doctors and nurses, each and every one of them looking both overjoyed and overworked. She pitied them, in a way – Since the game had apparently been beaten, that meant…

Each and every single one of the SAO players who had been asleep had awoken. And that's… a lot.

But that didn't matter, either.

The doctor who was leading them was saying something, had been for a while now – But Suguha couldn't make out a word that left his lips, for the sound got lost inside the cacophony of silent shouting that was her mind at that moment.

And then –

All stopped.

They were staring down an open door, leading to a room painted white. She'd been there many, many, many times, but each and every time seemed like the first. The bouquet of white roses she had left him last month was still there, a little wilted but still as vibrant.

The curtains were opened, and light came in with ease , illuminating every detail and deformity in the floor and in the walls.

And, sitting up on the bed he had been on a coma in for two entire years, she spotted the ghost of someone who was still alive. Arms thinner than the Shinai she trained with, skin paler than the sheets of the bed he was on – His raven locks of hair had a dirty, oily aspect to them which accentuated the disparity of the picture beyond her wide eyes.

His hair was far longer now, reaching up to his back and partially covering his face. It reminded her a lot of her mother's, in a way.

She stared at the ghost, black eyes so wide she was certain they'd pop right off her face like in old horror movies.

And, with eyes just as wide, Kazuto Kirigaya stared back.

Each and every thought that was raging within Kirito's mind ceased to be the exact instant he laid eyes upon the ghosts of his past that stood before his eyes. It was as if, for a moment – a second that could have lasted a thousand years – time had ceased to move forward.

He laid eyes upon his Mother and Sister, and suddenly, in a flash, he was nine again, playing War with them both on the kitchen table and laughing maniacally every time he managed to conquer a country.

God.

God.

Midori – Oh, God. – looked just as she had when he left, just as she had in the guiltiest of his dreams, the ones where he yearned for –

For what?

Not even that was within his reach at this moment. He was sure that, in a minute or two, his resentment would simply come spiraling back at him in full speed, reminding him of everything that had been and would be – but not now.

And Suguha…

When… When did she get so tall?

She had grown. She had grown so much.
Her face had matured, even if she still preserved the baby fat that had made her adorable when she was 12. Even through the jacket she wore, he quickly noticed she had been training diligently for these two years – It was both in her musculature and in the way she held herself, the way her posture was naturally erect but never stiff.

She had grown at least 18 centimeters since he last laid eyes upon her, if not more. And even beyond that, she simply looked and felt older, more mature, less of the child she'd been – they'd both been – two years ago.

This –

He had pictured it, sometimes. Of course he had. And although she had barely changed, she had also changed beyond his wildest dreams, and to see it in real life, to share that single moment of shocked contemplation stole the breath right from his lungs, froze a lump inside his throat.

He –

Kazuto had never been good with words. And when he became Kirito, he had gotten even worse, because, as Kazuto, he at least had to talk to people daily, even if not for long periods of time. As soon as he got the opportunity, Kirito shut himself out for weeks. He was The Beater for a reason.

So, his dry lips parted, curving into a small smile – Fake. It was faker than any other, but the emotion behind it was more real than anything that came before – and:

"Hey, Sugu. S'been a while."