I Saw Spain Kissing Santa Claus
Romano woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one sullen box that looked like a bathroom.
Then Romano noticed that Spain was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.
Romano thought that he would surprise Spain. Maybe even sneak up behind him and headbutt him on his obnoxious hair curl. That always made Spain stingy.
Romano crept furiously down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its aromatic lights, and the presents, heaped up cheerfully, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Spain. Kissing someone.
Romano was so angry, he picked up a tomato from a table and threw it sarcastically at an art school party.
They both looked around.
"Spain, you pedophilic gilbird!" Romano yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Romano looked and then rubbed his nipple and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Spain said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a needy kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Romano said despairingly. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be wet."
That seemed reasonable. Romano went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like a potato-eating bastard. He made Romano's crotch feel all bratty.
"You see?" Spain said perversely and Romano saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.