Chapter Twelve

Jake POV

Okay, I'll admit it. I'd totally screwed up everything that was going good in my life and now things were going from bad to worse. I lay awake in bed after I got home from Adam's, the hurt look in his eyes completely messed with my sleep and I was forced to dwell on what was said after our seriously hot make out session. Adam thought I was using him as an experiment? How could he think that?! The fact that I was not a stereotypical gay (neither was Adam), we're just two guys who care about each other and have an amazing connection and Adam thought I wasn't being sincere?

If I'm being honest, coming to the conclusion that I may be gay is scaring the shit out of me and the thought that I may have feelings for someone that won't or is too scared to feel the same is absolutely terrifying. But how could I not like Adam, that dude is perfect and he didn't even know it.

I closed my eyes and relived the breathtaking moments of when I kissed Adam and it quickly became a lot more hotter. Those lips were incredible and I couldn't get enough of them, the way he touched me with such gentle hands it made my skin crave more of his touch on my body, his muscles that were perfectly toned and defined made me want to kiss every part of his light skin and hearing him say "You're beautiful," no one had ever called me that and it felt amazing hearing it from his lips.

Then I ruined it, by pushing too far and totally freaking him out. God, I was so stupid!

How could I prove to him that I was serious? I mean after what had happened, I can't keep deluding myself that kissing a guy like that hadn't turned me on and the fact that it was Adam was what made it more incredible… this thing between us was emotional and not just physical.

Fuck it, I wasn't giving up on Adam without a fight and I was going to prove to him that what we felt for each other was the real business.

You know when I said things were getting worse, that was the understatement of the fucking century. I hadn't counted on there being any evidence of mine and Adam's… meeting and yet I'd failed to notice it as I got out the shower and got dressed the following morning, but Mom noticed it as soon as I walked into the kitchen and she glared at the small bruise on my neck.

"What's that?" she demanded, her dark hands grabbing my face as she examined the purple mark and her eyes widened with shock "who gave you that hickey?!"

Oh shit! I thought I'd got carried away, but Adam definitely had as well and yet neither of us noticed he gave me a hickey when he was kissing my neck. How was I going to explain this one?

"No one," I said firmly, but I knew she didn't believe me "it's a bruise."

"That ain't no bruise, boy!" Mom snapped angrily and I knew she was going to flip out "you think I've got time to listen to your lies? I've had to get time off work so I can talk to your priniple and beg him not to expel your ass!"

Here we, but I'd learnt to just tune out when she went off on one and wait until she's finished so we can go. There's no way in hell I'd tell her that a white guy had given me that hickey and I definitely won't be telling Noah, they would probably go into shock. Once she shouted herself hoarse (meanwhile I was sort of daydreaming about Adam and his amazing smile), we were finally allowed to leave. Principle Figgins had one of those long and mind-numbing voices that had a strong Indian accent, but all the stuff he was saying wasn't anything new… violence doesn't solve your problems and I can achieve great things as long as I sent my mind to it - blah, blah, blah!

Long story cut very short, because Blaine had admitted for some unknown reason that he was being racist to me, we were both being suspended for four weeks and neither of us were going to be kicked out.

Thank fuck for that.

"Neither yours or Mr Anderson's behaviour is tolerated at this school," Figgins concluded seriously "if this happens again, the consequences will be much worse. Understand?"

"Yeah," I said quickly, jumping to my feet and practically running to my destination, there was one person I needed to see before I left for nearly a month.

"Adam!" I called as I sprinted to his locker, where he was shoving his books into his locker and looked at me warily.

"What?" he asked, looking nervous and I moved closer to him, standing closer to him so that no one would notice me brushing my fingers on his forearm and I looked at him sincerely.

"About last night, we need to talk." I said softly and already Adam was shaking his head, which made me sigh silently in frustration.

"Jake, just leave it, ok-" Adam began, but I cut across him. I wasn't going to let him brush our kiss under the rug and pretend it didn't mean shit, because it meant something to me and I know it was the same for him as well.

"I can't" I said earnestly and I wanted nothing more than to grab him and kiss him, to show how he made me feel, but I knew that wasn't a smart move "Adam, please just give me ten minutes… that's all I'm asking, somewhere alone where we can really talk… I mean, we're still friends…"

My voice faltered and I glanced at my shoes, avoiding Adam's green eyes and I looked up feeling slightly hopeful at his next words.

"Of course we are, Jake." Adam said gently, looking torn as he hesitated for a moment before continuing "alright, ten minutes."

Autor's Note: Thanks for reading and a review to give any feedback on what you think of how this is progressing would be great and very much appreciated :)