Twenty

Adam

The next few days felt like being zapped into a parallel universe and not one I liked. It was quite worrying. Everyone in the family seemed to have short term memory loss - like the last three months were a bad dream.

So you can get my unease hearing Mum's humming as I walked into the kitchen, rucksack slung over my shoulder. She was stood over the stove cooking what looked like waffles - except most waffles don't look jet black and chared through.

"Oh hi," Mum beamed, she had a sickly sweet housewife look about her which was very unlike her "breakfast?"

"I'm good," I grimaced, deciding to grab breakfast en route to school. Another disconcerting sight caught my attention, Kate eating bacon at the table. Actual bacon.

"I thought you were vegan?" I asked, admittedly surprised at the sudden change. I'd gotten used to the sight of carrot sticks in the fridge.

"That's over, I mean it's a bit American isn't it? I mean, me having this ain't going to sa e the animals and if I don't it still don't make a difference."

She shrugged. Although I noticed the smallest shift in her expression. She was uncomfortable. Please don't tell me she's forcing herself to eat meat to please Mum? That's ridiculous.

"You know, you don't have to-" I tried saying softly, but stopped mid-sentence when Kate glared daggers at me. My stomach sank, I knew she wasn't happy about eating meat anymore than I was with the Crimes of Grindelward movie. I turned to go, wanting to duck out of breakfast before I lost several teeth on those waffles and almost ran into Dad.

"Oops, sorry dad. Just heading out." I stuttered, unable to meet his eyes. I had intentionally avoiding conversation with him - what with him allowing Mum back in with open arms and losing my virginity to Jake Puckerman, a father/son conversation was the last thing on my mind. I allowed my mind to briefly float to Jake and my stomach had literally butterflies. The other night really was amazing and ever since then we had stolen ever moment alone, having lingering kisses in his car during lunch break, the passionate sexy times we sneak when we're supposed to be studying in his bedroom, the shy glances during class and gently caress of his hand on mine as we walked down the corridor - our fingers inches apart. Every tiny moment felt momentous and intense. Yep, I had fallen hard for that boy.

Dad sniffed the air, I smelt it too and we both knew something else was burning before Mum's explanation of "Shoot!"

"I'll drive you." Dad said and in that moment, I genuinely felt relieved.

The car drive was pretty quiet but not in a bad way, my stomach was doing somersaults all the same. How do I have this conversation? Do I even need to have this conversation? So I'm gay, dating a boy, having sex with a boy - safe sex mind you. God... my mind flashed back to my childhood where Dad sat me down for the birds and the bees talk, but it didn't include if two bees were doing it. If he tries to have that conversation, I might actually throw myself out of the car.

Dad ended up driving us to McDonald's and we ended up eating two greasy and meaty breakfasts in a booth. I swear, I had never found a breakfast and determinedly stared at tray as I ate. I steadied myself. Deep breath. My eyes stared glued to my burger in my hands.

Breathe. Breathe. Just breathe.

"Dad?" I said, the word coming out as a question "I'm gay."

That was it. I'd said it. The words left my lips and it felt weirdly final. I noticed him lower his milkshake slowly and chewed my burger, taking my time.

"Okay." He said simply and I looked up, surprised at his look of total nonchalant.

"Okay?" I said back, sounding stupider than I should "that's it?"

"Well, yeah?" Dad responded confused at my reaction "it's absolutely fine. It doesn't change who you are, it's not shocking in this day and age. You like boys, so what?"

My eyes stung slightly and I quickly brushed my sleeve against them. Relief washed over me like a Sunami and it felt amazing. Why had I built all this up in my head? Dad couldn't care less, but Mum might be a different story.

"So do you have a boyfriend?" Dad asked, my face must have been totally transparent because he smiled knowingly "who is he?"

"Jake." I answered simply. Dad's face went through several different expressions - surprised, confused, dumbfounded, awkward, irritated and then something that looked like reluctant acceptance. He was clearly fighting with what he should say fight, but instead he landed on the thing neither of us wanted to discuss.

"Just tell me you're both being safe." Dad grunted, avoiding my eyes or I think he was because I couldn't look at him either.

"Bloody hell, Dad. Yes, alright?" My face heated up as I'd unintentionally admitted to having sex and an awkward pause commenced. An alien invasion or the apocalypse would be greetky appreciated. Life wasn't that kind and instead dad mumbled something that sounded like "Good. That's good at least.".

Another pause and I looked at my father, for once he looked lost for words and I felt sympathy mixed with compassion for him.

"Do we have to hug?" He asked and even half raised his arms and I reluctantly grinned, shaking my head.

"Nah, I think we're good." I smiled as I took a drink of my coke and instead we fell into a comfortable silence. Some things need to be said, but how much he loved me as his son and didn't care who or what I dated didn't need to be said.

My phone buzzed and for once, I didn't have to hide my happiness when I saw Jake's name on the caller ID.