Chapter 5 – Racing hearts
A/N: A huge thanks to everyone who reviewed and PM'd me. You are awesome and you really do put a huge smile on my face every time you do. Big thankyou to TheTBone for your words of encouragement. Sorry that it took so long to update but things have been pretty hectic.
prentiss-be-mine: I'm soo glad that you love this story =) I know that seeing Olivia cry was strange but I think that if anyone is hurt badly enough, even the strongest of people, crying sometimes is inevitable. I mean, if you feel this undeniable strong connection with someone and then see them kissing another you'd feel crushed right? I will try to make my chapters longer from now on.
shadow-emotions2: I'm soooo happy you felt the need to review. It made me smile =)
Calzona: I feel sorry for the both of them not just Olivia.
abbierena: Nah your right I don't LOL. Olivia needs to go through all this for her to realise that being with Kathleen is something she really wants, it will make her appreciate it more and also relationships are never plain sailing. We know that from your stories LOL I love your stories! They are awesome, check them out people!
Katie: I'm glad you loved it baby. Yeah, I agree jumping into a relationship can spell disaster. I love you to sweetheart 3
Quinn: No it's not weird; I guess I kind of feel sorry for him too. I mean Kathleen did just get up and leave him there right?
I'llbearound: Yeah, maybe they will kiss soon or maybe not so soon. You'll just have to keep reading to find out.
It really goes without saying though, I DO NOT OWN SVU! So here is more of the story, hope you enjoy!
Olivia sat at her desk silently cursing Elliot for being late, she hated being at the squad before him. Not only did she have to wait for her morning tea and pastries but she had no-one to talk to. Fin and Munch were busy with a case.
If he isn't here in the next 10 minutes he can bet his ass I will . . . I will do something he won't want me too. She was really getting fed up of waiting.
25 minutes later and a total of an hour and a half late Elliot strolled through the door to the precinct hot beverages and breakfast foods in hand.
"Where the hell have you been? do you know how long I've been sitting here waiting? I'm starving . . . gimme that!" She exclaimed has she retrieved her long anticipated breakfast from Elliot.
"Hey. Are you crazy? You nearly spilt my coffee" Elliot juggled his own breakfast before collapsing into his desk chair; his head slumped into his hands. It was then that Olivia realised how exhausted he looked.
"Are you ok El?" she asked concerned.
"Uh . . . oh yeah I'm fine. Just got back from the hospital, been there most of the night." He slumped further into his desk.
"You went to see a vic without me?" Shock flew over her features; Elliot never interviewed a victim alone so soon after they were attacked. As their perpetrators were usually men Olivia is usually the one in their partnership to question a victim, or is at least present.
"No. I was visiting Kathleen".
"What?" Olivia almost shouted, a sickening feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. "Is she okay? What happened? When? Is she okay?"
"I'll tell you if you let me get a word in." Elliot chucked, touched by how much Olivia seemed to care about his daughter. "She is okay. Just a little bruised. She was getting a lift from her friend back to campus last night and they got into a little accident on a side road. They want to keep her in for a day or two because she was unconscious for a bit but other than that she's fine, keeping her in is just a precaution."
This did nothing to ease Olivia's worries. She desperately wanted to see Kathleen but then thought better of it.
"Oh. Ok. Well, send her my lo... give her my best wishes when you she her" Olivia carefully hid her slip. Usually sending your love to someone in hospital was seen as normal but she just felt weird asking Elliot to send her love to Kathleen what with what was happening between them.
"I sure will. Later. I'm visiting her after lunch. Kathy would only she can't make it because of work and so she's going later with Maureen and the twins."
"Ok. Well . . . Cragen is looking for blood. We better get to interviewing Hayes before he comes out here all veins bulging". Olivia wanted to move the subject away from Kathleen. She was still worried about her but Elliot didn't seem too worried so she set it aside.
XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX
"So let me get this straight" Olivia growled at their now cowering suspect. "You want us to believe that us finding your finger prints at the scene and your DNA in our victim a coincidence?"
"Y-Yeah?" Hayes whimpered.
"You're not serous? You left your swimmers in her. That proves you came inside her. Yet you tell us that you've never been intimate with her. That just screams rape." Olivia laughed unbelievingly at the bull this guy was trying to sell.
"Okay – Okay we fucked. But that's it she was into it."
"The bruises on her body say she wasn't." Olivia retorted disgusted.
"She liked it bitch" the now angry suspect sprung at Olivia.
Elliot saw that things were getting out of control and moved, serving as a wall between the suspect and his partner.
"Sit down" Elliot boomed.
But the suspect was relentless he reached around trying to grab hold of Olivia. He managed to grab a hold of her shirt before she tugged it, hard, out of his grasp.
"I said sit the fuck down, don't you fucking dare lay a hand on Detective Benson." Elliot shoved the guy sending him sprawling to the cold cement floor.
Cragen and Fin who had been watching with their ADA Casey Novac barged through the door; Fin handcuffed the now manic suspect and lead him out of the room.
"You can expect to be hearing from the chief when they hear about how your detective just manhandled my client Don". The slime ball of a defence attorney smirked as he followed Fin and is client out of the room.
"Detective . . . A word" Cragen ordered.
"Cap you must have seen him go for Olivia. What was I supposed to do? It's not like I hit the guy. I just shoved him a little?" he defended himself.
"A little? Elliot you damn near threw the guy clean across the room." Cragen looked to Olivia and his tone softened. He had always thought of her like a daughter and it made him proud that Elliot was protecting her. "Look come with me so that we can get to the chief before that slime ball out there and sort this out before the shit hits the fan".
Noticing how Olivia locked a little shaken up, not that she would admit it he ordered her to take the rest of the day.
"But Cap . . . I'm good. Really" she argued.
"It's an order detective!" he replied daring her to argue with him, wisely she decided not to and admitted her defeat with an accepting nod. On any other day she would have fought back and point blank refused to leave but finding out Kathleen was hurt and then being grabbed by Hayes she was not up to the fight that she would inevitably lose anyway. What Cragen says goes, most of the time anyway.
"Cap how long is this going to take?" Elliot asked.
"A couple of hours, maybe more."
"Ok give me a minute and I will be right with you Cap." Elliot really needed to see if Olivia was ok and ask her a favour.
"Sure, make it quick though Elliot we need to leave in the next 5 minutes."
Elliot turned to his partner, and gently squeezed her shoulder.
"You sure you're ok? That guy was a lunatic." Elliot asked concerned that Olivia was more shaken up than she was letting on.
"I'm fine Elliot. Seriously" and she was fine it did shake her up a bit but she'd had worse. "You better go sort this mess out. But thanks. For, you know, stepping in. But next time don't ok El. I can take care of myself. You stepping in makes me look incompetent."
"I know you can and I'm sorry but just so you know I would have done the same for Fin or Munch. It's not because you a woman Olivia. You're a great detective. Oh and seeing as I'm going to be having my ass chewed off and handed to me for the next few hours could you take a swing by mercy and check on Kathleen for me. I told her I'd visit but I can't now and Kathy . . ."
"Is at work I know. You said." Olivia interrupted more calmly than she felt. Inside she was freaking out. She had to go and see Kathleen. Now. Today. After that dream last night. Boy, this is going to be hard.
"Sure El" she agrees but inside she was back to silently cursing him again. First he's late. Then this? Ughh. But she had to admit that despite her apprehension she was secretly looking forward to seeing Kathleen again. It had been another two weeks since she saw her at the mall. Shit, the mall. Fuck now it's going to be even more awkward. Especially with the number of times she had dreamt of Kathleen saying those words again. "I think about you a lot, Kissing you . . . touching you". Damn.
XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX
Sitting in her car outside the hospital Olivia was engaged in a full internal battle. Go in, or not go in, that should be the bloody question.
She would pull herself together and then a picture of Kathleen all smiley and flirty would appear in her mind and she'd have to give herself the speech all over again.
Pull yourself together Olivia. Just go in there, see that she's ok. Tell her that her dad got his ass in trouble again so he'll see her tomorrow. Tell her to get well soon and then get your own ass out of there. Simple. You can do it.
Getting out of the car she gazed up at the cloudless sky, maybe she could do this. Yeah, she'll be ok. She continues on her pep speech into the hospital stopping to pick up a small pink teddy.
"Room of Kathleen Stabler please." Olivia asked the nurse who was leaning over the computer in front of her.
"Oh hello detective. Official business?" The nurse familiar with Olivia asked.
"Not today Aimee. Just visiting a . . . friend." Olivia told her.
"Okay deary, 242, next floor up. Have a nice day" she smiled warmly.
"You too Aimee. I'll see you soon no doubt." Unnerved by how true that statement really was, she saw Aimee at least once a week for work purposes. Turning the corner Olivia approached the stairs, thinking it would give her more time before seeing Kathleen.
238 . . . 240 . . . ah 242. Olivia peered into the window of Kathleen's room; she appeared to be sleeping facing away from the window. Deep breaths Olivia! Gosh my heart is beating so fast.
Opening the door she tiptoed into the room. Not wanting to wake the blonde just yet. Truth be told Olivia was now hoping to just watch her sleep for a bit. Gosh, stalker much? Now I even sound like her.
"Your late Dad." A soft sleepy voice could be heard before the blonde gently rolled over.
Kathleen looked up and saw that the beautiful figure before her wasn't her father. For a moment nothing was said as their eyes just connected and they stared longingly at one another. Olivia could feel the heat between them rising and so she was the first to break the silence in an attempt to stop them falling into dangerous territory.
"Hi" She all but whispered, shocked that that was her voice.
"Hey" Kathleen whispered back. "What are you doing here? Not that I mind" she smiled up at the brunette.
"Your Dad let his temper get the better of him and pushed a perp who tried to hit me. So he's with Cragen and asked me to fill in, I'm sorry."
"Someone tried to hit you? Are you ok?" Kathleen worried. Repeating Olivia's earlier concerns when she found out Kathleen was hurt.
"I'm fine Kathleen. And just so you know your Dad is to." Olivia laughed; Kathleen seemed more worried about her than her father. She was pretty flattered at the realisation.
"Oh right." Kathleen giggled, embarrassed.
"So are you ok? I mean your Dad said you were in a car accident." Olivia tried to make conversation but also wanted to know if she really was ok.
"Yeah, just the few bruises you can see on my arms and a few on my legs and ribs, and this beauty on my forehead but nothing serious. They are only keeping me in so that they can wake me up every hour to make sure I haven't died from a concussion or something." Olivia laughed at Kathleen's blasé explanation.
"I'm sure they know what's best." Olivia walked closer to the bed and leant her hip against it, staying towards the end so as not to be too close to the breath taking blonde.
"Yeah, doesn't mean I have to like it. I freaking hate hospitals." Kathleen grumbled.
"Yeah me too." Olivia agreed grimacing.
Kathleen's face fell."Oh you can go if you want, you don't have to stay."
Olivia was confused at first and then realised that Kathleen thought she was hinting at wanting to leave.
"No it's ok. I want to keep you company for a bit, I know how boring it can be just waiting for your next visitor." Olivia tried to reassure her that she wasn't going to just run out on her again. Yet.
"Ok" Kathleen smiled again. Dimples on show. Olivia couldn't help but smile back.
"I got you this." Olivia handed Kathleen the teddy bear.
If it was possible Kathleen's smile grew.
"Thankyou". The sincerity in Kathleen's voice made Olivia's breath catch.
"You're welcome sweetie." Olivia blanched at the pet name she just used.
Kathleen heard it too and her heart skipped a beat. Her heart monitor that was still hooked up registered it; she prayed that Olivia didn't notice. And thankfully she didn't.
Kathleen tried to push herself into sitting position. Olivia watched her groan in protest and leapt forward to help her.
Olivia's hands on Kathleen's bare skin made Kathleen's heart race. She looked up at Olivia who still had her hands on her but was now looking at the heart monitor.
Olivia looked at Kathleen worried at first that something was wrong but saw the bright blush painting her cheeks with arousal and looked back at the heart monitor knowing that it was her touch that caused this reaction in that beautiful blonde.
Olivia could help the smug smirk that grew on her face. She looked back at Kathleen's adorably blushing face before removing her hands. She watched as Kathleen's heart rate slowly slowed down again before she slowly began to reach out again and in anticipation of Olivia's touch Kathleen's heart began to beat faster. Until the machine was beeping louder and faster again like before as Olivia touched her skin.
A nurse came rushing in after the change in heart rate was recorded, looked at the pair who were so wrapped up in staring at each other they didn't notice her presence, smiled knowingly and then slowly inched out of the room.
"Wow" Olivia breathed.
"Yeah." Kathleen blushed embarrassed but amused by the way Olivia had taken her hands of her then put them back on again to gage her reaction.
"You make me nervous" Kathleen confided. "My heart beats faster whenever I see you but that was crazy." She blushed more profusely. "I can't believe you just heard that.
Olivia didn't know what to say. Someone else's reaction just to her simple touch had never made her feel like this before. She felt all girly and giggly but also very, very turned on. Knowing that her simple touch made the blonde heart beat faster sent pools of wetness between her legs.
"There's a tension between us Olivia, which I have to admit, is mostly sexual but I feel way more than just that for you". Olivia began to shake her head, "And don't deny it. I may not be a detective Olivia but I know when my feelings are reciprocated."
"I uh . . . I mean . . . wow" Olivia stuttered. She couldn't believe Kathleen just called her on her feelings. She wanted to just admit it and kiss her already, just one little kiss, but she knew that it would make things 10 times harder to walk away from her.
"Yeah you said that." Kathleen giggled again.
"You make me nervous too Kathleen" Olivia husked as she sat down next to Kathleen's legs facing her on the hospital bed. "That's what scares me, what happened to you just now happens to me when I even just think about you."
"You think about me?" Kathleen's face lights up at this new revelation. Olivia berates herself again for making things worse for Kathleen but she just cannot seem to lie to her and when she's with her she just says what she thinks. Which she never does, ever, especially not in her line of work.
"Yeah, more than I should" she admitted with a shy smile. Again, she didn't do shy. But Kathleen was just different.
"I haven't stopped thinking about you Olivia" Kathleen leaned forward slightly, easing closer to the female detective.
"We need to try harder to stop thinking about each other sweetie" Olivia regrettably forced herself to say, her tone somewhat distraught.
"I can't. I tried Olivia. I really did but you're all I think about." Kathleen cried desperately as her blue eyes filled with tears. Olivia was almost drowned in the guilt that washed over her.
"I'm sorry but we need to try a little harder Kathleen. I know how hard it is believe me." Olivia said seriously. She thinks back on her dream of Kathleen last night before banishing the image from her head. "But we have to; we can be friends Kathleen but nothing more."
"Friends?" Kathleen looked up at her through tear filled eyes.
"Yeah friends. That's all I can be to you right now."
Although Olivia didn't know it the right now at the end of her sentence gave Kathleen hope that maybe if they became friends and spent more time together Olivia would realise that these feelings wouldn't just go away because she wants them to.
"Ok, friends. I think I can do that." Kathleen perked up a little.
"Good, I'm glad." Olivia smiled down, wishing she could forget about everything, take the risk and become more than friends with the angel in front of her.
Olivia wanted so desperately to slide her arms around Kathleen and press a kiss to her temple, and be pulled into her lap but it was a longing that she had to deny. She couldn't afford to risk her friendship with Elliot.
Olivia held out her hand for Kathleen to shake. "Friends" she repeated.
"Friends" Kathleen echoed. When their hands came into contact the monitor beeped faster and louder once again.
Whilst she held the smaller, paler hand in her own Olivia couldn't help but picture them together, she pictured her naked. She shut her eyes, felling hot. Uncomfortable. This wouldn't work. Couldn't work.
A/N: So this chapter was much longer than any of the others. I really hope you like it. Next time Olivia and Casey have a little chat about a certain someone =P