Notes and Disclaimer in Part 1
X
Part 2
When Naruto first told Kurama about the idea of transferring him to Itachi and explained his thoughts on the seal, Kurama had straight out said, "When you finish this seal of yours, and I have no doubt that you will, and when this whole entire mess is done, you and the Uchiha are going to be connected in a way that no two other people on Earth would be. Just make sure you're ready for that, what with the way you're trying to ignore your clone's feelings towards him."
Naruto had tried not to dwell on that too much; couldn't let himself hesitate. He couldn't let himself think about anything that would compromise Itachi's health. Hesitating and doubting things would do that. He'd made himself almost blind and stupid to all the consequences in his quest to help Itachi. One day, in the very near future, things were going to come back and bite him in the ass. But as long as Itachi was well and alive, he knew it would all be worth it.
X
Ever since the truth of the Uchiha massacre had been slammed into his head, Naruto always wondered what Itachi had been like as a child. For one, he couldn't have been like Naruto. No way. Naruto couldn't imagine it. He couldn't see Itachi as man who had been loud and cheeky and ignorant as a child. And for two, Naruto doubted that Itachi even had a childhood at all. The Third Shinobi World War would have still been raging when Itachi was but a toddler, and only a few years after that, Madara had attacked Konoha with Kurama. So nobody could blame Naruto if he thought that Itachi had never really been just a child.
Transferring Kurama into Itachi, Naruto didn't really expect to be pulled along too. He was just supposed to be the bridge between the two consciences; to hold Itachi's open and let Kurama in. He expected to be that much closer to Itachi by doing that, but he didn't expect to be pulled in as well by Kurama.
The Nine Tailed Fox's conscience was like flowing lava. It was hot and suffocating, but it was also old and… strangely at peace. It flowed through Naruto. He couldn't tell if it was flowing from the right to the left or from the top to the bottom. It just swept in, through Naruto, and out, into Itachi's crumbling mind. And then, the very last of Kurama's conscience lashed onto him and pulled him into Itachi too.
Naruto was so shocked that he froze, absolutely and completely.
And he continued to be frozen as he took into the state of Itachi's mind, or his soul, or his spirit, whatever it was. It was crap. Naruto's was a sewer, full of pipes and tunnels and metal –it was lonely as hell, but it was stable-, but Itachi's was a just a flat, dry clearing, with crumbled walls and broken doors, and everything appeared to perpetually be in shades of dark blue, grey and black. It was a nightmare scenario. It was horrific. Naruto couldn't spot a living thing anywhere.
He released a heavy breath, and it came out sounding like a hysteric laugh. "Ahaha…" he trailed off weakly.
He stayed there and waited for Kurama. It was the fox that pulled him along in the first place. If the old demon wasn't with him, then Naruto had no intention of moving from that very spot. Knowing Itachi's current state, he could end up breaking something, and the damage would be permanent.
"It's not as bad as it looks," a deep, echoing voice spoke next to his ear. "For an Uchiha, this place is surprisingly tidy."
Naruto directed a horrified look at the floating, smoky figure next to him. Kurama appeared to him as a big, floating fox-head. The eyes were just as narrowed and angry-looking, the mouth pulled back in a mischievous grin. "You've gotta be kidding," he muttered. "Look at this place. It's literally falling apart." For emphasis he pointed towards the horizon of Itachi's mind, which was tinted white, as if it was a page slowly being ripped open, exposing the white, empty nothingness beneath. He wanted to say more, but then the strangest thing happened.
With his mouth hanging open, Naruto watched as a third figure raced across the horizon which he had been pointing at.
The figure was too far away for him to see for sure who it was. He only saw a long, flowing coat, long legs and messy hair as the mysterious figure sprinted. Fast. He or she –but Naruto had a feeling that it was a 'he'- moved unlike anybody had ever met in his life. Strangely enough, the speed, the coat and the hair had him thinking that perhaps his father also resided in Itachi's head, just as he had been in Naruto's for sixteen whole years. But no. Namikaze Minato had no reason to be in Itachi's head.
"Huh," Kurama scoffed by his side, narrowed eyes also watching the sprinter move. Naruto's hand limply fell to his side.
"What?" Naruto snapped when the demon refused to say anything else. "Am I the only one who's creeped out by this whole thing? Man, I shouldn't even be here. Why'd you bring me along?" And when Kurama continued to ignore him in favour of staring after the quickly-vanishing figure, Naruto added, "And who is he anyway?"
Kurama didn't answer right away. Instead, he said again, "Huh." Then he disappeared. Poof! And the giant floating fox-head dispatched. Naruto had no time to react. A second after the fox was gone, he reappeared by Naruto's other side. Poof!
There was a fluttering of a long coat, the softest thump of a footstep, and the figure that they'd been watching raced past Naruto, not even an arm's length away.
It was Naruto. It was another Naruto, but taller, broader, older, faster, stronger… Hokage. There was no doubt that Naruto was looking at himself. The three signature whisker marks were still there and his eyes were still the same blue, only narrower in shape. Naruto would spend hours pointing out the differences between himself, and the older him which resided in Itachi's mind, but he couldn't. He couldn't think any further than 'Hokage, Hokage, Hokage.' There was a Naruto inside Itachi's mind, and he was fast and strong and the freaking Hokage!
"What the hell… is going on?" He asked faintly, as the other him finally raced completely out of sight.
"There's no doubt that you're going to become the Hokage," Kurama purred, then looked around at the ruined landscape. "Not in here, at least."
"Really?" Naruto breathed, his eyes widening. Nothing but warmth and pride bloomed across his chest; a feeling not unlike when he had first laid eyes on Itachi after he dispelled the Clone. He was so happy that a soft, airy laugh escaped his lips. He stopped the laugh after a while, stood there smiling, and laughed again. It was one of the happiest moments of his life, and he had no idea how. 'Faith, faith, faith,' he chanted silently. 'Itachi has faith in me.' Suddenly, Naruto himself had no doubt. He was going to become the Hokage; absolutely and positively! It didn't matter at the moment that the elders thought he was sneaking off secretly to search for Sasuke, and they thought that his focus would be divided if he ever became Hokage. Didn't matter at all. He'd proof them wrong.
He'd show them how great he could be.
He'd do that, as soon as Itachi was more stable and he could bring the older man back with him to Konoha.
"Hey," he said softly. "Is that the only reason you brought me in here?"
"Hmm?"
"'Cause if it is, then can you send me out now? Then I want you to start making him better immediately. I want him fixed. I wanna bring him home."
"Don't make him sound like a machine that can be fixed easily," The Fox huffed, and breathed hot air around Naruto. "Get outta here, if you're in such a hurry."
"Thanks for this, Kurama. I owe you one."
The demon didn't reply, but Naruto thought he saw a wide grin spread across his canine mouth.
Feeling himself quickly detach from Itachi's cold, silent mind, Naruto half-heartedly glanced behind him for one last look.
He saw the scene of the Uchiha massacre, in full, bloody detail.
X
He opened his eyes, blinked several times, and shuddered. Immediately he recognised that there were things on him that shouldn't be there; leaves, dirt, and bird poo. In front of him, Itachi's shoulders were slightly red –from the sun exposure, probably-and his hair was wild and wind-blown. Dried, brown leaves were tangled up in the long, dark strands and a small dot of what appeared to be bird poop was on his left shoulder. Naruto winced in disgust. He had bird poo on him too, but they were on his shirt, not his skin. The air around them was fresh and moist, the sun just having left the horizon. It was morning, early morning. They've been sitting here for more than twelve hours and when Naruto shifted and his butt muscles protested, he knew that sitting there any longer would just be plain stupid.
He got up and immediately his body waged war against the action. His spine was stiff and ached, his muscles numb and his arms and legs uncoordinated. "Aha!" He cried out in pain and surprise. He wasn't even twenty yet! It shouldn't ache like this. "Save me!"
"If you're thinking that I'll carry you back, Naruto, I'll hurt you."
The blond slowly, gingerly arched backwards, wincing as his spine popped. Pop, pop, pop… pop, pop. Then he proceeded to stretch his arms over his head, and attempt to touch his toes. Fail. "I wasn't thinking that at all. I'd settle for you dragging me by my feet back home." He continued stretching his body, though it seemed that Itachi was being more thorough in his stretching. Half way through stretching his hamstring, Naruto glanced towards Itachi, and became distracted.
Itachi was stretching muscles that Naruto would never even think about in the span of five years. He watched the older man stand on one leg, the other he pointed the toe of. Like a dancer, he pointed his pale foot, and Naruto caught the tiny shifting of the muscles protecting his shin. Blue eyes widened. Such was the difference between someone who was in ANBU when he was twelve, and someone who hid ramen coupon in his hair. Itachi continued to stretch, his movements much more subtle than Naruto's, but much more effective.
"That looks…" he trailed off. What could he say? Of course Itachi would know all the secret places of the human body that Naruto wouldn't. He was an overachiever like that; an Uchiha.
"How do you feel?" The Uchiha asked him, relaxing his now fully stretched body. He turned to Naruto with concerned eyes, though his face revealed nothing.
"Me? I'm down one demon in here, I'm perfect…though, actually, I don' feel all that different. What about you?"
Itachi merely shook his head. No, of course not. It wasn't as if an extra conscience would suddenly make one's head heavier. Naruto predicted that Itachi wouldn't feel the difference until he was fully asleep. "Let's go back. I'm sure you're hungry."
Naruto gave Itachi the stink-eye once the older man had put his shirt on and started heading back to the house. Itachi was always doing that. Predicting Naruto as if he was… predictable. Did him being infamous for being the most surprising ninja of all time not mean anything?
The walk home was just as silent as the walk to the clearing. Naruto should start up a conversation, he really should, but he didn't know what to talk about. Begrudgingly he realised his clone would have no problem talking to Itachi, and Naruto would have no problem doing it too if he'd just stop trying to block the clone's feelings out. That was problem in itself. He was plenty sure that he wasn't supposed to fall in love with the older brother of his best friend who had gone missing right after the war, and who, Naruto was sure, was currently planning to destroy Konoha. Just because of this, he'd ignore the clone's feelings for as long as he could.
When their… Itachi's house was within sight, Naruto asked the older man, "Hey, what were you counting yesterday? With the broken glasses?"
"I don't want to tell you."
"Why not?" And he tried very hard not to get his feelings hurt.
"You'll worry, and then you won't leave tomorrow."
"… You don't like me being here?"
"That's not what I said."
It's become very obvious that there was something he should worry about. What could Itachi have been counting that would take him so long?
But more importantly, it's become obvious that Itachi's behaviour towards him and his clone were different. The conclusion shouldn't hurt as much as it did at that moment, but it did, severely. The pain weighed heavy over his heart, cold and bitter. Naruto had never had this problem before.
Naruto raced forward and grabbed Itachi's shoulder, spinning him around with it. They were only a few steps away from their front door. "If I was a clone, the clone, would you talk to me?"
"Naruto," Itachi said, the name climbing out of his mouth and sounding as close as it ever would to a snap. The older man' lips tightened, whitened. His temper was making itself known and Naruto couldn't really blame him. Naruto was, without a doubt, acting childish. "Why are you behaving this way?"
"Look, I'm sorry, okay? But everything the clone did," he pointed to his temple, "it's in here. All of it. I know you two were close, really, really close, but there's none of that now. You don't talk to me like you did to the clone. You even act differently. It's like we're… strangers all over again."
"You and the clone… you're not different." Itachi stepped closer to him, looking into blue eyes intently. Naruto hated that look; hated that Itachi was examining him as if he was the one mentally unstable. "You should know that."
"Why aren't you opening up to me?"
A pause of silence, a long soul-piercing stare, and then Itachi brushed Naruto's hand off his shoulder and walked into the house, apparently having decided that Naruto was acting too childish to be dealt with.
"It's not really me that's changed. After you dispelled the clone you acted differently. I thought you needed time."
"Well… well…" Of course Itachi was right. Of the two of them, it was Naruto that was acting differently. He was being stupid. Kurama, and even Kakashi and Yamato have all told him that a clone is not another person. Shouldn't treat it like one. He opened his mouth to try and talk again, to say something on this awkward topic of theirs, but nothing came out. He didn't know what to say. He was being irrational, jealous of his own clone and Itachi probably thought he was the biggest idiot of all time. Naruto winced, looked apologetically at Itachi, and realised they were on opposite sides of the door. The distance was too great; it shouldn't be this way. Quickly he scrambled to pull his shoes off, step through the door and stopped in front of Itachi, mouth still working to form words, hands hanging awkwardly at his sides.
Naruto couldn't believe how stupid he had been, to attack Itachi like that… and about such a childish thing too. Now, he wished he could take it all back, wished that the clone's feelings weren't so powerful, so that he would have kept his mouth shut and just dealt with it without confrontation. But that wasn't his style. He needed confrontations. He just didn't want it to be this time. He wanted to change the subject very badly, but couldn't say anything. He'd started it. He didn't know how to finish it.
But Itachi… Itachi was so forgiving, because he was looking at Naruto expectantly. His dark eyes twinkled, just a little bit easing. He was giving Naruto the chance to change the subject, get away from this, and Naruto loved him so much for it. He ignored the warmth in his chest at the fact that he could understand Itachi without a word being exchanged.
"We should shower," Naruto said cheekily. Then his blue eyes widened, and he quickly added, "Not… together, I mean. We shouldn't shower together."
Itachi shot him a quick, indulgent gaze, and quickly and swiftly went into the bathroom, grabbing a towel along the way. His long hair swayed with his movement. He was still so regal, even with leaves and dirt in his hair and all over his body. Not for the first time Naruto wished he had more grace in him, just so he wouldn't feel like dirt at times like this. Itachi disappeared from view, and a heavy, relieved breath escaped Naruto's lips. Naruto had no doubt the older man was just as eager to forget this almost-argument as he was.
He didn't know how long he stood there, silent, until a loud, relieved laugh bubbled up his throat. That Itachi was willing to let it go made him giddy with relief, almost. 'That wasn't the right time,' he thought. The type of conversation that they almost had, the one involving a lot of emotions, could only occur when he was certain of his own feelings. Itachi wasn't confused about his feelings. Naruto was. And until he could sort them out and know for sure what he wanted, that conversation would have to wait.
One thing he was sure of was that Itachi was waiting for him. Naruto was confused, in denial, frustrated, but that was okay because Itachi was giving him time to sort it all out.
While Itachi cleaned himself up –and Naruto half-heartedly kept an ear out for anything unusual- he wandered into the kitchen section of the little hut. The food was scarce, but not so that Itachi would starve. He didn't eat much in the first place. Before he died he would have had to deal with his illness, the one that didn't let him keep food down and instead cough up blood. Then after he died and came back he was an un-dead; a zombie wouldn't need food. Then, as Kurama's Yang chakra was pumped into him and he was brought fully back to life in every way but the mind, well… he just didn't eat like Naruto ate.
"Don't you get hungry?" Naruto the clone asked one evening. "I know we're a long way from you being all alive, but you should start to feel hunger right about now."
Itachi didn't look at him. His dark eyes were trained straight ahead, his body tensed as if he was still in enemy territory. "Maybe you're wrong. It could be that this isn't working."
"Aww, come on. Let's not do this tonight. You really think you can change my mind now? Itachi, you're staying and that's final." Itachi's lips moved, and Naruto quickly shouted. "Final!"
An annoyed look quickly passed over Itachi's eyes –and that's more liveliness than Naruto's seen in him in a while- and Naruto laughed. He laughed boisterously because that look was such an Uchiha look. He would proudly say to anyone that would listen that his purpose in life was to put that look in Uchihas' faces. And since there was only two left, well, he could say that his purpose was accomplished.
"Fool," Itachi said softly, and Naruto should have known that Itachi was too polite to call anyone an idiot. Unlike his brother, who had no qualm about hurting other people's feelings. Itachi finally glared at him. Naruto determinedly stopped his lips from turning up and becoming a big grin. His determination, this time, wasn't enough and his lips ended up quivering idiotically. The reason for his amusement was glaringly obvious. When Sasuke glared, it was so fierce looking that a shadow would cross his face and his body appeared to tense up, ready to pounce. When Itachi glared, Naruto thought it rather looked like a pout. It wasn't, obviously, but it did look it when Naruto compared it to his younger brother. He found it hard to believe that this was the glare that many all across the ninja world cowered from, but at the same time, he had hope that this was the glare Itachi only reserved for those that weren't his enemies, those that he called fools with a fonder meaning behind.
Naruto smiled at Itachi, hoping with all his heart that just a smile could make Itachi better. Iruka's smile used to make his day complete; it still did.
"You're going to make me live a life without a purpose."
Naruto scoffed. "You can make happiness your life's purpose. Happiness is great. Food is happiness. I love it."
Another one of Itachi's none-lethal glare -a semi pout in Naruto's mind- and Naruto the Clone grinned and reached out to brush his hand against Itachi's hair. It would be the first of many touches that followed.
Naruto the Clone almost cried in relief when, the next morning, Itachi finished a whole bowl of soup.
Naruto was humming happily as he slurped up his ramen, at the same time reliving the days between the clone and Itachi. It occurred to him, right at that moment, that the clone had had a better year and a half than Naruto did.
Naruto had spent his year and a half helping his comrades clean up after the war and running around doing dangerous but pointless missions assigned to him by the two elders. He'd once exploded on them, yelling and kicking and in the end; they won, because they held his dream in the palm of their tiny, wrinkly hands. Naruto knew they weren't horrible people, they cared about the village and they were damn smart, too smart. Within a few months they had figured he was up so something. They'd tried to send ANBU after him a couple of times when he came out to see Itachi, but he was pleased to say that he had been too fast for them. A few times he let himself be caught up, and then showed them Tsunade's scroll so they knew he had the Hokage's permission to be out of the village, even if the Hokage herself had no idea what he was doing. That left the elders to come up with their own conclusion, one that was the most logical, but not quite true. They thought he was sneaking off to try and find Sasuke, who was an S-Class criminal who had declared war on Konoha, right after the previous war had ended.
And that was Naruto the Real's year and a half. Cleaning up, sneaking out, playing innocent and being kept a wary eye on, all the while trying to be the next Hokage because if Konoha was going to war against Sasuke, then they really, really needed him.
Not for the first time he wished things weren't so complicated. He'd be happy just to spend all day at home with Itachi, eating, then sleeping, and training and then eating, then napping.
Things as they were now weren't horrible, though. In fact, with Kurama inside Itachi fixing things up, Naruto could just sleep with a smile on his face.
Soft footsteps sounded from behind him. They were soft because the owner wanted to be heard, so as to not startle Naruto. Itachi was naturally silent anyway.
Immediately there was tension. It was the good kind though. Naruto felt Itachi's strong presence behind him, as well as his stomach heating and dropping low. He smiled. His clone and Itachi had played this game several times before. Be silent, be teasing; who will speak first? No surprise at all; Itachi had never lost to him.
There was no doubt that Naruto would once again be the first one to speak and lose, but all the fun was in the time it would take for him to do so.
Naruto continued eating, his slurps quieter now, as he felt the older man's presence loom closer. Itachi's freshly showered scent hit only moments afterwards. Clean and fresh and earthly. The presence of the man and his lovely scent washed over the blonde, and he shuddered. He felt for his poor clone, who had to try and stay sane with all this intensity around. Maybe this was the very reason why the clone cracked and fell so intensely in love. Naruto's heard that people do weird things under pressure.
But no, no. People don't fall in love for reasons like this.
Slurp!
The noddle strands pooled on his tongue, and he contently swallowed them, fully aware that Itachi was now just walking past him. What he didn't expect was the feel of soft cloth brushing the back of his neck. The noodles, on their merry little way down his throat, side tracked and Naruto's whole body tensed, breath no longer going in and out of his lungs.
He spluttered and coughed, and heaved until tears gathered at his eyes. And to think, he could have died from just a brush-up.
Itachi's hard but slender hand landed on his back. It was as if the man had hit life back into Naruto, what with how suddenly breath climbed back into his lungs. Still, grateful as he was, it wasn't enough to make him forget that it was because of Itachi that he nearly lost his life to begin with. He brushed Itachi's hand away and glared. "Dude," he whined. Then he stopped. It felt strange to call Itachi 'dude.' Very strange. No matter what, Itachi just wasn't a 'dude'. Naruto quickly decided to never call him that again. "You could've killed me."
At this Itachi gave him an unimpressed raised eyebrow –and Naruto totally ignored how perfect it was- because this was not the time to be distracted.
"I mean it," Naruto continued to whine. "You could of…"
Itachi's thin lips twitched, and then he huffed quietly and closed his eyes in resignation. "Go clean up, Naruto. I can't stand the smell of you any longer."
Instead of being offended –as he would be if anybody else were to say that- Naruto chuckled and finished off his ramen, near death experience forgotten. "Please," he mumbled around his food. "Don't talk as if you still don't smell like bird crap. It's gonna take more than one shower to get rid of the stench." He offered Itachi his most impressive grin, while the older man glared furiously down at him. It was a lie; Itachi smelled wonderful. Naruto just loved riling Itachi up until he forgot everything but Naruto, which was an easy thing to do these days, what with Itachi's fragile state of mind.
Putting his chopsticks down, Naruto got up and headed for the shower, giving Itachi's waist a squeeze on the way. It was such a natural, habitual move –by his clone- that it didn't register in his head until he had his pants halfway down his legs. He sucked a breath in through clenched teeth, and carefully, calmly took the rest of his clothes off. He was going to take a shower. He was going to clean up and smell better. Shock and embarrassment would just have to wait.
Desperate to hold off any thoughts about what he'd done and how he'd given in to his clone's yearning towards Itachi, Naruto directed his thoughts somewhere else, anywhere.
His thoughts steamrolled over everything, and dived head first into the scene he saw before coming out of Itachi's head. It was a bitch, but at this point he had no choice but to think 'He's a murderer,' without instinctively readying his body for combat. The circumstances didn't really matter the circumstances; Itachi was a murderer and it should worry him that his clone… that he's fallen so deeply and completely in love with him. It should worry him, and it did actually, but it wasn't going to change anything. Naruto was in love and he didn't see it changing anytime soon. He couldn't see it changing at all. Naruto was going to die loving Itachi.
The confession drew out a long suffering, throaty groan from Naruto.
So much for not thinking about that.
He hissed and slammed his palm against the wall. The sudden act was not due to a fit of anger. Naruto wasn't angry. He just felt too much. Everything to do with Itachi… and even Sasuke, always made him dizzy and unable to think. These two brothers were going to be the death of him.
He laughed. Laughed at the fact that, even though he was flooded with emotions every minute he was with Itachi, his life was pretty good. Really, the only person missing was Sasuke, but they were working on that. Bastard just needed a good punch to the head and a kick between the balls… and probably some stern talking to from Itachi. Sasuke was high maintenance that way. But the point was that they were working on it. Things weren't completely hopeless, and for that he could be happy.
Shaking his head, Naruto quickly got into the shower and proceeded to clean himself up. He scrubbed at the dirt that gathered on his body from the sealing, and then scrubbed away all his thoughts. There's been a lot more thinking done lately then he'd like for there to be. Things were simpler when he was just a kid and wanted nothing more than to learn new jutsu and kick ass. Train all day long, get stronger. That was the goal. Once the goal was done, get working towards the dream.
Well his goal was done.
And his dream… his dream was in the wrinkled hands of old people who thought he was too young for the job.
But no matter. Naruto wasn't giving up. Itachi had faith in him. In Itachi's mind Naruto was already Hokage; stronger and wiser, a hero. No way could Naruto give up and not live up to that.
X
After Naruto finished showering, they spent about two hours just lazing around the house. More accurately, Naruto divided his time fairly between raiding Itachi's by-now-half-depleted kitchen, and talking and playing with the man himself. When it was talking time, Naruto talked and Itachi either listened… or stared at the tips of his fingers, wriggling them every now and then as if he saw something disgusting attached to them. Those times were bitter reminders that Itachi was not yet complete. When it was playing time, Naruto battled his most inner desire to go over to Itachi and wrap his arms around him, and bury his face into long soft hair and hide from the world. Physically, during playing time, Naruto laid on his back with his eyes closed and hummed tunes under his breath. During playing time, Itachi traced cracks on the wall, on the ceiling… the floor. There were never enough cracks. He'd always find more, start trailing them with his eyes, and lose himself. So many cracks… and he silently traced them all…
And when he came back, he was furious.
"I don't understand why you're so angry with yourself," Naruto said. "It's not like you can help it. Nobody can help it."
"Nobody's had to deal with a problem like this," Itachi answered back swiftly, coldly.
"Yeah, whatever. What I'm trying to say is that it'll get better. Kurama's working on it."
"That doesn't make me feel better."
"Well it should. Old fox sticks by his word." Naruto then went back to humming his tune, once it became obvious that Itachi no longer wished to talk.
Then… after fifteen long minutes… "What did you think I was counting?"
"Huh?"
"Before. What did you think I was counting with the broken glass?"
"Oh," Naruto frowned slightly. He sat up and scratched his head. "Umm, I don't think you want to know, but it's a fairly obvious guess."
"Bodies," Itachi said quietly, his eyes helplessly trailing down to his fingertips. For a second Naruto thought that it looked like he was counting again, but then he shied away from that thought. Itachi couldn't be counting. What could he count that would take him days?
"Yeah," Naruto answered back reluctantly. "Why did you bring this up? I thought you didn't want me to worry."
"I didn't, but I want you to now."
"What?" Naruto asked eagerly, his eyes widening, brightening at the short sentence. His heart pounded away in his chest. "What?" He asked again.
"What… what?"
"What did you say?"
"… I don't understand."
It was a similar sensation as that time he fell off of one of Sai's drawing birds. Fell right out of the sky and free fell for a long time. That was what he was feeling now, but with less excitement and more disappointment.
He shuffled closer to the older man, and slowly brought his hand up and gripped Itachi's chin. He gently pulled it up, pulling the man's gaze away from his own fingers, wanting to see his eyes, ducking his own head down to make the process go faster. When their eyes met, Naruto knew that Itachi hadn't realized a word that's left his own mouth. There was a vacancy there that only happened when his mental barriers were crumbling –or being tampered with, in this case now with Kurama in there. He sat there, gripping Itachi's handsome but delicate chin, and tried very hard not to let the bitter disappointment kill him.
After all, this wasn't the first time their conversation had gone vague halfway through.
The blond sighed softly, and offered Itachi a slightly forced smile. "I thought you didn't want me to worry," he repeated. Then he waited for the words to sink in. The reward in return eased his heart a little. Recognition came back in to Itachi's two wide orbs.
"I didn't, but you would have brought this subject up sooner or later, again. I had you worried the moment you saw me counting."
"Right. So, what was it? B-bodies?"
"… I don't remember."
Naruto physically deflated. "Seriously? Are we doing this again?"
"I don't remember." Itachi fixed him with an impaling stare. "I never got past four before my counting shifted to something else."
"You lost me…"
Itachi did a slow blink, where he closed his eyes for a long breath, before opening them again. For Naruto, this was Itachi's version of an eye-roll. "I forget what I'm counting, before I get up to four." Then he waited for Naruto.
"But you… you were counting for ages!"
"I know. That's why I'm telling you now. Perhaps it is a bigger problem than I first thought. I recount over and over again." And the thing that made Naruto uncomfortable was that, Itachi sounded so lost, all quiet and timid, but his face gave away nothing except that he was bored. How could he look so miserably bored when he was suffering like that?
And what could Naruto do but gulp helplessly?
"Kurama is fixing that," he said. "He's old and really smart. He'll know what to do. Everything will get better." And he reached out and touched Itachi's elbow. He stared intently into the older man's eyes, conveying with all his might that Itachi really will get better. Naruto didn't keep him alive just so he could suffer all these problems. "Believe in me, Itachi." That was all he needed.
Itachi searched his eyes, and Naruto let him. It was unbearably intense. Naruto's breathing was laboured, and the hand that was touching Itachi's skin felt hot and tingly. The very tips of his fingers were aware of every inch of skin contact. There was tightness in his stomach that made him uncomfortable in all the right ways, a feeling that he was becoming very used to, all because his clone had experienced it every day when it was still out.
Itachi released a stuttered breath that Naruto only heard because they were sitting so close, they were sharing breathing space. He should move back, get some space in between them, but Itachi wasn't doing it. He wasn't showing any sign that it was bothering him, so why should he? Sitting this close, Naruto didn't know where to look. Itachi's face was so very close that Naruto had no choice but to look at some part of him. His eyes, no, they were looking at him, Naruto couldn't yet meet those eyes. His nose then… no, that was just awkward. His… His lips then? His eyebrows? Everything about him was so elegant, like one of Sai's drawings. Not a dot or a hair out of place. It was distracting, how perfect Itachi was… which was ridiculous because Naruto knew nobody was perfect… but, Itachi had to be the closest to perfection.
He was staring at Itachi's lips, Naruto realised. He also knew he was cross-eyed because of it too.
They were going to kiss… he hoped they were going to kiss… no! He didn't hope! That was the clone's territory. Naruto wasn't in love with Itachi. Naruto hadn't spent that much time with him; only the clone did. And so… not him. Naruto'll sort it all out soon… he'll…
He'll sort it out.
X
As it turned out, they didn't kiss.
They'd been very close, breathing the same air, lips a hair's width away. But Naruto had still been confused, and Itachi had seen it clearly. Itachi had seen it, and he'd backed off.
He left Naruto aching for him even more, because who else in the whole entire world could read Naruto like an open book like that? Who else was so mixed up in him that Naruto couldn't think one thought without associating things with Itachi?
Which was kinda bad. Naruto was trying not to think about Itachi unless it was strictly business. He figured that if he kept his feelings and thoughts in a straight line, the clone's feelings would sort themselves out. Disappear, or bury themselves so deep in his mind that it'd be another forty years before he could remember he ever had less than pure thoughts about the older Uchiha.
The point was that they didn't kiss. They left it hanging and silently declared to never speak of it again. Let the only reminders be the sensation of sharing breaths and the smell of their shampoo –which happened to be the same.
They'd lazed around some more, with Naruto taking an actual nap this time around, while Itachi did whatever he did when he was too unstable to sleep –Naruto suspected he cleaned the house. The place was always spotless even when it was filthy on the outside.
Then, in the afternoon, Kenji came over and dragged Naruto off to see his brand new baby.
Naruto in turn dragged Itachi along, only because he thought he saw a flash of alarm in the other man's eyes, as if without Naruto he would be lost. It was possible it could have just been the light, but Naruto didn't care. He had only three days, one and a half at that point, and he was going to spend as much time with Itachi as possible.
It turned out to be a good idea too, because the baby calmed Itachi in a way that only babies could. There was no outward sign that made it obvious that the baby eased Itachi's pain, the one that had been clogging his head since he was twelve. But that's what the baby –Reina- did, waving her about tiny little fists even as her eyes remained closed, asleep. Inara offered Reina for Naruto to hold, but Naruto awkwardly laughed as he politely declined. In all of his years, he'd never held a baby in his arms. He didn't really want to change that at that moment. Reina was such a tiny, delicate little thing, and Naruto knew he wasn't the most graceful guy around. Should he hold the baby and drop it, he knew he'd be scarred for life. And so, he opted to just coo at Reina.
Itachi stayed by Naruto's side the whole time, gentle eyes trained on baby Reina, but hands never going anywhere near her. Naruto suspected a lot of things when it came to Itachi and how he interacted with the rest of the world. Too many things, truth be told, but none of that mattered because Itachi was quite insane. Strangely enough Naruto saw it clearer at that moment than he ever did. When Itachi counted broken pieces of glass, and when he wiggled his fingers as if starving leeches were attached to them… and even when he laid down on his futon and said he was watching the clouds on the ceiling, Naruto always indistinctly acknowledged that Itachi was mad. He did it half-heartedly. 'Oh, nice weather we're having today. What did you have for lunch? Itachi's a little bit crazy, but I'm working on that. My room needs a good cleaning.'
But now, with Itachi staring at Reina, but not really seeing her, Naruto could see it for what it was. Insanity; the result of forcibly binding a soul into a rotting body, and then making that body brand new and whole once more. The only thing with Itachi was that he did too wonderful a job at appearing normal… most of the time. Uchihas and their stoic masks.
Kenji continued to busily divide his loving attention between his baby girl and his son –who clearly wanted his father to stop pestering him so he can focus on his book- as Naruto watched on. Itachi's gaze was fixed on Reina and Reina only, but it was clear to Naruto –who'd sort of been living with him for a year and a half- that he was seeing a variety of things. There were a few occasions that Itachi's eyes shifted a little, and Naruto was sure he saw Reina for who she was, but then the shift was gone, and Itachi was back to staring at whoever it was that had been a baby at that point in Itachi's life.
Naruto knew it was Sasuke.
Who else in this world had Itachi's complete and utter devotion? Love, loyalty, pride?
Sasuke.
It had always been Sasuke, and it would always be Sasuke.
Naruto's heart broke as much as it soared.
"Hey Naruto," Inara said, gently massaging her knees. She'd always had weak knees, according to Kenji, and the last nine months hadn't been kind to her. "When are you going to fix up your house? It's starting to fall apart you know? The other day I saw something fall. Not sure what, though, but it looked dangerous."
"Nope!" Naruto chirped. "No fixing up required. In a couple 'a days I'm coming back and Itachi's gonna leave with me."
Inara and Kenji mad surprised but happy noises, but Itachi remained silent. Obviously he was caught off guard, but Naruto wasn't sure why. He'd explained this plan to Itachi a hundred times. Itachi was going to become healthy in both mind and body, and then he was coming back to Konoha where he can live a violent-free life and together they'd bring Sasuke back. And if bringing Sasuke back home required violence, then Naruto was willing to be the one to do it. Itachi needn't lift a finger; just shoot some harsh but loving words at his baby brother.
"Really? And when were you going to tell us, Itachi?"
When Itachi spoke, it was with a tone that was still surprised, but at the same time resigned and fond. "It must have escaped my mind."
Kenji, who was used to Itachi's soft spoken ways, let him off the hook, but Inara was more perceptive. She looked back and forth between Itachi and Naruto, did some calculation in her head, and went back to kneading her knees. There were some things that were fairly obvious to her about these two. Naruto was clearly a mess; one moment staring at Itachi adoringly, then the next clenching his teeth and forcing his head to turn the other way. It didn't matter what he did really. Inara had seen it once and that had been enough. He was in love, and try to deny it as he might, there was no way of changing that. Naruto's constant attempt at denial reminded her more often than not that he was still a boy. Powerful, burdened and brave, but at things like love, just a boy.
"Naruto likes to surprise me," Itachi whispered. Judging by the lack of reactions from everyone else, Inara guessed she was the only one who heard. And by the vacant look on the breathtaking man's alluring face, Itachi might not have even realised he'd spoken at all.
"Hmm," Inara hummed.
Of the two boys, Itachi was the one who confused her the most. She called him a boy, just like Naruto, because he looked like a boy. That, she thought, probably had more to do with his vulnerability than his appearance. Itachi was vulnerable in a way that only she seemed to have picked up on. Itachi was like a new-born, if she had to put a tag on it. All brand new and confused and just… not yet quite right. She wondered if Naruto realised this; if this was the reason why he hovered, a hand always ready to brush Itachi's hair or arm. But probably not. That boy was too caught up in his battle against his emotion. It was a battle that he'd only win through death, she thought to herself, just like how she lost her battle years ago when she'd committed herself to another man, even as her very being longed for this goofy, ridiculous man named Kenji.
"We're gonna miss you, but," Kenji said. "Aren't we sweetheart?" He cooed at his daughter, and when he didn't get a response, he turned to his son. "Aren't we, Ichi?"
Ichi briefly looked up from his book, gave his father a blank stare and sent a scrunchy-nosed look his sister's way. Then he quickly gave Itachi a look that simply said 'I'm gonna miss you, but bear with me I'm trying to get my daddy's attention.' Itachi nodded.
"We'll visit once in a while, won't we Itachi?" Naruto said.
Inara smiled to herself. Give them a couple of years and she knew they'd be inseparable, bound together in all the right way by love and passion and everything that led them to this point.
Inara frowned suddenly. This point being Naruto denying his feelings for Itachi, but she swore that a few months ago he was doing anything but. Before her belly got too large and her knees became worse, she used to walk around the few neighbouring huts by herself. And almost every time she did, she always veered towards Itachi and Naruto's house. It hadn't been with intention. It was just that their house always exuded mystery, and she was a curious pregnant woman. And every time, she saw them. She watched them grow closer and closer. They kept to themselves when they first arrived, but she could tell they were almost strangers back then. Then they grew closer, feelings developed. So why was Naruto suddenly doing everything he could to deny his feelings? It was fairly obvious that he felt for Itachi.
Now, if Itachi was the one doing the denying, that would be more understandable. Of the two of them, he looked to be the type to deny things like feelings, where Naruto looked to be the type to embrace them. But… well, shinobi were strange people, and she never really liked to analyse them too much.
"We should… be getting back. Tomorrow is Naruto's last day off," Itachi said. Without waiting for any reply he got up and glided out of their house.
Kenji snickered at the retreating back and at Naruto quickly scrambling up to follow. Inara knew what was going on in her husband's mind. He probably thought they were retreating to their house to spend as much time alone as possible as young lovers, what with Naruto having to leave again tomorrow. She wished her husband was right in that way, then everybody could be happy.
X
Sleeping here, with Itachi, was quit painful. The thing was, Naruto wasn't allowed to masturbate… and he really, really wanted to. Needed to. It wasn't that he wasn't allowed to, really… his conscience just wouldn't let him do it. They were sleeping in the same room, less than two metres apart. It didn't help that Naruto knew Itachi was sleeping; all soft and pliant and unaware, almost innocent. The thoughts that filtered through to Naruto's mind were anything but. He could just do it, just stick his hand down there and get off. But Itachi was right there! It wouldn't feel okay come morning.
He grunted and rolled onto his side; facing away from Itachi's still form.
And then rolled back onto his back because sleeping on his side gave him an image of what he and Itachi could be doing, seeping on their side, facing the same way. Stupid clone.
Naruto groaned and rolled onto his stomach, burying his face into his pillow. He stayed that way a while, just breathing out.
He felt hopeless, defeated.
There, lying next to Itachi in their tiny hut, he doubted there was any hope of him successfully pushing the clone's feelings away. Part of him hated it, hated that he was suddenly made to love Itachi in that way. But… he didn't really want to put a stop to it. He liked that his heart did stupid little flips when he watched Itachi. Liked a lot of things that he felt when he just thought of the older man. He wanted to have these feelings behind everything he did, for the rest of his life.
"You're going to die," Itachi's voice quietly sounded next to his head. "Come up and breathe."
"Ugn!" Naruto grunted. It meant to sound like a 'no.'
Itachi shifted closer, and Naruto only knew this because every cell in his body was tuned on to Itachi, always aware, always ready to respond.
"It's that unbearable? I know there are some strong genjutsu users in Konoha that can help you."
Finally Naruto brought his head up, and gave his companion a look uncharacteristically dark, uncharacteristically sour.
"I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that."
"Well then what would you have me do? This is partially my fault too."
"How is any of this your fault? You don't look like the type to Mangekyou Sharingan me into loving you." Whoop! There went his feelings, totally out there in the open. And it didn't shock him, just made him feel that much lighter. Very much lighter, actually. His heart was hammering away like crazy, but he was good. The elephant was out there in the room and the only thing to do was respond.
Itachi didn't answer for a very long time. He just sat there beside Naruto's head, looking longingly at the wall. Naruto almost thought he hadn't heard, but that wasn't the case. Itachi was a shinobi by nature. No matter how deep he was in his own head, he had to be aware of his surroundings. Slowly, Naruto felt his poor little heart wilt.
"Say something," he said quietly.
"I don't know what you want me to say. You… don't want these emotions, but you don't want them to go away. You're making a mess for yourself."
Naruto swung himself up into a sitting position, which brought them that much closer to each other. Once again they were sharing breathing space.
"No, about me… loving you. Say something about that. And I'll have you know that I want these feelings very much!"
Itachi directed him a dry look. "You, loving me? Not the clone?"
"Okay I get it," Naruto drawled. "It's me, I'm sure. The clone, that was me too. If I was in its position I still would have loved you. So…" He shifted even closer, excited with the possibilities, but nervous because he'd never done this before. He could be doing the wrong thing and he wouldn't know. "How do you feel? About me?"
Itachi moved forward, as if to kiss him, and Naruto wasn't expecting that. His blue eyes widened and for some stupid reason he moved back. Stupid reason that he didn't even remember! Itachi's warm breath caressed his lips, and Naruto gulped some courage back into himself and moved forward…
… but apparently the moment's gone. "I don't want you to have to keep denying your feelings, it's not good for you," Naruto ignored the irony of that statement; Itachi, giving him advice about mental health? "But I don't want you to regret this later. What do you want Naruto?"
And it's so far past talking time, Naruto thought. If they were going to talk things out, they'd never get things done. So he buried his hand in Itachi's silky-soft hair and pulled him in for a kiss. It wasn't perfect, because it was too dark and Naruto kissed Itachi's chin at first, but it was intense. It was dark and quiet, all their senses focused onto this little contact between their lips. The tip of Itachi's cool nose rubbed along his cheek, and Naruto parted his lips and brushed Itachi's with his tongue; wet and cool and asking for entrance. And they went on like that, just kissing, testing new territory and doing the tongue-dance, and sending tingling sensations down each other's mouths. It was electrifying and Naruto felt stupid for having refused his feelings this contact for so long. Stupid.
Eventually breathing became a problem and they separated with a wet, slick sound that was ridiculously loud in their quiet hut.
"You drive me crazy," Naruto said shakily. "Forget about me. Tell me what you want." He licked his lips, tasted Itachi, and moved in for another kiss. "It's all about reciprocation, I think. I know what I want; I've just been stupid about it. Question is… do you want me too? Please tell me you're not just doing this because you somehow think you owe it to me. You don't owe me anything. If we're doing this, it's gonna be because you want me as much as I want you. Please…"
"Stop talking." Itachi moved away from him, but his hand came up to rest on Naruto's whiskered cheek, so he wasn't too alarmed. "I need… air. I can't concentrate Naruto." And then the hand was gone, and so was Itachi, leaving Naruto to feel the cool air rushing in from outside.
And how was he supposed to take that? Naruto, your kiss has rendered me unable to think straight, or, you're coming on too strong, let me be?
"Don't brood Naruto, it's unbecoming of you."
"Wha… Umm, can you think now?"
A candle was lit, and Naruto saw Itachi properly for the first time since they went to bed. His hair was tangled and sticking out to one side, courtesy of yours truly, and his lips were red and swollen. Naruto had a feeling he didn't look that much different. It was a good look on Itachi, Naruto decided. If he was allowed to, he would very much like to keep Itachi's lips in that state and even bring a blush to his pale cheeks.
"Yes." Itachi glided closer to Naruto's futon.
"That was fast. You weren't even gone for half a minute." Naruto reached out and wrapped a hand gently around one slender ankle, rubbing his thumb back and forth across the delicate skin over the bones. He had no memory of ever doing this, previously, but the moment he did it, he remembered. His clone had done this before, during one afternoon when he had been laying on the grass and Itachi had come to see if he'd fallen asleep.
"Here it is Naruto. The truth." Itachi squatted down and Naruto took his hand away so it could move on to smooth out Itachi's hair. "I do love you, but there are ANBU outside."
"Holy crap!" Naruto cried. "You didn't even give me time to enjoy your heartfelt confession!"
"Naruto," Itachi warned. "Get up."
"But… this is a love confession. I think they can wait."
"They have been waiting."
The blond gasped. "You mean they were perving on us? What the hell?"
"Naruto." It almost sounded like a growl, almost.
Naruto laughed softly and touched Itachi's arm. "Don't worry, I'll take care of everything. I promise." Itachi didn't look convinced, but Naruto only needed him to know. "Come on, it's about time we went home anyway." He stood up and helped Itachi up, even though the older man didn't need it. Then he leaned down and whispered into Itachi's ear. "Are you well enough?"
Itachi rigidly suppressed his trembling, though that didn't stop the brush of warmth that ran down his body. "It doesn't matter, but I think Kurama has repaired me enough."
"You needed air… before, when we were…"
"Yes. You overwhelmed me."
Naruto grinned. "You know, you're not really helping my ego. It's been growing a lot around you."
Itachi narrowed his eyes, and Naruto knew that if the man still had his Sharingan, Naruto was dead meat. "We have ANBU at our doorstep. Go take care of it."
"Yes, Mum."
Quickly Naruto leaned in and kissed Itachi on the mouth, quick but nevertheless passionate.
He could really get use to that.