Okay, well, I know this is a late update and I'm sorry, like always. I only hope that this chapter makes up for it and that you can live with the hope that maybe the next one will come earlier.
I don't own Naruto or Pein or anyone, really...
Pein
Naruto sits on Dei's bed staring blankly at the wall. Neji's been called already; he's just waiting for the man to arrive and take him away. He isn't sure what he'll tell his parents or his friend tomorrow; it's a little hard to hide the bruises on his neck. He isn't even sure if he'll go home and he knows that he definitely won't be going to school. He wonders if Neji will let him stay over for a while.
Dei brings him a cup of coffee. "Are you, um, okay?" It's an extremely stupid question because it is glaringly obvious that he is not okay but it brings a small smile to his face. Dei's cheeks flush red. "I'm so sorry! That's such a-"
"Do we have bad memories?" The question completely kills any of the light air that was in the room.
Dei sets the coffee down on the bedside table and sits next to him. "I don't want to talk about our memories."
"They're all the connection we have," he says solemnly, looking down at his hands.
"I don't want them to be!" Dei grabs his shoulders. "Don't you see? Those memories don't have to be our only connection! I don't want my only connection with my friends to be memories from so long ago!" One of his hands moves to grab hold of Naruto's. "I don't want to be looked down upon anymore. I'm trying to make things right."
Naruto wants so badly to believe him but, "What about Sasori? He's from your past life."
Dei smiles sadly. "Danna and I share more than just those memories. I wish you'd see that. We share a love of art. We share a love of spending time together even though we're not the same people we were. Danna may have been in my past life but I would love him even if I'd never known him." Dei looks so convinced that Naruto can't bring himself to question it.
"How are you holding up?" His attention is diverted to the redhead leaning against the doorframe, arms folded across his chest. Those grey eyes stare into him.
"I'm fine," Naruto lies. He's not fine. He's not fine at all. Not physically, mentally, or emotionally.
"When he – Neji, right? – gets here, we're going to have a long talk." The redhead pushes himself off the doorframe and steps into the room. "You're doubting this." It's not a question; it's a statement. A true statement. He is doubting this. The memories, the people, he wonders if they're all worth this. Sasori frowns. "We need to see just how far you're willing to go in this. But we'll discuss that when Neji arrives." A knock on the door causes a smirk to play on his lips. "And there he is now." He goes to answer the door.
Naruto turns to the blonde to get one last question in before everything goes to hell. "Dei, do you think it's worth it?"
The blonde looks at him and casts a quick glance down the hallway to make sure that Sasori is really gone. "It's nice sometimes, Naruto, but don't base the people you meet off of your memories of them. A lot of us are trying to actually be better people than we were then." He pauses, casts another glance down the hallway. "Don't make this your life. Don't spend every waking moment searching for the people you think you've lost. The past is the past and this is our time to move on from it all. Please, please remember that."
It's at that moment that Sasori and Neji appear in the doorway. "Naruto." The brunette crosses the room in three strides and takes Naruto's face in his hands. He tilts the boy's head from side to side, admiring the bruises. "What are you going to tell your parents?"
Naruto places his hand son top of the man's. "I don't know yet. I was hoping that I could crash at your place for a while. I know that I can't go to school like this."
"You can stay with us," Dei offers up meekly.
"No." Neji's voice is ice cold. He stands, looking at Dei with disgust. "Even if I didn't remember you, I'd still say no. You're just college kids."
"We can take care of him," Die argues.
"Can you?" Neji spits out venomously. "You call this taking care of him?" He forces Naruto's head to the side to show off the bruises. Die looks away. "I don't think so." He grabs Naruto's arm. "We're leaving."
"There's something we need to discuss," Sasori interjects, stepping in front of the doorway. His posture dares Neji to try to get through.
"We don't need to discuss anything. Get out of the way."
"No. You want him to remember? Shit's gonna happen."
"No. This could have been prevented. You're just not adept at dealing with situations without your puppets to protect you."
"Don't you dare!" Sasori hisses, stepping forward and grabbing Neji's shirt. "I'm perfectly capable of handling myself, Hyuuga!"
"Get out of my way."
"You're not in charge of him."
"More so than you are. Move."
"You can tell me to move all you want. I won't." Neji growls in response, hold tightening on Naruto's arm. "He needs to decide for himself whether he wants to go through with this."
"We can decide that later, Sasori. He was almost killed an hour ago, if you don't recall."
"No, he needs to decide it now."
"This may not be a good idea, danna," Die says softly as he stares at the building.
"If he wants to uncover his memories then he has to go through with this."
"Can't we do this later though, un? Like, not when it's dark?" Dei squeezes Naruto's hand though the boy isn't sure who the reassurance is for.
"No." Sasori pulls the door open, the little bell jingling. "After you."
Naruto steps inside the shop, Dei close behind, and stops, unsure. The green-haired woman at the counter pops her blue gum and flips through her book. She looks up at them and smiles, shoving her books under the counter. "How may I help you?" Her voice is surprisingly sweet; Naruto expected it to be haunting, maybe for her to even cackle a little. Her smile grows at his hesitance to answer. "You're probably here for some body jewelry, right? You don't look like the type to be getting a tattoo. So what were you hoping for? Eyebrow? Nose? Lip? I could see you getting your lip pierced."
"I have a tattoo," Naruto says hotly, almost pouting at the insult to his manliness.
"Oh, I see. Daring, aren't you? Well then, what about a nipple piercing? Those are bold, don't you think?"
Naruto's face flames red. "N-no!"
"For the love of – we need to see Nate," Sasori says, pushing past Naruto.
"This must be personal, huh?" the girl says, frowning. "Well, he's in the back. But you'd better hurry; he's got someone coming in soon." As Naruto walks by she winks at him. "When you're done having fun back there you can come back up here and we'll talk about that piercing." He opens his mouth to protest but Sasori grabs the front of his shirt and drags him away.
"Welcome." A man in the center of the room is organizing papers. "How may I help you?" He looks up at them and Naruto is astounded at how many piercings he has. The man's eyes narrow dangerously as he takes in their presence. "What do you want?" His friendly tone has vanished, replaced by one as cold as Neji's had been only a few hours ago. His gaze lingers on Naruto for a long while.
"We need your name." Sasori shoves Naruto forward. "This is his test."
"No. I refuse to be involved with him again. He doesn't want those memories." The man turns away. "Get out of my shop."
"No." Sasori stands firm, eyes bearing into the back of the man's skull.
"Who put you in charge?" the man snarls, whipping back around.
"I did. Just tell him your name."
The man looks like he's about yell when he takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. "Leave us." He waves his hand dismissively. Sasori makes a small noise of protest in the back of his throat but Dei pulls him away. The door clicks shut behind them and the man shakes his head "You don't want to know," he says.
"I don't know what I want," Naruto confesses. "I feel like everything is slipping from my fingers. I'm losing control." He looks up at the man. "I'm…I'm losing parts of myself. That doesn't make any sense but-"
"The irony," the man says, "is that you're trying to find yourself." A sad smile crosses his lips.
"I just…I want to be me!"
"But who is you?" the man asks quickly. "Is you the person from this time? Or is you the person from your last lifetime? It's so hard to tell, isn't it? And then everything ends up melding together until you're neither one or the other and yet, you're both at the same time."
"They want me to be the person I was. They push me to remember and when I don't…they treat me like a failure. Like a child who can't do anything right."
"Perhaps they don't actually want you to remember for your own sake. Perhaps they're simply the ones who can't live with you not knowing. You have to recall that once upon a time you were their friends. They loved you. And because they remember, they still do. So of course it hurts when you can't remember and love them back."
"I don't want them to hurt because of me! But…but…" He runs a hand through his blonde locks. "My friend…unlocking his memories hurt him. It hurt him! It can't be worth it if it only causes pain! Is it? Is it worth it?"
"Only you can decide that."
"That's not very helpful!" he yells, then shrinks back because he shouldn't be yelling.
"Would you rather have someone decide your fate for you? " The man steps towards him.
"No. I want to be in control."
"But you're not. You already admitted that you are, in fact, losing any control you once held. So I suppose it doesn't really matter if someone decides for you." The man shrugs.
"I'd rather decide."
The man is right in front of him now, staring down into his eyes. "Then make your decision." At this moment the door behind them opens and a woman stands there awkwardly. "I apologize," he says to Naruto, "but you'll have to leave."
He's greeted out front by Die, who grabs his face to check that he's okay. He places his hands on top of the older male's, smiling at the genuine display of concern. "I'm fine, Dei."
"You didn't learn his name." Sasori sounds disappointed, looks disappointed, angry even but Naruto isn't sure who he's angry at.
"I didn't ask him," he says honestly.
"Then why were you in there so long?"
"We talked. I can actually do that, you know. Hold conversations? Yeah, there's more to me than just my memories."
"We didn't come here so you could spill your soul to him."
"You know, I get the feeling that he cares more about me than you ever will."
"Naruto, un," Dei cries as he steps between the two of them, "how can you say that?"
He points a finger at the redhead. "All he cares about is unlocking my old memories! I don't believe he's stopped to even think about how this is affecting me! For all he cares I could probably have an emotional breakdown, but as long as I figured out who the hell that guy was it doesn't matter!"
"We came here to see if you could handle it."
"And if I couldn't you'd probably just abandon me! None of you people want anything to do with me unless I remember!"
"That's not true, Naruto!" Dei protests. Naruto wants to take back what he says; Dei would still be his friend. Die would probably follow him to hell and back. But would Die only go to such great lengths because they had such a bad relationship back then?
"Maybe you're right," Sasori hisses out. "Maybe none of us really give a damn about you. Well, now what? You gonna run away? You gonna leave us? You have nowhere to go."
Tears well up in his eyes. "I should leave you! No wonder Gaara won't accept you! You're an asshole!"
Dei rounds on him. "Don't say that about danna!"
"Fine. We'll leave you here. You don't want us; we don't need you." Sasori turns. "Come on, Dei."
"But danna…" All the anger is gone in Dei's face. He looks at Naruto pleadingly, as though the blonde should try to make amends.
"Come on, Deidara," Sasori snaps, impatient.
Naruto sucks in a quick breath at the name and tries hard not to have flashbacks. His breath catches in his throat and he can't exhale. He can't breathe. The whole world turns sideways. "No, danna, he's-" But Sasori jerks the blonde away as Naruto falls to his knees.
He sees Deidara, remembers Deidara. Their fights, the explosions. Gaara's death. Oh God. Gaara's death. Gaara's death was all Dei's fault. All Dei's fault…
His vision starts getting blurry as hate and rage consume him. He wishes that Dei were still here so he could punch the man. He wants to hurt someone, beat someone, because then at least he won't be the only one that hurts. But he knows he's not the only one that hurts because Gaara remembers too. Gaara remembers dying.
And it's all his fault…
He lets out a choked sob as tears hit the concrete beneath him. "Naruto." Gentle hands touch him, arms envelope him. "Naruto."
He tries to look up but the whole world is a blur through his eyes. He tries to blink back the tears but dark spots take their place in his eyes. Darkness comforts him as he passes out.
"Naruto." He opens his eyes slowly, blinking up at the man above him. "Naruto."
"You…" His voice feels weak, faint, scratchy, like he's been screaming for hours.
The man places a finger to his lips. "Don't talk. Just listen to me." The man helps him up. "Stop looking for memories." He wants to protest so badly but it's useless. He doesn't even understand why he'd want to protest something like this. The man is right. "Naruto, by now I hope you understand that it isn't worth it. And if you need any more reasons why you should stop, just take a good look at yourself. You're beaten and bruised, abandoned and emotionally scarred. Ask yourself, who are you suffering for? Them?" The man points to the door. "Those people that only want what used to be? They're living in the past." He grabs Naruto's arm. "This is a different life, Naruto, You don't need to be the person you were. Don't you understand? You were born with the gift of not remembering. You knew no pain or suffering. And you're hurting yourself. You're hurting yourself, Naruto."
"And Gaara," he rasps out. "I hurt Gaara because I made him remember." He buries his face in his hands. "I'm so sorry."
"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to."
"He won't talk to me. I've ruined his life." A hand rubs his back soothingly.
"Not all of our memories are sad or painful. Unfortunately, you most of all have a lot of bad memories. Your life then was not kind to you."
"It's not worth it," he concludes, looking up into the man's eyes.
"No it isn't," the man agrees, rising." "Stay as long as you like." He's about to leave when he turns back to the blonde. "I'm trying to do right, Naruto. Remember that when the memories show otherwise."
Alright, so I know that Sasori came off as a total jerk, but, well, it's Sasori and I don't really feel too bad about him coming off that way. Sorry to all you Sasori lovers who were crushed by the fact that he's like that.
If you have any questions or concerns or just comments in general, send me a PM or leave a review and I'll get back to you! I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
So, anyway, have a good day, night, morning, whatever!