Chapter 6

"What the hell were you doing Takino," Chief roared throwing down my report. "From what you wrote, there's no way you could've identified the suspect! Not at that distance!"

"B-But I told him I'd shoot," I couldn't even lift my head to say this. Only a few hours had passed since it happened. I think I was still in shock. "I must've shouted two, three times. But he ignored me . . . and for an ounce of weed."

Exasperated, I heard Chief sigh, saying, "Officer Takino, did it ever occur to you that the gas station might my surveillance footage? I know what you were trying to do. The right thing. And as an officer of the law, determining what that is can be difficult. But you gotta think!" I heard Chief pace around me. And I waited for him to say what I knew was coming. "A man with black hair and wearing a brown coat? Do you know how many people in JAPAN fit that description?"

"B-but . . ."

"But nothing. We have a family pressing us for answers as to why a police officer shot and killed their fourteen year old son. Tomo-san, for the moment, I want your badge, your gun, and your uniform. We'll discuss this later."

Without question, I turned in both my gun and my badge. Everything since the gunshot just flew past me. I couldn't think, could hardly speak. But I felt the stares of everyone in the building as I walked to the locker room. News spread quickly at the station. And Chief's walls weren't sound proof. The gunshot repeated with every step I took. Looking down the barrel, seeing the boy running from me, and pulling the trigger. I never even thought about where to aim; I had just lined up my sights and fired.

Finally entering the woman's locker room, I entered as quickly as possible and found Saegusa-san changing as well. One look at her face told me she knew. But after that I kept my eyes averted as I unbuttoned my top. Fortunately she was one of the more sympathetic officers. "Are you alright Takino-san?"

I didn't answer. I just stripped my jacket off and dropped it to the floor. When I'd started working, I'd been taught to treat the uniform with the utmost respect. Yet tossing the shoes onto the jacket was hardly a problem today.

"Takino, don't be too hard on yourself. It was an accident. You were only doing what you . . ."

"Have you ever done that," I couldn't help it. Something about her pissed me off. Which couldn't have been anything because she's so kind. But she spoke as if she knew; as if she knew what I was going through. "Shot the wrong person? Shot a kid? Killed someone? Have you?" She shrunk at my raising voice but I didn't care. She shook her head and I shouted, "Then shut up!"

As hard as I fought the tears, they just kept falling. I needed to get out of here. But I still had my uniform to turn in. How could I go back out there? How could I face him like this? "Tomo," Saegusa weakly said, and resting a hand on my shoulder she cooed, "I'm so sorry. Go home and rest. I'll take care of things here."

Whimpering, I nodded. After I finished changing, Saegusa led me out the locker room and out an emergency exit. Not exactly allowed, but it prevented me from walking past some of the busiest places in the building. When she turned to head back in I whispered my thanks for my voice had all but left me and said, "Sorry. I didn't mean to . . ."

"Don't be. You're upset. Call me if you need anything." And with that, she left me alone in the evening breeze.

I stumbled my way through the sidewalk, not really paying attention to where I was going. I couldn't get the boy's face out of my head. Coughing up blood, the jittering eyes; I watched him die. Over and over I watched him die. It just wouldn't stop. Nearly tripping over a trash can, I suddenly realized that I'd been going in circles. The apartment just a few houses down, I trudged up the stairs and into the apartment. Slipping past the front desk, I hit the third floor as fast as I could and hurried into my room. I just wanted to be by myself. Once inside, I fell onto my bed and buried my head in my arms.

I don't know how long I laid there; thinking about everything. The phone suddenly rang, and I turned over in bed, wondering whether or not it was worth answering. On the fourth or fifth ring, I finally drug myself out of bed to answer. It was Chief. His voice was soft, but stern. "Hey Takino-san. Listen I'm not one for beating round the bush so I'll get right down to it. You're on suspension. Two months, no pay. Take it easy for a while. When you get back, it'll be a desk job for some time. And don't expect to ever carry a gun again."

I nodded into the phone, knowing he couldn't see me, but what else could I do?

"Don't beat yourself up to much. You're a good cop Takino-san. I'm proud to have you here . . . Take care," and he hung up.

I spent much of the night pacing and just laid in bed all the next day. Before I knew it, Yomi was sitting next to me. If she had knocked, I didn't hear her. All I knew is that one moment I was alone, and the next Yomi was sitting right next to me, brushing my bangs away from my face.

". . . It didn't take long and I broke down there in her arms. I told her everything," Tomo said, shaking her head. She eyed the floor as she did so. The other two had been shocked into silence. Neither Sakaki nor Chiyo could come up with anything to say for comfort. Though that was probably out of the question anyway; with as long ago as everything had happened. Taking a deep breath, Tomo eventually continued, "I couldn't sleep for weeks. Every dream had been the same." Silently chuckling to herself, Tomo finished, "It's just something you can't live down. All the "what ifs" and "if only I would've . . ." they just drag you down."

A long silence followed, where no one could say anything. Sakaki, the first able to speak, muttered, "Why didn't you quit?" Hugging herself, she said, "I never would've been able to go back."

"I almost didn't. I was so close to quitting. Even talked it over with Yomi. But in the end, we decided it'd be best to try one more time." Tomo fidgeted for a bit and then glanced over to Chiyo, who eyed her expectantly. She remembered how sincere Chiyo had been in high school, but that was then. Chiyo anxiously awaited the next portion of her tale, waited to hear about a certain someone. Whatever Chiyo's experienced with Osaka, it must've stuck with her. But Tomo didn't blame her for that. She'd never forget what Osaka said to her, what Osaka showed her. "Anyways, all I saw for about three years was paperwork. I'd walk to my desk, sit down, and that'd be the day. Filing, filling out reports, figuring numbers, and doing data sheets; if a piece of paper needed work, odds were it landed on my desk. Then one day in 2012, right after the Summer Olympics, I got called in to Chief's office . . ."

"Well that's great Yomi! What's his name," I asked excitedly through the telephone.

"Hitoshi Yuuko," she hardly contained her enthusiasm as she explained, "I met him a couple weeks ago at work. He was just having lunch and the second he saw me, he said he was entranced."

"Though now that I think of it, you having a boyfriend before me sounds kind of suspicious. What his name? Hitoshi Yuuko? I think that guy's on our wanted list. I'm gonna have to ask you . . ."

"Shut up Tomo," Yomi said, sighing. But she'd been in too good a mood to let me spoil it. "Well I'll see you later Tomo. I know your break is ending."

"It is? Oh it is," I said, peaking at the clock. "Bye Yomi," hanging up, I thought about Yomi and what she said. Honestly, I was happy for her. As sensitive as she'd become about her weight, I didn't think she'd find a boyfriend. Not to mention Yomi hadn't been feeling well lately. So it was nice to hear her in such high spirits.

Back to reality, the overtime papers had somehow managed to pile up on my desk during the ten minute break. "I better start somewhere," I said, snatching a sheet from the pile.

"Takino-san. I need you in my office," came Chief's deep voice.

"Now what," I muttered as I grabbed a file off my desk and trudged across the room and into his office. Once the door had closed, I briefly glanced around the room which looked like something out of a cop show. Very cliché, I had to admit. Not much had changed since I last visited his office, except now he had those stupid blinds on all the windows; even the one to his door.

"Here's the report on the month's traffic violations," I said, dropping the file folder onto his desk.

"That's not why I called you in here Takino."

"Well if it's about the overtime papers, I don't know when I'll get them done. I just . . ."

"Shut up and listen." Fair enough. I shut my mouth and watched Chief pull out a file from his desk. Opening it, he handed me a brief summary of the report and said, "It's about a possible missing person case I want you to look into."

"What do you mean? You mean I . . ."

"I mean I want you to drive up to the house listed in the report and see if you can find anything." Chief said, handing me a picture. "This girl, Kagura, hasn't been seen at work for a while and no one has been able to contact her."

I couldn't believe it. My first outing in three years and it involved one my high school friends. It worried me. Not having seen Kagura in so long, what would happen if I did find her? And in what state? Knock it off Tomo! Ya can't think that. The last I heard of Kagura was that she had entered one of the surrounding colleges that specialized in athletics. But how useful could that be after college?

"Tomo," I jumped out of thought at hearing my name. Chief, who stared me down with the eyes of panther, said, "I know this is different for you . . . especially after that. But you'll be fine."

"That's not it," I said, staring at the picture again. "I just . . . Nevermind. I'll take care of it and report back after the inspection." If Chief knew about my acquaintance with Kagura, he might've changed his mind.

Driving to the house, I glanced again at Kagura's picture. Recent? I wasn't really sure. She looked almost exactly as she did in high school. But Kagura liked to stay fit. I remembered that much. She never missed a day with running. More commitment than I ever had with anything then; with the exception of annoying Yomi.

Arriving at the house, I stepped out and upon further inspection, damn what a nice house! I mean it wasn't big or anything, just a simple two story deal. A person could live comfortably in here, and without taking up too much space. Stepping inside, the first thing I noticed were the stairs leading up. They were only a couple of feet from the door.

"Kagura," I yelled, "It's me Tomo! From high school? Kagura, are you home?" No answer. I'd have to search the house. Walking past the stairs, a hallway curved around them to the left and led into a kitchen. But taking a quick peek inside, all I found was dirty dishes stacked on the cupboards and piled in cold, stagnant water. Bags of chips, cookies, and such littered the area around an overflowing garbage can. Something wasn't right. Sure Kagura had been a bonkler in school, but this didn't fit her. She seemed more like the type to keep a clean, orderly house. Not quite like Yomi, but better than me.

I stepped back out into the hallway and noticed a few other dead end doors. A bathroom in one and a small, empty bedroom in the other; nothing of importance there. Retracing my steps, I gazed up the dark, steep staircase. With nothing but a police baton on my belt for protection, I decided to save that for last. The only other door I hadn't tried was immediately to the right of the staircase.

Opening the door revealed a large living room. On the far wall sat a television with a couple of comfy chairs and loveseat all huddled around it. On the wall adjacent to me stood a massive bookshelf. Books aside, its main purpose served as photo album. Pictures of Kagura and family adorned the shelves and only allowed for a handful of actual books. Quite a few from swimming meets and one picture had the whole gang in it.

But what caught my attention was the trophy case. It stood on the same wall as the door that I had entered. Empty. Dusty. And down in front, on her knees, sat Kagura. She watched it as if in some kind of a trance. With her greasy hair and the stains on her clothes, she must've been sitting there for a couple of days. Even though she had once been my friend, if she was experiencing some sort of breakdown or mental deterioration, then she might attempt to attack me. I slowly approached her, and kept one hand on my undrawn baton for comfort. "Kagura," I gently called, "Kagura, it's me. Tomo. Didn't you hear me at the door?"

No response.

"We went to high school together," I said, as I knelt down next to her. But still, she said nothing. Her eyes remained fixated on the dusty trophy case. Thinking for a moment, I glanced at the picture of us on her bookshelf and got an idea. Grabbing it off the shelf, I returned to Kagura and held the picture in front of her. "Here Kagura. We're all here. There's Chiyo," I pointed, "And Yomi, and Sakaki, and you. There's Osaka. Remember her?"

Kagura's eyes fell off the trophy case and onto the picture. She stared at the picture hard, like she was trying to solve a puzzle or find a hidden image. Then, in a low whisper, Kagura said, "This picture. She's in it; along with everyone else." Kagura's fingers traced over the figures of each person in the picture and continued, "This was the only thing she really looked at. She picked it up and . . . the picture upset her somehow . . . like she wished to go back." Kagura broke off as her eyes focused on me. "She was here Tomo."

A little weirded out by Kagura's peculiar behavior, I asked, "Who was here?"

"Osaka. She was here. She stood right next to this case and spoke to me."

She watched me, waiting for a response. And suddenly I felt something seriously wrong. "Kagura, Osaka's dead. God it's been . . . ten years since she died."

Kagura, convinced by what she saw, said firmly, "She's not dead. At least, I don't think she is. Osaka came to me. She wanted my help." Well she believed what she said. That much I had figured out. That whatever Kagura had seen, she truly believed it to be Osaka.

I'd have to call Chief. But I didn't want to just leave her like this. So I pressed further. Maybe I'd get some explanation as to what she was saying. "Tell me what me happened. Take a deep breath, and start at the beginning."

She shifted in place on the floor; her eyes darting around the room, trying to decide where to start. Then eventually, she said, "Well, I guess I should tell you what happened in college first . . ."

Swimming practice. I pushed myself harder here than anything else on campus. In the water, that's where I felt I could really accomplish something. The front crawl, my favorite, shot me through the pool like a bullet. We'd just finished in the top five at a district competition, and the 2005 finals were coming up. I propelled myself through the water, only seeing the other end of the pool. I'd occasionally catch sight of Coach's legs, as she evaluated our performances. I couldn't let her down, I wouldn't let her down.

"Kagura," called the coach.

I slowed to a stop as small waves rushed on ahead. The rest of the swim team continued on either side as I answered, "Yes Coach?"

"Can you stay after practice today? There's something we need to discuss."

"Y-Yes. That's fine." Uh-oh. I knew what that was about. When I said I pushed myself the hardest with swimming, I wasn't kidding. As much effort as I forced into my classes, a C- ended up as the best score. I promised Coach I'd work harder on improving my grades, but with the swimming finals coming up, I couldn't just slack off.

Practice continued with some difficulty. I couldn't stop thinking about my last meeting with Coach. We had discussed ways of improving my grades and receiving extra credit. Test taking and note taking, and seeking help in the library; how could I fail her?

I eventually left the water and took a seat, waiting for practice to end. When the final swimmer had left the pool, I walked over to Coach's office and knocked on her door. My swimsuit still on and a towel wrapped around my body for drying, I watched as the door swung open.

Inviting me in, she said, "Kagura, do you know why I had you stay after?"

Hesitating, I answered, "We're having another meeting on my grades?" Her eyes followed me to a chair as I continued, knowing the direction of the conversation. "I know I've slacking off with my homework. But the finals are coming up. I don't want to let you down."

She placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and said, "Kagura, you let me down when I hear you're failing a class. And with the scores you got on your entrance exam, I know you can do better. Remember . . ."

"I know, I know," I said, ashamed for letting her down, "I wasn't born with fins."

"Good. Now that that's settled, on to the reason why I had you stay after."

"Huh? But wasn't it for . . ." She silenced me with a finger.

"The reason why you are here is because of a phone call that I received just last night." Coach paused as she pulled out a notebook with some scribbling on it. Had I done something wrong? "Yesterday, Japan's Olympic Committee called expressing an interest in one of my swimmers. They're looking for someone to compete in the 200 meter women's freestyle swimming event for the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing."

The way Coach explained, it was like she had transcribed the whole telephone conversation. And with my mind in temporary shock, I almost asked, "Who?" Instead, I asked, "Me?"

Coach nodded, a brilliant smile spreading across her face. She couldn't stop smiling as she plucked my hand from my lap and shook it. "Oh Kagura, I couldn't wait to give you the news. Congratulations!"

"W-Why me?" Why not someone else?"

"Oh don't be silly! You have broken a number of school records since you've been here, not to mention a couple of national records as well. You already have a division championship under your belt." Finally releasing my hand, she relaxed in her chair and crossed her arms. "They told me you're going places, and they want the Olympics to be one of them."

I had felt tears running down my cheeks some time ago. I was so happy I started to cry. It felt too good to be true. There was nothing that special about me. Heck I couldn't even keep decent grades. Coach eventually leaned in to hug me, but I stopped her and asked, "Are you sure they want me? I mean, this is all so sudden. Isn't it a little late for this?"

"It's a last minute thing for them. I don't even think Japan was going to participate in the even till they heard about you." And raising an eyebrow, Coach said, "But if you still don't believe me, then listen to this. Next Saturday, two officials from the Olympic Committee are coming here to watch you swim. They'll be timing you, and they'll want to see how much stamina you have. After the swim, we're all gonna meet so you can ask any questions you like. So what do you think?"

Hardly controlling myself, I said, "I-I'll be there." And with that, our meeting was over.