Previously in Beautiful Disaster:
Before she knew it, Rebecca was chugging away her painful memories. She finally forced herself to set the bottle down before it was halfway gone. She jammed the cork back in and trudged up the kitchen stairs to the second story.
"Is this as hard as it gets? Is this what it feels like to really cry?"
-Kelly Clarkson, Cry
At the top, Becky clutched the railing and looked down the long hallway at all the doors. Four white doors that ten years ago used to contain the rooms of the people she loved were now shut tightly, with only two of them having inhabitants: Michelle's and Danny's. Stephanie was obviously now sleeping in her college dorm, and DJ hadn't touched her doorknob in ten years. Joey and his fiancé Corinna had moved out two years ago. Michelle was going into her senior year of high school and Danny had gotten married to Vicky three years ago. Her life had been crumbling away for ten years and there was nothing she could do about it.
Rebecca walked up another short flight of stairs to her immediate family's attic apartment. As soon as she walked in she noticed the light on in one of the two rooms branching out from the master bedroom/living area. Becky rolled her eyes. "Rachel Nicole Katsopolis, go to bed."
"Ah, Mom, I'm on Skype with Steph. Can this wait?" the ten year old Katsopolis groaned.
"Your cousin?" Becky asked, her eyes widening. She hadn't seen her middle niece in a few months. Rebecca opened the door of her daughter's bedroom.
Sure enough, fixing her hair in the screen was the blondest Tanner, grinning widely when she saw her aunt. Becky couldn't help but flash back to her episode in the kitchen minutes ago and tried to keep her terrible memories of Stephanie out as she sat on the bed next to her brunette daughter.
"Hey, Aunt Becky," Stephanie said, readjusting her webcam.
"Steph, I haven't seen you in ages," Becky said, smiling. She was glad that this distraction came to her. She needed to think about something other than the paparazzi bombarding her just a few minutes ago.
"I've seen you on TV every morning, but that doesn't count," Stephanie said, grinning. "I'm so happy for you. You're practically a celebrity now, Aunt Becky!"
Rebecca grinned, but deep inside she really wanted to cry. "Thank you, Steph."
Someone off-screen suddenly shouted, "Hey, Tanner, you coming?"
Stephanie held up her finger to the screen as if to say one second and turned around in her chair. "I didn't know there was a party tonight, not fair!" she laughed. "I'm Skype-ing with my cousin right now, I'll be there in a little bit."
"You can't drive your car, remember?" a different girl shouted from another direction. Stephanie's face turned red and she looked at the screen for a moment. "Rach, I'll be back in a sec…" she said nervously, setting her laptop down and moving off screen. Rachel looked at her mother questioningly. Becky had an eerie feeling that she knew what was going on, and her heart pounded faster.
"Whose party is it?" she heard Stephanie ask in an attempted hushed voice.
"Beta Phi Nu; the hot fraternity!" a girl shouted loudly.
"I…I don't know. Last time I went to one of their parties…"
"A DUI isn't the end of the world, Steph."
Becky's eyes widened. "Rach, go brush your teeth."
"I already did…"
"Please, just let me have a moment with your cousin," she whispered. Rachel reluctantly obeyed and shut the door loudly, mumbling to herself. Becky fixated her eyes on the screen again and listened.
"It is when you get three in a fricking row," Stephanie growled. "I haven't even been sober for two months yet, okay? I can't go; you know what'll happen."
"Aww, is Stephanie Goody-Two-Shoes Tanner gonna lose her chips again?" one of the girls sang. Laughter was heard and then a door slammed. Stephanie got back on screen a few moments later, faking a smile.
"Okay, so where were we."
"Stephanie."
Stephanie sighed. "You heard. I'm…I have to go, Aunt Becky. I've been having a rough time."
"Apparently. Well, we're not done with this conversation. Love you, Steph." Stephanie only sighed and nodded before she shut off the monitor.
"Rach, go to bed now," Becky said as she walked out of her daughters' rom. "No more Skype-ing with Stephanie until I have a talk with her, okay?"
Rachel Katsopolis shrugged and yawned, closing the door to her room.
Becky turned and looked at the clock. 12:43 AM. She opened the door next to Rachel's room to check on her twelve year old twins, Nicky and Alex. Their light was off, but sure enough, they were both watching TV.
They hadn't noticed their mother yet, so Rebecca grabbed the remote control from the dresser and shut the TV off.
"Mom, you're home?" Nicky asked in a panicked voice. "We were just meaning to turn it off, we fell asleep, I'm sorry, we didn't mean to be up so late, and it was Alex's idea…"
"Will you shut up?" Alex groaned. "Mom, can we please just watch this until one?"
Becky chuckled silently. Her identical blonde sons were always getting into trouble.
"Well, that depends on what you're watching," she said.
"It's the first exhibition game of the season, and the quarterback just sprained his knee," Alex explained. "We recorded it and we're watching it now so we can fast forward the commercials." Becky sighed, not wanting to fight with her eldest children tonight. She flipped it back on just as it went to commercial.
"Nice going, Mom," Alex muttered. Alex definitely took after his father.
"Hey, when's dad supposed to come home?" Nicky asked his mother, almost as if he read her mind.
"Yesterday," Becky muttered after a few moments. Nicky understandingly turned away from his mother to give her a moment to fume. Jesse's band's world tour ended three days before and he was supposed to be home by yesterday, but of course he wasn't.
"Bed," Becky snapped, all of the sudden impatient with everything around her. She couldn't help it; that's what thinking about Jesse did to her. She snatched the remote from Alex and turned off the TV. "Night, munchkins."
"Night Mom," they muttered, knowing better than to irk her when she was in this kind of a mood. She gently closed the door and turned around to observe the family room/her and Jesse's master bedroom, putting her hands on her hips.
There was a knock on the door and Rebecca Katsopolis cocked her head. Who could that be? All at once it clicked: it had to be Jesse. It couldn't not be Jesse.
For her sanity's sake, it had better be Jesse.
She found herself speed walking to the door, ready to question her husband for exactly five minutes before she forgave him and hugged him and cuddled with him. Paparazzi had been particularly rough on her since he had left for his tour, and she was ready to hug him and have him tell her it was okay.
Rebecca stopped at the door, mentally preparing herself and putting on her best stern face. She then ran her fingers through her hair to eliminate any crazy strands and opened the door, her arms crossed.
Michelle raised an eyebrow. "Someone looks mad."
Becky closed her eyes in frustration. "What do you want, Michelle? It's almost one in the morning. Shouldn't you be asleep?"
"I was going to ask the same question," Michelle Tanner answered quickly. "Can I come in?"
Becky rolled her eyes and stepped aside. The almost eighteen-year-old breezily walked through the door. Becky had known this girl since she was two or three.
"You would think I was your secretary or something. While you were all depressed or whatever downstairs, you got two phone calls. I guess you didn't hear the phone ring. Dad was fast asleep so I had to get it."
"Who were they from?" Becky asked, uninterested. Michelle sat on the couch and put her feet up on the coffee table as if she owned the place. Becky didn't mind.
"One was from your agent. He wanted to tell you that you and Regis have a press conference next week. The other one was from Uncle Jesse."
Becky's eyes widened. "Wha-what'd he say?"
"He said he wanted you and me to come get him from the airport tomorrow. He said his flight had been cancelled and that he couldn't get phone service until now."
Rebecca exhaled loudly through her nose. "I have work tomorrow morning. I have work pretty much every morning; does he not know that? Michelle, can you pick him up by yourself? Do you need someone to go with you? I can go with you if we just wait till the show's over, or..."
Michelle shook her head. "Aunt Becky, I have my license. I don't need you to go everywhere with me when I drive like when I was fifteen."
Rebecca sat in silence. She knew Michelle was still in denial. In fact, she probably would always be in denial about it. Becky knew that the doctor said that it was okay for her to practice driving by herself, but it was Becky's motherly instinct kicking in.
August 17th, 1995. 8:00 AM.
"Well, Michelle, are you happy that you remember everyone now?" the doctor asked eight year old Michelle Tanner at her check-up. He had requested to perform some post-accident tests on her brain functionality and to trace any other signs of head trauma. After Michelle had fallen off of her horse a month before and lost her memory for a few days, he didn't want to take any other chances.
Becky and Jesse sat in the two plastic chairs in the office, and Michelle was perched on top of the patient examining table. She was obviously bored, ripping off small pieces of the sanitary paper she was sitting on top of. Danny had work that day and had asked Becky and Jesse to take her to the check-up. Becky had the day off that day.
"Yeah," Michelle said, yawning.
"Any headaches?" the doctor asked her.
Michelle contemplated this for a moment. "Sometimes."
He nodded and wrote something down. "Okay, well, I'm going to talk to your aunt and uncle in private for a minute. You're welcome to play in the toy area in the waiting room until we're finished."
Michelle shrugged and wordlessly hopped off the table, shutting the door behind her when she walked out of the room. That was odd for her, but then again, doctors offices always made Michelle uncomfortable.
Dr. Lawson turned to the Katsopolis couple. He looked down at the papers in his hand for a whole minute. They were Michelle's test results.
"What is it doctor? She's okay, right?" Jesse asked. Becky held his right hand in both of hers. He was always protective of Michelle, ever since she was a baby.
"Yeah, she's been acting normal and everything. Is there something wrong?" Becky inquired.
Dr. Lawson sighed. "It really was remarkable that Michelle recovered from her memory loss and head trauma so quickly. I wasn't expecting it to be so fast. Going into the tests, I was certain that everything would come out fine."
Becky felt Jesse tense, and she squeezed his hand to calm him down. They said nothing and waited for Dr. Lawson to speak again.
"Luckily, most of her brain is functioning completely normal," he said. "When she first came to the hospital I was expecting much more damage."
"Most of her brain?" Jesse asked.
Dr. Lawson paused again. "You know, with head injuries, we can never know what to expect. Michelle did have some remaining head trauma, and some permanent side effects are going to occur because of it. They aren't as bad as they could be; Michelle really got lucky."
"What side effects are you talking about?" Becky asked, knowing Jesse wanted to ask but didn't want to at the same time.
"Well, first off, she's definitely going to struggle more in school. She's going to have a harder time comprehending and understanding the information being taught to her. In middle school and high school she may have to be placed in classes that go at a slower pace than normal classes do. She's also going to have a slowed reaction time to certain things. She will probably have to practice driving for a lot longer than other kids do."
"Is that all?" Jesse asked.
"Yes, for now. I'd like to see her again in a few weeks," Dr. Lawson said. He stood up and shook both Katsopolis hands. They wordlessly walked back into the waiting room, Michelle's diagnosis in hand. Jesse stopped abruptly in the waiting room door and Becky had to stop as well so as not to bump into him.
She followed his gaze and saw him staring at Michelle. She was sitting on the floor, flipping through a Highlights magazine. Becky leaned her head on Jesse's shoulder and hugged his arm. She looked up at her husband and could see a tear in his eye.
Michelle didn't deserve this.
Becky exhaled loudly, shaking her head and trying to focus.
"Okay. If you need anything…please call me. My agent'll probably answer if we're on air, but during commercial break I'll check my phone. And try to stay off the interstate; back roads get you to the airport just as quickly."
Michelle started laughing. "Aunt Becky, I got this. Thanks for your concern, though. Goodnight."
"Night," Becky said, giving her youngest niece a quick hug before she walked away.
Becky changed quickly out of her uncomfortable designer dress and into sweats and a t-shirt. She curled up into her and Jesse's king-sized bed alone once again.
She wondered why her family had to be like this. She remembered the old days, when the whole family would sit around the table together. It was a tight squeeze, but they didn't mind. Jesse would fix his hair in a spoon and then put his arm around her shoulders. Joey would tell some cheesy joke using a cartoon voice, which in turn would have the young Nicky and Alex in hysterics. DJ and Stephanie would be bickering about something trivial and then make up moments later. Michelle would be trying to get everyone to listen to her stories about how her day had been. Danny would be laughing at everyone's jokes.
And Becky would take it all in, enjoying the love and warmth that surrounded her while it lasted.
Who knew it had to end so soon?
DJ hadn't spoken to the family in ages for no reason that Becky could think of. Sweet, sweet Stephanie was a juvenile delinquent with an alcohol addiction. Michelle wasn't exactly the cream of the crop in her class and everyone knew that she probably wasn't going to get into a university like she had always dreamed. And Becky's own husband didn't ever bother to kiss her goodnight anymore.
Rebecca Katsopolis buried herself deeper into the covers, wondering how it had all gone wrong. She felt herself let a tear escape. And then another one.
Becky wondered if she'd ever cried so hard in her life.