Title:It Had To Be You
Warnings:Slash. Spoilers up to the end of sixth season.
Pairings: Hotch/Reid
Summary: Sometimes you don't realize what's right in front of you until it's too late. Sometimes you realize it just in time to have it.
Word count: Under 1000 and going up.
DISCLAIMER: The Mark Gordon Company, ABC Studios and CBS Paramount Network Television own Criminal Minds. I just took them out to play and I promise put them back when I'm done.
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It Had To Be You
Chapter two: Smokescreen.
Next day Aaron wasn't getting any closer to fully understand what happened last night. What he knew however was that whatever happens to be affecting Reid the genius happens to be very good at hiding it from the others.
Reid smiled at something which Seaver just said and whatever it was caused Garcia to whack him across the head with partly rolled up file Aaron asked her to bring him. Then she said something which left Reid blushing furiously before she stormed up to Aaron's office with the file in hand.
It was only after the bullpen cleared off moderately and Reid's quadrant got empty when Aaron saw that Reid allowed himself to slump in his seat. His posture changed slightly five minutes later when Morgan came in and started his biweekly ritual of let's coax Reid out and drag him to a club. The ritual itself dates back to Reid's early days in BAU and Reid reacts predictably. Two times no, one time yes and once again from the beginning in the same pattern.
Aaron remembered that Reid succumbed to Morgan's plead two weeks ago which means that this time it was time for no. Reid reacted predictably, he shook his head. Morgan tried to coax him for few minutes longer and finally walked away with surprised expression on his face.
Aaron cornered Morgan in the break room after his last meeting after lunch.
"He said no, didn't he?" Aaron asked curiously.
"He has a date," Morgan quipped. "First date and if you or Garcia show up to thoroughly embarrass me I will replace your reports with Japanese porn magazines and I will hide the real ones where you least expect. Curiosity compels me to go and check on him but he has been antsy all day so I'd rather stay away."
"Japanese porn?" Aaron frowned.
"I don't want to know," Morgan shook his head.
Then the first part sunk. Reid had a date and so did Aaron. Damn Jess.
Okay, not really damn Jess. She has been great friend to him and Jack adores her. Especially after Haley died he grew fonder of her and her support to both Jack and himself had been gigantic and if Aaron had to give her a label, not that he believes in labels she would be patient and extremely supportive sister. Annoying one on that.
About three months ago Jess decided that it was the highest time for Aaron to start dating again. He disagreed, she pressed a bit harder and they finally settled on one outing per month. One evening out wouldn't kill him not that the women he had been set up with were really interesting.
And if Morgan didn't mention that Reid has a date Aaron wouldn't remember that he agreed to meet one of Jess's colleagues for dinner. Luckily Jack has prescheduled sleepover with one of his friends from kindergarten.
Two and half of hour later he was seated at Martin's Tavern. It wasn't exactly an establishment he would frequent for dates but Jess said that Marissa loves the tavern and Aaron decided that at the very least one of the would be comfortable there.
He wasn't complaining. They had a good ale and the waitress approached him trice in fifteen minutes about further orders even if the place was slightly cramped.
Marissa was running late and it was the only thing that stopped him from ordering. He wasn't worried because it was just five minutes and even if it makes bad impression Aaron understood that she might have been held up at the office and most probably was stuck in traffic.
So he settled himself at admiring the view outside and eying the door.
Long time ago he used to love Georgetown for its unique character.
Then he frowned.
He would have recognized this untamed mane everywhere even… or rather when it happens to be hidden behind a book entitled 'Eastern Sexual Traditions'. Well it explained Japanese porn. Reid never done a research by half and when he started one he always went all the way, and sometimes beyond.
Unlike Aaron who was dressed in his best casual suit Reid was dressed normally. In fact he looked as if he came into the tavern straight from the office. Without looking he sat down at the reversed table between Aaron and the door and continued reading until the same waitress who approached Aaron approached him.
"Two pints of Guinness, Agnes," Reid said without looking. "And onion rings."
"Have you ever thought about the office?" Agnes quipped.
"Yes I did," Reid said simply. "I don't like it, it smells like hospital and the food there tastes like cardboard box."
"Hungry and snappy," Agnes said. "Delmonico?
"Meatloaf," Reid quipped. "And I heard something about salmon but I wouldn't be putting any body parts on the line. Nice try by the way."
"I'll be right back," Agnes smiled before she wandered away.
Reid kept reading his book for next three minutes until Agnes came back with Guinness. He thanked her with small nod and resumed reading.
Marissa still had failed to arrive so Aaron concentrated his attention again on Reid.
Reid's shoulders were tense and he looked like he was waiting for someone.
Aaron was about to call out to him to come and sit with him when the door dinged and Reid shot up into properly seated position.
The woman who made Reid change his position wasn't one Aaron expected Reid to get along with. For starters she was dressed absurdly casually, she didn't have even a hint of makeup and her hair looked as if they were still wet from a recent shower.
It wasn't a first date. In fact it might not have been a date at all.
"You are late," Reid chided her.
"Good evening to you too," she quipped as she sat down in the opposite seat. "ER shift, five years old puked on me. How was your day?"
"Splendid," Reid snorted. "Better than yours at the very least. But in overall not that good," he added with a sigh.
"No change?" the woman asked
"Nothing," Reid sighed. "Am I closet masochist?"
"You are closet something," the woman smiled quickly. "Speaking about the closet have you opened the door?"
"I did. I opened and closed them so fast that I slammed myself in the face with them," Reid muttered. "I admitted to Morgan that I can get a date. I'm being ridiculous am I not?" he asked with a defeated sigh.
"Modern society relays on their shrinks," the woman said simply. "Some even marry them."
"Then said shrinks under the avalanche of problems of their spouses go to see other shrinks, divorce their spouses, marry their shrinks and so on and on and on," Reid grumbled.
"It's quite apocalyptic scenario don't you think?" the woman asked before she took a sip of her ale.
"Well at the very least it won't occur here," Reid sighed. "Not without very deep hypnosis and it had been scientifically proved that with some problems even hypnosis can deal."
"You are admitting to defeat on the other front," the woman said.
"I tried to work around it you know," Reid shrugged. "I really tried but every time I approached the point … I found myself asking what in the name of Einstein I was doing there. They weren't bad, they were nice, some funny, some not. They just weren't right and what they offered wasn't what I wanted. They weren't him."
"I know," the woman said compassionately. "How long it had been?"
"From the very beginning? Eight years, four months and two days. Since I knew for good? Four years, three months, four days. It's never going to work and yet… Instead of recovering and moving on I'm still holding onto little things, still hoping that one day things are going to change. But they won't."
"They won't for as long as you still remain in the sidelines," the woman said.
"I won't be rejected as long as I will remain in sidelines," Reid sighed. "I still have hope in sidelines. Or rather I used to have hope in sidelines. Now… I don't have it either. Things are starting to change."
"With you?"
"With all of us," Reid shook his head. "I've got a job offer from with White Collar Crime, Unit Chief with the prospect of becoming section chief in few years."
"Are you going to take it?" the woman asked skeptically.
"Hotch left early today," Reid changed the subject. "And if he didn't I would be sticking around until he would. In his in-box along with my reports lays my letter of resignation from BAU, request for transfer to white-collar crime and a permission slip for two weeks worth unpaid leave effective immediately."
"You won't last long in White Collar," the woman said.
"At this rate I won't last long in BAU either," Reid said bitterly. "It's officially over, Cameron. I'm finished, I'm done, I quit, I concede. I want to move on. I want to be happy and I'm not going to wait for Godot to finally realize that someone is waiting. I waited long enough. I'm not a doormat to be walked upon back and forth. And if it will shock all of them? I say good. I gave enough and I finally want something to take. I finally want something to myself."
"Do you want to head out?" the woman asked. "Chuck popcorn at ducks in the park?"
"I'm making a scene," Reid said sadly.
"You aren't making a scene, Reid," the woman shook her head. "You are hurting and you need to get away for a while. You can start now."
They left the money for drinks and uneaten onion rings on the table and left the tavern leaving Aaron completely confused.
It wasn't right. He can't understand it. Before Elle left there were signs… Before Gideon left there were signs… Before Haley left there were signs. There were no signs with Reid.
Only this resigned, defeated, "What I want I'm not going to get. Bye Hotch."
Then it sunk. It was both a sign and a goodbye.
When Aaron rushed out onto the street Reid and his companion were already gone.
Gone…
"No," Aaron whispered. "Not this time. Not this fucking time."
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