Chapter 12 – Give me time
A/N: Reality is over-rated. Who needs it? That is why we have fan fiction. So yeah hope this brings you guys some relief from your days. I am so sorry for the very long break I took but sometimes life happens and yeah you have to take a break from things when there are things to be done of a higher priority. On a good note, I want to mention something that has really gone well for me. I met the love of my life in September, Katherine, so I've spent time getting to know her, and she is incredible. She is also now my beta. I love you Katherine. Check her out if you like Grey's Anatomy – Katherine1183
underc0vergirl: I am so glad you loved it. Sorry for the long wait. abbierena: I am so glad you love Casey in this story, and yeah she is right, maybe Olivia should live a little. Calzona: Yeah Casey is a great best friend to Olivia. Ryan Maze: I'm glad you like it! prentiss-be-mine: Adorable? YAY. The heat will come :P Katherine1183: So my beautiful beautiful love I'm glad you love this story baby. And I think I know what it got you thinking of, you might want to revisit your last comment so that you know what I'm talking about babe. Yep Casey is full of good advice. I rob your breath? Awwww. A bit later than December oooops :S I loved you reviews babe. I love you. Lillian: I will work on making Olivia's character non-one-dimensional. But if Olivia seems off I'd like to just say, love does crazy things to people, and personally I love that. Ilikeeggs: Suck eggs? Uh? Should I be offended?
It really goes without saying, I DO NOT OWN SVU! So here is more of the story, hope you enjoy!
Last time: "How was your talk with Casey?" Kathleen asked, hoping for a good answer.
"Let's just say it was helpful, very insightful." Olivia smiled at Kathleen, willing her to hear the meaning behind her words.
Kathleen smiled back at her, the smile that make Olivia week at the knees, her breath catches as Kathleen's even pearly white teeth shine at her, teeth she remembers touching with her tongue. Olivia watches her, aching for her, her gaze flittered to Kathleen perfect lips, she remembered the kiss they shared, their first kiss. It had robbed her of her breath.
XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX
Why can't I get her out of my head. Olivia pondered as she lay awake for in the cribs for the third night in a row. Ever since her kiss with Kathleen on this very bed, the brunette had been avoiding the younger woman, running out on pointless errands whenever the blonde graced the bullpen. Why can't I just go for it or completely forget about her. So deep in thought was the detective that she hadn't heard the creak of the door. She only became aware of the other persons presence as they walked into one of the low bunks.
"Shit", Kathleen grumbled rubbing her shin, startling the detective into an upright position. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you quite so abruptly" the blonde apologised thankful the dark disguised her growing blush.
"I wasn't asleep." The brunette detective knew her tone was harsh but she couldn't help but be brash, why couldn't she just get the blonde out of her head. She had come to the conclusion that she needed more time, to be sure she wanted to cause friction in her friendship with Elliot by becoming involved with his daughter.
"Um ok" The blonde was confused. Until it clicked, Olivia hadn't been too busy to see her lately. She'd been avoiding her. Oh no, she regretted their kiss. But it had been perfect. She'd said so herself.
"Olivia?" Kathleen ventured, struggling to keep the tears from thickening her voice. "Do you regret what happened? Do you regret our kiss?"
Olivia sighed. How could she answer that? Of course I don't regret that kiss, it was, it was the most meaningful kiss I have ever had. I want to do it again; I think I want to do it now. "It's not that I regret it Kathleen. I just… I need to think things over more. Before I commit to anything ok? I need to think about this logically. I need to think about how this will affect my friendship with your father."
"Why do you keep doing this to me Olivia? You should just choose and not keep dragging me along." Kathleen replied.
"That.."
"No." Kathleen interrupted, needing to say her piece. "It's my turn Olivia. You can't keep doing this. You can't kiss me, toy with my emotions like that and then leave me hanging. It's hard Olivia. It's like your calling all the shots and I'm just supposed to sit back and take it, and kiss you or whatever when you say so. It doesn't work like that. You're an adult Olivia, and so am I, this isn't wrong. My father will just have to get over himself."
"I uh. Wow." Olivia was once again surprised by the young woman's wise words, yet she couldn't seem to take them on board, not fully. Her friendship with Elliot is what has kept her sane for so long that it was what she held most dear. Losing that would hurt, maybe too much. "Kathleen…" Olivia sighed.
"I still need to think this through ok? Please just let me do that. This is huge ok? Elliot is like my family. I cannot lose him. I know it's difficult but don't write me off completely ok? Not just yet." Olivia shuffled on the bed, tapping the now free space for the younger woman to take residence.
Kathleen looked down at the woman before her, and saw the internal struggle in her brown eyes. She slowly stepped forward and perched herself next to the brunette on the cotton sheets. Kathleen tentatively scooted so that her back was against the wall, her arm mere centimetres from the darker haired beauty.
Getting comfortable Kathleen contemplated what to say next, in her mind everything was so clear, she liked Olivia, more than liked her. She could feel the connection they shared almost as well as she could feel the cool temperature of the wall behind her against her back.
"So what happens now?" Kathleen ventured.
"You give me time. Let me sort my head out."
"And then?" the blonde knew she sounded like a petulant child asking if they were there yet, but she didn't care.
"And then I will let you know." Olivia stated.
"Seriously?" Kathleen contested in disbelief. She just had to wait, on the off chance Olivia decided to give her a chance.
"What more do you want me to say Kathleen?" Olivia tried to defend herself.
"You're infuriating!" Kathleen stressed.
"Excuse me?" confused Olivia turned towards the blonde.
"Why can't you just see how easy this is? We have something that could become really special Olivia, how can you not jump at the chance to be happy? With me?" Kathleen looked vulnerable.
Olivia felt ashamed of herself. Look at what you're doing to the girl; she's barely holding back tears. Olivia reached out to take the younger woman's hand in hers in attempt to comfort her, both not expecting the sparks they felt such simple contact.
Kathleen turned her small shoulders towards Olivia as Olivia did the same.
"Don't you feel that?" the blonde whispered.
"Yes." The brunette husked.
"Don't you want be take a chance?"
"I.."
"Am I not enough?"
"That's not.."
"Look into my eyes Olivia" Kathleen leaned forward a little.
"I.." Olivia trailed off.
"Can't you feel that between us Olivia? You said you do but really, feel it."
Olivia closed her eyes felt what it was Kathleen was talking about, something undefinable. Upon opening her eyes the detective found that Kathleen had moved closed, her face almost touching her own.
"I.." Kathleen interrupted Olivia by closing the gap and pressing her lips against the full ones of the woman breathing heavily in front of her.
Feeling Olivia begin to participate in the kiss Kathleen reached up and placed her small hand on the olive toned woman's cheek, flushed from the intimacy of the kiss. Olivia felt herself give in to the feeling of being kissed by the younger woman, moaning in to the kiss she too placed a hand on the blondes cheek, stroking it with her thumb before siding her hand up to tangle in blonde waves.
As the kiss began to get more passionate Kathleen shifted to her knees forcing the female detective to slide back to allow her to kneel between her toned thighs. Kathleen smiled into the kiss, she couldn't believe how much she could feel from just one kiss. How was it even possible to feel so much.
Kathleen felt Olivia moan again and pull her closer making her feel more confident, she daringly let her hand wander from Olivia's cheek to tease the woman's neck before slowly, almost waiting to be told to stop, letting her small hand wander to the other woman's full breasts. Kathleen felt the firmness of Olivia's breast against her palm. Olivia moaned in her throat and leaned into Kathleen's soft touch.
Growing more confident Kathleen let her thumb gently tease Olivia's nipple through her shirt. Olivia felt herself growing even more aroused, wetness pooling between her legs. Taking it that little bit further Kathleen pinched Olivia's hardened nipple between her thumb and forefinger, causing Olivia to moan loudly and grasp Kathleen's tiny hips and flip her onto the bed. Kathleen although surprised by this move loved it; she loved feeling Olivia on top of her, their breasts touching.
Olivia deepened the kiss further, sucking Kathleen's tongue into her mouth.
"Mmmhmm" Kathleen moaned in appreciation. She showed Olivia just how much she appreciated that move by sliding her hand from its home on Olivia's breast down her toned tight tummy before taking both of them by surprise and rubbing the juncture between Olivia's legs over the centre seem in her pants.
The action seemed to sober Olivia and she quickly pulled away from the young blonde, sitting back on her feet, sit straddling the blonde and still breathing heavily.
Kathleen still had her eyes closed, her breathing still fast. She was afraid to open them, dread becoming increasingly present in her tummy. Please don't do this again.
Olivia looked down at the young women under her; the sight caused her to become even more turned on if that was even possible. Kathleen was on her back her chest rising and falling in quick succession her cheeks beautiful flushed with arousal and her blonde hairs splayed around her head like a halo on sheets that protected her from the cot. Olivia's breath caught as she saw the blonde tense and screw up her eyes. Shit, Olivia. She's afraid you're going to reject her again. How could you let yourself do this.
Kathleen couldn't stop the tear that escaped down her cheek, not even by screwing up her eyes tight. All she could think was oh God no, please don't do this again Olivia.
Olivia felt her heart break as she saw the tiny tear the young woman was so desperately trying to hold back slide down her cheek. In that moment she knew just what to do. Olivia leant down and gently kissed the tear away, her lips lingering softly on the prone woman's cheek.
Kathleen attentively opened her blue eyes and looked into the eyes of the woman straddling her.
"…" Kathleen tried to speak but she couldn't find the words, she was so sure Olivia would push her away again.
"Are you ok sweetie?" Olivia asked, amused at the confusions clearly panted across the blondes picturesque face.
" I … uh …"
Olivia smiled before leaning down to capture the blonde's lips in a kiss again before climbing off the woman and helping her into a sitting position beside her.
They sat beside each other for a little while, neither saying a thing. Neither daring to break the spell.
"Are you … I mean are we… I mean … What?" Kathleen tried to form a cohesive sentence.
Olivia smiled; she had to figure a way to do this before anything happened between them. She couldn't risk hurting the girl more than she already had. She needed to make sure she was 100% sure she could do this before building Kathleen's hopes up any further.
"Let me work through my feelings and confusion about this first and I will get back to you Kathleen, I promise." Olivia could sense that Kathleen was about to interrupt again so she quickly continued. "I'm not saying this will happen sweetie but I'm also not saying it won't. I want it to, I really do. And I'm going to try to get myself to find a way that we can do this."
Kathleen didn't know whether to feel relived or even more frustrated so she settled for both. She was glad Olivia hadn't pushed her away again and told her they weren't to do this, but then she was so frustrated that Olivia kept her at arm's length, calling the shots. Why couldn't' she see they were meant to be?
Olivia turned her body more fully towards the smaller woman who in turn did the same, Olivia encased the blondes hand in her own. They didn't speak. Their eyes connected and they sat and stared at each other. Getting lost in the depths of the other soul.
Both could feel the heat rising between them again. It was Olivia who spoke first.
"If we sit here much longer just looking at each other I'm scared something will happen between us."
Perching on the end of the bed Olivia gathers Kathleen in her arms and lingeringly kissed her temple. She can't do this, seduce her. But it wouldn't be seduction would it? If she touched her, Kathleen would give in. Olivia was almost frightened by her feelings; she got to her feet quickly and ran out.
Kathleen followed the retreating woman with her eyes, sighing as that door creaked closed behind her. She sat on the cot for a while longer, pondering what just happened, gazing aimlessly around the room before leaving the cribs more confused than she was when she arrived.
A/N: Hope you liked the cribs scene. Please review to let me know what you think. Next up is a chapter you will not want to miss, it's what you've all been waiting for, I hope. I know everyone says this but reviews really do make you review faster. So you know, review =P