Made Man

Jess was driving home from the office. She went down one of the streets she often made part of her commute. It was a short street with little shops, drycleaners, antique stores, and grocers on either side. Buyers and customers would park on the side of the road in front of a parking meter. Jess noticed Nathan's car parked. She saw him come out of a flower shop and go into a laundry mat. It wasn't at all a busy street, and since there were no cars behind her she waited for him to come out. She was curious as to why he wasn't at work.

Nathan seemed startled when he emerged from the laundry mat and saw his wife's car in the street.

"Hi," she said.

"…What are you doing here?"

"It's nice to see you too. Why aren't you at work?"

"I got off early, so I decided to tour the city."

"Oh." It seemed like a lie. But she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. "I guess I'll see you at home. Are you heading back there now?"

"Soon. I have to stop at the bank first."

"Okay. Love you, bye."

"I love you too, bye."

xxxxx

When he got home Antonio called Jess to ask if she could watch Ethan that evening. Then he went to tell Nicole that he was taking her out. He was very allusive to it all, and she had no idea what was on his mind.

Antonio called Elias to check on him—something he did every two weeks or so. But he hadn't been able to get in touch with him the past few days. Once again after five rings he heard the answering machine. "Elias, it's Antonio. Call me when you hear this. I'm starting to worry."

xxxxx

Around seven that night Nicole walked Ethan across the street. Normally she would have just let him go alone, but she wanted to see Nathan. She wanted to start being a good friend to Jess by trying to be a friend to Jess's husband. She still didn't approve of what he did on the radio, but she figured it was an act.

Ethan rang the bell the way he loved to do. He'd ring it five or six times in a row and Nicole would always have to tell him to stop.

"It doesn't make them come to the door any sooner," she told him.

"I know," his smirk made her wonder if maybe he just did it to bug her.

His behavior the past week had been getting increasingly unruly. Deliberate defiance, using swear words, refusing to eat more foods, were all just some of the things Nicole had contended with while trying to care for her formerly sweet nephew. His misbehaviors went unpunished because Nicole didn't know how to punish without hitting. She was reading books that were teaching her how to do just that.

Jess opened the door and they came in.

"He's already eaten, so you can let him stay up for another hour, and then bed." Nicole looked down at Ethan. "And I don't want you giving her any trouble."

He only smiled and with his eyes said we'll see.

Nathan came to the living room.

"Hello, Nathan," Nicole said politely, surprising him and Jess.

"Hello," he replied somewhat surprised and then he went back to his paper.

"We'll be fine. Take your time. I'll see you when ever," Jess told Nicole.

Antonio's attitude and Jess's unusual accommodating still didn't give Nicole the slightest of clues about what her evening would be. She kissed Ethan goodbye.

xxxxx

After dinner Antonio brought Nicole to the planetarium. It was open late for a night activity they held every month.

"What in the world are we doing here?" Nicole asked.

"You'll see," he held her hand and brought her to a space simulator room. It was a big dark room with chairs that tilted back. Guests would sit down and look up at the stars and planets that gave the feeling you were careening through space.

"I like this," Nicole commented. "This is cool."

Nicole got lost in thought as she stared at the stars going past her. Then it stopped. All the stars were frozen. They moved around and it looked like they were spelling something. Before she knew it she was looking up at a bunch of stars that spelled out: will you marry me, Nicole?

She got it. She sat up quickly to find Antonio was no longer sitting beside her. He was on one knee in front of her with a ring in his hand. The lights came on.

Nicole froze. Suddenly it all made sense. She couldn't believe she didn't see it coming. She was scared, but there were fifty people staring at her and the man knelt before her. She certainly could not say no.

She put on her best smile, "yes."

Everyone clapped. Antonio slipped the ring on her finger and hugged her.

I can't believe this, she thought as they hugged and the applause echoed around them, we're not ready for marriage. What is he thinking?

xxxxx

They were walking hand in hand out of the planetarium to the car. Antonio was telling her about everything he'd been up to.

"And I knew from the second I saw that ad I was ready to leave the bureau and start my life with you."

"Are you sure this is what you want? You don't have to give up being an agent. I'm sure you can get a position with the Maryland field office."

"I don't want to be an agent anymore. I want us to start living like a normal married couple. I want to work five days a week. I want a normal eight to five career. I want to have a bunch of little Antonios and little Nicoles waiting to greet me when I come though the door. I want to be around to eat dinner with them, give them their baths, and put them to bed. I don't want to have to worry about someone coming to harm my family. I just want peace, and I haven't had that for a year."

They reached the car. Nicole stopped him before he could go over to the driver's side.

"That's very sweet, Antonio. But did you notice something about what you just said?"

"What?"

"All those things you want. I wasn't a part of any of that."

"Yes you were. I said-"

"You said you wanted us to start living like a normal married couple. That's all. Then you talked about how your life would be ideally, but you didn't mention me. You mentioned kids and being dad. And that you wanted a job that you would be safe doing."

"I love you. I really think we can make this work."

"I love you too, but I need to be sure that you want to marry me because you love the idea of waking up with me every morning. Not because I can give you kids. And not because our relationship makes you feel safe."

Antonio opened his mouth, but she continued talking.

"And even when I am sure of it then I have to be sure that I really want to marry you. I also have to be sure I can give you what you want in a wife."

"You do. These past four months of living with you, waking up with you, going to bed with you have been great."

"I don't know if I can do this, Antonio."

He was patient. He wasn't hearing anything he wasn't expecting.

"Let's go home," he said, "I'll get Ethan from Jess's, put him to bed, and then we can stay up and discuss all of this. I will prove to you that we can make this work." He kissed her and opened the passenger's door for her to get in.

xxxxx

"How did it go?" Jess whispered while Antonio was lifting his sleeping nephew-to-be off the bed.

"She said yes. Now all I have to do is make her stick with that. Oh, yeah, she asked me to ask you if he behaved."

"I didn't have that much trouble getting him to sleep."

"Not that much? Is it okay if I tell Nicole you didn't have any? I really don't want her to have anything else to talk about besides us tonight."

"That's fine."

"I'm getting so sick of lying to her."

"What else are you lying about?"

"…Uh….nothing, nothing. I better get him to bed."

"Sure. See you tomorrow."

"Bye."

xxxxx

Ethan was asleep in his room. Nicole and Antonio settled in their bed to talk about all the pros and cons of marriage. It was Nicole's turn to disclose all her fears and Antonio's job to promise that none of them were valid. She interrogated him with question after question after question. She had to be sure he wanted to marry her. She needed to know none of his decisions were about his being almost killed. She needed to know he would have proposed that night even if he hadn't lived the ordeal he survived twelve months before.

He was certain his reasons were mostly because he loved Nicole. He did acknowledge that perhaps he had realized how short life is and maybe that made him want to move a little faster than he used to. But he was confident that sooner or later he would have asked Nicole to marry him. He knew she was the only person he wanted to be his wife. He promised he would make their marriage work. She believed him.

xxxxx

The next morning Antonio and Nicole happily got ready for work. Nicole couldn't believe she was looking at her engagement ring and not feeling overwhelmed with fear.

Antonio was happy too, but one thing loomed over his head. He still hadn't told Nicole the truth about Nathan. His friend Jess still didn't know who she was really married to. Sooner or later he would have to tell one of them. But he was going to let Nicole enjoy her first day as a fiancé first.

"So you're going to tell Kemyss today?" Nicole disrupted his thoughts.

"As soon as we get there. Just one more day of being an agent."

"Hopefully we'll have a tough case, and you will solve it and go out with a bang."

xxxxx

"What the hell is this," Nathan said looking at a glass he pulled out of the dishwasher.

Jess was busy dressing Joseph and only looked back at him for a second. "It looks like a glass, Nathan."

"It's filthy. I thought you said you ran the dishwasher last night."

"I did."

"Then what's wrong with this glass?"

"I don't have control over what the dishwasher does. You don't like the way I wash them, you don't like the way the dishwasher washes them, maybe you should try washing them yourself."

"Maybe you should try…" he stopped. If they continued it would have been the fifth argument they'd had in less than twelve hours.

They were both exhausted and without saying a word decided to let that one go.

It wasn't that they weren't in love with each other, but for some reason they were always fighting. Nathan was always tense and Jess sensed it. He wasn't willing to tell her why and she didn't really want to ask. She didn't really want to know.

xxxxx

"Come in," Kemyss said to Antonio. "Sit down," he said with that typical placid attitude he always managed to have. "What's on your mind?"

"Well, Nicole and I are engaged."

"I see."

"I know I can't go on working on this team, so I've accepted a position with the airport. I start on Thursday. I wanted to give you more notice than that, but I just wasn't able to. But I was sure the airport would have called you to confirm my resumé."

"They did. Congratulations. You've done good work here. We'll miss you."

"Thank you, Sir," Antonio stood up and shook his hand.

xxxxx

"Congratulations," Jess hugged Nicole, "it's about time."

"When he did it I was freaking out, but then we talked and it…it just really feels right. For the first time in my life I can see myself as someone's wife…it still sounds weird though."

"You'll do great. You two belong together."

"I think so too, I really do."

xxxxx

The team had a typical day. They got an assignment that they solved in less than seven hours. That was the good work that their team typically did. They were let go early—at three.

Nicole and Antonio took the same car to work. On their way back to Maryland Antonio decided it was time to tell Nicole that he had lied to her.

When they reached the first traffic light he gave her some papers he had in a compartment by the driver's seat.

"You should read this," he said as she took the papers he offered.

"You look nervous. What is this, a prenuptial agreement?"

"…No. But we can talk about that later."

Nicole read for moments before she realized what she was reading. "This is Nathan's background check." Nicole read of allegations of illegal gambling, gun running, extortion, importation, and exportation. The accusations were endless, but there were no convictions. There were also a number of other men involved in these accusations. Nicole put two and two together: Jess married a made man.

xxxxx

On the way home Jess stopped by the drug store. She had just enough time to do what she had to do before Nathan came home. She was feeling somewhat lousy the past two days. It wasn't until that morning that she realized that was how she felt when she was pregnant with Joseph. After some thinking back on the month of December, and specifically their wedding night, she decided to buy a test that would tell her what she already knew.

Pregnant, the digital test read.

She didn't feel the way she felt when she found out she was pregnant just ten months before—scared, angry, embarrassed, confused. This time she was almost completely content. There were some concerns; surely two children has to be more tiring than one, and her and Nathan were going though a rough patch, but overall she was okay about it.

xxxxx

Nicole knocked on the door. She heard Jess call come in, so she did.

"You have interesting timing," Jess told Nicole.

"Where's Nathan?"

"He won't be here for about another hour."

Nicole didn't say anything when she gave Jess the papers Antonio had shown her.

"What's this?" Jess asked not even bothering to look at them before getting an answer.

"Read it."

Jess did. "He never told me about any of this."

She was calm and Nicole knew why. Jess was thinking those were all unfortunate mistakes where as Nicole was thinking they weren't.

Jess finished reading most of what she'd been handed. She looked up at Nicole.

"You don't really think this is true do you?"

Nicole said nothing.

"Nicole, I grew up with this guy. I would know if he was in a mob."

Still Nicole was patient. Denial is always the first stage in grief. "His radio show ends at eight every morning, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. So?"

"So why isn't he home until after five?"

"I don't know. I never asked."

"His most common crime is extortion. But the easiest to prove would be the illegal gambling. Doesn't he have people over here often when he wants you and Joe out of the house?"

"I can't believe you're asking me these things. My husband is not a criminal. His family-"

"Is involved in this too…Or at least they were. When Nathan moved here his dad retired."

Jess's expression to Nicole was one of disbelief. She was smiling as though she thought Nicole was being stupid. But inside her mind was reeling. Not even the denial of a loving wife could overshadow—not entirely anyway—all the things she had seen Nathan doing since they married—frequent phone calls where he would lock himself in the bedroom and insist on being alone, not wanting her or Joseph in the house when his friends would come over.

Jess's smile disappeared and was replaced with a look of anger. "Where did you get this anyway?"

Nicole was quick and frank. There was no point in lying, "I ran a check on him."

"You ran a background check on him." She laughed raucously. "What gave you the right to do that?"

Still Nicole maintained her complete honesty in a composed state. "I was suspicious about the amount of money he always seemed to have and I felt if he was involved in something that could be dangerous to you or Joe you should know about it."

"Then why didn't you talk to me about this?"

She had no more answers.

"You didn't because you knew what you were doing was wrong. This wasn't about you getting information to protect us. It was about you poking your nose in where it doesn't belong to dig up dirt on Nathan."

Nicole knew part of that was true. "If I made you feel violated then I'm sorry. But now that you know who he is, you can't obsess about being mad at me. You have to deal with this."

"There's nothing todeal with. None of this is true and as soon as Nathan comes home he'll prove it."

xxxxx

Nathan came though the door with a gym bag in his hand. Jess was waiting for him on the family room sofa. She didn't know what she would say. She stood up, and showed him the papers.

"Is it true?" was her only question while he read them.

"Of course not. I hung out with a bad crowd in L.A. when I found out who they were I bailed, but it was too late. The cops already saw me as one of them, so they arrested me."

"Is that the truth?"

"Yes."

"The whole truth?"

"The whole truth."

"Why don't you get home until after five everyday? And what were you really doing at that flower shop and laundry mat yesterday?"

"There's more to a job in radio than just being on the radio. I have to plan the next day's show. I have to clean the studio. And as for the flower shop and laundry mat, I was just looking at the areas of town that I never saw before."

Jess was feeling foolish. She smiled, embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

He smiled back. "Don't worry about it." He hugged her. "Listen, I have to drive up to Atlantic City."

"Atlantic city? What for?"

"We're doing a special broadcast up there. I'll be back around nine tonight."

"Okay…But first there is something I want to tell you."

"Shoot."

"I'm pregnant."

"….Oh, wow. Okay."

"Are you all right?"

"I'm great. You?"

"I'm great too."

"Okay then…I'll see you later."

"What's in the bag?" she said referring to the gym bag.

"That's just some radio equipment. I'll be right back."

He left the gym bag in the middle of the room. He walked through the dining room, down the hall, and disappeared into the master bedroom. Jess was alone with a gym bag full of "radio equipment".

Knowing if he was telling the truth about what was in the bag she would feel even more stupid than she already did, so she didn't look inside. There was no reason for her to doubt him.

He came back to the family room, grabbed the gym bag, and kissed her.

"Bye," he said.

"Bye," she replied as he walked to the door. "Be careful," she added, but he was already gone. She was never sure why she threw those last words in. Maybe it was because he was going to be on the highway for two hours. Or maybe she was still suspicious of him. She told herself she believed him and didn't think about it the rest of the day.

When Nicole's big window that showed everything that went on outside when she was in the living room revealed Nathan leaving with a bag (that she assumed contained some of his things) she figured that Jess had made the right choice. She was pretty sure her company was not welcome, but just in case Jess needed someone to talk to Nicole went back over there.

Again, after Jess said come in, Nicole did.

"I saw him go," Nicole said. "I'm glad you saw the truth. I thought it would take you longer to believe it."

"Wrong again, Nicole. All that stuff you found when you were invading Nathan's privacy was—just as it said—allegations. He didn't know about those things those people were doing. The police believed him, and that's why he's married now and not in prison."

"You believed that."

"Yes I did."

"So where did he go just now?"

"Atlantic city."

"New Jersey. Doesn't sound like a place for the Mafia at all," Nicole said full sarcasm.

Jess just thought she was full of something else. "If you want to think that that's fine. I don't care. You can go now."

"What if I can prove to you-"

"You can go now."

xxxxx

That Tuesday evening Nicole read of all the "business" activities Nathan had engaged in while he was in New Jersey. He had only been there for six hours and was far from finished with what he came there to do. "After he left he went inside this casino for less than ten minutes. After that he went straight to the bank and deposited, as you can see, a very large amount of money."

"He told me about that," Jess said in his defense, "he has been in business with the owner of that casino for years now."

"When did he tell you that, from New Jersey two hours ago? Which is right around the time Agent Ricardo called and said Nathan figured out he was being followed. And if you need more proof, tax records of the owner of that casino don't mention Nathan at all."

Jess was stunned. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She knew who Nathan was and she knew Nicole knew it too. It was futile to say anything more to defend him. But that didn't mean she had to admit it aloud. "I have to feed Joe." She showed Nicole to the door.

Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.

-Mirabeau

I'd like to make this and subsequent chapters a little less confusing by explaining the terminology of the mafia:

THE STRUCTURE OF LA COSA NOSTRA

Made Man: refers to any guy in a mafia family.

Family: the boss and members of the group. They can be but don't necessarily have to be related.

Boss or Don: is the lead of the family all major decisions are made by him.

Underboss: is second in command and will take the boss's place if he dies or goes to jail.

Capo: Capos are third in command. They are like lieutenants that lead their section of the family. They have soldiers that work for them. Capos have specific areas that he operates and territory that belongs to him.

Soldier: Soldiers are the last in the family. They belong to the Capos. They are the lowest ranking among made men. They are responsible for the "dirty work".

Associates: are not members of the family. They work with the mob—I.E. drug dealers or lawyers.

Consigliere: is not part of the family either. He acts as an advisor and makes impartial decisions.

Here is another term that you might find useful to know the meaning of:

Extortion: protection rackets are extortion schemes. The Capo tells a shop, casino, or business owner to give a percentage of the weekly earnings to him so he can "protect" the owner or the business. The idea is his soldiers will not harm the owner, the owner's family, or the business if he gets his money.