Chapter 3
"I'm sorry dears, I just can't help out with little Teddy until November 1st." Molly told Harry and Severus from the floo. "None of us can find Bill and he hasn't checked in since April, when he and Fluer separated. He calls every month without fail, but just not the last few. We're extremely worried, and Arthur is taking some time off of work so we can go to France and look for him. It's just not like him to do something like this."
"Don't worry Molly, I understand. I hope you find him, I really do." Harry consoled. They shared goodbyes and Harry glanced to Severus. "Shall we try Luna?"
"Yes, she may be our last hope." The older wizard said with an impassive face.
Harry nodded and tossed some floo powder into the fire, calling out for the Lovegood residence. "Hi, is Luna there?" He asked the answering house elf.
"Yes Sir, Polly will go get Mistress Luna." She replied.
Moments later, Luna's head appeared in the fireplace, as well as Dudley's. "Harry? Is everything alright?" The young woman asked.
"Not really, we start back at work Monday and we need someone to watch Teddy during school hours come September."
"What happened with Mrs. Molly?" Dudley asked.
"She and Arthur are going to France to look for Bill, he's missing." Severus explained.
"That's awful, I hope she finds him." Luna commented. "I'm sorry Harry, but we're both working now, and Lillian stays with my dad during the day. I can ask him if he'd watch Teddy too if you'd like." She offered.
"No, he's too far out since he can't be reached by floo. I don't really like it when Teddy's more than a floo-trip away." Harry admitted. "Thanks though."
"No problem. I hope you find someone." Luna offered. They shared their goodbyes as well, and Harry slumped back into his chair.
"Who else do we know that's good with kids?" Harry pondered aloud.
"What about Aunt Hermione?" Alden offered.
"No, she's studying at that muggle college in America now, she needs the time for her school." Harry supplied.
"Uncle Ron?"
"I fear he wouldn't know how to handle a toddler for more than an hour on his own." Severus told them.
"You're right. He's great with infants and children, but toddlers are way to much for him." Harry said with a sigh.
"Uncles Fred and G-"
"No." Harry and Severus both called out at the same time.
"It was just a suggestion." Alden said sheepishly. "They're not so bad."
"Yes, but you are a teenager. You know right from wrong and you've a good head on your shoulders. Their pranks could seriously do some harm if Teddy got hold of them." Severus explained.
"What about Uncle Percy?" Alden suggested.
"Well, he is a floo-call away." Harry said thoughtfully.
"And he is an intelligent person capable of handling a toddler." Severus concluded.
"But he is on another continent." Harry said with a wrinkled nose.
"And I don't quite fancy our son growing up to be a snob." Severus added.
Harry sighed again. "Macoval and Tamara are out of the question as well, they can't be reached by floo. Not to mention the house elves have far too much on their plate as is. Minerva is a no go unless it's an emergency, considering she's Headmistress and all."
"Poppy's out of the question as well, being a Medi-Witch in the school's infirmary. So is Lorraine, because she can't take care of a toddler and Roger at the same time." Severus noted.
"It looks like we're going to have to work something out with Minnie then." Harry said with a sigh.
(¯`·. Hp/Ss .·´¯)
"Well what would you do with Teddy during the other five blocks?" Minerva asked the men sitting in front of her. They had requested that Severus have first block for his free period, and Harry have second so they could take care of Teddy in the mornings.
"I was thinking that I could have him in a safe area within my classroom since my schedule has Ravenclaws and Gryffindors together for third block all throughout the week." Harry offered.
"And during fourth block when the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs have Potions together I could have him in my office with a constant monitoring charm over him. Those two houses work much better together in Potions than any other pairing I've seen, which by the way Friday's schedule could be switched around a bit to have them together on fourth and stick the Slytherins and Gryffindors on fifth block instead so as to make it even throughout the week." Severus tried.
"Alden has fifth block free, so he could take care of Teddy during that time. As for sixth, and seventh block... we have no idea." Harry said with a sigh.
"Boys, I don't think this is going to work out very well." Minerva told them bluntly.
"Well what do you suggest we do Minnie?" Harry pleaded. "We've already tried everyone we know who is good with children his age, but they're all too busy. Molly can't help out until she and Arthur come back in November. That's 2 months we will be without a sitter."
"Well, have you tried Draco and Charlie?" Minerva asked, not recalling hearing them mention the two in their list of people they'd tried.
"Draco never crossed my mind as someone who would be willing to take care of a toddler." Harry admitted.
"Charles is good with Teddy." Severus admitted.
"Well, we could ask." Harry offered. "Minerva, can we use your floo?"
"Of course." The Headmistress replied, handing a bit of floo powder to the young man.
After calling out for the Malfoy residence, speaking with a house elf, and finally getting Draco to come to the fireplace, Harry set in. "Hey Draco, how much do you love us?"
"That depends... what do you want me to do?" The blond asked warily.
"Well you see, we've been asking around and Molly's sai-"
"Just get on with it." Draco interrupted.
"Right... Will you and/or Charlie take care of Teddy for us during the school hours until November starts when Molly can take over again?" Harry asked.
"Absolutely. Why didn't you say so earlier?" Draco inquired.
"Well, to be quite honest, I wasn't sure you'd be willing."
"Potter, you should know me better than that by now. I'm not the type of person to turn down family just because of a little thing like work." Draco chided.
"Really..." Harry mused skeptically.
"Well, alright yes I am. But not you guys. I mean if it were just you and you'd never gotten engaged and married to Uncle Sev, then yea I'd probably turn you down, but when you two got engaged it changed everything. It showed that you really did care about him, weren't using him to get laid or some such bull, and it made him happier than I'd ever seen him. So yeah. I'd do work for you guys."
"And Mum and Dad." Charlie called out from behind him.
"Yes, and the Weasleys Senior. Because they're his family, and I quite like them as well. Not to mention they'll be my family legally in about 3 months."
"Thanks for that by the way." Harry said. "It really does mean a lot that you postponed your wedding until I got back."
"Actually that was Charlie's idea. I'd have just went on with it without a second thought." Draco admitted.
"Well I'm glad you're honest." Harry said with a chuckle.
"Right. What times are we keeping him, and how's he getting back and forth?" Draco asked.
"Monday through Friday from 7 am to 4 pm. Starting Friday September 1st, and ending October 31st, whatever day that comes on." Harry told him.
"Wednesday." Minerva supplied.
"Right. Wednesday. He'll be going by floo, I can bring him to you in the mornings, and Severus can come get him in the afternoons." Harry offered.
"Sounds reasonable." Draco mused.
"No pranks from the twins aloud around him." Severus said sternly.
"I wouldn't let that happen." Charlie called out from behind the young man.
"Right. Thanks a lot." Harry said.
"You're welcome." Draco replied.
"By the way, you might want to slip into 'Lord Malfoy' mode tomorrow." Harry told the other young man.
"Oh? And why is this?" Draco asked, his interest highly piqued.
"Well you see, Minister Shacklebolt came by the day after I came back, as you know."
"Yeah..."
"And he said he'd send me an owl as he wanted to set something up. Well I received the owl today, and he kind of wants me to come by with Severus, and you plus one guest, you should be getting your owl by 6 tonight, to the Ministry, tomorrow at noon. But there's a problem."
"Which is..."
"It's a lunch thing for the wealthiest Lords and Ladies of the Wizarding Community in the UK. Now, were I simply titled Lord Potter, I'd not be invited, but as I am the Black Heir, that wealth with the Potter Fortune accumulates to... well, a lot."
"And the problem is..."
"I have no clue how to act at this kind of lunch thing meeting with rich hoidy toidy loons who think they're better than everyone else." Harry admitted, causing Draco and Severus to smirk and Minerva to chuckle.
"So you need me to teach you how to act like a proper aristocrat for a 'Lord's Luncheon', which by the way, is its proper name." Draco summarized.
"Yeah."
"Well first off, don't call them 'rich hoidy toidy loons', and don't say that they think they're better than everyone else. While they're both true, they are not polite conversation points. Save that till you get away from them. If it's okay with Minnie, I'll be there tonight to help you."
"It's fine with me." The Headmistress said with a smile.
(¯`·. Hp/Ss .·´¯)
"No Potter, Merlin. You are impossible." Draco chided.
"Well I can't help it if there's three forks to choose from and they all look usable." Harry snapped. "And it doesn't help that there's three spoons and two knives. It's overkill. I mean a drink spoon? Really?"
"No no no. This is the soup spoon, this is the drink spoon, and this is the dessert spoon. This is the appetizer fork, this is the main course fork, and this is the salad fork. This is the butter knife, and this is the cutting knife." Draco explained again.
"Why are there two glasses?" Harry asked. The rest of the staff were watching on in amusement as the two sat at one of the two tables set up in the Great Hall, fussing over proper dining.
"This is the wine glass, and this is the water glass." Draco tried.
"How do they expect me to eat an appetizer, a main course, a soup, a salad, and bread? Not to mention drink both wine and water, all in one meal? And lunch on top of that? It's not even dinner!" Harry demanded.
"The portions are tiny." Draco told him. "See that tiny little square of steak just sitting there with the spoonful of peas and the spoonful of diced potatoes beside it?"
"Yeah, that's the appetizer, right?" Harry asked.
"No, that's the main course." Draco told the stunned young man. "Those two cheese sticks are the appetizer."
"They're so little!" Harry complained. "Wait, that whole 3 leaves of lettuce with some weird oil drizzled on it isn't... like a weird side dish of some sort, is it? That's a salad."
"Now you're getting it." Draco said with a smile.
"Oh good grief. How much soup is there?"
"Not nearly enough." Draco commented. "All in all, about 5 spoonfuls of it. That's why the soup spoon is so small."
"And the dessert?"
"A slice of cake about centimeter thick."
"Merlin. Okay, I retract my previous statement. How do they expect me to eat what adds to up a half a plate of a normal meal, and be full?"
"Bread." Draco informed him. "Lots of bread. It fills you up quicker. Now, I'll leave a diagram with you tonight of the proper names and uses of all of the utensils, dishes, and glasses. In the mean time, we need to work on polite conversation." The young man looked up to the staff who were watching on with stifled chuckles and amused expressions. "I need three volunteers to act like aristocrats."
"Oh great, now I get to learn how to talk like a 'fancy person' over dinner. I thought I did quite well with that already, as proven during those stupid speeches I had to give." Harry said, propping his elbow on the table and resting his head on his hand.
"Get that arm off the table this instant!" Draco called out, smacking the young man's offending arm with his wand while Professors Flitwick, Sinistra, and Headmistress McGonagall sat down as the volunteers. "And you did fine for those situations, but polite aristocratic dinner conversation is an art all in itself.
Harry snatched his arm back and glanced around at the table. "Right... Uhh, good afternoon."
"Wrong." Draco said right off the bat.
"Of course it is." Harry grumped.
"You start with something acknowledging their status. 'Lords and Ladies, it is a pleasure.' Say that with a little bow or a double roll of your wand hand. Then you can sit down and set a napkin in your lap. Now stand up and do it right." Draco ordered.
(¯`·. Hp/Ss .·´¯)
Harry took the napkin from his lap and folded it lightly, dabbing the corners of his mouth just a bit. He sat it down, folded, in the middle of his empty desert plate and nodded to those present. "It was truly a pleasure making some of your acquaintance and seeing some of you again." He stated politely.
"You as well Lord Potter." Lady Wintringham said. "Tell me, before you depart, why is it that you wish to be called Lord Potter, and not Lord Potter Black? After all, your inheritance of both fortunes entitles you to both names."
Harry gave a tiny smile and nodded his head at the woman slightly. "People have called me 'Potter' all of my life. 'Potter Black' sounds foreign to me. Not to mention if I were to go publicly by all of the titles that came with inheritances that have been willed to 'The-Boy-Who-Lived', and 'He-Who-Killed-He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named', then I would be known as 'Lord Potter Black Wimborne Perkins Ledburry Broadmoor Pivis Lervatsky'. Mind you, that's not including the smaller fortunes under 500,000 galleons. It seems a bit redundant to be quite honest."
"You're the Broadmoor Heir?" Lord Toplian asked with a scandalized look.
"I am afraid so." Harry replied, then leaned in as if to whisper. "The late Lord Broadmoor seemed to have a grudge against his children according to his will." He leaned back out and raised his hands slightly. "But that's all I'm allowed to say on that matter."
"You must be the richest wizard in the UK." Lady Wright commented.
"Probably not." Harry replied, to several of their astonishment. "Most of the willed fortunes that come to me go directly in to charity accounts that Gringotts holds for me. It was a suggestion of Lord Malfoy's that happens to work wonders keeping the restoration effort going in the UK, and funding for the Wizarding community in Romania."
"And you're kind to boot." Lady Wintringham added. "It's a pity you're married, I'd snatch you up in a heartbeat."
"I think my husband would have something to say about that." Harry said with an amused grin. "Now, I must be off, I've a new generation of Hogwarts Graduates to teach tomorrow, and I simply must get some rest."
By the time Harry and Severus had reached their rooms back at Hogwarts, Harry had mussed up his hair, unbuttoned those awful robes, and took those pinchy shoes off. "How'd it go?" Alden asked, looking up to the men as they came in through the portrait.
"It was awful!" Harry protested. "They only wanted to talk about money, who was who's heir, money, boring things, money, and did I mention money?"
"No I don't believe you did. Try it again." Severus suggested.
"MONEY! Dear Merlin, how much money a person has does not make them who they are! Don't any of the people who were born rich and didn't have a crap life know this?" Harry ranted, ripping his tie and outer robes off.
"Not likely. Arse-hats like that tend to believe that how much money a person is the only thing that defines them." Severus explained. "Mum's family was full of them."
"Asshat!" Teddy squealed.
Severus closed his eyes and pinched his lips together. "I wish someone would have told me he was awake. I'd have watched my language."
"Teddy, that's not nice." Harry scolded.
"Papa say it."
"Papa was mad."
"I mad I say it." Teddy tried.
"No, nobody should say it."
"Bad word?"
"Yes."
Teddy gave a glare to Severus. "Papa bad word. Papa go time out."
The older wizard stared incredulously at the toddler. "Excuse me?"
"Papa go time out. Now!" Teddy ordered.
"Does he seriously expect me to go sit in a corner on a baby stool because I, an adult, said a bad word?" Severus asked.
"Well, we are trying to teach him that bad things get punishments." Harry offered, trying to hide the grin from his face.
"I am not sitting on a baby stool in a corner." Snape stated.
"Papa time out." Teddy repeated, giving the man a pointed look.
"No." Snape told the child.
"Papa time out or daddy spank." Teddy told the man.
Snape raised an eyebrow that suggested he preferred the latter, and Harry's hands flew to his mouth while he tried to stop laughing. "Just do... Do a five... Oh god... Five minute time out Severus." The young man said between rolls of laughter. "I really don't want to explain that to him for about 10 more years."
Snape rolled his eyes. "I demand a stool that is tall enough for me."
"Time out stool is time out stool. Papa time out, so time out stool." Teddy argued. Merlin sometimes Harry was amazed that the werewolf in him allowed his comprehension to grow so quickly. It was hard trying to think of him as a 2 ½ year old. Hell at this rate, by the time he was 3, he'd have the comprehension of a 5 year old.
"You're not going to distract him so I can say I did later, are you?" Severus asked his husband.
Harry grinned brightly. "Of course not dear. That would lying, and lying is bad. Not to mention Ron and Draco would love to see a memory of you sitting on the 'time out stool' in the corner.
Snape growled and narrowed his eyes at his young lover. "If you make me do this, you aren't getting any for a week."
"I didn't want to hear that, la la la la la." Alden said covering his ears with his hands.
Harry just kept grinning like a loon. "I can live with that, because this will be so worth it."