Have you ever noticed that when you don't want to do something time seems to speed up towards that event? Maybe it's just me, but before I knew it Saturday lunch-time had arrived, and I was starting to wish I had never been born. I was so scared-I mean angry- that I couldn't even eat my cheeseburger!
In retrospect, I should have known that something was amiss the second I saw Clara, one of Aphrodite's evil harpy of a daughter staring at me, but in my defense I thought she was looking at my brother (who was showing off for her).
I discovered my mistake when, on a trip to the bathroom I was mobbed by someone wearing a sickeningly scented perfume. I could have easily fought the girl off, but before I could some other scoundrel stuck a needle in my arm and I began to fade into unconsciousness.
I woke up wearing nothing but bindings, a gag and my underwear, which, let me tell you, is no fun experience. The room I was in looked like a soldier's worst nightmare; pink walls, doilies, and posters of celebrities (even that beaver kid for some reason), and the stench of flowers and all sorts of ungodly scents was so thick you could slice it with a knife.
Unfortunately my pride and near-naked state prevented me from hopping out of the hellhole which I realised had to be the Aphrodite cabin. I had no time to think up any other strategies (although if I was honest with myself I probably wouldn't have thought of one anyway), because at that moment a most hellish sight greeted my eyes. Walking into the room were Cesca, Layla, Piper, Clara, Lacy and a few other of Aphrodite's daughters.
Clara, who was obviously in charge of this operation, turned to her half-sister and said "Well Piper, you haven't given us much to work with, but we'll manage."
Another time I may have been insulted, but then the rusty cogs in my brain began to turn. This was Piper's suggestion, Piper is Leo's friend. This is all Leo's fault. He would pay.
Turning towards me, Clara attempted to hide her grimace as she said cheerfully; "It has come to our attention that you have a date," giggle giggle "as your friends, and daughters of the love goddess it is our duty to ready you for this experience. But I must warn you, you will experience pain, pain in the face of the unknown, please do not panic we know what we're doing. Rose, the hot wax."
I was grabbed by two surprisingly strong pairs of arms, and forced unceremoniously into a salon style chair. I felt a warm sensation on one of my legs, and looking down I noticed that someone had taken it upon themselves to pour something on my skin. On top of that was placed a sort of paper. Momentarily I was confused, until a few seconds later, the girl named Rose grabbed the paper and ripped it off.
It hurt like Hades causing me to scream some choice expletives through the gag. But the pain and misery did not stop there, they began doing it again! These people were insane! Suddenly, someone grabbed my hair and used it as a lever to pull my head back, so they could start doing the same to my eyebrows.
All the while the traitorous, two-faced bitches that I call friends were grinning at me and waving, ecstatic grins spread across their back-stabbing faces.
After several minutes of this Clara said, a satisfied grin on her face "Finished! Lacy have you run the bath?"
"Yes" squeaked a little girl with braces
Suddenly, I was hoisted from the chair, my hands and feet still bound, and was half-dragged, half shoved into a bathroom. I was stripped of what little clothes I had left and thrown into the tub. I swear I had never felt so humiliated in my life.
I was scrubbed until my skin was red raw, and gods only knows what they did with all that gooey crap in my hair.
Finally, finally, it was over. I was dried and forced into a fluffy pink bathrobe, whereupon they dragged me to another room and bound me to a salon style hair. Clara (who was acting more and more like a drill sergeant with each passing second) started barking out commands.
"Casey, left hand, Sarah, right. Jenna, Shelley, you two take the toes. Megan, you and I will dry and brush the hair. Lacy, you get the underwear." Wait, what?
The next few minutes were a blur of tugging sensations and girls complaining about my 'absolutely abominable' nails.
It took them half a frigging hour to finish, and trust me they did not stop there. Soon, they were applying make-up like there was no tomorrow, under Clara's firm instructions to 'make it look natural, but not too natural'.
Complete they stepped back, critical looks on their faces.
Clara said; "Layla, Francesca can you get her into the underwear, my sisters and I need to have a fashion conference. Do not smudge that make-up." She spoke so fiercely even I was scared to ruin the look.
Then those cows stepped forward holding a pair of lacy underwear and a push-up bra. I swear, they were going to die for this.
"Layla, what time is it?" asked Clara, plainly nervous.
"Six o'clock." She replied cheerfully "So we have two more hours."
"Good, good that gives us just enough time to do her hair. Layla, Cesca, you stay with me, the rest of you get ready." She said in a martyred tone. "Layla, pass me the straightener."
The straightener turned out to be a plastic contraption with two strips of hot metal, which gave the victim's ears quite painful burns. Maybe I shouldn't have jerked around screaming quite so much.
Finally, after what seemed like eons of having my hair yanked, burnt and arranged, the terrible ordeal was over. Ready to put up a fight, I strained against my bonds just as another stab in my arm pushed me over the brink of unconsciousness.
I woke up, my body aching all-over. It was exactly 7:55, five minutes before the start of the dance thingy. Francesca must have compiled the dosage I thought bitterly, as I painstakingly got up out of my chair and shuffled towards one of the numerous mirrors that littered the room. I was almost too scared to look, but I finally screwed up the courage.
The sight that greeted me was too horrible to even comprehend.
Those…those bitches, those complete and utter cows had dressed me as Jessica damn Rabbit!
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