Awful, Beautiful Life

In late October of that year things were looking great for Nicole and Antonio. The paperwork for Heather's adoption was all filled out. They got approval from the family court. All they had to do was wait until it was finalized in April.

Heather was bonding fantastically with her soon-to-be parents and had a special bond with her soon-to-be father. She was already calling them Mommy and Daddy.

They went to the zoo, the park, museums, and fairs. Every weekend Nicole or Antonio thought of something to do with her. And having her in their lives made their relationship stronger than it ever was.

Children in the home was having the opposite affect on Nathan and Jess. They were okay the first few weeks after Toby was born, but it was all down hill from there. They fought more than they did when they were first married.

Everything was so bad between them Jess shuttered to think of what came of the last time the two of them were together. Everything she'd ever read told her that after giving birth a woman could not get pregnant again for six weeks, but her doctor told her otherwise at her six week check up. On that afternoon Jess was informed that she was three weeks pregnant.

Jess was seriously considering terminating the pregnancy. She was so sick of being pregnant. She was so sick of being out of work. And she didn't want anymore ammunition for Nathan and her to scream about.

xxxxx

"Hello," Nicole answered her phone.

"Hello, Nicole." Heather's case worker said.

"Hi…Is something wrong?" Nicole read the tones in people's voices very well. She always knew when someone had bad news.

"Heather's paternal grandmother came to see me today."

"What? You said there were no relatives."

"I said we couldn't find any relatives. Heather's mother ran into her mother-in-law yesterday and told her Heather is being adopted. The grandmother was here first thing this morning. She wants to contest it. I'm sorry, Nicole."

"First thing this morning."

"I waited until after five-thirty because I knew at least Antonio would be home then."

"So that's it?"

"You can get the family courts involved in this. She's not yours legally, but you have provided a nurturing home for her for two months. Her grandmother has never even met her."

"How much of a chance do we have of winning?"

"It depends on the judge. Some are more sensitive to reuniting children with blood relatives. Can you come in tomorrow morning? I'm meeting with the grandmother again. Maybe if she met you and Antonio she will change her mind."

"We'll be there."

Nicole went in the other room.

Antonio looked up from the couch. "What happened?"

"Heather's grandmother talked to her case worker today. She wants her."

"Can she do that? We already started adopting her."

"She said we should go to her office tomorrow and meet the grandmother. Maybe if she meets us she will change her mind," Nicole's voice unexpectedly cracked and she started crying.

Antonio felt just as badly, but he stayed in control. He wrapped his arms around her. "It's all right. I'm sure once she sees how much Heather is loved she will let us keep her. And if not we'll fight it in court."

xxxxx

Jess had just told Nathan they were having another baby.

"Are you kidding me?" Nathan asked. "Are you freaking kidding me? When did this happen?"

"I guess it happened the last time we had sex, Nathan."

"It was three weeks after Nathan was born!"

"My doctor says it can happen anytime after the baby is born. Any time."

"Great. That's just great, Jess. Nice job."

"It's not like I planned this."

"You never plan it, do you?"

"That better have been you really asking not an insinuation."

"How hard is it to pop a pill, Jess?"

"May I remind you that the night this baby was conceived I told you I wasn't taking anything?"

"And then you immediately continued with, but I can't get pregnant for another three weeks."

"I said I probably couldn't! And us being together was your idea. You wanted it."

"I never wanted this." Right after he said that he knew he crossed the line.

Toby woke up and they heard him crying in his nursery.

Nathan threw up his arms. "I guess we better get used to that." He left the room.

"Where are you going?"

"Out," was all he said before she heard the front door close.

xxxxx

Antonio was just as—if not more—upset about the possibility of losing Heather as Nicole, but he didn't show it. He was too busy playing the tough guy for Nicole—and she was sick of it.

She wanted someone who she could really talk to. Someone who would acknowledge that she might lose her foster child, so she went over to talk to Jess.

Jess opened the door. "Nicole, this isn't a good-"

"I have to talk to someone who will be real with me," Nicole said coming in.

"Did something happen?"

"Heather's grandmother wants her."

"I'm sorry." She would have been as shocked as every else if she didn't have her own problems.

"She's never even seen her before and Antonio and I have raised her for two months. Now all of a sudden she can just come out of nowhere and take her from us? Does that sound right to you? The more I think of it the madder it makes me."

"I'm sorry."

"And of course Antonio is no help…or too much help. I can't figure out which. He says we're not going to lose her. Her case worker made it clear we very well might."

"Sorry," Jess said sitting on the couch. She could tell this was going to take a while.

"Our only chance is to go down to the Child Welfare office tomorrow morning and basically beg that woman to let us keep Heather. This is such a nightmare."

Jess's mind went elsewhere. She realized Nicole was finally done. "…Um…I could give you the number to some lawyers. From what I hear they never lose. I don't know if they know anything about family court though."

"Are these Nathan's lawyers, Jess? I don't want Mafia lawyers."

"I don't know what they are. If you don't want the numbers then I can't help you. I have some ironing to do."

"What is going on with you?"

"I am pregnant again."

"That must be a strain on the problems you and Nathan are already having."

"He left. I don't know if he's coming back."

"What did he say…exactly?"

"He was just mad. I can't say I blame him. I am too. Who does this? One accidental baby is bad enough, but three? There is no excuse for that."

"Nathan made two of those babies, so I hope he isn't trying to make you feel like this is all on you."

"It doesn't matter who it's on. Our marriage is dying here and I think one more child will just hammer the last nail in the coffin. This is it for us if I have this baby…I guess the only question is give up the baby or the marriage?"

"What are you going to do?"

"Nothing. Not until I talk to Nathan."

xxxxx

That night Antonio left another voice mail on Elias's machine and went upstairs to find his wife. He passed Heather's room and stopped to watch her sleep for a while.

Nicole was in their bedroom.

"Did Elias pick up?"

"No. Are you feeling any better?"

"Actually I am. I was thinking about Heather. You see, all day I've been thinking about our feelings and not what's best for her. If we really love her we should want what will make her the most happy…The only blood relative I have in my life is my mother. The only blood relatives I have ever known are my parents. I never had a grandparent. I never had an aunt or uncle. Sometimes I feel like a part of me is missing. I don't want Heather to ever feel that. If she asks about her family one day I don't want to tell her we kept her from her grandmother."

"This grandmother failed as a mother. That's why her son became a drug addict and abandoned his daughter at a bus stop. And we should give her another child?"

"Did your mother fail with Elias?"

"No. And this is not about Elias. My mother knows Elias has problems and she would live in the same city as him if he had a baby. Where was this woman the past three years of Heather's life?"

"Maybe she didn't even know Heather existed. Antonio, I know this is hard, but I think we should seriously consider backing off."

"I don't want to do that."

"You knew this could happen."

"Yes. I knew all the while we were fostering her, but we filed to adopt her and we were accepted. If it didn't take them so long to finalize it we wouldn't even be having this conversation."

"Wouldn't we? I don't need papers to tell me Heather is my daughter. It wouldn't matter if this happened now or in April. I would still be saying these things…But I know this isn't just my decision and I promise I will let you make the call on this one. If you want to take this to court I'll be right behind you."

"Unwillingly though, right?"

She didn't have to respond. He knew the answer. "Do me one favor?"

"What?"

"When we meet her tomorrow think about Heather. Think about what she would want."

"I will."

xxxxxx

Nathan came home after ten that night. He had hours to collect his thoughts and was ready to come home and talk rationally about the problems they were having.

The house was quiet as he walked through it looking for Jess.

She was in the living room. She had been crying and he knew something was very wrong. That wasn't the look she would have over the baby or him. Something was terribly wrong. His heart started racing.

He didn't say anything. He just came closer and waited for her to tell him.

"Grandma Dorothy called."

"Did Grandpa die?"

"No…Mom and Doug did. It was a car accident. A truck ran a red light."

He tried to console her, but she pushed him away.

"We have to go to Indiana. I'm going to call Teresa and have her take the boys."

"What can I do to help?" he asked.

"Just get ready."

"Do you want me to get the babies ready?"

"I'll do it."

xxxxx

"Assistant Director Thomas Kemyss," he answered his desk phone the next morning.

"It's Nicole. I'm having a family emergency. I can't come in."

"You too?"

"Too?"

"Jess called in ten minutes ago."

"Oh. I don't know anything about that. I have to meet with Heather's case worker."

"All right. If we have a big one I'll page you 911 and then you need to come in after the meeting."

xxxxx

Every morning Teresa would either stop by Jess's to pick up Joe and Toby and bring them over to Nicole's or Jess or Nathan would drop the boys off before work.

On that day Teresa came through Nicole's door with the boys already with her.

"Did Jess tell you why she's not going in today?" Nicole asked Teresa.

"She dropped the boys over with me on her way to the airport last night. She didn't say what was going on, but something was wrong. She looked like she'd been crying. Nathan too. I didn't want to upset them further, so I didn't ask. They told me they'd be back in four or five days."

xxxxxx

Nicole tried Jess's cell again while her and Antonio were driving to the Child Welfare office. She didn't know her efforts to call Jess were futile because Jess left her pager and cell phone at home. She got the machine again.

"No answer," Nicole said to him.

"I'm telling you it's probably nothing. We saw the boys. Teresa saw Jess and Nathan. They're all alive and well. You know they're having relationship problems. That's probably what this is about."

"But why would they go to Indiana to fix them?...No. That's not it. You don't just leave your babies with a nanny in the middle of the night, so you can leave the state because you had a fight."

"We cannot think about this right now. Our minds should be on what we are going to say to Heather's grandmother."

"We're not rehearsing anything. We're just going to go in there and talk to her honestly. Remember, we are still considering just letting her have Heather."

xxxxxx

Heather's case worker, her grandmother, and her foster parents all sat around a table.

"I want to remind everyone here that this meeting is not about you three," the social worker said. "It's about Heather and what is in her best interest."

The three nodded.

"Okay. Say what you need to say to each other."

"We love Heather very much," Nicole said. "She is doing well. We already have a school we're on the waiting list to enroll her in."

"It's the best in Maryland," Antonio said.

"I know that you love her, but I love her too. You're probably wondering where I've been all these years."

Nicole nudged Antonio to make sure he didn't dare reply to that.

"I didn't know about Heather. Growing up, my son was such a good boy. He made the Honor Roll every year until seventh grade. When he was twelve he changed. All his friends were in gangs and we were living in an area of Virginia where he couldn't find any friends who weren't involved in some kind of criminal activity. He couldn't wait to get away from my husband and I and left home when he was barely eighteen.

Eventually I moved. I wanted move long ago, but my husband didn't. After he died I came here. I didn't see my son again until he married Heather's mother and I haven't seen him since. I have a nice home now and I'm in a great community. I hear the schools are really good here too. I wouldn't dare take Heather unless I was sure I could do better for her than I did for my son."

Antonio and Nicole just looked at her and than at each other. Nicole grabbed his hand. She was hoping it would make it easier for him to say what she knew he knew he had to say.

He turned to the caseworker. "We will stop the proceedings. We won't fight her taking Heather."

xxxxxx

"I was talking to Aunt Jennifer while you were upstairs getting ready," Nathan told Jess on their way to the funeral home to pick out coffins. "The police told them Mom and Doug were killed instantly. They probably never even saw it coming."

"Police always say that. I've said that to people more times than I can remember. And I usually say it when I know the victim suffered a lot."

"Jess-"

"Just stop talking, Nathan."

xxxxx

"How did it go?" Teresa asked Nicole and Antonio.

"We've decided to terminate the adoption," Antonio said.

"Oh, I am sorry. I'm sure you want to be alone with her. Let me get the boys' things together and I will go."

Antonio went upstairs and Nicole helped Teresa get the diaper bags together. "We only have her until Saturday. Her grandmother needed an extra day to buy everything for her room. We should be back from dropping her off at three. Can you bring Joe and Toby back then?"

"Sure, but why?"

"I think having other kids in the house will help Antonio get passed losing Heather."

xxxxx

Nicole and Antonio pulled into Heather's grandma's driveway that Saturday.

"This is a very nice house, isn't it, Heather?" Nicole asked.

"Yes."

"I'll bet you will have a lot of fun here," Antonio said.

Heather's grandmother came out of the house as they were getting her out of the car.

"Heather," Nicole said, "this is your grandmother."

"Hi," Heather said smiling. She heard so many nice things about her she couldn't wait to meet her. "My name is Heather."

"I know. It's so nice to meet you. Can I have a hug?"

"Yep."

xxxxxx

Nicole and Antonio stuck around while Heather got to know her grandmother.

"And here's another toy I bought for you," her grandma said.

"Thank you."

"Would you like to go put it in your room?"

"Uh-huh."

"You're going to spoil her," Nicole said smiling as they watched her skip down the hall.

"That's the idea. I want to thank you both for not getting the courts involved in this."

"We just wanted what was best for her," Antonio said.

"You know, I have a full time job and no sitter. Do you think I could drop her off at your place in the mornings?"

"Yes." Nicole and Antonio were elated. "Thank you."

"And I don't get off until six, so you'll probably have some time with her in the afternoons."

"Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. Every child needs a mother and father."

xxxxxx

Later that day Antonio was in the family room playing on the floor with Joe and Toby.

"Having fun?" Nicole said.

"Yes."

"I didn't know Heather's grandmother would let her stay in our lives. I figured this would help."

"It does." He looked up at her. "What?"

"I also didn't know I would have a surprise for you tonight."

"What is it?"

"This." She showed him what she had behind her back.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Yes."

He got off the floor. "We're going to have a baby?"

"Yes."

When they finished laughing, screaming, and hugging they looked at the babies. The six-week-old in the rocker looked confused and the thirteen-month-old looked at them both like they were crazy.

"Soon we will have one of those here all the time," Nicole said.