A/N
Hello everyone. Thank you so much for continuing to read and review. Each review, story alert, favorite notice gives me much joy.
Thank you to the usual suspects, including orangeapeal for pre-reading and Sunshine for being my beta for this chapter.
I'm sending this chapter to you from a lovely room in Rome. A room I should be sleeping in, but I'm too jet lagged. Okay, enough about me.
I hope you enjoy…
Chapter Seventeen
Sharing Bella
.
.
The elevator pings and the doors open.
"Thanks Edward, but I have it from here."
I walk behind Alice and Bella as we head down the corridor to their apartment. With the exception of more difficult areas, like ramps and bumpy sidewalks, Alice has insisted on wheeling herself without our aid.
"I am going to have fabulous shoulders by the time strapless season comes back around." I know Alice well enough now to see through her cheerful performance. In reality, Alice is tension on wheels. I've spent the morning watching Bella's careful way, using humor and compassion to buff away Alice's sharp edges.
"The doorknob moved," Alice says in a tight voice as we approach the apartment.
"It's a new doorknob. New locks, too. It's part of the changes we made. Look how easy it is to reach."
"And you don't mind?" Alice asks.
"Why would I mind?" Bella asks as she stretches out her hand to me.
"Oh, right." I take out Alice's key ring, with the inclusion of the new key, and hand them to Bella.
Bella hands her the keys, "Here you go."
As Alice unlocks the door, Bella and I exchange nervous glances for the one-hundredth time this morning. Alice struggles to open the door and maneuver her chair into the entryway.
"May I?" I'm grateful that Alice willingly accepts my help this time.
I wheel her into the living room and cringe at the lack luster appearance of the place. Although Bella and I planned for a spectacular homecoming, our long weekend relegated us to a rushed early morning decorating session using what we found at an all night market. The apartment is filled with every flower the market had, all half-wilted. Across the living room, we used ribbon to hang a sign we made using magic markers on paper plates—Welcome Home Alice.
We ran out of paper plates before finishing the sign, so the c and e in Alice squishes together on one plate. At least each letter is adorned with Bella's colorfully drawn butterflies and flowers. We curled the remaining ribbon and taped it to the ceiling hoping it would look like streamers or the end of helium balloons, but we have no balloons. On the dining room table, we have a plate of Alice's favorite, raspberry croissants from Le Panier. It is our only success.
Standing behind the chair, I have no way to gauge Alice's reaction but through the reflection on Bella's face.
"Oh, Alice." Bella's expression melts and it doesn't take long before she is on her knees holding a crying Alice.
"You two did this for me…? You're so talented."
Although I smile, I don't think Alice even intended the irony—she's truly touched.
"I'm so happy you're home," Bella says wiping away Alice's tears with her hands. I give Alice a handkerchief and she tilts her head back, looking at me.
"Thank you, Edward."
"You're welcome. I'm glad you're home, too." I lean down and kiss her forehead.
She sniffles as she looks around. "Are those raspberry croissants?"
"Yes," Bella says bringing the plate to us. "You eat and we'll give you the grand tour." We each take a croissant, man, these are good, and continue on.
"Let's see… okay we'll start in the bathroom."
I wheel Alice in and, "Oh, no… the bathtub is gone."
"It's okay, it was a lousy little tub anyway."
"And Bella and I were talking," I interject, "I have a great bathtub, whenever you want a bath come over to my place. You can soak all day if you want."
"Thanks, Edward."
Bella shows Alice how easy it is to wheel into the shower area—it is now more of a shower area than an actual shower. I think it's pretty cool. "And look at this new shower head Alice, it's extra long…" And I'm out.
Turning bright red, I wait in the kitchen so Alice and Bella can discuss the virtues of showerheads in private.
They come into the kitchen and Alice's mouth drops in surprise. "It's a whole new kitchen. It's bigger, isn't it?"
"Yeah. Your galley kitchen was too narrow, so we had it widened. You lost a little of the dining room, but not much."
"Everything is so… short. Short counters, short cabinets… short."
"I know, isn't it great?" Bella asks.
"Great? You mean you don't mind?"
"Stop asking me if I mind." Bella opens the utility closet and points to their folded up step stool. "We can finally retire this thing. You know we couldn't reach a darn thing in this kitchen before. Now the whole place works better… for both of us."
"You know, we could have moved instead of redoing the whole apartment." Alice looks so small in that chair. Everything about her, even her voice, is contrite.
Bella kneels by her side and softly says, "I think you and I have had enough changes for one month, don't you?"
"Yeah, I do, honey… thank you."
"And look at this," Bella says more brightly, "Edward made this calendar for us."
They turn their attention to the poster-sized calendar held by magnets to the refrigerator door.
Alice examines the calendar as Bella explains. "You see… he made it all color-coded. We have down your physical therapy appointments, follow-up exams… who's taking you when and where. I'm in pink and Edward is in blue. The yellow ones are still up in the air. If we can't do it, we'll call the service your parents arranged to pick you up."
"Wow, it's a lot of carting me around." Alice says to no one in particular.
"It will be like we're in college again. We'll get to spend so much more time together."
"Okay." Alice's voice is barely as whisper.
"And Edward got you a present. It's in your bedroom."
"You got me a present? On top of all this?"
"Mm-hmm." I try to hide my excitement.
Bella wheels Alice into the bedroom and I tell her about my little gift. "I know you're going to be working from home for a while and I thought you might need a new desk. It's um… special made." I show her the features of the desk, "You see the file cabinets and drawers and whatnot are easy access… and all of the cords come up through here so they're hidden, but easy to reach. And I had them make a different set of legs, so you can have it this height now and I can change it for you later when you're no longer in the, um, wheelchair. I set it up in here, but I can set it up out in the living room or dining room if you want."
I watch while Alice runs her hand over the smooth wood. "It's a beautiful piece of furniture… Edward, come here."
I kneel down by her and try to read her wide eyes. "Is it okay?"
"Okay…?" she shakes her head and holds my face in the palm of her hand. "Edward, it's so special… You're so special. Thank you, my friend." Alice gives me a great hug; just like the ones she's been giving Bella.
"I'm glad you like it," I say, still trying to hide the full extent of my joy.
"Bella, he looks so cute right now."
"I know. That's my favorite expression… well, one of them."
"Okay, you two. Stop it." But only if you want to.
"Oh, and he blushes?"
"Yep, he blushes."
"Okay, okay, enough."
After we finish the tour, Bella tells Alice, "I almost forgot. I'm making us your favorite dinner tonight."
"You are…? Politically incorrect food?"
"Yes, I'm making you veal."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," she says kissing Bella's hand.
"I'm sorry I didn't even ask, is that alright with you, Edward?"
I have no idea what she is asking and therefore, have no idea how to respond. Is it okay that she's making a baby cow? Do I like baby cow? Yes, I do. Or, is she telling me that it is dinner for two. Is this my hint to back away now that Alice is home?
"Yeah, no problem. I have so much to do today… and tonight. Um… why don't you give me a call later? You know… after dinner."
"What?" Bella's brows shoot up.
"You have to come back for dinner." Alice says.
"Are you really too busy? I hate to be pushy… if you can't come I'll pack you a din-"
"No, no. It's okay. I can come back for dinner."
Both of their bodies relax and I'm sure mine does too.
~o~
I make it back to my condo, walk right past my office, and stagger up the stairs to my bedroom. Please Dear Lord, let me get something accomplished today. Don't let me sleep too long. I have so much reading to catch up on… people to call… papers to write…
My body hits the bed with a slight bounce and I immediately fall off to sleep.
I wake with a jolt… What time is it? Did I miss dinner? I look over to my alarm clock and see it is only 1:43. A short, but powerful, nap. My head and body still ache from the weekend. A hot shower and a pot of fresh coffee lift some of the fog.
I look over my things to do list and decide to start with returning messages.
My heart stops when I see the four most recent texts are from Bella, but I breathe relief when I see they aren't urgent.
Edward,
You just left.
Is it silly I miss you already?
Love,
Me
Edward,
Alice refusing to go
out 'in public.'
This is going to be interesting.
Love,
Me
Edward,
The idea of veal
makes me both sad
and hungry.
Love,
Me
PS-I'm crushing sedatives
into Alice's dinner. Driving
me CRAZY.
Edward,
You know I was kidding,
right? I LOVE her.
Love,
Me
I feel like a teenager with each text I read.
Dear Me,
I have no idea
who this is, but
you should know
I am off the market.
Madly in love with my
GIRLFRIEND.
Respectfully,
Edward
I adore the word 'girlfriend.' I don't know if we're too old for that word, but I like it anyway.
No more procrastination. I have other contacts to make.
I leave a message for Jasper: "Hey Jasper. Yeah, I'll explain that text later. Let me know if you're free tonight to talk, maybe get together. Give me a call."
I might not get invited to stay at Alice and Bella's after dinner. Maybe I can visit Jasper.
After listening to Carlisle's voicemails in response to yesterday's dinner cancellation, I leave him a voicemail. "Hi Carlisle, it's me. Please don't worry about it, you were right… too many untruths. I had to come clean. Things are good now. I'll see you on campus tomorrow."
Okay, one more quick look at text messages.
Edward,
You have a girlfriend?
What a lucky,
lucky girl.
Love,
That Girl
That Girl,
Starring Marlo Thomas?
-E
She responds:
Dear Phil Donahue,
You watch a lot
Of old TV on cable, don't you?
-Marlo
MT,
Old pop culture junkie.
-PD
Mr Donahue,
That is reason 146 why I love you.
-Marlo
As I sit here grinning like a fool and thinking about my next text, Bella sends another.
Edward,
Tho I want to do
this all day, you have
work to do, don't you?
Love,
Me
Me,
Didn't you mention
something about
a ruler once?
Love,
-E
E,
GET TO WORK.
So you can hurry back
over as soon
as you're done.
Love,
Me
PS-
I haven't
forgotten about
Halloween
I push myself away from my desk and do a happy dance around my office as I sing a little song: Thank you God, for Bella. Thank you God, for Bella. Thank you God, for Bella-I'm such a happy fella. I'm so glad no one can see me right now.
I catch sight of my things to do list and sit back down. Okay, help me to focus—I have three articles to read and a rough draft to edit before going back to Bella's.
~o~
"The table is set, what's next?" I clap my hands together in anticipation, hoping to get another job to do.
"Next, you get to sit here and keep us company." Bella says with Zen-like concentration as she cuts away the sharp leaves of an artichoke.
"That's it?"
"That's it."
But I want to help.
"Alice, can I help you make the salad?"
"Not a chance. I have waited over two weeks to get my hands on fresh food, the salad is mine."
"Stillness is good for the soul, Edward." Bella says as she reaches the tender heart at the center of the tough leaves.
"Are you going to put those hearts in with the veal?"
"Mmm-hmm."
"Have you ever thought of using canned artichoke hearts?"
"Sure. I'd never snub my nose at a canned heart. But this isn't an ordinary dinner. My Alice is home." Her voice is soft, musical. She never looks up while she speaks, rather, she continues her methodical, gentle way. "It's the little details that make it special."
Alice opens a drawer to search for something and, without even looking, Bella reaches for a nearby vegetable peeler and hands it to her.
"Thanks, Bella."
By watching her cook, I see the essence of Bella. Making people feel loved. Attending to their needs, knowing what they want before they ask. Requesting nothing in return. Quiet, simple, selfless love.
Bella notices my stare, looks up and gives me a shy smile. She doesn't ask what I am thinking, but I think she knows.
I wasn't home when she made my lasagna and my mind wanders to what she looked like while making my dinner.
"Alice, have you ever had Bella's lasagna?"
"It's to die for."
"I know. Bella, can I have the recipe? I'd like to make it sometime."
She smiles; I'm sure she knows my real question. Did you make it special?
"The recipe, let's see… A couple of jars of spaghetti sauce… oh, a pound of meat—whatever is on sale, a pinch of Italian seasoning, ricotta, parmesan… and be sure to use the noodles you don't have to boil first, it's a lot easier that way."
"Hmmm… sounds pretty easy. I'll whip some up for us this week."
Her smile widens and I ask, "Tell me the truth. Your own sauce?"
"Mmm-hmm," she nods and begins to blush as she continues her work with the artichokes.
"Fresh tomatoes?"
"Maybe."
"What else, tell me." Tell me how special it was. Tell me how special I am.
"Okay… let's see. Fresh herbs, never dry—rosemary and basil. A little béchamel sauce, the ricotta is creamer that way. Only Parmigiano-Reggiano…"
"Beef?"
"No. Beef, pork, and veal."
"What about the noodles."
"What about the noodles?" I love when you're being coy.
"No-boil noodles?"
She giggles and shakes her head, "No, I boiled the noodles."
"What else…?" You're holding something back.
She shrugs and turns a deeper shade of pink, "I um… made the noodles."
"You made them? From scratch?"
"Mm-hmm."
Thank you God, for Bella. Thank you God, for Bella…
I'm singing in my head as I go over and wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her temple and ear and hair… She laughs and tilts her neck to give me better access for a few more kisses, then gestures towards Alice. I stop the kisses, but still give her a long back-to-front hug before letting go.
Dinner is spectacular. My girl can cook. The artichokes taste like lemony love. I could eat a lot more, but I don't think either of them realizes my capacity for food. For the most part, I stay quiet and listen to them chat away, imagining what it would be like to grow up with sisters. They talk about shopping—a lot. Bella seems to be using a shopping trip to lure Alice out in public, insisting that she needs her help picking out new clothes.
After dinner, dishes, and coffee are finished, I wait for an invitation to stay, but it doesn't come.
I decide to pull the trigger and use my exit strategy. I stand and say, "Well, I have a bunch of errands I have to run tonight… so, ah, I guess I'm going to head out."
"You're coming back later, right?" Bella asks and I shift my eyes to Alice to gauge her reaction. She doesn't look disappointed by my invite back.
"Um… I could, sure, only if you both want me to."
They exchange glances; it's one of their wordless conversations that happen in the blink of an eye.
"Edward, sit down for a second, you're giving me a neck cramp." I sit back down. "You didn't think you were going to get the boot when I came home, did you?"
Although I want to refute this idea immediately, I'm working on my honesty. "No, I um… I know you two have… well, I'm sure you want time alone together. And I don't know how you feel about me…" I look over to Bella and feel my embarrassment rising, "about me sleeping over—sometimes, not all the time."
"Edward," Alice sighs and gives me the same maternal look she gives to Bella, "you're part of our tribe, our clan, you aren't going anywhere."
"Your tribe?"
"Yes, sweetheart, it's like a baseball team."
I laugh, "Yes, I know what a tribe is… I'm… I'm glad to be part of it."
I look over to Bella and realize she's been holding her tongue. This message needed to come from Alice.
"Good, because I was going to ask you to stay as a favor to me. I'm not used to this chair yet, and I'm a little worried I won't be able to get out of bed on my own. I'd like to have you two around if that's okay."
"Yeah, yes, of course… I knew Bella would stay here, but if you want me too, yeah, that would be… I'd like to do that."
"Thank you, Edward. It won't be forever, just until I get used to it."
"As long as you need, Alice."
"Good. That's settled," Bella says while walking over to me. She kisses the top of my head. "I'm sorry you have errands to run; Alice and I are going to start re-watching The Gilmore Girls tonight."
"The Gilmore Girls? Yes, I definitely have errands to run."
"Edward, stop pretending you're so macho. Have you ever seen The Gilmore Girls?"
"First, Ms. Brandon, I am not pretending to be macho, I am macho… Okay, both of you stop laughing."
"Sorry." I look up to see Bella is biting her lip. Great, my girlfriend doesn't think I'm macho. After this weekend, I shouldn't be surprised.
"And second, I didn't watch The Gilmore Girls because I watch sports… ESPN…"
"Because you're macho?" Alice teases.
"Yes, because I am macho."
"Okay macho man," Bella gives me another kiss on my head, "no Gilmore Girls for you."
I get up and grab my keys. "Do you two need anything while I'm out?"
They exchange hopeful glances and Bella asks, "Ice cream?" Yea! My girl is eating.
"Sure, what flavor?"
"Um… anything would be fine… whatever you choose." I think I'm finally able tell when Bella's holding something back.
"Oh, okay, anything? So… plain chocolate or plain vanilla?" Her expression is pained.
"Um, yeah, those would be okay."
"Bella is lying," Alice interjects, "anything but chocolate would be fine, Edward."
"Neither of you likes chocolate?"
"No, we both love chocolate, we just don't like chocolate ice cream," Alice clarifies.
"Okay, so no ice cream with chocolate." I can work with this.
"No, no, no. We love chocolate in ice cream, we just don't like chocolate ice cream. In fact, we like ice cream with lots of stuff in it, including chocolate." Bella says.
"What kind of stuff?"
"You know, nuts, chocolate, cookies… salty sweet is always good." Alice says.
"You know, like pretzels and caramel," Bella says.
"But not just fruit," Alice says and Bella nods.
"No fruit?"
"No, we like fruit, but not if it's just fruit; it needs other things, too." I'm tying to follow, as Alice continues, "To be honest, I like just fruit… like black raspberry for example, but Bella only likes fruit if there's something else with it."
I think this was on the GRE.
"Okay, I think I've got it." I start to head out.
"Do you want us to write all of this down?" Alice asks.
"Nope," I tap my head, "it's all up here." Wait… Do you really like my vanilla milkshakes, Bella? "What about plain vanilla?"
They both sigh. Uh-oh. Alice is the first to speak, "Look, we don't want to bore you with our whole philosophy on plain vanilla, but let's just say if it's plain vanilla, with nothing else in it, it should be vanilla bean."
"The little black specs?" They both nod. "If it has other stuff it doesn't need the bean, but if it doesn't, the bean is the stuff?"
"Exactly!" Alice looks proudly at me.
"Really Edward, get us any flavor you want," Bella smiles.
"Okay, plain chocolate it is," I say, heading for the door.
"Get out of here," Alice laughs.
"Wait." Bella runs over to meet me at the door and stands on her toes; I bend down so she can whisper in my ear, "Do you feel like we're using you?"
"Yes," I whisper back to kid her, but she's too gullible to continue. "I'm teasing. Even if I did, it would make me happy."
"I like your vanilla milkshakes even without the bean."
I narrow my eyes at her. "How did you know?"
"I know you better than you think." Her expression changes, "Well, at least I thought I did."
"What do you mean?"
"Did you really believe I'd push you out when Alice came home?" I hear the hint of disappointment in her voice. If the roles were reversed, I'd feel the same.
I give her question serious consideration, "No… I guess not, deep down."
"Okay. Keep listening to the deep down," she says running her finger over my abdomen. I consider dumping my pretend errands to stay, but then I'd have to confess to the fib.
"I will."
"I love you, Edward Masen."
"Thanks, Isabella Swan." I wait for her to squirm for just a second before saying, "Oh, yeah, I love you too."
She slaps on the arm, "Get out of here."
"See you later." I give her a swift kiss and call out, "Bye Alice."
"Bye, honey."
As quickly as I can, I head downstairs and jump into my car. I take out the small notebook I keep in my glove box for emergency things to do lists and write down all of the ice cream requirements.
Now what? Call Jasper.
~0~
"Hi Edward."
"Hey, Riley. How are you doing?" I head to my typical seat on the far end of the bar.
"Terrific, as always. Black and Tan?"
"No. Not tonight, just a Coke."
"I thought you looked a little hung over."
"Still?"
"A little. A bartender always knows." He leans in and inspects my face. "Let me guess, Jameson?"
"You have a gift," I sigh. He ignores my order and instead pours a ginger ale.
"Just one hair of the dog," he says as he adds a small splash of Jameson.
"Thanks." I roll my neck around in a slow circle and take out my notebook while I wait for Jasper.
The first list is titled, "Bella's Therapist Needs." I brainstorm the list, then go back and add numbers to prioritize:
1-PTSD
4-Eating Disorders
6-Divorce
5-Body Dysmorphic Disorder (possibly?)
3-Emotional abuse/romantic relationships
2-Bereavement
The Ginger and Jameson is half gone and I'm already feeling like a new man. I start my second list, "Edward's Things to Do List October-18-2010:"
-Be more macho.
-Let Bella do things for you.
-Don't get sad when Bella and Alice need girl time.
-Ask if you can turn on ESPN so they know how macho you are.
-Have boy time with Jasper.
-Introduce Jasper to Alice.
-Have boy and girl time with Jasper, Alice, and Bella.
-Propose marriage at Christmas, engagement one year.
Maybe New Year's Eve will be more romantic. We'll always have something to celebrate. I think that over. Too soon?
-Propose marriage this summer—at a baseball game-engagement six months.
How long does it take to plan a wedding? Will Bella want another big wedding? Probably not. What will Bella want…?
-Don't get mad when Bella wants to keep her own name.
That's going to be hard. I start to doodle different names in the margins, but they quickly fill the page:
Mrs. Isabella Marie Masen Swan
Dr. Edward Masen and Ms. Bella Swan Masen
Rev. and Mrs. Edward and Bella Masen, Esqu
Dr. Rev and Ms. Edward and Isabella Swan Masen
My head hurts at the number of possibilities
Mr. Edward Swan
I draw a line through that one.
Dr. and Mrs. Edward and Bella Masen
"Don't let me interrupt you."
"Oh, hey, Jasper." I flip the page of my notebook, wondering how long he's been there.
"Hi Jasper." Riley greets Jasper and refills my ginger ale.
"Hi Riley."
"Manhattan?"
"Yes, thanks." Jasper loosens his tie and unbuttons the top button of his shirt; he looks beat.
"Did you have a session this late?"
"No. I came from the hospital, I had to admit one of my clients."
"I'm sorry, Jasper."
"Thanks. He stopped taking his meds and he…" Riley returns with his drink and Jasper stops his story. I watch Jasper down half the Manhattan in one swallow. He shrugs, "Well, you know… what can you do?"
Jasper was born to be a therapist—his gift for reading people's emotions astounds me. But under that cool exterior, he absorbs too much. God, please protect Jasper.
"So," he gives me a firm slap on the back, "you are fucked?" He repeats my text message back to me. "Sounds like you two had an interesting weekend." I don't want to burden him.
"Yeah, you know… things are better between us now. We can talk about it another time."
"Come on, Edward," Jasper grips me between my neck and shoulder, "let me feel useful." There is a need in his voice that I can't ignore. "Did she hit a wall this week?"
"Yes, she did. She had a fucking crazy nightmare Saturday night and just… lost it."
"Really? Has she been having nightmares since she came back?"
"No. Only one."
"Anything strange happen that day?"
"Well… her father came to Seattle for a visit…" I look into his clear blue eyes and start to stammer, "and um… and…"
"And?"
"And I was a total dick to her that night," I confess.
"Really…? Were you really being a dick or are you just being hard on yourself?"
"No," I grumble, "I was a dick." Jasper nods and I slide him the paper with Bella's list on it, "Here, this is for you."
He opens the folded paper. "PTSD? Body Dysmorphic Disorder…? What is this?"
"I'm not sure about the Dysmorphic Disorder, but it's a list of things her therapist needs to specialize in."
Sliding the paper back to me he says, "Thanks, but I think this should come from Bella."
"She's going to call this week and make an appointment."
"She already did."
"She did?" Why didn't she tell me?
"Ahhh…yes. She made an appointment with my secretary and I called back to check in."
"So… so you talked to her? How did she sound?"
"Fine. Good. We're meeting Wednesday morning," he says warily as he finishes his drink.
"Did she cry?"
"Edward, stop. You know I can't talk to you about anything we discuss."
"What time did she call?"
Jasper lets out a long sigh and gives in. "She called late, around 4:30. She sounded good, a little nervous but, but no more than what would be expected. Satisfied?"
We haven't been alone since then—only enough to have that quick conversation in the doorway-maybe that's why she didn't tell me.
"I think I should go to her appointment with her."
"What?"
"You know, in case she forgets to tell you something."
"Edward, don't do this to yourself…" Jasper slaps my back again and squeezes my shoulder. "You gave her the little push she needed, now let her do this on her own."
Did she tell him I gave her the little push? My mind begins to go wild with possible topics of conversation they might have had.
"Maybe I should have one of my partners take the appointment."
"No. No, please. I trust you; I want you to do it. I'll be… I'll back off."
He finishes his drink and nods. "So, are you ready to lose fantasy football to me again this season?"
We stare at each for a moment; he wills me to let the topic change without any more argument and I give in. "Don't be too sure of yourself, I have a much better team this year. You got lucky with Aaron Rodgers last year…"
Without asking, Molly brings out two bowls of their Irish stew for us while Jasper and I argue about changing the point system of our league next year. After an hour and a few Manhattans for Jasper, we decide to call it a night. I offer Jasper a ride home and he gratefully accepts.
"I have to hit the head, be right back," I tell him and go to the bathroom.
I text Bella:
Heading back soon.
I forget, was I supposed
to bring something with me?
-E
An immediate response, boy she texts fast:
Macho Man-
Don't tease when it comes to ice cream.
Looking forward to talking later.
I called Jasper today.
-B
Yes! I fist pump right there at the urinal. I'm glad the place is empty. I knew she'd tell me.
I practically run back out to Jasper, I'm so eager to see her. "Ready to go?"
"No… sorry, I have to go now," he cocks his head towards the bathroom.
I sit down to finish the last of my ginger ale as I wait.
"Hi there." Oh, fuck. It's her—the red head scary lady and she's talking to me. Before I can respond, she's sitting on Jasper's empty stool. When did she get here? My heart begins to thump and I'm sure the whole bar can hear.
"Aren't you going to say hi? It's only polite to return someone's greeting." Her voice is deep, thick with sin.
I try to pitch my voice low to counter the high sound I fear I will come from my mouth, "Hello." Good, that sounded deep. Please God, make Jasper hurry up. I try not to look at her lips, eyes, hair… She's wearing lots of gauzy layers of clothes and sparkly things, I'm sure all intended to hypnotize.
"You and your friend are alone tonight." It's not really a question.
"Yes." Still sounding deep, good. I'm beginning to sweat. Why why why does she make me sweat?
"And where's your little girlfriend?" She saw? She remembered. There's an unfamiliar mix of feelings—but mostly, there's anger—'little girlfriend?' I don't like the word on her lips.
"My partner is home." Yeah. I bet Bella would like the word partner.
"Oh," she mocks my indignation, "is that how you like it? She stays home and you go out with the boys?"
I feel my face getting hot.
"Oooh, someone is angry with me." Her voice is sweet but her smile is wicked. She reaches up to touch my clenched jaw and I jerk way, showing my weakness. "Aww, don't be scared of me. I don't bite… much."
"I'm not scared of you." And I'm not. I'm not because I live in a bubble of love... Okay, maybe I'm a little scared. I stand and go for my wallet while she scans my body and face with her feline eyes.
"Yes you are," she breathes to herself. "If you were mine, I'd keep you on a very tight leash." Lucifer takes the stirrer from my ginger ale and chews on the end with her plump-lipped mouth.
"Good thing I'm not yours. I don't like leashes. We wouldn't pair well." And, yes, I know what you meant by leash.
"So what do you like?"
Bella and Jasper and Jesus…
"Wait don't tell me… you like mousy little girls who make you feel tough and strong."
It's like a punch in the gut. "Excuse me?" Horrible come back.
"I'm sorry, that was mean. I only tease you because I like you… Edward."
Edward? FuckFuckFuck. I finally notice that the figure standing behind her is Jasper, gaping at me. I reach into my wallet and pull out the crispest bill I can feel, hoping it's a hundred, and throw it on the bar.
"And I think you like me, too."
"No, I'm sorry. Forgive my manners, but that is where you are wrong, so, very, very, wrong. I am going home now." I can't manage the stinging insult I want, but at least my voice sounds as cold as I feel.
Before I know it, Jasper is ushering me out of the bar. "Was it a hundred?" I whisper.
"Yes, keep moving."
Her voice hits me on the back of my head, "What a waste." I freeze, but Jasper's hand on my back pushes me forward.
"Fuck," I say as soon as we're out of the bar. I rush to my car as if she's going to come after us.
A million better comebacks and insults fill my mind as we drive to Jasper's. "'My girlfriend… my girlfriend is waiting for me all right… she's waiting for me tied up, spread eagle on my bed. That is how we like it.' That's what I should have said."
"Nooo you shouldn't have. Edward, slow down, put on your seatbelt."
"You should put on your seatbelt."
"It's already on."
"Oh." Even drunk, Jasper is more rational than I.
"Why, Jasper? Why do women still scare the shit out of me?"
"Women don't scare the shit out of you. That woman scares the shit out of you, and for good reason. She would scare the shit out of Genghis Khan."
"Did she scare you?"
"Not a good comparison. I have much more experience than you."
"So, you're stronger than Genghis Khan?"
"When it comes to women…" His voice trails off and he shrugs.
I pull up to his condo and I'm no longer thinking about the scary lady; I'm thinking about Jasper and how I'm going home to Bella and he, like me for so many years, is going home alone.
"Hey, Jasper, do you want to… I don't know, go out for another drink or," she'll kill me for this but, "come over to Bella's with me?"
"No, I'm good, thanks buddy," he says wearily as he puts his hand on my shoulder. "I want to get to the hospital first thing in the morning."
"Okay. Don't forget to check your calendar for Wednesday." He looks confused. "Remember… Alice… lunch."
"Right, right," he waves his hand dismissively, "lunch… Alice. Give me a call tomorrow to remind me."
"I will. Take it easy."
"You too, Edward."
Jasper ambles into his building, tie in one hand, briefcase in the other. Hi God, ready for operation matchmaker?
~o~
I place my bag of goodies on the kitchen counter. Seeing Bella again obscures any darkness from earlier tonight.
"What did you get?" Alice calls from her position stretched out on the living room couch.
"All sorts of good stuff." Bella says as she takes each item out of the bag. I watch, hopeful. "Bacon and eggs, good bagels…"
"You two made dinner, I'll make breakfast."
"He got Chunky Monkey…"
"Ooh. Good choice. Fruit, chocolate and nuts," Alice calls out.
"Peanut butter cup…"
"Thank God. We realized you left without us mentioning peanut butter."
"I figured it falls under salty sweet."
"You have a smart man there, Bella."
"And he got a bag of pretzels."
"Good for dipping," Alice says.
"Some fancy-schmancy gelato brand I never heard of… black raspberry."
"Aww thank you, Edward."
"And a vanilla bean."
"What brand?"
"No, not vanilla bean ice cream… just a vanilla bean."
"Paula Dean taught me how to get the specs out."
"You went overboard Edward, you really shouldn't have." Bella says and gives me a sweet kiss.
I take out three bowls and ask, "What kind would you like, Alice?"
"What do you mean?" They both start to giggle.
"We mix," Bella says. I guess I still have a lot to learn.
"Go sit down, Edward. I'll make the ice cream. Do you want one kind?"
"No, I'll have what you're having."
After ice cream, the nightly news, and one check of the scores on ESPN, Alice announces, "Kids, mama needs to go to bed." Bella and I go to Alice. "Bella, can you hold the chair and Edward, I'm going to do this on my own, but I'd like you to spot me."
"Sure, I'm right here."
Bella moves the chair up to the couch as Alice pulls herself up to a sitting position. Watching her struggle makes me want to pick her up and carry her to bed, but I refrain. She moves her hips until they are at the end of the couch, reaches back to the chair and begins to pull herself onto the chair seat. She almost makes it when, "Damn it," her hands slips and I catch her.
"I got you." I pull her onto the chair.
Alice finally snaps. "Getting in and out of this fucking chair is the first thing they taught me at the hospital and I still can't do it right."
"Stop that," Bella sits on the couch in front of her and I step away. "You're home... You are out of that hospital bed. You are out of that brace and you are mobile. I know you are frustrated, but you never let yourself have a learning curve. Look at all you did today… you unpacked, set up your office, did laundry, took a shower, rearranged the kitchen cabinets … Alice, you've been running around all day…"
"I can't run…"
"Okay, you know what I mean… smart ass. Alice, be a little easier on yourself. Please. Give yourself some time to get used to this, alright?"
Alice nods and looks at Bella with doleful eyes. "My arms are really sore."
"I bet they are. Will you let me wheel you into your bedroom?"
"Yes."
Bella starts to push the wheelchair; when I follow, she stops me and subtly shakes her head.
For a few minutes, I stand outside the door incase I'm needed. I eventually give up and wash the ice cream bowls and wipe down the kitchen counter.
Bella comes back out of Alice's bedroom looking exhausted and asks, "Do you want to say good night?"
I go in to find Alice in her pajamas tucked snugly into bed with her turtle. Bella's doing, no doubt. "Hey, how does it feel to be back in your own bed?"
"Mmm. So good. Bella tried to get me to nap today, but I was a hard head."
"You, a hard head? Get out."
"Yes, a hard head. Well, maybe even an ass. Be extra sweet to her tonight, okay?"
"Okay."
"I'll be extra sweet to her tomorrow."
"Good idea."
"Edward, thanks for being here."
"I didn't do anything."
"Yes you did, you always do."
I move her bangs away from her eyes. "Alice, I'm signed up to take you to PT on Wednesday morning. How about we go to lunch afterward?"
"You mean in public?"
"Yes, public." She stares at me for a while. I can almost see her convincing herself she's up for the challenge. When she gives a small nod, I push it one step further. "Maybe we can meet up with Bella and my friend Jasper."
"Oh, Edward… no, I'm sorry. I've been thinking about this whole set up thing. I'm really not ready. I think we should wait until I'm out of this chair."
"Hmm. Why is that? Because I would have a dickhead for a best friend? Because you are less charming and witty in the chair than you are out of it?"
"No," she rolls her eyes, "I'm still great."
"Then what are you afraid of?"
Alice's voice turns serious again. "He sounds like a really good guy… and I haven't met one of them in a long time. What if… what if he's the right guy, but it's the wrong time."
"It's not… And, I don't know, maybe I've built this up too much. You don't have to marry the guy; let's all just have lunch together. No big deal. Bella and I want our best buddies to know each other, that's all, okay?"
"Okay," she whispers.
"Good." I lean in and give her a kiss on her forehead. "Good night, Alice."
"Good night, Edward. Don't forget to say your prayers."
"I won't."
Operation match maker in effect. Thanks, God.
I close the door behind me. Finally, time alone with my girlfriend. I find Bella sitting on the kitchen counter with her head hung low. She looks like she could be asleep.
I stand between her legs. "Did you get to nap today?"
"No."
"Sounds like a rough day." She gives me a sleepy nod. "Shuffy shuffy?" She nods again, eyes closed. "Wrap."
Bella wraps her arms and legs around my torso and I carry her to our bedroom as she mumbles on my neck, "I can walk."
"I know, Bella."
I strip down to my boxer briefs and help half-asleep Bella pull on her t-shirt. I guide her into bed, curl myself around her, and blow in her ear.
"Out, out bad dreams."
Within seconds, Bella begins to purr.
"I talked to Jasper today," she murmurs, surprising me.
"I know, how did it go?"
"I'm sorry no hanky-panky."
"It's okay."
"I'm sorry I don't have pretty things to sleep in."
I realize she's talking in her sleep. I take it as a gift.
"I'm sorry I'm too scared…"
I wait, but she doesn't continue.
"Too scared for what, Bella? "
"Oral."
"Shhh. It's okay. No more sorry… happy thoughts."
"Alice came home… I love Alice… I love Edward Masen."
"Edward Masen loves you."
"Mmm." I peer over her shoulder to see her smile in her sleep, a heavenly sight.
I kiss her temple. "Sleep my Bella."
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You now have my lasagna recipe—which I learned during another trip to Italy a few years ago. If you follow me on twitter, you'll see pics of my European travels with my pocket Saintward. Yes, I am a grown woman carrying around an Edward doll with wings attached. Not normal.
So, Alice and Jasper meet next chappie… do you think they'll like each other? Is that a stupid question?
I'd love to know what you think.
Ciao, Bellas!