Chapter Five: Seeing Double
" Memories bring no joy or peace
we are alone and all we need..
I'll lead you into love and regret
you have the answers
I have the key"
"Roxas Strife! We have a search warrant, you're under arrest!"
I can't evaluate any way to get out of my situation. Do I give up or give in? Do I run from this- the fear that's building like plaque in my veins and making my whole world swim?
I know I'm not guilty but I need to run. I need to run and get as far away as I can. I need to escape and if I don't I feel like I might explode- better yet implode. It'll start with these incessant butterflies that are pounding against the walls of my stomach.
"Roxas Strife! Exit the building with your hands up! You're under arrest!"
There's another voice, feminine- but still as harsh as the first. I try to swallow to clear my pallet and to just clear my thoughts. Everything is tensing to the point where I couldn't move if I wanted to, heart clenching desperately- too much blood, too much blood.
I want to vomit but I can't because it'll give me away. I hold my breath and take clumsy steps backwards, nearly falling over the sink. The door opens and I'm left staring at sets of police uniforms and handguns. The handcuffs come out from the woman's hands and like a strike of lighting she's over me, forcing my hands behind my back and pushing my head downwards into the still wet sink. I can't catch anything except the feeling of porcelain against flesh, the taste of metal building in my mouth- too much blood, too much blood.
"You have the right to remain silent," Her voice is high pitched and hurried. She's pulling me upwards along with her partner who refuses to let go of my handcuffed arms. "Anything you say or do can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?"
I'm being shoved from the hall now. I can barely register what the woman is saying to me but she's yelling it and making herself loud and clear. I choose to remain silent- I can't think of anything to say. Nothing I can say would make any sense.
"Do you understand, Mister Strife?" Her voice holds a toxic edge that makes the desire to run skyrocket. Even though she had asked me a question, her displeased tone made it hard to believe it was one. I nod, close my eyes and try to imagine I'm elsewhere. "Luxord, tell the others to check the bathroom."
I want to groan because the police officer talks over me like I'm not even there to her associate. I literally have to bite my tongue to choke out the screaming I want to do and all of the things I want to say in this moment, such as 'where the fuck is Axel' and 'where are you taking me' but I know. I know exactly where I'm going and I'm horrified. As the air changes from familiar to damp I know we've stepped outside. The woman is the only one beside me now, hand linked around my arm like we're fifth graders. She's yelling out to a man standing beside a cop car, waving her free hand. I'm thinking about so much at the same time that I'm thinking about nothing. My mind is clear and full of white noise, blurring and winding and winding. I open my mouth a couple of times but my voice won't come out. The sirens wail from the cop cars, roaring so that the whole street can wonder what's happening, so my neighbors can wake up and watch me get shoved into this tight car, hands knotted uncomfortably behind my back, shoulders aching. The blonde opens the side door, shoves my head down and pushes me inside like she's packing some kind of bread. I can't make out who's in front of the grate that's blocking me from seeing the front of the car but I can see all of the people on the front yard now. There has to be at least ten, let alone the amount of people still inside, looking through all my possessions...
I shuffle in the back of the car, adverting my eyes from the red and blue lights casting themselves on my lawn. I sigh and watch the alleyways. It isn't long until I'm leaving, the engine is rumbling calmly underneath me.
Just as the female officer slips into the front and we start to pull out, I notice bright red far in the alley across the street, shrinking and getting darker, moving farther away and closer to the main part of town.
Axel.
"I'm your friend," The blonde officer chirps, façade completely different than when I'd first saw her. She lays her navy hat onto the wooden table; eyes bright and wide awake even at this early hour. Her hair is slicked backwards, two stray pieces betraying and licking upwards. "Roxas, right?" I know she knows my name of by heart but I nod anyways. "We're going to ask you a couple questions, is that okay?"
She's talking to my like one would talk to a puppy, or a first grader. I nod again, adding a 'sure', rolling my wrist so that my bondaged arm doesn't ache as much. I feel claustrophobic so close to this woman in this tiny room surrounded by glass mirrors- where I can see me and so can everyone else. The only light strains through a hanging lamp with an old uv light bulb. It makes me queasy to look at, but I think I just might be queasy in general.
"How old are you?"
I know what she's doing but I don't let on. She's trying to set up a base for my reactions, the truth and the lies. By asking me stupid questions she clearly knows the answers to, she'll be able to gauge just what kind of note she's struck when she asks the tough questions like : Did you really kill your mother?
"Nineteen." Just old enough to go to real jail.
"Okay," She's drumming her acrylic nails against the wood of the table, "Do you go to school?"
"No," I stare at a point in the mirror, directly into my own eyes instead of the woman's face. "I work at the Clocktower."
"Oh, what a nice restaurant," She beams, sharper canines than I'd expected. I keep trying to see through her but she catches my attention. The lack of concrete sleep is finally getting to me. "I go there all the time. What do you do when you're not working?"
"I like to draw and write."
"How quaint," She giggles fakely like the preschooler she's treating me like and adds, "you can call me Constable Larxene, okay?"
"Okay."
"What are your friends like?"
"I don't hang around with people much; I'm too busy with my job." That's a half lie. I have the feeling that if Axel fled I shouldn't bring him up.
"Do you have a lawyer?" She's gazing at her perfectly gelled nails now, obviously bored that none of the 'simple' questions she's asking me are eliciting any kind of interesting answers.
"Yes." I reply, drawing my chained hand upwards to brush my bangs from my face without realizing it's locked in place. It makes a loud scrape noise and I just let my arm go loose again helplessly.
She hands me a cell phone to my free hand. The time is officially five fifty five. I would normally laugh at that kind of coincidence, but instead I frantically dial Axel's cell phone number, praying with all my heart. I don't know what I'm doing here and I have no idea what I'm supposed to say aside from what Axel has explained to me through phone calls in passing about his job.
The dial tone is the worst thing. I worry that he could have left his phone at my house, and I could end up on the line with another officer, like Luxord or the burly men that had forced me out of the house.
The second dial tone sounds.
I close my eyes and tilt my head upwards, suppressing tears. I need Axel here, beside me. I don't care about his professional record, his 100% winning streak of every case he's fought, 'all ten'. I just want that idiot redhead beside me to hold my hand and to pretend like nothings wrong. I want to hear his laugh and to have him take care of me like I'm something precious and worthy and lovely.
The third dial tone sounds.
I try to bring my other hand to my face but its still chained. I lay my head on the table and wait, wait and hope with all belief that if I stay on the line that Axel's going to pick up. He's going to pick up and he'll say Heya kiddo and I'll say Hey dumbass and he'll drive up in his pickup and tell everyone that it was just a big misunderstanding and we'll head back to my house and curl up in the same bed and be close and I'll go to sleep, I promise I'll go to sleep.
"Axel," A familiar voice whispers over the small speaker of the phone.
"Axel? It's Roxas." I want to tell him everything but I assume he knows – he always knows. He cuts me off before I can continue.
"Oh, Roxas Strife, right?" His voice sounds strange and milkier. I can hear his counterfeit smile through his voice. "Do you require my assistance, your brother called me earlier today, I believe?"
"Yeah, I need a lawyer to back me up here, I'm at the police station here in town," I know Axel knows what I'm talking about but I'm shocked that he's pretending he has no clue who the hell I am. "I figured you'd be the best one to ask."
"Well of course I'll help you out, I'll need a flat rate of two hundred fifty an hour, got it memorized?" He's convincing me that he's not him. I don't know where this is coming from and it's driving me crazy. "I'll come up to the station so we can discuss your rights and we can figure out what charges are being laid on you exactly."
Larxene left as some point in the conversation but I'm nervous to let anything slip so I just tell Axel okay and try to make my hands stop shaking.
"Don't worry about it kiddo, it'll be okay," I hear Axel's voice, my Axel over the line, "I have a 100% success rate. I'm not about to lose a case now."
With that his voice breaks even to static and the pitch drops to a low droning note. I know he's gone. I lay the phone on the table and just contemplate things I'd never had a chance to before and realize how much I'd taken for granted, including Axel himself.
"The reason you're here," Axel begins, back straight and words cutting even straighter. "Is because they see you as the prime suspect- seeing as there were no other suspects identified, there is what appears to be your fingerprints on the presumed murder weapons and canoe used to drag Miss Rosa Strife to the middle of the lake. You have no solid alibi and multiple witnesses so far have pointed the finger at you," He leans against the slick table, the saturated light blooming with his hair like the strands were a watercolor itself. "We also have a motive- you're in her will, and you're getting a really decent amount of money. Taking into account where you live, where you work and what you're doing with your life, it leads the majority of the officials here believing you are guilty. They're just taking precautions with you because one particular witness has told us about a streak you have. "
"What are you even talking about-"
"We'll get to that later." He gazes at his papers from his open briefcase that is spread out haphazardly onto the table. "They think you're the murderer and the majority of people here are ready and willing to send you to court and incarceration. Even though you look like you're young, you're going to end up in jail due to your age. You're aware of that, correct?"
It's bothering me so much with how professional Axel is being. I want to hit him, I want to scream and I want to run away. The feeling of loose blood is swelling within me and the butterflies grow in numbers. Black threatens my vision. I feel like I don't exist, like me and Axel don't exist.
"Yeah," I find myself saying weakly, the only thing keeping me holding my upright position being my cuffed wrist.
"I'm not going to give you any kind of shit though," Axel looks at me now, my Axel shining through. He's coming to the end of his speech, the end of the words that he spouts out to all of his customers, to all of his mock clients and preparation interviews. "I just need you to come clean and tell me: Are you guilty or not guilty?"
He waits for a few moments for dramatic effect. I wonder for a moment why he's asking the question- he knows I'm not. I can't understand his game and I can't get into his head. I wonder briefly if he's just fucking with me, if this is another level of torture he can string me through like the grasp he has over my heart. I tell myself I'm being irrational but I can't shake the feeling. The persona he's playing up seems just too real.
"I'm not guilty." I reply, trying to get green eyes to connect with mine. They don't.
"You're sure?"
"I would never kill my own mother. I loved her so much."
"Last chance, kiddo. If you're guilty and don't tell me now, we're going to be fighting a losing battle."
"I didn't kill my mother."
I notice how Axel's pacing around the room now, holding his paper in his hands with his face directed down at them. His eyes keep darting to the glass single sided windows, he'll look for a moment, take a step. Is he looking for a blind spot? The tape on the table is still spinning. Whoever is staring at us from the other side can hear everything I'm saying, can see my face from numerous angles, see my every reaction. Each calculation is taken into detail. There are so many flaws in the system that anything can throw it off- stemming from any kind of guilt such as something as simple as guilt from skipping class, sexual arousal, and physical pain. Each sets off the scale and can cause innocent people to fail a polygraph. Simple.
Just knowing this fact caused my nerves to fry. I couldn't be nervous but that thought made me more nervous. I couldn't be attracted to Axel so that made me more attracted to Axel. The handcuffs hurt me but I couldn't let them hurt me- yet every time I made an adjustment they hurt worse.
"Okay, so whats your alibi? Anyone ask you yet?" Axel's standing in a corner now, red ink pen in one hand and molskine in the other. "It needs to be solid, we're going to have to call people."
Before I can say anything Axel speaks over me like I'd spoken an answer.
"Reno? Oh, yes, I saw you at the Clocktower, I think. I knew I recognized you from somewhere, that must be there. You served me, you're a waiter there." I don't know who the hell Reno is but I'm assuming its someone I'm supposed to know so I just say 'yes' and Axel continues. "Well, I'll just have to call Reno and make sure he can be your witness, we'll need another employee from the Clocktower as well to vouch for you."
"You can call Hayner," I mumble but I know that's exactly what Axel is thinking. From the way Hayner treated the two of us last night I'm assuming he'd back us up. Or he'd blow the cover Axel had been trying to set up all night of us being 'strangers'. I give him Hayners number and Axel dials right away. By this point it's seven o'clock and Hayner picks up as though on que. Axel's grinning like an idiot, explaining the situation like the professional he is. He pushes the speaker button:
"Oh yeah, Roxas was working here until nine the day his mother died, he left with a redhead I think?"
Axel's grin grows wider. He knew this would happen. He knew Hayner would mix up both days. I can only assume Reno's a redhead.
Axel's a genius.
"Perfect, do you have the records that he was working?"
"Yeah, I can get a copy of them if you want..."
"No, no, it's okay." Axel says a quick goodbye, we'll keep in touch, and hangs up. He kicks his feet up over the table and beams. He draws his notebook closer to his waist and begins to scrawl down numbers and what seems like the entire conversation. For all I know he could be drawing flames and unicorns. That seems more like him.
"Am I stuck here?"
"No, precautionary measure. You're the prime suspect, but if we look at this evidence it looks like they bit the bullet too fast." Axel turns the tip of his pen towards his mouth, thinking. "You'll need to do all the DNA tests, they'll take two to three hours. They'll also set you up with an officer for further contact throughout the rest of this case, seeing as you're a major suspect. If there's no significant evidence tying you to the case they can't keep you overnight."
I watch as Axel lays down his notebook. He seems to be glad that I've noticed, and he quickly flashes his eyes to the page. I read it. Give me a name of someone else.
"I think my father killed her." I admit. It came from nowhere, unannounced. I'm assuming that's what Axel meant and the way he tries to suppress his success smile tells me I'm right.
"Really? Okay, we'll get in touch with your father then. Your DNA is probably very closely linked..." He scrawls something in his notebook again, keeping a little quiet. For the first time I feel a little bit safer, having him in the room and next to me. At the same time I feel unsafe because he's acting like I'm not real, like we never existed.
Larxene makes her way through the door and looks at little shocked at Axel's presence. She looks at me in disbelief, then back at him. I can almost hear her thoughts: how could he afford him?
I smile a little because I realize this is another level to Axel's game. This disproves my motive.
Axel is a genius.
AN: Thanks again to everyone who has tracked this story or added it to their favorites .Also a big thank you to lovelessinred for the review! You seriously made my day! I always appreciate it and I really love getting them ! :$ I'm also sorry the story is a little boring. I try to make it as exciting as I can- don't worry, I've got plenty in store for you. This isn't anywhere near the end! Again, need I remind you, it's M for a reason (although that reason probably won't show itself until later chapters). Thanks for reading, if you have any input that you would like to let me know about, anything you want me to add, characters from Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy that you want me to add let me know so I can get them in here! For example, if you want Zemyx, tell me you want Zemyx. If you want Soriku, let me know. I'm not sure what to put in so I've kind of left that stuff up to the readers interpretation. I don't know how many times I can say thanks but I'm pretty sure it's not enough to express how THANKFUL I am. I love you all, and I promise I'll stop making authors notes. I just feel like I need to just tell you guys about how I feel. All of you. -this is where I would put a heart but this website always cuts them out- :) I'll try to post on a weekly basis but I can't promise that because I'm so busy with school and I have a tendency to forget about my writing projects, I have four on the go at the moment. Sorry in advance, guys!