Author's note: Just wanted to say quickly that this has been so much fun to write! I really appreciate all the feedback that I've gotten and I can't wait to write more! Enjoy.
Chapter 3: The Cracks Begin to Show
"N-no fair!" Goten spluttered as his head broke the surface of the hot bathwater, his father laughing hysterically, "I'm gonna get you!"
"Oh no you don't!" Goku replied playfully, holding Goten above the water by his arms, preventing him from splashing his father.
Goku dropped Goten back into the barrel with a splash, and as Goten re-emerged, they both broke into laughter, the cold rain hitting their heads and the hot water warming their bodies.
"You know," Goten said, putting on his thinking face, "I don't think I've ever taken a bath outside when it's raining. I like it!"
"Yeah!" Goku said, squirting his son with water, "I like it too!"
"Argh!" Goten said, covering his face as his father giggled like a little kid.
The pair had just gotten back from dropping off Trunks and it was around quarter to seven. When they arrived back home, Chichi was horrified that Goku had let Goten get soaked in the rain when they could have been home instantly using Instant Transmission. She ordered them to go warm up in a bath, afraid that her baby was going to catch pneumonia or something.
"I'm so happy you're home, daddy," Goten said with a huge smile as he waded over to his father and give him a hug, "now that you're here, I can't imagine how I ever lived without you."
"I'm happy too, son," Goku said, returning the embrace.
The two spent another ten minutes or so just relaxing in the tub, letting the hot water cleanse their bodies, occasionally one would splash the other or one would remark on the tranquility of their surroundings. They got out after Chichi had said that dinner would be ready shortly. At this, Goku positively bounded out of the tub, yanked Goten out the water by his arms, emptied the barrel, kicked out the fire underneath it, and blasted inside. Nothing got Goku moving quicker than the thought of food. Goten just laughed through all of it as his father, in the midst of his putting out the bath, threw around his body by his arms.
"Sweetie," Chichi said, sounding anxious as she looked at the clock, "it's past seven and Gohan still isn't home. I'm getting worried!"
"Relax, hun," Goku said soothingly from the table, "he'll be here soon, I promise."
"Ok," she said, sounding relieved. There was just something about that man that could make everything seem ok.
"Daddy! Daddy!" Goten called as he bounded down the stairs in his pajamas, hair still wet from the rain outside, "let's go inside, I wanna show you how good I can read now!"
"How well you can read, honey," Chichi corrected.
"Yeah, that's right, c'mon daddy!" He said, tugging at his father's shirt.
"Ok, Goten, let's go then!" Goku replied happily, catching a bright smile from his wife who always was in favor of her sons' doing anything related to academics.
Goten practically dragged his father into the den, talking a mile a minute about all the plots of every book that he'd ever read. He was especially proud of himself since he had just finished his very first chapter book all by himself—no help from his mom or brother! Goku sat down on the couch in the den as Goten got his book from the shelf across the room. After selecting a thin volume, he jumped onto his father's lap, earning an: "OOF! You're heavy!" from Goku.
"This is the book that I just finished all by myself!" Goten stated proudly, showing his father how many pages there were. Although it was only a seventy or so page title, Goku beamed at his son with pride.
"Chapter one," Goten began with defiance as he cleared his throat, "there once was a boy…"
From inside the kitchen Chichi couldn't help but smile to herself as she listened into her son's reading. He still struggled with some words, but she was so proud that he was making an effort at least and that he had done it all by himself. She giggled at the thought of what her husband's expression must be right then.
"And the boy had a magic kran—kna—kar—MOM!" Goten shouted from the other room as he stalled on a word, "how do you say the word 'k-n-a-p-s-a-c-k'?"
"You would pronounce it napsack, baby," she called back as she continued preparing dinner.
"Right, ok, so," he continued, blushing slightly at his mistake, "the boy had a magic knapsack—"
"Honey!" Goku called from the other room, interrupting Goten, "what does knapsack mean?"
Chichi started laughing out loud—of course her husband wouldn't know that.
"It's just a backpack, Goku!" She hollered back at him
"The boy had a magic knapsack that he carried with him wherever he went," Goten continued briskly.
The two finished reading a few chapters, Goten very proud of himself since he didn't make a single mistake after his early misstep—not that Goku would have been able to tell anyway. After closing the book, Goten declared that he wanted to hear a story from his father, who obliged. So Goten got comfortable in his lap as Goku prepared to tell him about his fight with Frieza on Namek.
"Ouch, daddy!" Goten squealed as he broke away from his father's face, "your beard hurts!"
"Oops! Sorry about that, Goten!" Goku said with a smile, "My beard never grew in Otherworld so I guess I'm not used to having it around!"
While his father and brother were cozy in their house reading and telling stories, Gohan was still out in the rain, with completely soaked clothing. At this point, Gohan wasn't depressed anymore—it had turned into total anger. Nothing ever went his way—never once did he catch a break. Why couldn't he have been more receptive to Videl? Why couldn't he have just gotten over his silly nerves? What's more, it was pouring. All in all, Gohan was in a foul mood, and as he raced across the sky towards home, he dreaded the inevitable chewing out that he would get from his mother, and the relentless teasing that his brother would no doubt give him. He swore at the top of his lungs, and blasted off as fast as he could.
"Man, this is good!" Goku exclaimed, overjoyed, as he stuffed his mouth to full capacity with everything that Chichi had set out in front of him, "I still can't get over how good your cooking is, after all these years!"
"Well, I'm glad it's to your taste," Chichi said, grinning at the sight of Goku's ravenous eating, "I really missed this."
"C'mon', Goten," Goku said, looking over at his son who was just poking his food moodily, "you've got to eat everything so that you get big and strong!"
"I'm not really that hungry, actually," Goten said distantly.
"Do you want me to make you something else, sweetie?" Chichi asked, sounding slightly concerned. The only time that one of her boys didn't eat was either when they were sick, or were upset about something. She feared the latter.
"No, I'm good," Goten said, heaving a big sigh, "I think I'm just gonna go to bed now."
Chichi looked at the clock, and after seeing that it was only 7:45, knew that something was up. Goten never wanted to go to bed. She looked at her husband concernedly.
"Did my story scare you, son?" Goku asked, hoping that it wasn't the case. He had tried to keep his epic tale of his encounter with Frieza as PG as he could—even so, Goten had seemed to enjoy it thoroughly. Besides, he had just fought for the fate of the world. It couldn't be that.
"No, it's not that," Goten said, shaking his head.
"Are you feeling sick?" Chichi asked, rushing over to her son to feel his temperature.
"No!" Goten said, trying to get his mother off of him.
"Well then what's the matter sweetheart?" Chichi asked tenderly, returning to her seat.
"It's just that—you see—I'm—it's only—I-I," Goten couldn't speak properly as he felt a lump forming in the back of his throat as he spoke, and he felt his eyes stinging.
"C'mon, honey," Chichi said encouragingly, "tell mommy and daddy what's wrong, we're here to help you."
Goten opened and closed his mouth, trying to form words as he wrung his hands in his lap.
"You're worried about your brother, aren't you, son?" Goku said, dropping his voice and speaking softly.
Goten felt his lip tremble as he nodded silently, still pulling his fingers.
"What are you worried about?" Goku asked as he put down his silverware, noticing his son getting upset, "he'll be here any minute now, you know?"
"I-I'ts not that," Goten said, suppressing a sniffle and doing his best not to cry, "I-I'm j-just afraid of what h-he'll d-do when he gets back."
"Why are you afraid, son?" Goku said as he slid across the bench and put his hand on Goten's shoulder.
"B-because," Goten said with another sniffle as a single tear rolled down his cheek, "he's g-gonna be mad at m-me for making f-fun of h-him."
"No he's not," Chichi said, getting up from her chair and walking over to Goten.
"Yeah, I'll bet he's forgotten all about it by now," Goku said kindly, rubbing his son's back soothingly.
"N-no he h-hasn't!" Goten cried, throwing his head into his father's chest, having lost his battle with his emotions, "I was so m-mean to him this m-morning, and I m-made him l-eave! I-It's all m-my f-fault!"
"Goten, I told you it's not your fault," Goku said, patting his son on his back as he cried into his shirt, "Gohan is just changing right now—he's very confused and he doesn't know what he's doing. He won't be mad at you either—he loves you more than the world."
"R-really?" Goten stuttered, sniffing.
"Yeah, really, I promise," Goku, said looking at Chichi to reassure Goten.
"That's right, sweetie," Chichi added, "You are Gohan's baby brother—he will always love you no matter what."
This reassurance calmed Goten down, who still was sitting with his head resting on his father's shoulder. His sniffles had stopped, and Chichi had cleared away the plates, and now Goku and his boy were gazing out of the window, just looking at the rain falling.
The two had been sitting there for maybe twenty minutes, and Goten was just starting to get drowsy as he felt himself losing consciousness, when the front door banged open, and in walked Gohan—dripping wet, and looking furious.
"Hey there son," Goku said, cheerily as he felt Goten hide his head in his father's chest, trying to avoid his brother's gaze, "how was your day out?"
Gohan didn't respond, and he didn't even look at his family, he just took off his shoes and ran upstairs. Goku looked at Chichi, who looked genuinely scared, and Goku could feel Goten quaking in his lap. This had to end right now. Goku got up and sat his son down on the couch as he walked towards the staircase.
"I'm gonna go see if he wants any dinner," Goku said casually to Chichi, but throwing her a meaningful look. Goku knew that Gohan didn't want any dinner, and what's more, Goku knew that he wasn't going upstairs to talk to him about that, "Why don't you go up to bed Goten, you look tired, son."
"Mmhm," Goten said, his voice trembling as he ran over to his mother and held onto her hand.
Goku waited for Chichi to go into Goten's room with him before knocking on Gohan's door, waiting for the response that he knew wouldn't come.
"Hey, Gohan," he said, feigning brightness, "you want some dinner?"
Silence. Goku knocked again.
"You've got to be hungry, you always are!"
"Leave me alone" Gohan said menacingly.
"What's going on, son? How was your day out with Videl?" Goku asked as he pushed the door open.
"I said leave me ALONE!" Gohan shouted, throwing a pillow at the door, which Goku caught.
"Gohan! Calm down!" he said strongly, "I just want to talk!"
"Father! Get out!" Gohan shot back, springing up from his bed on which he had been lying.
"I'm not leaving until we've talked this through." Goku said calmly, but with power behind his words.
"Fine! Then I'll leave," Gohan said with a smirk as he opened the giant window in his room and flew out.
"Oh no you don't!" Goku shouted after him, following Gohan out the window, landing on the soggy grass as he walked a few feet behind his son, "Why are you running away from me? Huh? What are you afraid of? This isn't what you used to do, son. This isn't the son that I knew seven years ago. The Gohan I knew would never run away from his fears or problems—he would always face them head on, and here you are now, fleeing like a coward."
"What do I have to do to get you to leave me alone?" Gohan bellowed, still walking away from his dad, rain pounding his clothing. He felt his anger boiling over; pretty soon he wouldn't be able to control himself.
"Is that all you've got to say for yourself?" Goku taunted, still following his son at a close distance, "Are you just gonna run away like a scaredy-cat? I thought you were strong! I thought you had become a man! But it's clear to me now that you're no more a man than your little baby brother—at least he's got the courage to admit his fears and face them!"
Gohan snapped. He threw his right fist at his father's face with all his might—he only wanted to see Goku on the floor. Goku, finally getting what he had wanted, easily intercepted his son's punch, and held his fist firm, preventing him from drawing it back again. This just angered Gohan more, who threw his left fist now with more force behind it. Goku, again, saw this coming as he caught it a few inches away from his face. Now Goku had both of Gohan's fists held tight, and he stared directly into Gohan's black eyes—into his soul. Gohan continued to struggle for a while, teeth clenched as he tried to free his hands from his father's grasp, but he could not. The two of them just stood there, face to face, father to son, with the rain pouring down around them. Goku just stared at his son, waiting for him to crack, and after about two minutes of intense struggling, he did.
Goku felt his son's arms go slack in his as Gohan's fierce countenance broke, and the urge to fight left his body, and the fear left his face. Gohan went limp as he collapsed into his father's arms, howling with guilt, sadness, depression, and a whole plethora of other emotions that he could not name as he cried into his father's gi. He felt terrible—not only had he forsaken his family, but he had also been running from his problems. His father was right—he was a coward.
For a while, they just stood there in the pouring rain, Gohan sobbing into his father's shoulder with Goku's arms at his side, the older man looking impassive. Finally, after what could have been forever, Goku lifted his arm and patted his son on the shoulder.
"D-dad," Gohan bawled, his face drenched with tears, "I-I-I-I'm so sorry!"
"It's ok," Goku said strongly, as he felt his son shudder into his chest "let it all out here. Let everything go."
Gohan continued his letting go for another few minutes before he got a hold of himself again, then he separated himself from his father.
"T-thanks, Dad," he said, smiling slightly as he wiped away his tears, "I feel a lot better now. My head was just so clouded, and I was so confused, and I didn't know why I was acting the way I did, and I didn't know what I was even thinking, and—"
"Shh," Goku said softly with a little smile as he put his finger over his son's mouth, "Gohan, I know—It's not your fault. You're a teenager, and you have all of these feelings that you don't know how to control yet. Add in the fact that you had to save the world twice as a child, and you find that your head is filled with too many emotions to know what to do with. I blame myself partially for it—I was barely there for your childhood and you had to step into my shoes countless times before you were ready. I'm sorry for that, but that is in the past, so you need to just let it all, go."
Gohan smiled at his father's understanding—he truly was an amazing man. He had a sort of cosmic understanding of the world and its people. He knew what made people tick, and what made them tock, and if they were tock-ing when they needed to be tick-ing, he knew how to make them tick instead of tock. Goku looked unemotional on the outside at this moment, but underneath the strong veneer, Gohan could see that his heart was happy that his son had finally let go.
"I blamed myself for so long, you know, for your death. And then, I blamed myself for Goten's not having a father, and—"
"Gohan," Goku said calmly, "It's not your fault—I chose to stay dead. It was a decision that has haunted me to this very day. I thought I was doing the world a favor, but I should have been focused on the wellbeing of my family first and foremost. You should have come first in my mind—and believe me, you do now. If anything, I'm the one who's to blame for everything. But it's all ok now, I'm here, and I always will be. The past is the past—nothing we can do can change that now. We just have to focus on how we can make our future—your brother's future and mother's future—better now that I'm back."
At this, Gohan broke down into another fit of emotion, but this time he was smiling. Smiling because he felt ten years of depression and guilt leaving his body—being absorbed by his father's shirt in the form of tears. When he finally calmed down once more, Goku looked him straight in the eyes—black eyes on black as the rain pounded the tops of their heads.
"I think you know what you have to do now," he said seriously.
"Yeah," Gohan said, sounding strong.
"That's my boy," Goku said smiling, happy that Gohan was going to face his problems head on. He walked over and embraced his son, and there they stood for a few minutes more—just them, in the pouring rain.
The pair made their way back inside the house a few minutes later, and found Chichi sitting at the kitchen table, looking extremely anxious as she fiddled with her thumbs. She got up when she saw her husband and son walk in the door, and nervously looked at Goku, who nodded, telling her that everything was all right—that Gohan had returned to normal.
"Mother," Gohan said as he walked over to her and hugged her, "I'm so sorry for making you worry—I don't know what came over me. Please forgive me."
"O-oh," Chichi said, feeling tears of joy roll down her face, "I'm just happy to have you back again."
The two broke their hug after a minute and Gohan looked at his mother, smiling genuinely—something she had not seen him do for a very long time.
"I need to go apologize to Goten now," he said, seriously, "I know he's probably been most affected by all this. I feel terrible—the poor kid didn't deserve this."
Chichi nodded, knowing that there was no way that Goten was asleep with all the noise the other two had been making outside. So Gohan walked upstairs, his father choosing to stay behind in the kitchen, and knocked on his brother's door.
"Hey, kiddo, can I come in for a minute," he said, hopefully, not expecting a response.
"S-sure," came a soft, scared voice after a few seconds from the other side of the door.
Gohan felt a twang of guilt as he pushed open the door and entered his brother's dark room—how could he have done this to his baby brother? He found Goten in his bed—not out on the floor playing like he usually did when he was forced to go to bed early—with his back turned to the door, and under the covers. Gohan walked over to his brother's bed and sat down on the edge. He didn't say anything for a few minutes—he only sat there looking away, feeling Goten shaking under the blankets.
"G-Goten," he began with a stutter, feeling tears sting at his eyes again, "you have every right to be mad at me, but I came here to beg for your forgiveness."
Goten suddenly stopped shaking in his bed and became still. Gohan still looked across the room at the doorway, feeling hot tears stream down his face
"I-I was so mean to you, and for no reason, I-I'm so sorry Goten," he said, putting his face in his hands as he wept into them, "I don't know what to say! I wish I didn't say what I did—I can't imagine how bad I made you feel, and—" he was cut off as he felt his brother stir in the bed, and felt his little hands on his face, wiping away Gohan's tears.
"Please don't cry, big brother," Goten said, sounding sad, "daddy said that you don't have control over what you were doing, and so it's not your fault! "
"But that doesn't excuse what I did!" he said pitifully, trying to calm down as his shoulders shuddered with guilt, "You didn't deserve any of what I did to you."
"No, no," Goten said, standing up in his bed as he wrapped his arms around Gohan's broad back and put his little head on his brother's muscular shoulder, "It's ok, you're my big brother, I love you."
"G-Goten…" Gohan said, turning around and squeezing his brother tightly, "I-I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'll take it with gratitude."
"I don't know what that means," Goten said, sounding suffocated, "but you're choking me! Let me down?"
Gohan relaxed his grip on his brother but continued to embrace him for a few more seconds.
"I mean, thank you, and I promise I won't be like that ever again," Gohan said with a slightly pained smile, "do you want to come into my room for a while and hangout?" he asked hopefully, hoping that his brother would allow him.
"Yeah! That'd be great!" Goten exclaimed, "but don't tell mommy, m'kay? It's way past my bedtime!"
"Don't worry," Gohan said, feeling relieved that his brother had forgiven him as he got up and beckoned Goten to come with him, "I won't tell a soul."
Goten bounded off his bed, looking overjoyed that his brother was back to normal as they tiptoed into Gohan's room. It was only about ten o'clock—though, to little Goten, it might as well have been three in the morning, so there was an excited nervousness in the air as he sat with Gohan in his room on his bed, watching TV. Goten didn't particularly understand the show that they were watching—he usually only watched cartoons in the mornings, but that wasn't the point. The point was that he was spending time with his big brother again—just like they used to! Occasionally they talked, but mostly, they were silent as they sat on the bed together. Nothing really needed to be said. After a particularly long stretch of silence, Gohan was just about to point something out to his brother on the screen when he looked over, and saw the he was fast asleep, his head resting on his brother's side. Gohan smiled and looked at the clock. They had only been up for about 45 minutes, but he supposed his brother was less used to late hours than he. He clicked off the TV and gently picked up his brother, passing his mother in the hallway as she went to her room. She didn't even make a mention of the fact that Goten was up watching TV at this hour—she didn't mind, as long as her family was back together and as long as the cracks had been mended. She even smiled at her eldest as he carried his brother back to his room, giving him a look of pride and happiness. Gohan returned it, he was just happy that everything was back to the way that it should be. He was so fortunate to have a family that was so understanding.
After laying Goten back down and tucking him in, Gohan returned to the kitchen, and as he had expected, found his father waiting for him at the table, drinking tea.
"You want some?" he asked cheerily, "I made your favorite."
"Thanks," Gohan said with a grin as he helped himself.
The two sat there for a while, not talking, the only sounds being the sipping on their tea and the occasional trickle of a new mug being poured. Finally, Gohan broke the silence.
"Thanks," he said, staring at his tea mug.
"For what?" Goku asked, genuinely perturbed.
"For helping me see again," Gohan said, gripping his cup tightly as he felt his hands burn, "for helping me get back to being me again.
"I didn't do any of that," Goku said softly, taking a swig from his cup, "that was all you, son. All I did was take you to the door—you're the one who opened it. You're the one who had the courage to go and face your brother and mother and accept the consequences of your actions—to stop running away. You did it all by yourself, and I'm proud of you. It's not easy, I know, but you're doing a great job handling it"
Gohan smiled at his father, "Thanks, dad."
Goku just grinned as he refilled his cup, "So everything is back to normal with you and your brother?"
"Yeah," Gohan said quietly, still sounding guilty, "I don't deserve a brother who's so forgiving."
"It's in his nature," Goku said airily, "I guess he gets it from his old man, huh?"
"Yeah, he definitely does," Gohan said with a sly grin, "you know, when he was a baby, he reminded me so much of you. He used to bring home a different animal every single day. One day it would be a lizard, next a bird, next a mouse—mother almost fainted on a regular basis."
Goku smiled a broad grin, "yeah that sounds like me."
He put his mug down on the table and crossed his arms—now it was time to get down to business.
"I take it your date with Videl didn't go all that well, did it son? Given the sour mood you were in when you got home." He said sternly as he looked at his son, who immediately stiffened at the sound of her name.
"No," he said miserably, "it was a complete disaster."
"Talk to me about it."
Gohan obliged unquestioningly—if nothing else, his father had taught him that it did nobody any good to keep feelings locked up inside. He recounted the whole tale, of how he couldn't wait to see her, and then he couldn't wait to get away from her, and then finally, her leaving him. He finished his story and his father just looked at him—not disparagingly or anything like that, he just looked at him blankly.
"Well, it sounds to me like you know exactly what you have to do now," Goku said unconcernedly, taking his mug up again.
"What? Tell me! I have literally no idea," Gohan said desperately.
"But you already know," Goku insisted.
"I do?" Gohan asked sounding frantic and thinking hard.
"Of course," his father said, getting up from his place and taking his mug over to the sink as he walked towards the staircase, "You always have. Just look inside yourself, and listen to what your heart says—you can't go wrong. Let it be your guide."
"Wait, father! At least give me a hint!" Gohan called after his father who was already mounting the stairs.
"Shh!" Goku said, putting his finger over his lips as he gestured upstairs, "Goodnight," he whispered again as he pointed to his chest and mouthed the word "heart."
Gohan just looked after his father as he disappeared upstairs. What was he supposed to do? He had no idea how he needed to go about his problem, or what his father had meant by his cryptic words. Couldn't he have given him at least a hint of what needed to be done? He sat at the table, his head in his hands, thinking hard about what he needed to do, but after coming up with nothing after a solid fifteen minutes of thinking, he got up, defeated, and put his mug in the sink, turned off the kitchen light, and headed to bed to clear his very confused head.