Chapter Nine

I'm now three weeks away from hopefully seeing Joey again and I am so nervous. It's been a busy month and I am just about back on my feet, although I am still having some breathing difficulties.

On my first day back at work, I ended up back in hospital. I know I was supposed to take it easy but it didn't work. I got a bit overenthusiastic with a case and convinced Watson to let me come with her to investigate a robbery. But I was so into surveying the scene that I went too long without my inhaler and had some sort of attack.

I was pretty embarrassed to be back in the hospital and they made me stay overnight. Fortunately, Sid has his job back at the hospital now so he was the one that treated me. I trust him and he didn't judge me for doing too much. Poor Watson was really worried. But I'm okay now and I'm being much more sensible about things.

I've been busying myself with all sorts of things in the last few weeks. I'm working almost full time but they said that I shouldn't rush these things. I thought it would be weird and difficult to go back as only a Senior Constable and work under a new Sergeant but it's not. To be honest, I'm just grateful to be back there at all.

And in my non-work time, I've been spending as much time with Ruby as possible. She's been taking my care ever so seriously and I feel like we've completely healed our relationship. She's actually decided to defer University for a year. I objected, of course, especially when I knew she was doing it for me. I don't want her to throw her life away because her Mum can't breathe properly.

But actually, her reasoning was sound. She said that her number one reason was me. She and I had planned to move to the city together and start afresh and even though the boys won't be coming now, the one person she can't leave is me. I was very touched by that, I must admit. She insists that she has no plans to skip Uni altogether and she will go next year instead. That way, we can really plan it and move properly together.

She is also now looking for a job to earn some extra cash for when she studies and she's taking on an evening course to 'keep her brain from turning to mush'. I'm still worried about her putting her life on hold because of me but I am touched that she is willing to do such a thing. She thinks a gap year is a good idea for both of us. That way, she can save some cash, help me adjust and also help me find Joey. It's become as much as priority to her as it is to me. You can't get more supportive than that, can you?

I've continued watching lots of films and reading lots of books. I've also got a date with Alf Stewart tomorrow afternoon. Yep, you read that right! Me and Alf! He's taking me fishing for the afternoon.

When Joey and I were together, her two biggest passions were fishing and sailing. I've been taking sailing lessons with Romeo and although I'm not planning to get a boat licence or anything serious like that, I think it's important to learn a little bit about what Joey loves. Obviously Romeo teaching me isn't as great as Joey teaching me but I want to be prepared.

And Alf's job is to teach me the joy of fishing. I'm not sure that's going to be very easy. It stinks and it's boring but it's important to Joey and Joey's important to me. I guess what I am trying to do is shape myself into the kind of person that she could love. If I do everything I can to make myself good enough for her and prove that I've changed then maybe, just maybe, she'll give me a second chance.

Tonight is Liam and Bianca's hen night and I am so excited about it. When I organised it, it was going to be at Angelo's and I was going to be living in the city with Ruby, Brax and Casey. Bianca hated me at that point but I wanted to do it for her anyway because regardless of how she felt about me, I loved her and I wanted her to be happy.

If it's not stretching positive thinking too much, I'm almost glad I got shot. It was painful and scary and I could have died. But I didn't. Instead, I was given this chance to turn my life around. So tonight, I am going to party with my best friend and celebrate her engagement to the man she loves. What could be better?

Next time… Charlie ends up in hospital after a confrontation with Brax…