A/N
Hello Everyone!
I adore each one of you and treasure your reviews. I have the best readership out there… and more keep joining!
This is a big day in the history of this little story. At the time of posting, the story has 1,939 reviews. When I started, I didn't think we'd ever see 2,000, but we are almost there.
A special thanks to Brittany, aka Le_Crepuscule, for her lovely review on Twigirlsnextdoor. (link on my profile)
Thanks to Team SGMR: Especially robsjenn for pre-reading and orangeappeal for beta'ing.
A couple of words about nominations at the end of the chapter.
Let's see how these two are doing…
Chapter Twenty
Wayward
.
.
"We did not change the itinerary much from last year. Here's your copy." Carlisle hands me a printout of materials for this year's retreat.
What have I agreed to? The two of us with eight boys, ages 15-17, camping for two days in Mt. Rainier National Park. We'll be two hours from Seattle, from Bella.
I scan the paper. "Looks like a little more free time this year."
"Yes. If I remember correctly, we thought we over scheduled them last year. Isn't that right?"
"Yeah, yeah, that's what I remember, too," I mutter as I continue to look over all the hours I'll be away from her.
"Do you two want coffee?" Esme calls out from the kitchen. I look at my watch, a little after eight, fewer than twelve hours left before we leave for the trip. "I can make decaf," she continues.
"Thank you, Esme. I'd like some decaf," Carlisle says.
"Um… sure, if you're making a pot, I'll have a cup too. Thanks, Esme." I keep my eye on the papers in front of me. "Carlisle, are you're sure we should make this a two night event?"
"Yes, I'm sure. And it's too late to change it now. As long as it doesn't rain, we can keep them until Monday morning. The in-service day at school gives us the opportunity to try a two night trip."
"Mmm. I hear it's going to rain." Please rain.
"Edward," his voice is serious and it pulls my eyes away from the papers, "I know this was a difficult decision for you, but I think you made the right one. I'm glad you're coming."
"Thank you, Carlisle." Unease and reluctance is evident in my quiet voice.
"This is an excellent age group. These boys are crazy about you and you were terrific with them last year." Carlisle's voice is impassioned, like he's giving a convincing sermon.
"That's nice of you to say." I still don't want to go.
"Did I tell you about the email from Seth? He's had a rough year, his parents divorced, and he's really looking forward to spending time with you."
"Seth is a good kid." I've known him for years now and he reminds me so much of myself as a teen—tall, gawky, eager to please. "Really, all the boys are good kids."
The retreat last year secured my belief that I was heading down the right path, a fact I had forgotten until this moment. God, you really want me to go, I can tell.
"I think this will give you a chance to explore the child psychology path we've discussed."
"Yeah… yes," I correct myself. "Thank you, Carlisle. I am glad I'm going. Sorry I've been so, I don't know…"
"Edward, I'm no fool. I would be less than enthused if I had to leave Esme during our first month of dating."
I scratch my head, feeling a little embarrassed by my transparency. "Yes, thank you for understanding."
"It's frustrating to be without a cell phone. If you look on the second page, I've included the phone number of the ranger station in case of emergencies."
You know me so well. Esme comes into the dinning room carrying cream and sugar. "Did you show Edward the phone number for the ranger station?" You both know me so well. "Be sure to give Bella my number, too. I'll be around all weekend."
My smile grows as I shift my eyes between their faces filled with warmth and hope for me. I've been blessed.
.
I get into my car and send Bella a text:
B,
Hope girls weekend has
started off well.
Leaving C & Es
stopping at condo
then I'll be over.
-E
I sit in the driveway waiting for her response. A minute or so later, my cell phone comes alive.
E,
Call me when you
get to your condo.
-B
So curt, that's unlike Bella.
Bella,
Is everything ok?
The response is immediate:
Yes.
This is strange. I pull out of the driveway, impatient to get home. Driving faster than I should, I get to our condo in record time. As I wait for the elevator, I text Bella again.
Bella,
I'm at the condo.
Last check on packing
and I'll be there soon.
-E
I ride the elevator up, waiting for her response and feeling anxious—our time together is limited. As I approach the front door, her text arrives:
E,
Stay there, baby.
I'm on my way.
-B
Baby? Well, that's a different tone. Why is she coming here? We need to stay with Alice. Another text:
PS
I am TISPY.
Tispy? Oh… she's tipsy. She's tipsy?
B,
Where are you?
I'll come get you.
-E
I envision a drunk Bella walking the streets of Seattle alone. I wait for about three seconds for her reply, but hear nothing, so I call.
"Hel-looooo," she sings her answer. At least she sounds happy.
"Bella, where are you? I'm coming to get you."
"I'll give you a hint. I'm standing in front of a very handsome man right now."
What? Who's handsome? I hear whispering on the other end of the phone.
"Good evening, Mr. Masen. This is Carlton."
Oh, thank God. It's my doorman.
"Ms. Swan is here to see you. Shall I send her up?"
"Yes, please. Thank you, Carlton. And… uh… Ms. Swan has a key. Can you make sure she's allowed up anytime, even if I'm not here?"
"Certainly. I will make note of it." Even through his professionalism, I can hear the humor in his voice.
Bella comes back, "See you soo-oon," and she ends the call.
Drunk Bella, this should be interesting.
Watching the elevator, I stand in the doorway. It opens to reveal Bella wearing a wicked grin and finger waving at me. She walks a crooked line toward me swinging a shopping bag and I meet her half way down the corridor.
"Hi, baby," she says as I wrap my arm around her waist and begin walking her the rest of the way back to the condo. Bella slips her hand into my back pocket. Drunk Bella is amorous Bella.
"Hi there, Bella. Did you have a good time?"
"Mmm-hmm. I had a great time, but I couldn't wait to see you." She leans into me as we walk. I don't think she's wasted, but she might be beyond the point of tipsy. I bring her into the condo and lock the door.
"Did you take a cab?"
"Nope. I walked."
"You what?"
"Oh, my gosh. I'm kidding. Yes, I took a cab," she says placing her fingers on my chest. "I'm sorry. I'm silly when I drink. I'm silly and talky and silly."
Talky. This could be interesting.
"Come here, you." I take her hand and walk with her into the kitchen.
I help Bella up to her place where she sits on the counter and say, "Don't move."
"Yes, sir." Her voice has the same lascivious sound as the other afternoon. I want to say something sexy in response, but I'm still trying to read the situation.
I take a bottle of Pedialyte out of the fridge. "How much did you have to drink?" I try to keep my voice casual as I reach for a glass by her head.
"Just two."
"Two what?"
"Cosmos." She closes her eyes and scratches her head. "No three."
"Three? Were they pink or red?"
"Very pink. Almost clear."
Wonderful. Living on seven calories a day, three potent cosmos can obliterate her.
"No, wait… two cosmos and wine."
"Drink." I hand her the glass of Pedialyte. My thoughts and feelings are jumbled. I'm glad she had fun, but I'm jealous it wasn't with me.
"Who came over?"
"It was me and Alice and Rose. And then we wanted get Alice out the apartment, so we bribed Alice and Ruth with dinner."
"Who is Ruth?"
"Alice's wheelchair. Edward, she really needed to make friends with the chair, so we named her Ruth. She's one of the girls now." Bella looks so lovable as she blinks up at me. Really, she's adorable. I have difficulty hiding my smile as she guzzles down Pedialyte, surely a move to make me happy.
"Where did you go for dinner?"
"Oh…" wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. Then she scratches her head again and looks away, confused. "Wait… we um. We started at the bar, um… Liberty, and we didn't um…"
"You didn't eat, did you?" Now I'm pissed, my hands pulling my hair, my face getting hot.
"I had a late lunch and…"
"Bella, how could you skip…"
"Please, please, Edward. We forgot to order, lost track of time. We were having fun."
She grabs my arm and pulls me toward her. In an instant, her legs are wrapped around me and she's holding my face, her eyes begging. "Please, baby. Don't be mad. I have surprises and secrets." She runs her fingers over my jaw. "I've been looking forward to this all day." Suddenly, she is kissing me, thrusting her tongue into my mouth. It's an aggressive kiss that takes me off guard. I taste Pedialyte and mouthwash, vodka… and cigarettes. She smoked without me.
Breaking away, she continues to hold my face in her hands, "And you're leaving tomorrow. Please let's be lovey-dovey tonight."
"Okay, okay." God, grant me patience. I kiss her head, her ear, her throat. "After you eat." I step away from her and open the fridge.
"I'm starving."
"Yeah?" I look back at her. At least it's something. "What are you hungry for?"
"You." Her smile is coy, flirtatious.
I look at the clock above her head and I realize we're running out of time. "We need to get back to help out Alice. Maybe we should pick something up on the way."
Bella slowly shakes her head.
"No?"
"Nope. Rose is staying there tonight."
"You mean we can stay here?"
"Yep."
"All night?"
"Mm-hmm."
Fuck yeah.
"Well, we definitely need to feed you, then. You'll need your strength."
Bella raises her arms in victory, "Yay!"
"Food first."
"Pizza."
"Pizza?"
Bella closes her eyes and lets her head fall back. "Mmm. I haven't had pizza in ages."
I take out my phone and hit speed dial for Pagliacci's. "What do you want on it?"
"Lots of stuff," she says digging her teeth into her bottom lip. As sexy as she sounds, I drop my head. Please Lord, this can't be as complicated as ice cream.
They pick up phone:
"Pagliacci's. Are you calling for delivery?"
"Hey, is this Pete? This is Edward."
"Hey Edward. The usual?"
"Um, no… I'll have a large pie with… " I look to Bella for some sort of help, but she's just staring, looking somewhat dazed, "ham and pineapple…?"
She comes to life and nods.
"And, mushrooms…?"
Another eager nod.
"Onions…?"
Bella scrunches her nose and shakes her head.
Quickly I say, "Pete why don't you just give me a large pie with everything but onions and we'll pick off the stuff we don't want."
Bella nods and gives me a thumbs up.
"Sure, Edward. We'll be there in a bit."
I end the call and pocket my phone as Bella takes another large glug of Pedialyte, swinging her legs, and watching me with wide eyes the whole time.
Keeping our gaze locked, I open the fridge and grab an Alaskan Amber. I open the bottle and take a swig as I toss the cap in the sink.
"Do I get a beer?" Bella teases, smiling and stretching out her arm.
"No," I say sternly and rummage through my cupboards, "you get Saltines."
Bella gives an exaggerated pout as I open the sleeve of the crackers. Uh, that protruding bottom lip. Focus Edward, this is your chance to hear her talk.
"Feed me," Bella whispers, closing her eyes and parting her lips, showing a bit of her pink tongue.
I break off a piece of a cracker and lay it, with one finger, on her tongue. Taking my hand in both hers, Bella proceeds to give my finger, and the saltine, a killer blowjob. Swirling her tongue, sucking me in and out, flicking my fingertip with the tip of her tongue, all the while she closes her eyes and moans.
When she finishes sucking and pulls out my finger, she looks up at me like she's surprised I witnessed a private moment between Bella and my finger. "Sorry, I shouldn't tease." She looks so innocent.
"Teasing is okay. Bella, have you done that before? Have you given…" what does she call it? "oral? I mean, other than what we did the other night."
Bella stills for a moment, expressionless, and then pulls me in for another kiss. Her calves run up and down my legs as she holds my head and moves her mouth in the same way she did a moment ago. But she hasn't answered my question.
I murmur against her skin, "Have you?"
She pulls me in again and continues her kiss, it is an eager kiss: biting my lip, exploring my mouth, sucking my tongue. I almost forget my question. Her hands leave my face and travel to my backside. I feel my growing hardness against the edge of the counter.
"Answer me," I say, brushing my cheek against hers.
Bella kisses my neck and works her way to my ear. Her breath is labored, her voice cautious, "You don't want to know."
Oh. It is all I need to know and more than I want to know. For a moment, my mind wanders to why she would be so turned off by giving me a blowjob, then I think about the asshole, what it must have been like with him, and my curiosity is answered. I don't want to think about this anymore.
"We're good, right?" Bella asks. I close my eyes and feel her eyelashes blinking on my cheek, her fingertips on my scruff. "Tell me we're good, Edward."
"We're good, baby. We're great," I say tightly, trying to shake images from my mind.
I step away and take another sip of beer. I've completely killed the moment.
"Why don't you tell me a secret?"
"Secret?" Her brows pull together, she's confused.
"Yes. You said you had secrets and surprises."
"Oh, right, yes. I have a surprise," she says, the joy back in her eyes.
Without warning, Bella jumps off the counter and loses her balance, tipping to the side, but I catch her.
"Whoa. How about you tell me when you're going to do something like that."
Holding onto my arms as she finds her footing, she looks up, pleading with her eyes—for what, I don't know. There is a pull between us, like the moment before a first kiss.
"We… we… went shopping," she whispers, her eyes shifting between mine.
She went shopping, Edward, say something nice. I glance down and look at her top.
"Is that a new top?"
Her chest rises and her mouth curls in a smile. "Yes. You noticed."
I feel the counter behind her, place down my beer, and return my arms to their place around her waist and back. All reason shuts down; I am a wire, ungrounded, live, coursing with a current of emotions. I press into her and I try to speak, but really, I just want to be inside of her. Be nice, Edward. Calm down.
"It's blue. Blue is pretty on you."
With a slight nod, her eyes grow wide. "It's my color," she murmurs, "I don't want to wear Alice's clothes any more."
Alice's clothes? Sue said something about Bella's clothes, but I can't remember right now.
Keep this going. Keep talking, Bella.
I run my hand over Bella's jeans; they hug her body. "Are these new jeans?"
"Yes." Bella blushes; her hands move to my neck.
"They're tight."
"I thought you might like them."
I push my erection against her hip and run my hand around her peach of an ass. Her breath is on my neck. Sliding my hand under and between her legs, I feel the wet denim.
"Bella. You're soaked." Not romantic, Edward.
Her head falls back, eyes closed, she wears a drunken smile.
"Mmm. That's what you do to me."
Looking lost in her own world, Bella arches, leaning her back against the counter. Her hands leave my neck and slide down her throat.
"That is what happens when I think about you."
I keep her pinned with my hips as I rub my hand over the coarse fabric. She moans. Keep talking, Bella.
"When I'm at work, I think of you. When I'm at home, tonight at the bar… I get so wet."
She licks her lips. It is as if she is in a dream or a hypnotic state, the words just flow.
"And the guys at the bar… mmm."
Guys?
"Tell me about the bar, Bella."
"They were flirting with me. Not Rose, me." A smile grows wider and she's almost laughing. I unbutton her jeans; I want to be inside what is mine.
"Did you flirt back?"
"Noo," she says as if it a preposterous idea.
I unzip.
"Did that make them flirt more?"
She starts to giggle. "Mmm. How did you know?"
Stop, Edward. Do not go in her pants. STOP.
I step away. Bella's knees weaken for a moment, but she straightens up again, jolted out of her fantasy or whatever the fuck that was.
I grab my beer and finish most of it as I walk out of the kitchen.
"Oh my God," I hear her whisper.
Footsteps follow behind me as I head to a chair in the living room.
"Edward?"
I am fuming.
I sit down and Bella follows, sitting in front of me on the ottoman. I keep my eyes above her, straight ahead.
"Edward?" She puts her hands on my knees, but I don't look at her. "You're mad?"
Another swig of beer.
"I don't understand. You're mad? Are you… wait… you're not jealous, are you?"
"Yes, I'm fucking jealous."
She gasps, a hand covering her open mouth. "Oh my God."
What? You're surprised? I can't keep still; my knee bounces as I finish my beer.
Bella digs her hand in her hair and looks around, bemused.
"But I… I'm sorry. I didn't think you could ever be…" A single laugh escapes her lips.
"You're laughing?" Oh, now I am livid.
"No, no… I'm drunk and stupid and shocked, really, really shocked. I could never imagine that you, you could be jealous of me. I mean you're you, and guys don't flirt with me…"
"You know why I'm pissed off, Bella?" I lean in and get in her face, "Because you still don't get it. You still don't get how pretty you are. You're out there walking around the streets of Seattle drunk and wet. And guys are hanging all over you. And, and, you are so naive, you don't understand what's going on in guys' heads. They're fucked, Bella. Most of them are completely fucked and looking for one thing."
I need another beer. I get up and walk into the kitchen. I open a bottle and whip the cap into the sink. Taking a long swill, I step out into the living room where Bella is still sitting.
"And don't tell me that guys don't flirt with you. Or are you really that blind? Every single one of Mike's so-called friends was hanging all over you at the funeral. Any one of them would nail you if they had the chance."
There, I've said my piece.
She sits there, staring at her hands.
Come on, Bella, your turn. Say something. I drink more beer and look at her.
Fuck it. I go back into the kitchen.
I press my palms into the counter, and wait. It's so quiet; I can hear my heartbeat in my ears. Maybe I was too harsh. Yes, probably too harsh. What did I just say to her?
"Edward," she startles me. I turn around to see her, looking pale and stone sober, in the doorway of the kitchen.
"First, I don't walk around Seattle drunk." Her voice is calm, cool; it unnerves me. "Second, before I met you, I went out with friends and handled myself just fine. And third, I know all too well the darkness inside the minds of men."
My phone rings and I turn away to answer it. "Hello," I snap.
"Mr. Masen, your pizza is here. Should I send him up?"
I glance at Bella's shopping bag on the counter.
"Um… can you give me a few minutes? Actually, don't send him up. I'll be down in a minute."
"Sure."
"Thanks."
I end the call and reach for the shopping bag, playing with the strings, as I calm myself.
I should apologize. I'm leaving tomorrow. We have to turn this night around.
"The pizza is here. I'll go down and get it," I mutter.
Curiosity gets the best of me and I look in her bag. Silky material. I pull it out and see it is a short, blue, silky nightgown. I am a total prick.
"Bella, I'm sorry."
I turn around, but she's no longer in the doorway. "Bella?" I walk out into the living room, but she isn't there.
"Bella?" I call out, but hear nothing. Fuck, she's gone.
I run out into the corridor and see Bella in the elevator, frantically pushing a button, her eyes raised to the numbers, as the doors close.
"Wait," I run down to the elevator and throw my arm in to stop it from closing. As the doors open, Bella recedes and turns to the corner, turning away from me.
"I want to go home now," her voice shakes.
"Bella, Bella I'm sorry. I…" I hold her shoulders as she crosses her arms in front of herself. "Please forgive me. I lost my temper."
Please, God. Please, God. Please, God.
"You're forgiven... but I still want to go home now."
"Please, please, Bella." I kiss the top of her head. "Stay with me."
I hear her sniffle.
I made Bella cry. No.
I grab for my handkerchief, offering it to her over her shoulder.
Her only response is to shake her head.
No to the handkerchief? No to staying? Both?
"Just stay for a little bit. If you still want to go home, I'll take you home. Okay?"
The decision seems to take forever.
I have totally fucked this.
I hear the doors open and take a glance to see we've reached the lobby.
I whisper into her hair. "I promise, I'll take you home. Please stay a little longer."
She nods.
This is your chance, Edward. Fix this.
"Stay here. I um… I'll get the pizza."
As we ride the elevator back up, I stand next to her, praying for some words.
I place my hand on the nape of her neck. "I'm sorry," I whisper again.
"I know. Me too."
When we get back in my condo, Bella silently takes a seat at the breakfast bar.
I open the pizza box. There is so much shit on this pizza, she will never eat it. Instead of paper plates, I choose regular; it's nicer that way.
"What can I get you to drink?" Pedialyte? Beer? Whatever you want.
"Water, please." Her voice is so low, I can barely hear her.
Placing the pizza and water in front of her I say, "There's a lot of stuff on it. You know… um… take off whatever you want."
"Thank you."
I don't know what to say.
"I'll be right back," I tell her as I go into the bathroom, because the last time I turned away, she left.
From the medicine cabinet, I take two Tylenol, and return, placing them next to her plate.
"These will help you fight off a hangover." My voice is soft. Where was my soft voice earlier?
'Don't take them until after you eat,' I want to say, but I hold my tongue and watch her take them.
I stand in the kitchen, eating my slice, trying not to watch Bella pick at her pizza, making a meal of the crust. The silence chokes me. What should I say? 'Bella sometimes I'm a raging idiot?' Yes, maybe I should.
"Ed-"
"Bel-"
We start at the same time, but we are absent of the laughter that usually accompanies such a moment.
"You go first," she says.
"No, please, you."
"I'm sorry I said things that made you angry." In a cautious voice, she speaks as if she's been practicing this speech in her head for the last fifteen minutes, "I make mistakes, but I never intend to hurt you or play games."
I know this.
"Edward, I am trying very, ver-" her voice breaks, then she composes herself, "very hard, but I am still not used to this—what we have. I am afraid you have the wrong idea of who I am. I am not the kind of woman who hangs out in bars and…"
"Stop, please stop." I put down my pizza. "I know that's not the kind of woman you are, Bella. I have no idea what came over me. I'm not used to this either. I don't think I've ever been jealous of anyone before."
Cocking her head, she looks strangely at me. "You didn't get jealous with any of your other girlfriends?"
Other girlfriends?
"Bella, I've dated here and there, but I never had a girlfriend before, not like this."
Her brows pull together.
"Haven't we talked about this?" Surely she knows about my lack of relationships.
"No, we haven't. I've been curious, but never wanted to ask. I've always assumed you had a long history of… leggy, beautiful women."
"No."
"Oh. I see." I watch as Bella process the information. "None?"
"Just one."
"One?"
I nod, raising one finger.
"Oh." Bella looks away, her face riddled with apprehension. "Can I, can I ask her name?"
"Hospital socks."
Bella's eyes meet mine, frozen for a split second, then a sob escapes and Bella covers her mouth with her hand.
I walk around to the breakfast bar. By the time I reach her, she is full on bawling.
Turning her stool to me, she pulls me in for an urgent hug, grasping at the back of my shirt and burying her face in my neck as she cries.
I hold her tightly, maybe crushing her. "Bella, you are it. You are the love of my life… and I've been a total shit." It spurs more tears. "I worry about you."
"Too much."
"Too much? Maybe. I don't know. Maybe not enough."
She pulls away, laughing, crying. "Edward, you couldn't possibly worry about me more."
With the back of her hand, Bella wipes her tear-streaked cheeks. "Handkerchief?" she asks.
"Handkerchief," I say, fumbling for it and handing it to her.
Bella wipes her face and blows her nose as I stand between her legs, holding the back of her knees.
"I'm so emotional. I think it's the booze and I'm PMSing, and… gosh, I'm babbling."
"Don't stop babbling, talk to me."
"You. You talk to me."
Pressure.
"I don't know…" Be honest "I think it scares me that you don't know what kind of a catch you are, that you don't see yourself clearly, and you're going to leave yourself vulnerable. Or someone is going to steal you away. Or… or… you'll realize all you have going for you and you'll leave me."
"Leave you?"
"For someone better. For someone more mature… someone who doesn't go off on you in some sort of juvenile temper tantrum."
"Edward, I am a catch in your eyes, and I'm finally starting to see that." Placing my hand over her chest she says, "You have to believe in my feelings for you. Never doubt my heart is yours, completely."
He doesn't still have some of it?
"Completely." Bella answers my silent question.
I nod and repeat the words back to myself.
"Bella, promise me something."
"I'll try."
"When I get back from the retreat, go out drinking with me."
Bella bursts out in a short fit of laughter.
"You like me when I'm drunk?"
"You're incredibly sexy when you're drunk."
"I'm drunk now."
"My point exactly," I say, wiping the last of her tears away with my thumbs.
"Look at me. I'm sure I am a mess."
"You're pretty, always." I hold her stare. "Stay."
Her smile widens as she shakes her head, "Of course."
"Let me make love to you."
"You better."
"Isabella?"
"Yes, Edward?"
"Would it be wrong for me to suggest you eat more pizza first?"
She shakes her head again, amused. Taking my face in her hands, she says, "Oh, my Edward," and kisses my forehead, "my Edward," my cheek, "my Edward," my lips. "Yes, I will eat more pizza first."
~0~
I wake to the smell of coffee in the air and the taste of Bella on my tongue.
It's early; the sun is not yet up. I want to sleep. I turn over and doze off again.
Bacon. Mmm, I like bacon. The sound and smoky smell of sizzling bacon wakes me a second time.
Groggy, I sit up in bed and rub my eyes with the heels of my hands.
Oh Dear Lord, what did I do last night? I can't believe she stayed. Hospital socks? That was all you, God. Divine intervention.
I roll my head around. I'm sore, but don't know why. I must have been holding tension.
Bella's quickness to forgive, her grace, both a gift and a curse, is what inspires and worries me the most. Her grace saved my ass last night—I cannot do that again.
I go into the kitchen where Bella, wearing my t-shirt over her new nightie, stands scrambling a bowl of eggs. My girl has great legs.
"Morning, Bella."
"Good morning."
I wrap my arms around her and trail kisses down her neck.
"Are you making me breakfast?"
"No, this is for me. Would you like me to make you something, too?" She angles her head and gives me a wry smile.
"You're too good to me."
"You need a mountain man breakfast to start off your trip."
I rest my chin on her shoulder as she goes back to scrambling.
"Can I apologize again?"
"No," she says, turning into my arms, facing me. "Like I said last night, we'll make mistakes, we have to forgive and move on. I've let it go; please, do the same. Don't torture yourself, Edward."
Like the child I am, I say, "I don't want to go to the retreat."
"What? You must go."
"Must?
"Yes. You're not the type to break a commitment, and those boys, oh, those boys would be so disappointed. Besides, who will lead them into a rousing rendition of Kumbaya?"
I give her a gentle pinch on her backside and she chirps like a bird. "We do not sing Kumbaya." Though, maybe we should.
Bella kisses my cheek, "Will you get the orange juice?"
As I turn to get the orange juice, Bella pours the eggs into the frying pan.
"What do you do with the boys?"
"It's mostly camping stuff—fishing, hiking, there's a basketball court on the campground." I reach into the cabinet and get plates to set the table. "Boys are more likely to open up and talk if they're doing something, being active, you know. So then we talk about the basics – peer pressure, drugs, parents."
"Mmm, those boys are lucky to have you and Carlisle. I could have used something like that at that age."
"Yeah?"
"Well, yes. Most kids could use that, don't you think?
"What would you have talked about?"
"Oh, I don't know." I stand against the counter watching Bella cook and open up. "It's an emotional time for a girl, all kids I guess. So much drama." Bella shakes her head and laughs. "Poor Charlie. I think I terrified him as a teen, and without a mom, I don't know."
"How did you handle it?"
"Um… how did I handle it? I think I developed skills to hide my emotions, control them."
You still have those skills, Bella.
"Monday is your first therapy session?"
"Yes. Monday morning. If I'm not around when you get back, you'll know where I'll be."
"I'll come find you."
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A/N:
Oh, Edward. *shakes head* So are you a wee bit mad at him or are you as forgiving as Gracella? I'm curious to know.
I am truly honored when this story is nominated for awards. Thank you.
She Gives Me Religion has moved onto the Silver Round in the Everlasting Twilight Awards in the 'Forbidden Love' category.
http:/everlastingtwilightawards(dot)yolasite(dot)com/voting(dot)php
And the story has been nominated for two Shimmer Awards:
'Adonis Award' for best use of Edward
'UnderDog Award' for best new author
http:/www(dot)kwiksurveys(dot)com/online-survey(dot) php?surveyID=NOOJIH_b9f578b4
I feel honored to be listed next to so many great authors and stories. Thank you!
Love,
Liz xoxox