Chapter Eleven
It's the night before I'm due to come face to face with Joey and I'm so nervous. Ruby and I are in the city and spending the night in a hotel so that I can be completely ready to meet Joey off the boat at lunch time. We've had a lovely dinner together and I am so happy that she's so supportive over all of this, even though my new mind set has cost her so much.
Not only has my darling Ruby put University on hold for me, but she and Casey have now broken up. It happened a few days ago and I feel so sorry for her. She's handling it much better than I expected her to. Honestly, I really thought Casey was 'the one' for her. She had such a connection with him, even more so than with Xavier and Geoff. They both seemed to be in for the long haul too.
Unfortunately, my breakup with Brax appears to have torn them apart. Ruby's handling it well but she said that she just got sick and tired of hearing Brax criticise me through his brother. At first, they agreed not to mention either of us and just be happy together but I guess it didn't work. Comments have been made, although I haven't dared ask what. My feelings are easily wounded these days and I don't need to invite more hurt.
While Casey thinks I'm evil for breaking his brother's heart and turning him into a depressed drunk, Ruby thinks Brax is evil for everything that's happened. She believes that everything went wrong when he and I got together and that I sacrificed too much of myself for him.
It's how I feel too but I can't quite blame him the way she does. She's right in that I never would have got shot if I hadn't been caught up in his mess and I can't exactly disagree. And it's a very popular opinion that his behaviour since the end of our relationship has been appalling. I know he's hurting and I feel so sorry for that but goodness, even Angelo handled our final breakup better than Brax has. And he wasn't exactly the most stable man in the work. I mean, he turned into a stalker at one point. But he never scared me in the same way Brax has, especially at Liam and Bianca's party.
Anyway, this is a night to be focussing on Joey, not Brax. It's for focussing on the future, not the past. I can't believe I've almost reached the day when I will actually see Joey's beautiful face again.
I have a whole speech prepared and I've been driving poor Ruby nuts with rehearsing it. I don't even know if I'll get through it. She might take one look at me and run in the other direction or worse. But I just have to hold onto the hope that she'll at least give me the chance to talk to her. If I can only explain how I feel about her, how much I have changed and how committed I can be to her now, then maybe, just maybe she'll reciprocate. It's a tall order and I'm doubtful it will go the way I've been dreaming but I do know I have to try. That's the least I owe her. And myself.
I managed to rearrange my date with Alf, which was good and I actually found that I like fishing! Who would have thought it? Definitely not Joey, so, should I get a chance to spend proper time with her tomorrow, I hope she will be pleased.
I ended up talking quite a lot to Alf during our fishing trip and I really enjoyed his company. He was curious about why I had a sudden interest so I told him all about my hopes and dreams for Joey. He genuinely wished me luck and told me that if I loved her that much then I had to try and get her back. He said that rather than being too short, life is too long to be sad and lonely. If you have someone to be with, someone you want to share your life with, then you should do whatever it takes to make it happen. And I will.
Next time… Charlie finally comes face to face with Joey again…