A/N: Fair warning, this chapter gets a bit steamy early on and delves into some pretty intense emotions. You have been warned. Non-graphic adult content ahead.

Chapter Two: New Life

Once more I found myself looking out at Earth from space, this time through the window of my quarters on the Normandy. It seemed almost like fate that I could see the planet from my window even though we were docked with he Citadel, or perhaps it was Joker's work. Over a month had passed since the battle for Earth and the galaxy was still too busy licking its' wounds and sorting out their battered fleets to move the Citadel out of Earth's orbit, much less back to where it had been. I could only thank whatever higher power was watching over us that the mass effect fields of the place kept the station's gravitational pull from affecting the planet. As for me, my wounds were healed up and I was finally mostly done with the media, but one question that many asked still ate at me as I watched what was left of Earth.

What was I going to do now that the reaper threat was gone?

While I was fighting to reclaim Earth there was rarely any time place to think about what I was going to do after everything was finished. I had mostly been too busy trying to make sure my decisions didn't destroy millions or doom species. In fact, the past four years had left me with very little time to consider myself at all. To be honest, if someone hadn't pointed out to me how obvious Tali's feelings for me were I would have probably never noticed and never gotten together with her. In hindsight, that simple event of Yeoman Chambers pointing it out probably changed everything. My relationship with Tali gave me so much more strength than I had by myself.

I'd needed it along the way, and I needed it right then even when it was all over. Focusing my vision to the reflection of myself in the window glass I could see only a shell of what I used to be. The therapist Hackett referred me to called it a form of post-traumatic stress disorder, in the military they just call it 'battle fatigue'. My strength was gone, every drop used up long before the whole thing was over, even with Tali giving it a jump-start. Looking at my reflection right then I was pretty sure that without her I would have simply died back on Earth due to lack of any kind of will to fight against the wounds. Even with no wounds left on my body, without Tali I would just die from the battle fatigue. It was that bad. So bad that I hadn't been able to stand being away from Tali during my recovery. It had been hell just not having her around. Not that I could ever admit to anyone that for a time there simply existing was a strain and painful both in mind and body.

And the press wanted to know what my future held?

Looking back at Earth I recalled something Tali had said when we got her people back on Rannoch and ended the war. How she couldn't look at the planet without seeing all the death and loss she had been through to get it back. I couldn't look at Earth without seeing the trillions of lost lives, the deaths of Mordin, Thane, and Legion or all the soldiers and friends on hospital beds with critical injuries. After everything that had happened, and after fighting so hard to get it back... I couldn't go back. It wasn't my home anymore. There was no place for me there. The war against the reapers had defined me so long it was hard to see my place in the universe after they were defeated. I wasn't even sure I could go back to living any semblance of a normal life.

Slender but muscular arms wrapped around me from behind. Arms that were once very slight and only tempered by engineering work on the flotilla but had over the years been hardened by near constant fighting. I touched her three-fingered hands gently and then stroked the soft, pale skin that normally only rarely saw the world out of her suit. Her bare breasts and skin pressed against my back as the quarian embraced me.

Tali spoke to me in that silky, sweet, and kind voice that made all the pain and hurt melt away, "Thinking too much again? If you keep doing that I'll have to punish you again."

There it was, her flirtatiousness in that sweet, wanting tone of hers. There was just something about the way she said it that drove me crazy deep down in my soul. Tali was normally reserved and mature, and had once been pretty shy. Something changed, or perhaps surfaced, back when she admitted her feelings for me and I told her they were mutual. When she discovered she did not have to hide her feelings she lost all fear of letting herself convey them to me. When she told me she loved me and wanted me, she was bolder than normal, let me know that her desire for me was deep and indescribably intense. Her flirtations always had a way of seeping into every crevice of my being and stir the embers of my heart. Just a simple tease drove me so wild I could barely contain my desire.

I didn't reply to her words and simply turned out of embrace so that I could grab her firmly and kiss her deeply. Every time we kissed it was a rush of emotions and fiery passions that threatened to consume us, but that time I needed it more and kissed her hungrily. I fought the urge to take her over to the bed and ravish her man times. I needed her that badly, I needed her that completely. I had given so much of myself that it felt like I had nothing left sometimes, and Tali knew it. I hadn't ever spoken it, but she could feel it. I knew she could because every time I kissed her like that she kissed me back in a way that felt like she was saying "Take my strength. I don't think less of you for needing me. I need you and want you to need me. I want to help you get your strength back, but if you can't then I'll be strength enough for two.

She broke off her reply kiss that night and kissed me gently on the neck, stroking her fingers across my body to reassure me. I pulled back enough to stop her kisses with another hungry kiss, but scaled back, trying to show her I felt a bit better with our intimacy alone. In reply her body told me she knew I was holding back and that I didn't need to. Nothing I wanted of her right then was not a mutual desire. So I pushed her back onto the bed, not even remembering or caring how we'd gotten there from the window, and we made love. We made love much like we had when I had first recovered. To tell the truth, ever since the day of the final battle we'd been at least holding hands or cuddling almost constantly. We'd been sequestered in my quarters for around a week at that point, naked and embracing even when we weren't having sex. The world was just us.

Laying there, thinking about everything and how severe and how insatiable my need for Tali was, it dawned on me that I did have a future. One that had always made my life brighter. One that was tracing the lines of the many scars on my torso and thinking too hard about the pain I was in. I gently grabbed that future's hand and kissed it, then smiled as I gazed into its eyes. I found strength again, right there in seeing her reacting to my pain. She was trying so hard to take that pain away. The desire to not make her need to was plenty strength enough to keep me alive and she was more than enough purpose for my life.

I would have to research quarian marriage customs at some point; but for the time being, I hadn't used up all my days of vacation from the universe. There was a lot more kissing to be done.

After one such kiss, I'm not sure which one or how many preceded it, Tali smiled and looked into my eyes, "Well, if getting you out of a bad mood is always going to be this much fun-"

Many more kisses cut her teasing short. Since neither of us could go home, we spent some more time lost in our own world. Both of us were probably thinking of the words she spoke before we headed to battle that day. Words spoken with sadness and fear of one of us dying and leaving the other behind, "I want more time." We had it. I would say we had as much as we wanted of it, but there was no such things as enough of it. Besides, saving all life in the known universe only earned you so much undisturbed intimacy. The return to that universe was unavoidable.

When we finally got dressed, I started the first actual conversation about reality. In hindsight, the statement was kind of abrupt, "I'm not sure if I should retire or not. Part of me will always be a soldier and can't not be one, while the other is spent and ready to make a life without death."

Tali was practical about it, but not happy about the truth in her words, "You saved the galaxy, Shepard, but there is a lot of rebuilding to do. You've made yourself the center of everything to get things done and I don't think you can walk away from it now."

"Yeah."

"Have they even appointed a new human councilor after the coup?"

"Oh god. They probably will offer me that won't they?" I groaned, "I hadn't thought of that actually. Thanks for pointing that out."

Tali grinned playfully at me, "Oo, are you in a bad mood again?"

I could only chuckle at her flirtatious prodding, it being one of the rare cases she could make innuendo and not turn me into a ravenous lustful beast, probably because it was only joking. I did come back with a reply to stay on topic though, "Maybe we could convince Joker to help us steal the Normandy and run off to have some kind of adventure. I mean, something has to be threatening the entire galaxy right?"

"Ha, ha, weren't you a broken shell just a couple hours ago?"

"I can find enough strength to flee from more political bull-crap. I ended two centuries-old blood feuds. Three if you count salarian and turian relations with the krogan as separate ones."

"Don't forget the rachni, and many races hated what they thought were the real geth."

"To hell with counting all that. Let's just say it was four." I stood up and walked over to the computer on the wall, looking up those quarian marriage customs I mentioned earlier, "I earned at least temporary retirement. I've been busting my ass so long that it's long past time I got to sit on it for a while."

I hadn't expected a lot of information on the customs. After all, since quarians mostly kept their information to themselves. I was probably far more knowledgeable than pretty much anyone about them, and I didn't know anything about the marriages. Another things I hadn't expected was Tali coming up behind me and casually hugging me from behind again. After the grab, I did have enough time to anticipate her reaction to the info on the screen, even though I didn't have the time to close the data before she saw it.

Anticipating her reaction and getting the prediction right were totally different things, I had expected a gasp of surprise and then elation, but instead she took her mask off once more to reveal her grin, and kiss me on the cheek, "Well, surprise ruined I guess." She blushed slightly pulling away from the hug to let me turn around. Oddly she became a bit awkward, something I hadn't seen her be in a while, "In my culture, the women normally ask, because childbirth is a very risky thing we give the women control over the decision to start a family. It doesn't really matter though... if you want to ask I really don't have to..."

Like I normally do when she is embarrassed I watched her hands a bit, as they always do amusing things. This time, she was toying with one of the pouches on her wrist. It occurred to me then, "Tali... where you going to propose?"

"Uh-um... I looked up human customs a bit and I... I didn't really know what kind I should get, the data wasn't that specific so..." she nervously pulled out a plain gold male engagement ring, "If this is fine, I... I mean."

"Tali, why are you so nervous? You just saw I was planning on proposing." I took the ring and slipped it on, "Of course I'll marry you. I don't just love you, I need you. Air is nothing compared to you."

Tali blushed again, "Well, um... good... I mean. Oh dear, what is expression I'm trying to make!"

"How about this one?" I pulled her close and kissed her deeply, the exchange lasting several minutes. When I broke it off we were even slightly winded.

"That works."

Noticing she wasn't getting another ring out I brought it up, "You do know these are bought in pairs right? You're supposed to have one too."

"Really? I screwed it up... I didn't get one." the fact she was so distressed was undeniably cute, but I quickly fixed her stress.

"Don't worry, I can get one easily. It would mean more to both of us if I got it for you I think. I already have some ideas for good ones."

Tali relaxed and smiled hugging me lightly, "That's not fair, you know the custom better than me. You're going to make my gift look ugly."

I smirked, "That's fine. The girl's ring is supposed to be nicer."

"Oh. Well that works out then."

Suddenly the com came online and Joker's voice came over the connection, "Is this a good time, Commander, you're needed at the earth embassy."

I looked to Tali and she nodded, with a smile I replied, "Yeah, Joker. I'll be right there. Should I dress to the nines or not?"

EDI chimed in, "I recommend your officer's uniform. Tone and mood indicates a 90% probability of receiving an honor of some kind."

"Noted." turning to Tali again, "I've got some shopping to do first.

Next Chapter: Staying Together

Preview: Next time, Shepard and Tali work to prevent obligations to their people from tearing them apart while still staying true to their duties. Will Shepard be appointed Councilor? Will Tali be able to balance her love with her duties as an Admiral? What will her people think if they find out one of their Admirals is dating a human?

Tali: They better not have a problem with it after all Shepard and I have done for them.

Shepard: Damn straight.