A/N:

Hello wonderful readers!

Quick bad news/good news: I whispered to some of you that this will be a double sized chapter, that would have taken me a few more days to polish. So, (good news) I decided to send out this update now, and you will get the second update in a couple of days. This chapter is titled 'pitching' the next one is titled 'woo.'

Thank you to those wonderful women who do so much for this story: orangeapeal, Sunshine, and Robsjenn.

I also want to thank abstract way for her wonderful friendship and terrific story, Animate Me.

This chapter goes out to katiebird3 and all those folks who endured the WFE NY Premier. (orangeapeal kept me a live during the ordeal).

Need a recap?:

*announcer's voice* Recently on She Gives Me Religion:

On the way home from a youth retreat, where Carlisle gave Edward tips on pitching woo, Edward received a phone call from Alice revealing Bella was not returning calls.
Edward freaked out during the van ride and, when finding Bella safe and sound in her apartment, freaked out on her—yelling, scaring her, then having desperate, rug burn creating sex.
On the phone, Alice yelled at Bella, then yelled at Edward for yelling at Bella.
Bella admitted to being on small doses of Valium to help her sleep, relax, and eat. She was using the weekend to get off her 'addiction.'
Bella offered her journal to Edward, who read a few things that taught him a little more about the women he loves.
They named Edward's angry/scared 16-year old alter ego, "Teddy." Bella told Edward she will not have sex with Teddy again.
In the morning, Edward dropped Bella off for her first therapy appointment and stormed into Jasper's office ready to give him the riot act for keeping Bella's Valium secret from him.
Jasper turned the tables, helped him see the necessity for Edward's return to therapy, and gave him orange juice.
Edward called Tabetha Varek, the personal shopper, and called his mechanic.
Bella came out of therapy with a homework list, two Xanax, and a three-day a week therapy schedule.
Edward asked Bella to dinner and a movie. He wants to pitch woo. She giggled.
Edward dropped Bella off at Newtons were she intends to tell her colleagues the truth about Mike.

Let's see what these kids are up to...

Chapter Twenty-four
Pitching

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"You want to buy underwear? We're Women's Lingerie, but I'd be more than happy to help you pick out underwear. Come with me, I'll take you to Menswear." Rachel turns and gestures for me to follow, but I stop her.

"No, not men's underwear, women's underwear, you know… um… panties."

"Panties?" Alicia and Rachel sing in unison, patronizing me.

I run my fingers through my hair and notice the attention we're drawing on the floor of the lingerie department.

"Not just panties, you know… lingerie, too. Nightgowns, or ah, nighties… whatever they're called." I know what they're called, I just feel silly saying it.

"He's buying women's lingerie," Rachel says arrogantly to Alicia, then in a quieter tone, she says, "you owe me."

"Wait, did you two have some sort of a bet?"

Alicia rolls her eyes, but then smiles. Reluctantly, she tells me, "When you were here last time, we made a bet if you had a girlfriend or not."

"Oh, yeah, I do, but I had just met her the last time I was here."

"Pity," she says, then gives a flirtatious smile as she pulls a pendant on her necklace back and forth.

I politely smile back, and look away feeling the warmth creep up my face. I can't help wishing they were drunk like the last time I was here; it was easier that way.

"So, Edward…" I'm grateful Rachel jumps in. "What kind of panties are you looking for?"

"Hipster? Thong? Bikini? G-string?" Alicia asks.

"How about basic high cut, or boy shorts?" Rachel suggests.

Boy shorts? "I don't know… I'm not sure what they are." My eyes dart back and forth between the two of them as they call out things I know nothing about.

"How about full briefs?" Alicia asks.

"Um, okay."

"Alicia, be nice." Rachel gives her a severe look.

"Are full briefs bad?" I'm sweating and my mouth is dry. Should tell them I a seminary student?

"Edward, I'm just teasing you." Alicia says.

"We have several matching sets, would you like to take a look at some?" Rachel asks more kindly; she knows I'm lost.

"Matching what? What matches? Matching underwear?"

"Bras. Bra and panty matching sets."

"Um, sure."

"Do you have her sizes?" Alicia asks.

"Sizes?" I am fully unprepared for this shopping trip. "I don't know… small? Medium?"

The women exchange looks.

"How about her bra?" Rachel asks.

"I don't know… small? Medium?"

"Do you know her cup size?"

Cups? I know what cups are… those are the letters. I stare at the women, bewildered.

"Edward, is she closer to my size or Alicia size?"

They both jut out their chests and I glance back and forth at their… bosoms, quite sure I shouldn't be, and wondering if this is a hidden camera prank. I think I should go.

"Um, you're two different sizes?" I scratch my head.

Their laughter tells me that they are different and I should have noticed.

"I told you two not to start without me," a man's voice booms from behind my shoulder.

Oh, thank God, it's Uncle Jay.

I open my arms and give Uncle Jay, my savior and favorite walking stereotype, a big hug, which he reciprocates.

"So, what have I missed?" he asks.

"Edward has a girlfriend," Alicia quickly responds.

"Aww. That's nice." Jay's voice is quiet and he talks to me like I'm the only one in the room. "I bet she's a doll, isn't she Edward?"

"Yes, she is, Jay… but I don't know the size of her cups." Mindlessly, I bring up my hands and try to show how they fit when I cup the soft weight of them.

Jay puts one hand on my back and uses his other to lightly push down my raised hands.

"Edward, I think they might be giving you a bit of a hard time," he says quietly. I catch him shaking his head and them. He puts his arm around me, and continues, "They're a wee bit jealous, and they like playing with you."

Oh.

"Edward, you don't know her bra size," he states, rather than asks.

"No, I don't."

"Of course you don't. You like them, but you don't think about clothing them."

"No, I don't. But I like them in clothes…and out of clothes," I quietly confess.

"Does she shop here often? We might have her size on file," Rachel says, sympathetically.

"No, I don't think she shops here. She doesn't… she doesn't have a lot of money and she's very careful with the money she does have."

Alicia and Rachel's expressions soften.

"You would like her… I know you would. I don't know her size, but she's small, slender," I stammer.

"Does she live at the gym?" Alicia says, and Rachel follows with an elbow to her ribs.

"No, she… she's not…" I'm getting flustered. For some reason, it's important for me to have them understand who Bella is, for them to like her. "Her name is Bella. She's down to Earth… and sweet." They're not impressed. "She's nice to everyone, even complete assholes, but I don't think it's easy for her, she works at it—and it takes a lot more strength to be nice…"

Now that I've started talking, I can't seem to stop. Digging my hands in my hair, I look at the floor and continue.

"She takes care of me even when I don't deserve it. And she's smart, she understands people really well, and she has a wicked sense of humor—but never at someone else's expense… she takes care of everyone, but she never asks for anything in return. She's selfless. And she gives me presents and I want to give her presents. Nothing slutty, just pretty and comfortable… um, she likes cotton. Something classy, like the two of you would wear," I gesture to Alicia and Rachel without looking up.

"Look, I don't know her size… but she's small, um, slender, but it's not because she lives at the gym, it's because she was very sad for a long time. I don't think her clothes fit anymore. She just wants to be happy, and I want her to be happy because I love her and she loves me."

There is silence. What started as an argument ends in my soliloquy. I've said too much. After a few long seconds, I raise my head, looking up to see five pairs of eyes staring at me. At some point, the personal shopper, Tabetha and Iris, the seamstress, joined the others.

Iris steps forward and offers her hand. Though her skin looks papery, it feels soft as silk in my hand. As we walk to the special dressing room for the filthy rich at the back of store, Iris tucks my arm under hers and I wonder if she would let me take her to lunch someday.

Less than a half hour later, Iris and I are sitting on the couch as Alicia and Rachel finish their profuse apologies and show me one pair of panties after another.

"You see, these are boy shorts, and we have a lot of these in cotton." Rachel pulls out a glossy catalogue picture of a model wearing the same pair. Oh, I've definitely seen these before, I just didn't know their name.

While Tabetha hunts down some things for me, Jay sits at her desk and observes. Anytime I'm unsure of a pair, I look to Jay and Iris for approval. For some inexplicable reason, I trust the panty insight of a gay man and an octogenarian woman better than my own.

"This pair looks uncomfortable," Alicia says sheepishly as she shows me a pair of black lace panties, "but they feel great on. They don't ride up. This is my favorite designer, Vannina Vesperini, and she's expensive, so if Bella doesn't splurge on herself, she might not have any of these."

"You wear these?" I ask before realizing the inappropriateness of the question.

"When I can… with my employee discount, I can treat myself to a of couple pairs a year."

"Bella works in retail, too."

"She does?" Rachel asks from behind Alicia. The two women look at each other and it is as if I just told them that Bella belongs to the same sorority. They serve people with money, but have little themselves.

I select an array of panties, including the pair Alicia suggested. After thorough discussion, we decide to only include one thong. I haven't seen her wear a pair yet, and as Rachel explains, women can be classified into two groups—those who like thongs and those who don't. I get the impression Bella and Rachel are in the 'don't' camp.

Surprisingly, selecting a nightgown is much easier—as soon as I see it, I know it should belong to Bella.

Rachel and Alicia gather my selections to have them gift wrapped, but Rachel stops at the door. "Edward, are you going to be trying on any pants?"

"I don't know." I look at Jay. "I like everything I bought last time, but I have a special date tonight, so maybe something new?"

Jay stands from his desk and walks around searching my face and cocking his head.

"What kind of look are you going for, rugged, outdoorsman? You have quite a bit of facial hair there."

"No, I think I'll shave for tonight."

"Rich business man on the town?"

"Mmm." No, that's not right. Bella said we should be sweet to each other. "What would you do to me to make me look sweet?"

"I'd slather you in butter and roll you in sugar." Alicia lets out a howl, but Jay looks nonplussed.

"What would you call what you're wearing?" I ask him.

"Impeccably dressed gay man working in designer shoes."

"That probably wouldn't be a good idea."

Jay is wearing gray and dark purple, I like his outfit, but I don't want to look…

Jay guides me to the mirror and stands beside me. "Like we discussed last time, with your green eyes, you should really capitalize on the plums and eggplants this season." He sounds like Esme with her fruit and vegetable colors.

"I think I can deflame this outfit for you," he says confidently as we look in the mirror.

"Edward, would you mind if I come back to see the final outfit?" Rachel asks shyly.

"Me too?" Alicia asks.

If I say no, I think I'd be betraying some family tradition. "Um, sure." Come back, but please don't make fun of me.

Later that afternoon, I'm standing on the tiny stage.

"Much better without the facial hair," Jay says as he inspects me. "I like the hair. The trim on the sides makes the top look longer." Easier for pulling.

I like the suit, not shiny at all. It's a gray Gucci suit and I'm wearing it with a white shirt and purple or 'plum' tie.

"Now don't forget, pick her up with the jacket off. If she's dressed to the nines, wear the jacket, it not, go without. She'll feel bad if she thinks she's under-dressed," Jay instructs me.

"The presents are all ready." Tabetha Varek has two boxes wrapped in heavy silver paper with ribbon that matches the color of my tie. "Are you sure about the card, Edward? We have gift cards that can range in any denomination you want."

"Thank you, Ms. Varek, but I'd rather give her the credit card. But we're putting it in a gift card envelope, right?"

"Right," she smiles sweetly.

I look over to Rachel and Alicia on the couch. Rachel is sitting forward resting her chin on her fist, and Alicia is nearly reclining with her hands clasped behind her head. Neither has said a word in ages.

I raise my arms, "Well?" and wait for their teasing.

"You're going to knock Bella's socks off, Edward. You look great." Rachel says.

"Absolutely… and I agree with Jay. She'll want to match your level of dress. If you can, call one of her girlfriends to see what she's wearing, that would help."

Not the response I was expecting. I wish I could call Alice, but I haven't made amends yet.

"Thanks, Alicia, Rachel. I'm going to bring flowers," I say, searching for and receiving additional praise.

I'm surprised by their turnaround from earlier today. Last time I was here, I thought that this is what it might be like to have sisters. But maybe this visit is a better example of a sibling relationship, teasing and embarrassment in one moment, and encouragement the next.

As I gather my things, Alicia approaches me. "When Bella comes in, tell her to ask for us. We'll help her with anything. She sounds like a gem."

I can handle their teasing, but I don't want them to tease my Bella.

"Thanks, Alicia."

I begin to walk out and Alicia grabs my arms again. She looks around to see that most people are occupied, then speaks quietly. "It is absolutely none of my business and I should probably shut up right now, but… when you said you were dating someone I figured she would be… well… never mind, none of my business."

The Tanya type.

"I think I understand."

"I swear, we'll treat her like gold." Her eyes are begging and remorseful. I believe her.

"Thank you," I give Alicia a hug, say my goodbyes, and head for the door where Iris is waiting for me.

I offer my arm, and we walk silently at Iris's slow pace through the store to the main entrance.

When we reach the door, I turn to Iris and she reaches her hand to my face. I bend down and feel her cold palm on my cheek.

"Did you make a mistake Edward?" her voice is thin, but her lilting Jewish accent is thick.

"Yes, I did, Iris."

"And you're trying to make up for it?"

"I guess so. I want to be a good boyfriend."

She nods, then stares directly in my eyes and raises a finger, "Best way to make up for a mistake is not to make the mistake again."

"I won't."

She gestures for me to come closer and I lean down far enough for Iris to press a kiss on my cheek, just like the last time.

"Thank you… Iris, can I come visit you sometime? I like talking with you."

Her blue eyes fill with water. She pats my cheek and says, "You're a good boy, Edward."

~o~

Holding both bouquets of flowers in one hand, and my jacket over my arm, I knock on Alice and Bella's apartment door. I can see the lower peephole darken for a moment, so I give Alice a small wave.

"Come on in, Edward," Alice says as she opens the door. Her voice reveals residual hard feelings. Turning her chair away from me, Alice wheels herself into the kitchen and I follow behind her.

"Bella is still getting ready."

"These are for you, both of you." I show her the flowers and, for only a second, I see Alice's mask slip.

"Thank you," she says with little expression, getting out two vases. It's only been a few days since I've seen her, but Alice is maneuvering around the kitchen with much more ease than before.

We don't speak, but together we work to fill the vases with water, pull off the leaves on each stem, and arrange the flowers.

"I'm schedule to take you to PT on Wednesday. It must be going well, it looks like you're doing great."

My comment doesn't break the flow of her work. "You don't have to take me, if you don't want, I can get another ride."

Aughhh. What are we doing here?

"Please, Alice."

"Please what?"

"Please yell at me. I'd rather you yell than give me the cold shoulder." I've lost my friend.

Laying down a Calla Lilly, Alice sighs, then turns her chair to me.

"I know I was too hard on you last night…"

"No..."

"Let me finish. I was too hard on you, but I'm still angry with myself for not intervening in Bella's relationship with the little prick sooner. I took it out on you." Alice looks up at me with doleful eyes.

"Alice, you were right to yell at me. I was being a complete bastard. I didn't see it at the time, but I deserved everything you said and more."

Alice looks at me for a few seconds, then nods once.

"I'm going to make it up to her, and I won't do it again."

"This date is a good start." She wheels herself away from me to inspect my outfit.

"Should I wear the jacket?"

"Yes, absolutely. I forced her to buy a new dress last week. She didn't think she'd have a chance to wear it, but I told her you'd come through."

"Thanks."

While I put on the jacket, Alice says, "Bella doesn't want me to be so overprotective." She sighs, "That's going to be hard for me."

"I think I'm supposed to pull back, too."

Alice gestures for me to bend over, and she fixes the dimple in my tie.

"Alice, I'm really going to try to be better." I stand back up. "I, um, I'm going to go to therapy," I stumble through my confession.

Alice rolls her eyes. "Honestly, the two of you are some pair. Why do you make such a big deal out of therapy? I see my therapist every week, just like my manicurist."

"You go to therapy?"

"I'm a Brandon. Brandons do therapy very well. You think I'm neurotic now, you should see me when I'm not seeing my therapist… well, you did."

"The hospital?"

"Yes. The Brandon three, floundering around without one of our therapists in sight, quite a show." She laughs once, then sighs. "Honestly, I didn't need a therapist in the hospital, I needed a friend. Thank you for being there."

"You're welcome."

"Now, if you told me I'd be dating a therapist someday, I'd never believe you."

"You really like Jasper."

"Yes, Edward, I really like Jasper." And I can tell I'll get nothing more out of her. Do they have some sort of a pact? "Edward, you know Bella is hiding in there until you and I apologize appropriately."

I get down on my knees.

"I know, and I'm glad. Alice Brandon, you are my friend, and I love you. I'm sorry I hurt you and your best friend. Please forgive me."

"Come here, handsome." I give Alice a hug and notice we're both getting better at hugging while she's sitting in Ruth. As she holds me in our embrace she whispers, "I love you too, Edward…" then adds, " I don't think you'd ever hurt her, but you know if you do, I'll come after you with something sharp." Though I'm sure she would, there is lightness in her voice as she threatens me. I think she trusts me.

"I'll hand you the weapon," I say before pulling away and kissing her forehead.

We hear Bella emerge from the bedroom. I stand and straighten my jacket.

"Wow, you look beautiful, Bella… Isabella." She likes it when you call her Isabella… don't fuck this up.

Bella is wearing a dress in a shiny material that is the same color as my tie. There are little roses made out of the same fabric decorating her neckline. I can see a little cleavage. Where did that come from? The outfit has a short matching jacket that shows off her small waist. She's wearing heels, really high heels.

I want to touch her.

"Your hair… how did it get so long?" Bella's silky hair covers her breasts, nearly reaching her elbows.

"I straightened it. Alice helped."

I look at Alice and she smiles proudly at me. I think I'm saying the right things.

"You like it straight?" Bella asks.

"Straight… wavy… I like it all."

I take Bella's hand, raise it to my lips and kiss it. I aim for gallant, but I think I might look goofy. Her eyes are clear, depthless, and Bella's eyelashes are long and dark; her lips are pinkish-purple and glossy. Make-up.

"Hey, we match," I say, noticing the color combination again.

"It looks like we're going to prom," Bella says, fidgeting with her jacket. I think she might be as nervous as I am.

In this moment, I'm glad I didn't go to my prom, because now I get to go with Bella.

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More to come, soon.

Yes, the WFE NY Premier inspired Saintward's outfit. He was sooooo pretty that day. I mean Rob was pretty-of course. I can distinguish the two (sort of).

Want a topic to discuss? Rachel and Alicia, really, can you blame them? How will Bells react to gifts?

Love to know what you think-

Liz x