I know, I know. I'm still horrible. This chapter was actually supposed to be longer but since it's been a little over a month since my last update, I wanted to stop it where it was so I could update and make all of y'all happy. :) So this is actually going to be a two-part chapter, and I'm working on the second half now. Hopefully it won't take very long, but school just started back up and I'm just a broke college kid so I'm swamped with work and classes.

Anyway, I hope y'all like this chapter and please, please review...you guys are the best form of inspiration ever.

And Brittany...you didn't even have to give me an electronic kick in the pants this time! Can't wait to hear what you think!

Mikaela woke up the morning of her birthday to find herself alone. She lay in bed thinking maybe Sam had just gone to the bathroom or to the kitchen for a glass of water, but the house was silent. He hadn't said anything the night before about leaving early to run an errand, but maybe he just went to his parents' house for some reason. He tried to spend quality time with his mom since they would be leaving in the next week to go back to the East Coast for the fall semester and she still wasn't totally happy with him living at Mikaela's, but it was Tuesday and she was at work—meaning, there was no way he was spending time with her.

Surely, though, he would've at least woke her up to tell her where he was going especially today of all days. A glance at the clock told her it was a little after 9:00. They usually didn't get out of bed until close to 11 since it was summer and they didn't have to work. One good thing about all this Decepticon crap was they were essentially set for life. So if he wasn't with his mom and he wasn't working…where could that boy possibly be?

He'd better not have forgotten my birthday and rushed out to get something while I was asleep, Mikaela thought as she reached for her phone. Of course, he'd never forgotten it before so it was unlikely he had this time. Again, the question remained: where was he?

"Just wanted to see where you were since you're not here. Call me when you get this," She left a message when he didn't answer.

Ideally, she would've liked to turn over and go back to sleep but since she was wide-awake she decided instead to get up and take a shower. This was her first birthday without her dad and she wanted to go to the cemetery. It was true he'd missed several of them during the time he was in prison, but there had always been a card and a letter waiting for her. A part of her had always resented the few pieces of paper that took his place, but now she wished for the prison-issued items. It was going to be hard making it through the day knowing she would have neither, and she hadn't been prepared for how much it would hurt.

In the bathroom, she let her tears fall freely. Her dad would never have won father of the year, but she still loved him. Nobody was perfect and she understood that his mistakes had cost him more than some, but despite all the bad things he'd done she would still give anything to have him back. Sometimes she forgot he had died with the kidnapping happening so soon after learning he was gone, and she wasn't sure she'd really been able to grieve. Maybe that was why she suddenly felt like there was a hole in her heart the size of Texas and it hurt to breathe. All the things she would miss suddenly hit her full force: who would walk her down the aisle? What about when they had kids, who would be their grandpa? Logically, she knew Ron would adore his grandchildren but it wasn't enough. Who would teach her little boy all about cars and how to fix them? A love of cars had been passed down in her family for generations; she still remembered her own grandpa tell his stories about working on cars with his dad.

Mikaela slid down the shower wall when the tears came so hard she could no longer support herself. The water had already turned cold but she never noticed. Guilt consumed her for taking so long to break down over the loss of her dad; although she knew if he had been watching over her he would not blame her. Another small part of her grew angry that Sam was nowhere to be found when she needed him the most, but there had been no way to predict she would lose it today. He would be there if he had known, so she forced herself to let it go. There was no sense in being mad at him when she knew he would be furious enough with himself for not being there if he ever knew how upset she was.

Then again, maybe it was best he didn't know. He would never let her go to the cemetery alone in the state she was in, and that was something she needed to do by herself. Not only was it her birthday, it would be the first time she actually visited his grave. Right after getting back to town, she'd tried to go see him but couldn't make it any farther than the gate. She thought that would have caused her to lose it and break down into tears, but instead it almost had the opposite effect. Ever since then, it was like she completely blocked her dad's death out of her mind. Despite living in his house or selling the shop and the truck, she refused to think about it. Obviously she knew it had happened, but if she didn't think about it then it couldn't hurt her.

There was no ignoring her dad's absence on her birthday, however. The man was gone, never coming back, and she never got to tell him she loved him one last time.

Somehow, she found the inner strength to stop the tears long enough to finish her shower and get ready. One look in the mirror revealed puffy, red eyes but she ignored it in an attempt not to start bawling again before she got to his grave.

What a great way to start her birthday: an absent fiancée and finally mourning the loss of her father.

She wasn't really in the mood to put a lot of effort in the way she looked; after all, she was just going to talk to a concrete gravestone that represented all she had left of her father.

It was another 30 minutes before she got to the gates of the cemetery. This was where she'd stopped that one time before and, with a deep breath, she drove through and back to where she knew his grave was. Her aunt had given her directions once she got back to town and the hand drawn map was burned into her brain.

Her eyes were already filling up with tears as she talked from the car to his grave.

"Hi daddy," Mikaela whispered and reached out to touch the gravestone with her fingertips. "I miss you."

She sat with her back against the concrete, her thoughts all over the place and jumbled up in one big mess.

"I guess it's crazy thinking you'll say something back," A tear slipped down her cheek. "It's my birthday. The first without you. But you already know that, don't you?"

In the movies, this was the moment where a ghost of the lost loved one would appear and provide some form of comfort; give the survivor a sense of direction and how to move on. However, this was real life and Mikaela was still all alone with nothing but a headstone and her thoughts.

"Sam proposed to me. He did it on New Year's Eve and it was perfect. I wish I could've told you that while you were still here, but I never expected you to die. There's so much I'd change if I could go back. I should've tried to help you more after you got out. If you were here, I know you would tell me it's not my fault and deep down I know that but I should've done something."

Tears fell with the same intensity as they had only an hour before.

"I'm sorry it took so long for me to come here. I know you're watching over me so you know what's happened but that's no excuse. I want you to know I don't hate you. I forgive you for everything that happened. I hate that I never got the chance to tell you that or that I love you because I could really use another one of your hugs. I'd give anything to tell you that.

"I'm sad you won't get to walk me down the aisle and give me away. I don't know who will, but I know you'll be there too. You're not here and I can't see you, but you're in my heart. I love you daddy and I miss you so much."

Mikaela continued to talk to her dad for a while longer. Even before his death, it had been months since she talked to him last so there was plenty she had to tell him. Tears continued to fall long after she thought they would have dried up.

She told him about the three months she'd spent in that room, went deeper into detail about the beatings she'd sustained and the all-consuming fear she'd felt than she ever had with Sam. It was easier to let it all out to someone who wasn't technically there where she would be forced to see the horror on his face. Sam would want her to talk about it, she knew, but he already punished himself enough over it that she didn't want to tell him how bad it really was.

An hour passed by without her even knowing it. Mikaela had run out of things to say, but she wasn't ready to leave yet. By now her throat was scratchy from talking so much and a fresh wave of tears came pouring out when she realized she just said more to her dad's gravestone than she ever had to the man when he was alive. Her heart was heavy with a slew of regrets, but if there was one thing she knew about her dad it was that he would not want her to dwell on his death. Only 20 years old, her whole life was blossoming in front of her and he would want her to move on and focus on her future.

After sitting in the silence for close to another half hour, she finally felt a sense of peace. The grief had yet to pass and she knew she wasn't close to being okay, but for the first time she finally accepted he was gone. Moving on would take some time, but she had a man at home who would hold her hand every step of the way.

"Where have you been?" Sam demanded the instant she walked in the door. "I've been calling you for an hour."

"I went to the cemetery to see my dad," Mikaela tossed her keys on the counter and went to grab something to drink from the refrigerator.

"You couldn't have called and told me that? Hell, even a text would've been nice," He said still upset. "You can't just disappear like that. I almost called Lennox."

"You weren't even here when I woke up and you didn't answer your phone when I called," She walked over to where he stood and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I'm sorry. I should've told you but I needed to go and that's all I was thinking about. Can we please not fight? I've cried my eyes out for the last three hours and I really just want you to hold me."

"Oh, baby. I'm not mad. You just worried me when you wouldn't answer," He kissed the top of her head. "I would've gone with you."

"I know, but I needed to go by myself."

"You okay?"

"Not really, but it's gonna get better," She put on a brave smile but he knew she was still hurting. "And I have you."

"You'll always have me," Lips touched her forehead tenderly. "I have something that will cheer you up if you feel up to it."

"Is it why you were gone earlier?"

"Yes, and before you say anything—no I didn't forget your birthday and get something at the last minute," Sam quirked an eyebrow when she got a sheepish look on her face. "Give me some credit, babe. Close your eyes."

Mikaela felt him place his hands on her hips to guide her out of the kitchen. Based on the directions he took her and the short distance, she figured they were in the living room when they stopped. Curiosity rolled off her in waves and the complete lack of sound gave no clues as to what awaited her.

"Open your eyes," Sam whispered and stepped back.

Sitting on the couch when she opened her eyes were Christian, Rachel, and Balie. Her eyes darted from the girls to Sam and back to the girls before finally resting on Sam.

"What…how…they're here?" The last part sounded questioning.

"Thank you for clearing that up," Sam laughed.

"Ohmigod, they're here!" Mikaela ran to the couch and tried to hug all three at once. "Wait…why are they here?"

"Here's the real surprise," He pulled something from his back pocket and brandished it with a smile. "You four ladies are going shopping."

"Sam," Mikaela cut him off.

"I know you're gonna say it's too much and none of you can take it, but I want to do this," Sam looked each girl in the eye. "The money isn't an issue. Whether you spend 50 bucks a piece or two grand, all I care about is that y'all have a great time."

"Baby, I love you and this is amazing," Mikaela moved over to where he was standing. "But you can't keep spending tons of money on me. First the car and now this? I don't need extravagant gifts every Christmas and birthday."

"I know, but we almost didn't get to celebrate your birthday," His eyes got a haunted look in them and they knew he was referring to the kidnapping. "So yes maybe this is outrageous, but it's completely worth it to me and I'll do it over and over again if it means you're here to argue with me about spending too much money on you."

"The best gift you can give me is a kiss and an 'I love you,'" She said softly and reached for his hand. "I don't need a credit card with no limit."

"Well I love you," He said then kissed her on the lips. "Please just take it and understand that I really want to do this."

"And if I say no?"

"That's your choice I guess," Sam shrugged. "I'm gonna go take a nap. Come see me before you leave?"

"Are you mad?" Mikaela bit her lip worriedly. She could tell this meant a lot to him, but even though he was giving it to her, she felt like using his credit card to pay for their shopping spree was taking advantage of him.

"As long as you go out and have a great time, even if you don't spend anything, I'll be happy," She still didn't look convinced, "I promise."

Sam disappeared back to their bedroom. He'd had to be to the airport by 10 because Balie's plane landed at 10:25 so he'd been forced to leave the house at 8:30. Rachel's plane was a little late but Christian's flight wasn't due to land until 11:45 so the 20-minute delay hadn't been an issue. Needless to say, having to wake up at 7:30 instead of almost 11 like he was used to was no fun for the young man. He hadn't planned to go with them anyway so while they were gone he would take a nap.

Unfortunately, now he felt like an insensitive jackass. The thought that this could be a bittersweet birthday without her dad had never crossed his mind. On a day like today, she should have never woke up alone because he forgot. It was just he'd put so much thought and effort into coordinating flights from three different cities and making sure she had her best friends here with her that it never occurred to him she may not have even wanted to celebrate it this year.

Downstairs, the three visitors were still watching their friend hesitantly. Her eyes were still staring at the hallway where Sam had disappeared to the bedroom several moments ago. This had the makings of an argument like all the ones they seemed to have lately. His heart was in the right place so she couldn't really be mad at him, but she didn't want pricey gifts for every important occasion. Every once in a while was fine yet he'd bought her the Camaro for Christmas which was in no way cheap and now he wanted her to go out and rack up a ridiculous credit card bill.

"Well happy birthday love," Christian broke the silence. Balie and Rachel echoed similar sentiments.

"I'm so glad you guys are here," Mikaela smiled brightly for the second time that day and fell onto Christian's lap where they sat on the couch.

"Your boy is one of a kind," Balie laughed. "He's the only guy I know who would fly his girl's three best friends into town for a night from across the country and then hand off a credit card and say 'have fun.'"

"Yeah, he's something alright," She looked in the direction of their bedroom. "And I think I hurt his feelings. Let me go talk to him and then we can go."

"Do something with your hair. I'm not goin' in public with you looking like that," Rachel teased and Mikaela threw a pillow at her.

"Bitch," She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Make yourselves at home while I go talk to Sam and make myself presentable enough to be seen in public with Queen Rachel over there."

Mikaela sidestepped the retaliating pillow from Rachel and laughed at the dirty look thrown her way as she walked back to where her fiancée was laying in the bed. He didn't hear her come in so she crawled on the end of the bed and straddled his waist.

"You're upset," She stated after seeing his face.

"Kind of," He admitted.

"Why?"

"I just wanted you to have a birthday you'd never forget but you hate it and I never even thought about the fact you may not want to celebrate it because of your dad and I wasn't here when you woke up," Mikaela reached down and laced her fingers through his on his stomach.

"I don't hate it. The girls being here is the best surprise ever. I just don't want you to think I expect a ridiculously expensive present every Christmas or birthday or whichever holiday in between," She said softly.

"I know you don't. I just wanna give you the world."

"Baby you already gave me the world," She moved her hands until they rested over his heart. "That's all I need."

"Are you mad at me?" Sam looked up at her nervously. "For spending too much money?"

"No, but this means you can't go crazy at Christmas," Mikaela smiled and kissed him. "Just tell me one thing."

"What's that?"

"Am I gonna get to spend any time with my fiancée on my birthday?"

"Absolutely," He pulled her arms so she was forced to lay flat against his chest. "You're mine tonight." His lips met hers in a fiery kiss.

"Mmm, I can't wait," She smiled against his lips. "I gotta get ready before the girls get mad. I love you."

"I love you too," He let her get up and watched her from his back. "Call me in a little while. And please don't leave with anyone but them okay?"

"Yes sir," Mikaela rolled her eyes at his protectiveness. "I'll be home soon. I promise."