Remus pulled back and looked away, aware that he had probably overstepped his bounds. Stupid, stupid man. What did you do that for? She's just told you about the pain she's gone through and you decided it's a good idea to kiss her? She probably only thinks of you as a friend, a parental figure, a perfectly platonic relationship that you just ruined. Honestly...
"Remus?" Hermione's voice broke into his thoughts. He looked back towards her, dreading seeing the horror or pity he was sure would be in her eyes. When he met her eyes he saw neither of those things. The expression on her face seemed to be one of pleased confusion.
"Hermione, I, um, what I mean is, erm." He trailed off as she began to laugh softly. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth and blushed slightly before leaning toward him. She hesitated and he closed the gap between them, kissing her again. He smiled inside as she returned the kiss, his hand coming up to slide into her hair as he kissed her more deeply. Her lips opened with a sigh and he slid his tongue into her mouth, feeling her respond passionately to him. After a few moments longer she pulled back from him.
"I, yeah, wow." He grinned smugly at her inability to form sentences. She took a deep breath and tried again. "While I'd very much like to spend my afternoon kissing you, it's not exactly appropriate." She smiled softly at him, trying to show that it really was just the fact they were in her office that she was objecting to.
Remus nodded once, then started gathering his papers. "Well, Miss Granger, I think we've covered a lot of the basics this morning, I'll speak to some of the prominent members of the Werewolf community and see what they think, maybe we could meet again later in the week?" Hermione might have been hurt by his suddenly business-like tone if it weren't for the cheeky grin on his face and the definite sparkle in his eyes. He walked around the desk to put the documents into his briefcase then leant across and brushed his lips against hers. "Join me for dinner tonight?" Hermione smiled brilliantly and nodded. "Great. I'll pick you up at seven then." He walked quickly to the door and smiled once more before leaving, an obvious spring in his step.
Hermione smiled to herself and leant back in her chair. She didn't know what had prompted her to spill her heart to Remus, but it seemed to be the right choice. Somehow her heart felt lighter from just telling the story, and Remus seemed to understand. He'd been hurt too, and maybe they could help each other heal. But then there was a part of her, a small but insistent part, that was steadily berating her for being stupid enough to open her heart to someone. You'll just get hurt. Yes, he's Remus and seems nice, but so did Kyle. At least on your own you don't get your heart broken. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, willing herself to stop thinking these thoughts. She was a Gryffindor, damn it. She'd played a central role in a war against one of the most evil wizards to ever live. She could surely find enough courage to give a relationship with a handsome, intelligent older man a chance. Besides, anyone who could render her speechless with just a kiss was worth the chance.
Suddenly she smiled to herself, her decision made. Seeing where this thing with Remus was headed might end in heartache, but it might be the best thing she'd ever done. She'd lived through, and lost, too much to live a life of what-ifs. She pulled the notes they had made on the Werewolf laws towards her and started to write them up, feeling content in a way she hadn't for some time.
Remus stood in front of mirror, his chest and feet bare, a shirt in each hand. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so nervous, but then he couldn't remember the last time he'd asked a woman out for dinner either. Tonks had pushed so hard for so long that he'd merely fallen in with her, no need for nerves. He smiled sadly to himself as he realised that the last time he had been on a real first date was back in Hogwarts. He remembered being stood in the dormitory, almost shaking with nerves at the idea of taking a pretty muggle-born Hufflepuff to Hogsmeade. He recalled the wide-eyed looks Peter was giving him, and the advice from James and Sirius, most of it completely useless. He shook his head at himself, amazed and feeling slightly pathetic that it had been over twenty years since he tried to start some sort of relationship. While there had been women after the Hufflepuff girl and before Tonks they were generally casual, brief interludes in his somewhat lonely life, meaning that he was stood at forty preparing for only the second first date he'd ever been on.
Suddenly he started to laugh as his thoughts wandered. This was, technically speaking, their second date, thanks to a pair of meddling Weasleys. And while that evening had started awkwardly it had been nice, and this should be easier, knowing where they stood a little more. With a new burst of confidence he turned back to the mirror, holding each of the shirts up, trying to decide which to wear, grateful that he didn't have to endure the comments his sixteen year old self had been subjected to from Sirius all those years ago.
Hermione was smiling softly as she opened her door to Remus. As she took in his appearance she began to laugh. He glanced at himself, wondering what had amused her so much. As he raised his eyes to her again he realised what had made her laugh and grinned.
"I always knew we were a pair of Ravenclaws at heart," he said, gesturing from his own outfit to hers, his linen shirt and her cotton wrap dress in almost identical shades of blue.
Hermione smiled back, her eyes full of amusement. "I think it shows a wonderful amount of taste on both our parts," she said. "You look very dashing in that colour too." Her cheeks coloured slightly as she complimented him.
"Thank you, you look beautiful." She blushed even more at his words "Are you ready to go?" Hermione nodded and took the arm Remus offered, only pausing to pick up her bag and lock and ward her house behind her.
Placing his hand over hers on his arm Remus apparated them to a non-descript side street that Hermione didn't recognise. Her only clue to their location was the sound of waves in the distance.
"Where are we?" she asked, looking round curiously as he led her along the street in the direction of the sound of the waves.
"Cornwall," Remus replied. "A few miles along the coast from Land's End. There are lots of little fishing villages here, and this one has the most beautiful fish and steak restaurant I've ever been to. It looks over the harbour and out to the sea, the view is pretty this time of year, but it's stunning when the weather's stormy in winter. The waves crash against the harbour wall and the spray flies up in the air, dancing in the wind like it's alive. The clouds and the sea are the same shade of grey and seem to go on forever. It's a spectacular sight, humbling in its own way."
As he spoke he had been guiding Hermione along the narrow road that edged the harbour, and now he pushed open the yellow wooden door that marked their destination. In a few minutes they were sat at a table in the window, looking out over hardy fishing boats and brightly coloured pleasure boats in the calm harbour. They could hear the screech of the gulls through the open window, and smell the salty fishy scent unique to fishing towns.
"You sound like you really love this place," Hermione said as they looked at their menus.
"I do," he replied. "I had a job near here not long after the end of the first war. It wasn't much of a job but something about this place helped to heal me. It's been a long time since I visited though. I didn't want to come while the war was raging and then afterwards I didn't because Dora preferred busier places. She didn't really appreciate the quiet beauty of this sort of place." His eyes held the same pain they had earlier in her office, and she reached across the table to take his hand in hers.
"I think it's beautiful. And the Monkfish looks beautiful too," she said with a smile. Remus returned the smile and turned his eyes to his own menu.
They talked about anything and everything as they ate, enjoying the food and the setting, but mostly each other's company. After their meal they walked along the harbour wall, watching the red ball of the sun sink into the soft blue sea away in the west. Hermione shivered slightly in the breeze that seemed cool without the warmth from the early summer sun, and Remus gently pulled her closer to him, his arm around her shoulder. As they reached the end of the wall Hermione turned towards him, her eyed bright in the diming light, the sunset catching the range of colours in her hair.
Suddenly Remus was aware of how like a moment in a slightly cheesy film it was, and Tonks' words echoed in his mind. You're the big bad wolf, not Prince Charming. Although the affection in Hermione's gaze seemed real eventually she would come to the same conclusion; he was not what women dreamed of, he was the monster, not the hero. And when she did realise that she'd leave him, and his heart couldn't cope, not again. His chest constricted as he looked at her face, beautiful in the dying light. He stepped away from her and tried not to see her hurt and confusion.
"I'm sorry, Hermione," he said, and he turned on the stop and apparated away.
On the edge of a harbour wall in Cornwall the setting sun glinted off the tears on a young woman's cheeks, while a tired figure sat in a worn couch in a townhouse in London, his head in his hands.
A/N Sorry it's been a while, life is pretty crazy. Thanks for all the lovely reviews, they make me smile and I'm really grateful. Feel free to leave another :)