Pre Chapter notes: Had to rewrite my "A Hero's Ascent parody" because script format is against the rules. In this story Rika is me. The reason why I didn't write in first person mode is because I prefer not to write in first person mode unless I have actually experienced a situation like this in real life, "And since this is a fantay story, I obviously did not experience this in real life." Sarah is my sister in real life, and Simies is a real cat. So um yeah, on to the story.
Three creatures sat on top of a tall hill overlooking the skylands. The grass around them waved and bent as the wind swept over the hill. One of the creatures bore the appearance of a human; however she had light blond and orange feathers with specks of white covering her body. The green eyed feathered girl tore at a stalk of grass, trying desperately to entertain herself. The girl's sister, a bird like girl with long blond hair and deep brown eyes fiddled with a Rubix Cube. The third creature, a Siamese cat, tried not to blink as a fat bee landed on her nose. The cat sighed in boredom, sending a gust of breath at the bee.
The bee, who was not too pleased about being breathed on, stung the cat's nose.
"Damn it!" The cat shouted furiously.
"I'm bored." The green eyed girl said.
"Same." Her sister replied.
"Hey Simies, any ideas for entertainment?" The green eyed girl asked.
"Ideas that don't include being stung by bees." Simies grumbled.
"That would be preferred." The brown eyed girl said.
The cat closed her eyes and thought for a moment, before speaking.
"We could go on an adventure."
"Sounds good, I even have an idea for an adventure we could go on!" the green eyed girl exclaimed enthusiastically, holding up a stack of papers to her companions.
"Rika, where in the world did you get those papers?" the brown eyed girl asked in confusion.
"Honestly Sarah, you still question me?" Rika responded.
"Well it's settled; let's go find some place that has action."
The three companions now stood in a broad grassy field, watching as a swarm of wasps flew by. Rika had no clue why the wasps were so large, considering that their size defied science, she didn't worry too much though, for she and her friends defied science as well.
"Hey, look over there." Simies said to Rika, pointing to where two elves were running for their lives.
Rika looked to the elves, and suddenly an idea came to her head. Rika whipped out a microphone,"Which she conveniently carried with her" and started to speak in to it.
"One fine day, in the ghetto land known as the skylands…."
Sarah smirked as she realized what her sister was planning, and she decided to annoy her sister.
"What do you mean by ghetto? The skylands are awesome!"
Rika glared at her sister in annoyance, and was thinking of a cunning reply when she heard Simies shout out.
"Let the narrator narrate!"
Rika smiled at her cat, pleased that the feline wanted the adventure to continue. Rika then turned to the microphone and spoke once more.
"One fine day in the ghetto land known as the skylands…"
Simies and Sarah turned to each other and smirked; they then turned to Rika and spoke up.
"You covered that already." Sarah and Simies said in unison.
Rika glared at her companions, and her right eye started to twitch violently. Her feathers quivered with frustration, and she sunk her talons in to her hand to prevent herself from scratching at her cat and sister. The bird girl then began to speak rapidly in to the microphone so her cat and sister couldn't cut her off.
"One fine day in the ghetto land known as the skylands two idiot friends… I mean best friends, yeah best friends, were running from a swarm of oversized wasps. How the hell wasps could grow to such an insanely large size is beyond me, but it's in the script, so…"
Simies glared at Rika, and then leapt at her. The Siamese cat raised a paw and swatted Rika over the head.
"Narrate the fucking story!" she snarled. The cat was frustrated with how long setting up the adventure was taking.
Rika glared at the cat in disgust, not even bothering to point out that she couldn't narrate if Simies and Sarah kept interrupting her.
"Fuck this shit!" Rika shouted, her frustration finally overwhelming her, "I'll let the characters narrate this story themselves!"
With those words the bird girl angrily whipped out a tub of popcorn.
"Where the hell did you…?" Sarah began to ask. The older bird girl trailed off, realizing that her sister wouldn't give her a sensible answer.
"Never mind…"
The three companions watched in amusement as the two elves they saw earlier ran for their lives.
"Runnnnnn!" and elf by the name of Flameslinger wailed, "The wasps are coming!"
"No shit, that's what the narrator said!" his companion Sophia (Stealth elf) replied.
"They know I'm here?" Rika gasped in astonishment.
"No shit Sherlock." Simies replied.
Rika stared in shock as she saw Flameslinger turn and fight the wasps.
"What is he doing? He'll be killed!" Rika shouted furiously. Now her only source of entertainment would die.
"He's an idiot remember." Simies replied.
Meanwhile Sophia was still running from the wasps because she thought that Flameslinger was still with her.
"Nah, Nah, Nah, you can't catch me cause I'm super…" Sophia said, mocking the wasps, she trailed off though as she realized her companion wasn't with her.
"Oh shit… where did Flameslinger go!" Sophia shouted, thinking about how Eon would punish her if he found out that Flameslinger was dead.
"Gee maybe you should go look for him like the script dictates." Rika muttered as she shuffled through a stack of papers.
"That's a great idea!" Sophia shouted, running off to find her companion.
"Dumbass!" Simies growled, banging her head against a rock in frustration. She really didn't want to put up with these idiots.
Sophia ran toward the swarm of wasps, realizing that Flameslinger must have tried to fight them. Frustration flooded the elf as she saw that her companion was unconscious and covered with poison stingers.
"Damn it Flameslinger!" Sophia snapped.
Suddenly bright lights rained down from the sky, striking the wasps and killing them all. Sophia winced as a mound of carnage rose up around her. A strange elf ran through the lights, and stepped in front of Sophia.
"Hi!" the stranger said in an upbeat perky tone.
Sophia found herself hating this stranger, and she didn't know why. It was almost as if a voice from outside the skylands was telling her that this stranger was evil, and telling her not to trust her.
"I hate you!" Sophia shouted before she could comprehend her emotions.
"What the hell!" the stranger shouted, "I saved your life and you hate me?"
"It's in the script…" Sophia muttered, looking at a stack of papers in her hand. She had no clue where the papers came from, but she decided not to question how she got them. It was as if a God of some sort was telling her to obey the papers.
"Well that's dumb! Which idiot wrote this script?"
Rika felt herself burn with fury as she was called an idiot. The insane part of her, "Which was most of her" told her to lunge at the stranger and kill her, but the rational part of her "Which she didn't quite understand how to use" told her to hide from the stranger. For once in her life, Rika obeyed the rational part of her, and hid behind a conveniently located palm tree.
"Meh who care's who wrote this script?" Sophia grumbled indifferently.
"Point taken and besides, I want a smoothie!" the stranger replied.
"Smoothies!" Sophia exclaimed cheerfully. Sophia and the stranger then walked back to the ruins so they could get a smoothie.
"I find it odd that they just abandon Flameslinger." Rika mumbled.
"I can take him back to the ruins for you, for a fee of course." Simies said.
"How much do you want?" Rika asked.
"Five bucks." Simies replied.
Rika seriously didn't want to give up any of her money, but she was far too lazy to drag Flameslinger all ten steps to the ruins, so she decided to pay the cat.
"Pleasure doing business with you." Simies said as she chomped down on Flameslinger ears.
"Bite me…" Rika replied.
Sarah, Simies, and Rika then returned to the ruins.
This is what happens when I disaprove of a story I write. I make a parody out of it.