A/N: Again thanks for all the reviews and alerts :)

Chapter 3

After it got dark Gibbs came inside to prepare dinner, with Abby reluctantly looking on. They sat outside and ate with the only light coming from the moon and several small lanterns that sat on the edge of the porch. Every now and then they would talk about menial things, never once bringing up what had almost happened only hours ago. Feeling the slight chill of the air Abby had taken Gibbs' black hoodie from on top of his bag, the soft material now keeping her warm in more ways than one.

Abby eventually went to have a shower while Gibbs washed and dried the dishes. Standing under the spray of the shower she let the warm water wash over her, wondering how long she was going to be able to keep her hands to herself. When she had agreed to come here with Gibbs it had never been her intention to admit her feelings to him, but now that they were alone for four days stopping herself was not going to be easy.

She took her time getting ready for bed, drying and brushing her hair, cleaning her teeth and applying some night cream. When she finally stepped out of the bathroom it was to find Gibbs asleep on the end of the bed. He'd made it up for her and now lay across it on his side, his head resting on the pillow she'd been using throughout the day. Abby wanted to snuggle up behind him and curl her body around his, to kiss his neck and nuzzle her face into his short hair. He looked so relaxed and vulnerable, and she found herself wishing he'd been laying the proper way on the bed so she could pull the covers over them both and fall asleep with her arms around him.

After quietly placing her clothes on top of her bag, Abby walked over to the bed and sat lightly down beside him. As the minutes ticked by she just sat there, needing to be close to Gibbs but unsure what to do. Eventually the needs of her body won out and she lay down next to him. Shifting closer to his back Abby lifted her arm over him and rested her hand on his stomach.

"Thought you were setting up camp in there," Gibbs mumbled.

Abby could hear the humor in his sleepy voice and she grinned and shook her head. "I had girly things to do."

"Can't rush perfection hey, Abbs?" His hand came to lay over hers, the gesture seeming completely natural to her.

She raised herself up onto her elbow just enough to be able to look down on him, her hand remaining on his abdomen. Did he really think she was perfect? Every little thing he did for her made her feel special, but him thinking she was perfect was something different entirely. Even though he could be grumpy and demanding at times Abby had never been able to think badly of him. When he left her to go to Mexico after losing his memory, and after finding out he'd killed Pedro Hernandez, it was still impossible for her to believe that he wasn't a good man. She knew he wasn't flawless, no-one was, but to her Gibbs came pretty close. He was perfect in every way that mattered to her.

She wanted to stay like this with him all night, to let his warmth sooth her tired body and let his nearness ease her mind. The quick hugs they exchanged in her lab when she gave him results were nothing like this. Abby knew because of the way she needed physical contact with her friends and especially with Gibbs, that he wouldn't think anything of the way she was holding him. But the longer she stayed there, the more it meant to her.

Even though Abby knew he'd say no, her words were out of her mouth before she had a chance to change her mind. "I know you'll say you're going to sleep on the couch, but you'll be more comfortable here."

"Want you to get some proper sleep."

"What makes you think I can't do that with you in the bed?" The truth was she didn't know how much sleep she would get with him being in the same room let alone the same bed.

"I'll be okay on the couch," he muttered and sat up. She rolled away from him, only now noticing the dark circles around his eyes as he turned to her.

Leaning forward Gibbs rested his elbows on his knees unable to hide the anguish and sadness that had flashed in his eyes numerous times throughout the day. It hurt Abby to see him in pain and even though it would probably be a mistake, she decided to ask him what had him so troubled. He was good at taking care of her but she wanted to be allowed to look after him in the same way, if he would just let her.

"Something's wrong." It was a statement more than a question and as she watched his jaw clench, she just hoped she wasn't pressuring him. "Gibbs?"

"Just want you to get better, Abbs." He got to his feet and threw the pillow to the end of the couch. Picking up a blanket he spread it out over the cushions before returning to the kitchen to quickly dry off the last of the dishes.

She sat up and watched him trying to keep busy in order to avoid the conversation. "I know you do...but that's not it."

"I'm fine, Abby." He took some clean clothes out of his bag and walked over to her, the lingering kiss he placed on the top of her head not helping to reassure her. "Get some sleep."

Abby watched him turn and head into the bathroom before pulling the covers back on the bed and getting in between the cool sheets. Even though he'd never hold it against her, she had more than likely pushed him too far in trying to help him. Resigned to not bringing it up again she slid further down on the bed and closed her eyes, waiting for his footsteps as he came back into the room.

She didn't open her eyes again when he did, instead listening to his movements as he turned out the lights and lay down on the couch. When she heard him shuffling and trying to get comfortable Abby thought about breaking her silence and asking him again to join her, but in the end decided against it. In a way she was relieved she'd had a nap during the day because falling asleep now with him so close, but not being able to snuggle up next to him was going to be near impossible.

Gibbs woke the next morning as the sun was coming up, the diffused light streaming in through the window and onto his face. After an incredibly restless night, with very little sleep, he felt more tired than when he'd laid down. He'd tossed and turned all night, the scent of Abby still lingering on the pillow and blanket from when she'd used them in the car and her nap in the afternoon. He'd thought about throwing them both onto the floor, hoping it might eradicate the stirrings he was feeling, but in the end he couldn't do it. Even though he was being torn in different directions, Gibbs still yearned for some form of contact with her. Wrapping himself up in a blanket that still had her imprint on it seemed like the closest thing he would get while he slept.

Every muscle in his body groaned when he sat up to look at Abby still sleeping peacefully on the bed. He'd wanted nothing more than to join her last night and fall asleep holding her. And even though he'd never force her into anything, it was becoming more difficult to hold himself in-check where she was concerned. Some time ago he had started to realize that he was falling hard for her. She had never let on that she shared similar feelings for him, so Gibbs had kept his secret to himself. Hoping, but never fully believing, that she might one day care for him the same way.

His lack of sleep as well as the aches that burnt through his back and shoulders from sleeping on the couch would all mean he was he was going to have to fight to keep his grumpiness under control. He didn't want to take anything out on Abby. She was meant to be taking it easy and resting, the last thing she needed was the added stress of him and his current mood swings.

Those fluctuations in his mood had been responsible for him getting so distracted and ending up cutting his finger yesterday. Everything about Abby made his thoughts stray, and it was the visions of her, both real and in his imagination that had caused his concentration to falter. With just one misjudged movement Gibbs had sliced through his finger with the saw.

Seeing her lone figure sitting down on the beach and gazing at her while she was sleeping; these were the times when she couldn't look into his eyes and read his emotions. It was in those secret and unguarded moments that he didn't need to hide his feelings for her. Mentally he punished himself each and every time he took even the slightest bit of joy in watching her, but he still couldn't stop himself.

Constantly he waged an internal battle between what he wanted and what he thought he deserved. He couldn't help but wonder if he was absolved of all his guilt and regrets whether he would be with her right now, curled up next to her in bed and free to love her openly. But if wishes were all he had, then he had nothing, just a series of stolen moments.

Being here alone with her, even for just a day had intensified his feelings for her ten-fold. When she touched him everything else disappeared but the feel of her hands, or her soft body as it wrapped around him. Gibbs had wanted so badly to kiss her yesterday. The look of tenderness he saw in her eyes and her careful deliberations of his injury made his soul cry out to be entwined with hers. In that moment all he cared about was the prospect of finally getting a taste of her. Not a chaste peck on the cheek but a heart stopping, groin stirring heated kiss that would end his torment.

When Tony had called, twice, he wanted to throw both their phones against the wall. Then the moment had been broken and he'd submerged back into his remorse at having nearly given in to what he wanted.

When Abby had been sick with the flu she had stayed with him for over a week and although he loved looking after her and protecting her, it had given him an insight into what things could be like. Gibbs could easily get used to having her stay with him all the time. He'd stayed up at night to watch over, keeping an eye on her temperature and wiping her face with a cool damp cloth if it got too high. He hated her being sick, but looking after her felt like something he was meant to do. Not just for the week, but for the rest of his life.

When she had started to feel better she went back to her apartment and Gibbs went back to living alone in his empty house. He wanted her to stay with him on a more permanent basis, to come home with him at the end of each day and fall asleep next to him every night. But as much as he wanted her, Gibbs was haunted by memories that refused to leave him alone. Burdens that he'd carried for so long that he'd let overwhelm him.

For the first time in his life he found himself wanting to let go, because of Abby. In his rare moments of weakness he found he wanted to trust what he felt for her and let her be his saviour, but that voice in the back of his mind always stopped him from taking that step.

Staying at the cabin with her at a time when he usually retreated deep inside his own suffering and regrets Gibbs found himself questioning his own feelings. The anniversary of Shannon's birthday was just one of several dates that he tried to ignore but had never really succeeded in fully getting over. She had once been the most important part of his life, and it was that sense of loyalty and loss that left him torn when it came to Abby. He wanted to take a chance with her, to be happy, but being happy was something he wasn't sure he deserved. Gibbs wanted to let go of the pain but he'd held onto it for so long that he didn't know how.

Standing up slowly to let his muscles adjust he instinctively walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge. Abby was facing him, her beautiful features serene in sleep and her body curled around one of the pillows he'd brought. Her dark hair hung loosely around her face, tendrils of ebony highlighting her pale skin and full lips. Gibbs reached out, willing his hands to remain steady as he touched some of the silky curls between his fingertips.

When he'd watched over her while she had been sick, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her high cheekbones, petite nose and those smooth lips. His body and heart cried out for her but his mind repeated to him over and over again that he didn't deserve her. And without knowing how Abby really felt, it was a big risk to take, her rejection was another loss he didn't think he could cope with.

Abby stirred next to him, her hand stretching out as if she knew he was there, even in sleep. Not wanting her to wake and find him so close Gibbs headed to the bathroom before making some coffee and going outside to watch the sun rise.

TBC...