Chapter 5 - Thoughts and Feelings
Hermione lay in bed a few hours later her mind whirling. What was with Draco? He was being so nice to her recently, and held her when she cried. Why did he care so much? She'd seen the look in his eye, so similar to what Harry's looked like when he looked at Ginny.. full of love. But, Draco couldn't love her, right? He made fun of her for years and called her horrible names from the instant he found out her parentage, that she was muggle-born. Was it the lack of his father and Voldemort's influence that caused him to be so nice? No, he'd been mean before she'd broke down into tears about Ron. So what was it? She couldn't figure it out and fell asleep, Draco on her mind even in her dreams.
Draco, meanwhile, was stretched out on the couch, staring dimly at the ceiling, eyes dull. What was it about her was making him feel like this? He'd hated her not two weeks before and wanting her to fall of the face of the earth or die, get hurt. But, her tears had made him notice that she was beautiful and hugging her had been a reaction, a need to comfort her. The hug and made him notice even more so how lovely she was and he had felt how soft her skin was, like silk. He had no clue how she could so accidentally affect him, causing him to start to like, if not love, the one girl he had hated most in his life, the one girl he could never use his charm to win, because she was un-winnable to him, he'd been to mean to her in the past. He'd just stood there and watched as his aunt tortured her for information she so obviously didn't have. He didn't do one nice thing to her until this year, the offer to help her with Ron, but now he was hoping Ron would never want her back and Draco and Hermione could start dating for real. He was selfish, he wanted her all for himself. He wanted her so much. Suddenly he realized it was getting pretty late and dragged himself to his room and, after changing to his bed, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, dreams he wouldn't remember of him and Hermione buzzing through his head.
Hermione awoke from her dream, a wonderful dream of Draco kissing her... wait wonderful? No, not wonderful.. ok maybe a little bit. Hermione groaned and put her head in her hands, what was going on with her? It was Saturday and Hermione decided she was just going to lie in bed and organize her thoughts and feelings. Feelings... that made her mind automatically think of Ron. Where did her feelings for him lay? She felt anger, betrayal, sadness, and the tiniest twinge of guilt.. not love though. When did her feelings for him evaporate? Was it when Lavender told her about Ron and her? No, it was before that, it was when Draco started being nice to her. God, she was in a bad situation. She would keep up the fake dating act, because Ron DID deserve to be jealous... even if she would never take him back, exspecially not after what Lavender had told her. "Ugh", she said aloud laying back on her bed with a heavy thud, "I'm so in trouble."
Draco had also just woken up from a amazing dream of Hermione and himself, the only difference he wasn't trying to deny the fact it was great. He just regretted the things in his dream would never happen in reality, he had hurt her too badly and his family would kill him if they found out his rapidly growing feelings for Hermione, at least Lucius would. Also, she still loved the idiot Weasel. Even though Ron had hurt her more than Draco ever could. He decided to stay in his room and mull over away to win Hermione over, he just couldn't NOT have her. He always got what he wanted, he was selfish and spoiled like that, and he wanted her, he would get her. He needed to win her over. He would do anything to get her, begging included, maybe.