"Double Time" Sequel to "Stepping Time" (Highly recommend you read Stepping Time before starting this sequel)

The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.

Author's Note (Especially for laurel hardy) Characters guide-Primary SVU Characters Olivia Benson, Alex Cabot Primary Original Female Characters Army Lt. Col. Erin Mathison, Attorney Angie Secondary SVU and L&O Characters Elliot Stabler, Casey Novak, Abbie Carmichael, Serena Southerlyn Secondary Original Characters Jeff Stockton, Amelia Stockton, Dylan Mathison, Petraeus (Erin's Chihuahua), Senator Rushing, TJ McCoy

Thanks for reading and the reviews for the first 13 chapters. Love and appreciate the reviews and it means so much that so many are reading this sequel. Thank you again! And sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up. It took me a long time to write this one.

#-#

"Double Time" Chapter 14

"Thanks again for lunch," Erin smiled.

"Wasn't too much work to order subs and salads from the deli," Angie replied.

"Erin there are brief stories on Specialist Weston on a few of the Nashville media outlets now," Alex said carrying her laptop to the dining room table.

"You know I was telling Liv downstairs that I didn't know how I'd be getting through this without her, but that extends to all of you. I'll never forget the soldiers that died under my command in Iraq," Erin sighed heavily. "But you know this unit was so much smaller, so I got to know all of them and Weston especially well. I'm just really grateful to have the support and friendship of this group."

"Well we were all thinking earlier," Serena started as she and Abbie joined the group at the table, "that if you and Liv are okay with it we will just all meet up in Nashville Thursday night and spend the weekend there."

"Thought that maybe since the six of us were going to be together here over the weekend, we could just all spend time together in Nashville instead," Abbie said softly.

Erin scanned the group around the table, her eyes blinking rapidly as tears threatened to spill. "I…I haven't even checked flight prices yet…but I'm sure…" she stammered.

"We have," Alex smiled, squeezing Erin's hand. "And we also have three rooms on hold at the Renaissance downtown. I guess The Hermitage is the nicest, but they're booked for the holiday."

"You all truly overwhelm and amaze me," Erin said softly, wiping away tears. "Me too," Liv smiled, placing her arm around Erin's back.

"I talked to the casualty assistance officer with Weston's Reserve command back in Tennessee. He said he made the initial notification yesterday afternoon and visited with her family again this morning. I am going to call her parents in a little while. CAO said funeral would probably be Saturday."

"Erin was able to talk to Sergeant Major Jensen back at Camp Phoenix too," Olivia added.

"Well besides representing our little Mobile Public Affairs Detachment at the funeral…I guess I have another purpose in being here as her comrades, not just from our detachment but others that she knew and worked with, are e-mailing me pictures and words of remembrance that I need to print and try to be crafty…which I'm not," Erin chuckled, "to give to her family."

"When are you supposed to get them?" Angie queried.

"I'm sure I already have some in my inbox, but sergeant major was going to pass the word to try and get me most or all by about 10 tomorrow morning our time," Erin replied.

"Good," Angie smiled, "because I am crafty and I don't work tomorrow."

"And I don't have to go in 'til the afternoon and I think we have everything here except for a new photo album or scrapbook," Alex added.

#-#

Tuesday Morning

"So did the cap give you the okay on leaving early Thursday?" Elliot asked Olivia as she returned to her desk.

"Yep and Munch will cover if anything comes up Thursday evening or Friday," Olivia smiled and then sighed softly.

"What? I'd thought that was what was stressing you out…waiting for the captain to get in so you could get your answer," Elliot shrugged.

"No," Olivia shook her head. "Fuck, I'm sorry El. I am grateful for that. I'm just wishing I could be with Erin this whole week, especially with Weston's death now too."

"I understand, but I'm sure with Alex and Angie helping her with that memorial album…And you know it's almost lunch so hopefully we won't catch a new case and you can go over there then," Elliot said.

"Benson, Stabler," came the familiar call from Cragen.

#-#

"You doing okay Erin?" Alex asked softly as she, Erin and Angie sat around the dining room table among scattered pictures and notes.

"I am. On the one hand I can't imagine having chosen another career. I mean even after I retire I'll always be a soldier. It is simply part of who I am. But you know when I was commissioned it was a couple years before Operation Desert Shield and Desert Storm," Erin said.

"And a relatively long time after Vietnam," Angie commented. "Were you deployed to the first Gulf War?"

"No, first deployment to a combat zone was Somalia in 93, then Afghanistan in 2003 and Iraq in 2007. Maybe this sounds a bit crazy, because you know if you join the Army…well it is the Army. I guess though when I was in college I didn't…I don't know," Erin sighed picking up some of the pictures off the table. "I was young like most of these troops in the pictures. I guess I had an idealistic view of the military and if we went to war it would be clear, even with Vietnam or possibly because of Vietnam, who the bad guys were and what the mission was."

"It is different," Angie sighed, "but Alex and I have talked similarly about law and our view of it when we were in law school. I started out in a prosecutor's office and I thought it would be crystal clear, wrong, right, good, bad, and it's just not. I had to get into private practice for a while. I had to get away from criminal law period for a while. But you know now I had to get back to it, not with the same idealistic ambitions I had 20 years ago, but just doing the right thing and hopefully in the process helping the victims and giving a few others hope."

"I definitely felt it would be like what Angie said too," Alex added. "And I don't know…and it really is in many ways almost impossible to know, but I don't know if I wouldn't have been shot and sent into witness protection, if I could have just stayed straight through in SVU."

"Why did you want to go back Alex?" Erin queried.

"I never thought I'd be a victim, and then once I was I stayed one for too long," Alex said. "Now I'm a healing survivor. I finally accepted what happened to me, I still don't like it, but I accepted it. So maybe beyond the books I've read and studied the degrees I have earned and all of that stuff that I thought made me a good prosecutor, maybe I am or can be a better prosecutor now, especially for the victims."

"I had a career map of dream assignments, commands that I thought would earn me stars on my shoulders," Erin sighed. "Then I lost four troops in Iraq and then Sheila was killed and that career path became so insignificant."

"Erin the path isn't insignificant it's just different than from what you expected it to be, as well as your reasons for continuing to walk it, but I and many others are thankful that you do," Angie stated. "And I'm grateful for what Alex does and Liv and Abbie and Serena and so many good people. There will never be an end where we can say the good prevailed, and it is all over, but if we and others don't keep trying to do the good, the bad could ultimately prevail."

"I hope I can use that or write something similar to what you just said," Erin smiled, "because Cassie's parents called the CAO this morning and then he called me. I guess after I talked to them last night they decided they would like me to speak at her service."

"You obviously already brought them some comfort with what you said to them on the phone," Alex said.

"I had a few notes before I called," Erin chuckled uncomfortably, "but I don't even remember half of what I said to them. Hell, I think they helped me more than I helped them."

"Erin why didn't you tell us that they asked you earlier?" Angie questioned.

"Besides that you two have already done so much to help me," Erin smirked. "I don't know. I guess I'm just…I hand-picked their daughter for this unit and she saved my life and about two weeks later I'm speaking at her funeral. I have to do this right and I can't make much sense of anything right now."

"Erin I am confident they aren't expecting you to make it make sense to them either," Alex replied. "We're making this album because so many wanted to share how she touched their lives. So many people that her family will probably never know personally, but will still bring them comfort. You're bringing that message to her family and friends, who only knew of her life as a soldier, from those who served with her."

"Along with the part of me that feels guilty," Erin shook her head, "there's a part of me that feels unworthy. She didn't flinch on any mission she went out on and was disappointed, actually angry, when for a week before we went out on that two-week stint I pulled her from any missions and kept her inside Phoenix. I would sit in my quarters some nights and wonder what the hell we were doing here. Is there a way to win, or will we be sending today's fourth graders over in ten or eleven years doing the same thing? Is it worth it? But still I always had to try and make soldiers feel like they were not only accomplishing their missions, but making a difference."

"You were doing your job Erin. You still follow orders whether you are a colonel or a lieutenant, but by the time you get to where you are at, you not only have a lot more experience but also a lot more information to guide your decisions and to see the bigger picture, even if you don't have the ability to change it," Angie surmised.

"Tell me why you pondered the mission and why we're there?" Alex questioned.

"Because I know the cost and it is too real," Erin sighed heavily.

"And that is why you are a great leader and commander, Colonel Mathison," Alex said firmly.

"I…I fuckin' froze out there where Weston saved my life and possibly others'," Erin cried, as she pounded the table with her fist. "I had killed twice earlier that day…and I never had to do that before," Erin stammered as Angie rubbed her hand up and down her back. "The first one…and they happened seconds apart…I…I…"

"It is okay Erin," Alex said softly. "Let it out."

"I'm not sure…I'm not sure he was armed. It was chaos and he popped out from the side of this building where we had just taken fire…and I killed him…but I can still hear his screams and see his face and I'll never know if I killed a young man who wanted to kill me, us…And so later than I wanted to make sure before I squeezed that trigger again…and I almost got myself and others killed with my hesitation."

"But it didn't happen Erin," Alex retorted.

"I didn't see his weapon 'til after he fell from Weston' shots. I had just seen his eyes, his face, but I think I was actually seeing the face of the guy I had killed earlier," Erin murmured.

Angie slid her chair closer to Erin and squeezed her hand.

"Erin," Angie said softly. "I killed a man seven years ago. A young man who had actually interned for me for a semester a few years before that."

Erin lifted her head and turned her tear-filled eyes towards Angie. "Oh my, I am so sorry," she muttered. "What…"

"It's a long story, and I've only shared with a select few. But he was diagnosed with schizophrenia when he was 22. And it got worse over the next two years and he became obsessed with me," Angie sighed.

"And he stalked her and harassed her, despite protection orders and Angie moving three times. He would never do enough to cross the line where they could put him away," Alex said.

"Until one night he kicked in the door to my apartment and he had a knife and he came after me, but I had my gun. Everything happened so fast, yet in that split second before I squeezed the trigger I had so many thoughts race through my mind, so many images seemingly flash before my eyes."

"Jesus Angie," Erin exclaimed, leaning over and pulling Angie into an embrace. "I am so sorry you had to go through that. All of it…before, when it happened and after."

"Thank you," Angie said sincerely. "But I did make it through it. I grieved for his family and friends. And I grieved that he was sick and chose not to take his medications or the help offered to him. But I don't grieve his death, because in that brief moment his actions made the decision for me."

"Erin you've been to hell and back and then some, but thankfully you're here and you're supposed to be. Don't let things you cannot change, things that have already happened deny you your happiness, your future, because than you are denying others of you and all you have to offer," Alex said almost pleadingly and then smirked. She stood behind Erin and Angie, putting an arm around both. "A very wise woman whom I am incredibly in love with gave me that advice on a beach in California about six months ago."

"It is pretty solid advice," Angie smirked, "but I really just wanted to get into your pants."

"Did it work?" Erin laughed.

"She was so already there, but she made me wait until we were on that safari," Alex chuckled.

"Made up for all the waiting there though babe," Angie smiled, kissing Alex on the cheek.

"Did you two actually see any animals on that safari?" Erin laughed.

"Oh you never did see all the pictures did you?" Alex said excitedly.

"Baby you have to go to work," Angie snickered glancing at the clock.

"I do want to see them though," Erin replied.

"No, you don't," Alex laughed, playfully slapping Erin on the back of the head.

"Ok maybe not all 1,000 or so pictures, but definitely the elephants and rhinos," Erin grinned.

"Hey," Liv called walking into the apartment and removing her key from the lock. "I did knock lightly."

"I guess we were caught up in our conversation," Angie replied.

Erin stood up and wrapped Olivia in her arms, kissing her deeply. "Thank you," Erin said, as she broke the kiss.

"You're welcome," Olivia grinned. "But for what?"

"Many things, but at this particular moment for being you and bringing such wonderful people into my life," Erin smiled, looking towards Alex and Angie.