A/N:
It has been a very long time since I have gotten to this fic. That was when I realized that I have pretty much finished it long ago. . The only thing is that it has not been finished with a beta. So I am sorry for any errors that you may find. I just find myself not having enough time to contact my old beta again or the time to do that much work on it. I will fix things when I find them. I am sorry that it has taken so long, I know there are a few of you who have wanted to see this through to the end, thank you for you patience and support. Enjoy the latest chapters and R&R if you like. Just please, remember from this point on is without a beta!

BTW, I don't know about you, but if I was Garrus, I would be sick of the Vids by now too. :)

Chapter 8

No More Vids Please

The whole crew was silently watching Jack and Liara talk as though they were two lost friends who had just found each other. Maybe it was both of their unsettling backgrounds that made it easy for them to connect. Still, Jack had not made any real close friends on the Normandy. She kept them all at arms length even though she had softened up over the past year. None of the other crew members had been able to get her to sit and talk for more than ten minutes without an outburst or cruel remark of sorts.

Garrus had snuggled in close next to Jane at a table and poked at his food as he watched in amazement with the rest of the crew. Jane finished rather quickly and kissed him on his mandible before heading toward the elevator. She said she was going to check in with Mordin, then have a talk with Joker about where they should head to next. Garrus nuzzled her cheek softly and returned to mindlessly poking at his diner.

"Garrus?" He dropped is utensil at the sound of his name.

"Oh, yes Dr. Chakwas?" The doctor was standing next to the table watching him carefully.

"Hmm…" She mused for a moment, watching the commotion that had everyone else's attention. "When you have a moment, I'd like to talk to you in my office."

Garrus nodded his head and swallowed that last few bites and stood up to follow her into the medical bay. "I am free now, if that is ok."

Dr. Chakwas lead him into the room and offered him a seat as she set herself down in her own chair. She sat quietly for a moment before tapping a console.

"Garrus, if this was a normal situation, you would more than likely already know what you have gotten yourself into. Since it isn't I'm afraid that I have the unfortunate obligation to educate you in human reproduction."

She continued to tap on the screen, ignoring the horrified look on Garrus's face. Oh no, she is going to sit here and explain human sex-ed to me. When he did not say anything to her, she looked up and noticed the expression across his face. The doctor pursed her lips together to keep from laughing.

"You thought… Oh heavens no, Garrus. I may be a physician and while I care for the health and safety of the whole crew, I don't believe that I will have to go as far as to have to personally explain this to you." Garrus let out the breath he had been holding, but relief was only short lived, Dr. Chakwas was still talking. "I have sent you some information pamphlets and a few vids to your terminal." She stopped and placed her hands in her lap, looking very seriously at him. "Now, I want you to watch and read all of them. I know you can sometimes neglect certain research efforts, and while the vids I have sent you are purely educational and not as entertaining as what Mordin could find for you, I expect you to go through them. I'm not going to test you to make sure you did, but as it pertains to Jane's health and your child's, I sure hope you do. If I find out you have neglected to do so, I may have to sit you down and explain it all, or if I'm too busy, I will ask Mordin to help."

Garrus swallowed the lump in his throat. Anything was better than watching Mordin's vids, even more so than having to watch them with the Salarian. He thanked her hastily and rushed for the elevator. The sooner he finished with them, the sooner he could delete them and less likely he would be subjugated to Mordin's torture vids.

Garrus started with the information pamphlets since they seemed to be the safe route before. He was not entirely sure what he would find when he opened them, but it had to be better than what Mordin and sent him. Dr. Chakwas's idea of information was much more clinical than the Salarian's. He started with the one on "Human female fertility cycles". It was almost like he was in school again, studying for a class. It started with when a female is able to become fertile and what to expect. It did not look too bad until, Wait… they bleed for a few days every month? It was strange enough that Human females had a certain fertility cycle, Turian females were always fertile, but they bled when they failed to conceive. The pamphlet went further into detail of the reproductive cycle. He understood now what Dr. Chakwas had asked Jane the day they found out she has pregnant. What frightened him a little was how casually the article explained the side effects of menstruation, the mood swings, temperature sensitivity, and muscle tenderness; Garrus was not looking forward to that once their child was born. It did explain why Human females acted strangely sometimes, most of them at least, Miranda and Jack being very good exceptions, they were strange all the time.

After finishing all the pamphlets, there was two on the pregnancy cycles and one on early infant care. That one made him nervous. Human infants were so small and delicate, so easily breakable, he was afraid he would never be able to hold their child till it was older. Putting that one to the side to question Jane about later he started to watch the vids.

The vids were mostly recaps of the pamphlets but with diagrams and pictures that showed exactly what happened. The acting was still horrible but it added things the pamphlets didn't cover like: The pros and cons of gene therapy in utero, How to deal with her/your mood swings. The reason you're craving strange foods and what not to eat. Lactation and how does it work? It also described that breast tenderness and swelling is expected as the body readied itself to provide for the child. Huh, they actually do have a purpose aside from that Jane enjoys it when I fondle them. Garrus finally was able to understand why human men had a slight fascination with them. Maybe it's built into their subconscious that the larger they are, the more they would be able to provide for their possible offspring.

On the whole, the vids from Dr. Chakwas were rather tame and informative, nothing to extreme, then he got to the birthing process. Garrus really could not fathom how the human race had reached the population size it had. Birthing not only was messy but look horribly painful, and the things that could go wrong!

Garrus was a hardened soldier, he had seen bodies in all states of dismemberment on the battle field, he had even eviscerated a few in hand to hand himself, but the thought of Dr. Chakwas, or even Mordin, slicing Jane open like the woman in the vid having a cesarean terrified him. The natural birth portion was almost worse, how something that large could fit through an opening that small mystified him. Just the fact that the infants head had plates that were not connected and allowed it to be squished through was…disturbing.

Thankfully the video didn't actually show a live natural birth but the pictures were enough to unease him. He erased the vids as soon as it was done and numbly walked over to the couch and just sat there. He was not sure how long he sat there, but the next thing he knew was the doors hissed open and Jane walked in.

"Garrus?" Jane cocked her head to the side. "God, what happened to you? You look like you've seen a ghost. Are you sick?"

Garrus shook his head. Even if he saw a spirit he would not be afraid of it, Turians believed they existed; human analogies were sometimes very confusing. He swallowed and somehow found his voice.

"No, Dr. Chakwas sent me some… information vids… on human reproduction."

Slowly Jane's expression went from confused to sympathetic. "Oh Garrus, you didn't watch the actual birthing process alone did you?"

"I thought… I… yes?" He did not know that he was supposed to watch it with her.

Jane sighed and sat next to him, taking his hands into her own. "You know, normally a husband and wife go through prenatal classes and watch those vids together. I am sure Dr. Chakwas sent you more than just that to help educate you so you would know what to expect, but you didn't have to do it alone."

Garrus buried his face into her hair and let her caress his fringe to sooth his coldness. "Does… it hurt? It looks like it is painful."

Jane considered how to answer him. "Well, this will be my first, but I have heard that it is the most painful thing a human can go through."

Garrus pulled his face away in shock. "Then why go through it?"

Jane laughed. "Aside from the fact that it is the only way we can reproduce, we do it for love."

Jane smiled at him as he thought about that. "Yeah, love. I guess that would make sense."

"Besides, I'm not sure anything can compare to my marking, giving birth will probably be a breeze for me." She grinned mischievously at him causing color to return to his carapace and his eyes brightened a little.