A/N:
Sorry about this, I just realized that I posted the chapters out of order. This is Chapter 9, not Sacrifice. Sorry for anyone who is confused.

Chapter 9

The Little Things

Jane exited the elevator only to come face to face with Kelly. Yeoman was shifting her weight in a nervous fashion and almost started when Jane appeared in front of her.

"Oh, Commander." Kelly tried to straiten her composure into a more formal pose.

"Kelly, is there something wrong?" Jane eyed the young, but very plain woman.

"I hope not. I was on my way to find you I was hoping to have a few words with you in private."

Jane nodded her head and indicated for the empath to precede her. Making their way to the conference room Jane waited for the door to shut securely before turning to her personal assistant.

"What can I do for you, Kelly?"

"Actually, I was going to see if there was anything I can do for you." Jane made a small sound of confusion. "You have been acting… different… ever since you found out about your pregnancy."

Jane gave Kelly a long considering look. "I'm not sure what I feel." Kelly did not say anything just sat there impassively waiting for Jane to continue. "I feel violated, used. Someone practically raped my body for some sort of sick terrorist experiment." Jane began to pace as she built up steam embracing her anger. "We don't even know what their true goal is; we can only speculate how they want to use this. This could not even be truly what they were after just a side affect." Jane curled her hands into fists, her nails biting into the palms of her hands.

"I hate not knowing what's going on with my own body. I resent that someone did this to me. They took something that would have been, should have been, a cause for happiness and cast this horrible shadow over it. Garrus and I should not have been able to conceive. I had accepted that, maybe in few years we would have adopted but now... " Jane trailed off seemingly lost her face a picture of grief.

Kelly gently reached out and uncurled one of her commander's fists gently smoothing over the indentions in her palm and leading her to sit down. "I can not tell you I understand because it has not happened to me but Commander you are looking at this completely in the negative. Whether this is what they meant to happen or not it really is an amazing advancement in medical technology. Think of what this could mean for other mixed couple out there that are not Asari. I mean, think of what this could mean for Tali's people specifically. If it could be adapted they would be able to breed outside the flotilla, maybe they would be able to strengthen their immune systems and be able to someday not have to wear biosuites."

"If we actually had the data, maybe. I can see where you are coming from Kelly, really, it just was still a wrong way to use it. Cerberus, Binary Helix, or whoever wants to use this technology only on humans so that all life will one day be human only. The only other species that would match us would be the Asari, and they outlive us ten times over so this whole scheme seems mad. We don't even know if it can be modified for other species it is just so dangerous."

"Yes I know. But that doesn't mean we have to destroy the data once we acquire it." Jane was surprised that Kelly had such a strong heart to stand up to her commanding officer.

"Kelly." The Yeoman almost looked at her defiantly. "I never said I was going to do that. I haven't decided yet; but you are correct, the medical advancements we could learn from the raw data would be extremely valuable."

Kelly smiled a little sheepishly at that. "Ah, yes. Well, it really wasn't my intention to seek you out to talk specifically about that. I am still worried about you. I don't want you to take out all this unpleasantness on the baby."

Jane looked a little startled. "I'm not doing that, am I?"

Kelly gave her a measuring look before shaking her head. "No, not currently, but you are carrying a large amount of resentment over this and no matter how this happened a baby is something to celebrate."

Jane gazed at her still flat abdomen a laid a hand lightly over it. "It was just so unexpected."

"Aren't most children conceived unexpectedly?"

"Yes but…" Kelly cut her off.

"Aren't you happy to be having a child with Garrus, the love of your life?"

"Of course, but…"

"Then why are you hesitant to embrace this pregnancy?"

"Because it happened without my consent!" Jane started to cry, her limbs shaking as Kelly pulled her into her arms. It all came back to that. Rape, Cerberus had taken something precious from her for their-own sick pleasure and Jane cried for that lost part of her soul.

Slowly she quieted down and Kelly held her at arms length. "Better?" Jane nodded and sniffled in response.

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok, that is what I am here for Commander."

Kelly gave Jane a handkerchief and she gratefully wiped at her face. "God, I must seem the most ungrateful bitch in space. I'm just so…"

"And that's understandable; we are all just as upset."

Jane hugged the young woman tightly. "Thank you, Kelly. It has given me a lot to think about. In the meantime I think Mordin is wondering if we got trapped in the conference room so I better get to my check-up before he starts looking for me."

Kelly smiled at her warmly. "I'm here if you ever need to talk more."

A trip to the Citadel was something they all needed. There were certain supplies you could only get on the Citadel and it was a good place for Liara to start investigating for any information on Cerberus and Binary Helix. It also gave the crew and Jane some time for personal affairs.

Kelly had given her a lot to think about. She was still torn between those two feelings, but she no longer questioned her happiness for the child growing inside her. She loved Garrus. When she had gone trough the Clan Rites and Marking she had shown her full affection toward him. This child was just a physical manifestation of that love.

Jane giggled to herself; she couldn't believe that Garrus had watched those vids on his own. She did promise him that if he had to watch anymore vids that she would watch them with him. Of course Jane had already gone trough human reproduction in school, but it just seemed wrong to make Garrus go through that all by himself. She could not help but burst out in laughter as she remembered the look on his face after he had watched the birthing video.

The crewmembers in the mess area gave her weird looks from her sudden outburst as she set down the data pad that contained a half written, and very choppy, letter to her parents. Garrus was even preparing one for his father as well. She was going to have to have Legion send the messages with modified Geth encryptions so that it would be more difficult for someone to intercept and decode. The messages needed the utmost secrecy; it was not something that needed to be leaked out right now. She let out a heavy sigh of content and continued on with her letter. The sooner she finished it, the better she would feel.

Jacob was fidgeting with the weapon parts as Jane entered the armory. He jumped to attention and saluted her when he heard the hiss of the door.

"Commander." He said in a very formal voice.

"Kelly told me you wished to speak with me." Jane was still a little agitated at Miranda and Jacob, but they were still a part of her crew.

"Yes. I never got to really tell you how both Miranda and I are very sorry about the predicament you are in. Honestly, neither of us really knew exactly what they were doing to you."

"Yeah, I know, Jacob. Miranda has already said that." Jane crossed her arms and stared blankly at him.

"But, you still don't trust us." It was a statement, not a question. At least I was able to make it obvious. "I understand why you don't. If I was you, I wouldn't either. If there is anything I can do, please tell me."

Jane sighed; there was not much they could do to win her trust again, except time. "I guess if the two of you really want to contribute something, I want a detailed report of the two years that you two were part of Project Lazarus."

"The whole two years?" There was a hint of slight shock in Jacobs's voice.

"Yes, everything that may seem even of the slightest bit of importance while you were with Cerberus, I don't expect you to remember everything, but I want to know all that you remember, no matter how insignificant."

Jacob gulped visibly, but still managed to keep his trained stance. "Yes, ma'am." He saluted her again. "Oh and, uh, do you think it would be possible if I could have some leave on the Citadel? There is something I'd like to attend to."

Jane's gaze turned a little cold. "One of the crew will escort you. You are not to leave his sight at any time." Jacob's face looked a little sad. "But I will give your escort the use of his own discretion on whether or not to tell me what you do. I assure you…any suspicious behavior will be reported."

"Ah, yes of course. Thank you, Commander." Jacob understood the silent dismissal as she turned to leave the armory and turned back to the weapons table.