A/N: Wow, 20th chapter, done in nearly a day. Woo :D Hope you enjoy it, as they say, the shitith is aboutith to hitith the fan-ith lol (: I am pleased with this chapter, though I did finish about ¾ of it this afternoon, so apologies for any mistakes. I wanted to get it to you asap after the last cliffy, hehe.

Thank you so much SasoLOVE111, Mythical Words, SpadesAndClubs, 'Lil Obsessed, kikikiki, gothic-hands, NeedCoffeeINeedItOrI'llExpload, Puckabrina Alee, Happy2BeeMe and Ravenclaw Slytherin for the gorgeous reviews! Keep it up, I love hearing what you think!

Enjoy!

. : Chapter 20: Broken : .

He froze. Went so still I thought it almost had to have hurt.

"What makes you think that?" He asked after a moment of complete silence. Even the forest had gone eerily quiet. His voice was guarded, cautious and strained. So different from what I had gotten used to hearing. It felt strange, hearing him this way.

But it was all I needed to know.

"You are." I whispered. "Oh god, you all are…everyone, Sam, Embry, Paul, Quil, Seth…oh god, Seth. My Seth. Oh god. It's impossible, it can't be. Leah…"

Lies. The voice in my head whispered. All lies.

"Evie, please, calm down and let me explain." Jake was saying-begging. "Breathe, Eva! Damnit, your going white!" He was in front of me in seconds, big, hot hands curling around my upper arms like vices and giving me a quick, rough shake back to reality.

I inhaled sharply. The air I had relished only hours before now burned my lungs like a poison. Staring wide-eyed up at him, this boy-man- who had tormented me so over the last few days, I couldn't blink, couldn't comprehend. I wanted to move, to get out of his grip, but I couldn't. So I stayed.

"How?" It was all I could ask. "Why?" I didn't even recognise my own voice, could barely hear it over the buzzing in my ears.

How? Why?

He gave a long-suffering sigh. One that made me become a little more myself. He knew nothing of suffering.

"It's complicated."

"Don't tell me it's fucking complicated, Jacob! Just don't! Don't you dare use that excuse! Un-complicate it, and explain to me, what the fuck is going on!" I snarled, anger now burning in my soul. How could they not have told me about this? I brought my godson here!

He just looked at me for a long moment, then he let me go and stepped back, much to my surprise. I thought once he put his hands on me, he'd never let me go.

I mentally smacked myself for that thought. I'd have made him let go. I would.

He gestured with one hand back to the log. "Maybe you should sit."

"I'm fine where I am." I snapped icily. "Stop. Stalling. Black."

"Do you want to tell me how you found out?" He asked again, taking a seat himself.

I noted that he was trying not to pressure me. He was watching every move I made with an attentiveness that my unit could've been proud of, had I not been so bloody pissed not to care.

I held up the journal stiffly. "Tuari Uley. Younger brother to Levi Uley, my great-uncle and fourth member of Ephraim Black's...whatever you call yourselves. He kept a journal, apparently. My father left it to me."

He frowned. "I never knew there was a journal. The Protectors are a secret, Evie. Our story is only in the legends, and no one, except certain tribe members, believes them."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Yes, I know that, thank you, dumbass. Tell me what I don't know."

"…There's a gene in the tribe…"

"Know that. Next."

"…It's dormant until there is a presence of the Cold Ones, Vampires. Then those with the gene start phasing-changing into werewolves-to protect our people. We kill the Cold Ones, it's what we're for, why we exist. That's about it."

I stared at him. "That's it? You're a fucking giant slobbering dog, and you can sum in all up in three sentences?"

"You seem to know the rest." He offered lamely. "That book can probably explain it better then me, I'm not good with…"

I snorted as he trailed off. "Obviously. How could you fucking do this to me? I've got Ben with me for god's sake!"

"We won't hurt him." He bristled, then looked my straight in the eye, his gaze so honest and open. "I'll never hurt you. I never could."

"Don't start this shit with me, Black! I thought it would've gotten through your thick skull by now…I can't…" I threw my hands up in frustration and ran the empty one through my loose hair. It caught in a couple of knots and pulled. I winced, but welcomed the insignificant pain. Something else to concentrate on.

"Why not?" He growled suddenly, leaping to his feet. "Why not, Eva? What's got you so scared, huh? I know you feel something for me, I know you do!"

I gawked at him, his clenched fists, his quick breaths. "Are you a mind reader now, too? I don't feel anything for you, Jacob….Is that what the shaking is? Is that to do with the werewolf?"

Whatever it was, it was seriously starting to freak me out one way or another.

Jacob took a deep breath in through his nose-closed his eyes and held it for a moment, then exhaled out through his mouth. The shaking that had turned his form to an-almost blur subsided, with it, he also uncurled his fists.

"Yes." He said after a moment, blinking his melted-chocolate eyes open to fix on me. I couldn't decipher the emotions in them, there were so many… "Our phasing, in the beginning, is because we get angry. Really angry. It takes a little bit to gain control of our tempers…even then…" He trailed off and dropped his eyes. "I will never hurt you, Evie. I promise you that."

I watched him, wary for the first time since I'd made the unbelievable discovery.

"I was so close to hurting Ma….so close….All I saw was red… I couldn't stop."

"But you can't." I whispered, my eyes never leaving him. "You can't promise me that, can you?"

It wasn't really a question.

For some reason, that hurt.

He still didn't look at me.

I ran.

oOo

I took off through the trees, not entirely sure if I was going in the right direction, but just going.

I couldn't stand there any longer. Couldn't watch him a second more.

It hurt me! The lies, the secrets, from these people! The tiny sliver of my life that was supposed to be clean of corruption and lies…wasn't. It was hurting more then I would ever admit. And standing there, listening-seeing- Jacob admit it…was like being pushed under water and held there, until your lungs screamed at you and everything started to fade…

I gasped in a breath and choked on it.

Coughing, I pressed a hand against the nearest tree and leant against it. When the spots cleared from my vision, I looked up and around. My eyes settled on the bright, little house that, until now, I'd become so comfortable in.

The pain rippling through me, morphed in that instance, turned into a burning anger that licked hungrily at my insides. Begging to get free.

Narrowing my eyes on the house, I straightened and calmly-too calmly-headed towards it.

oOo

With the anger still boiling within me, I used the extra strength it gave me without consideration. When I'm pissed, you get the hell out of my way. Simple as that.

I kicked the front door so hard, the bang echoed in my ears and the door knob left a hole in the wall where it collided with it.

Whoops.

All movement past the broken barrier stopped dead, and all the eyes snapped like lightening to me.

The boys had all shot to their feet, anticipating a stranger, their hulking forms tense and ready for a fight. Sam, Jared, Vincent and Paul had positioned themselves in front of their partners. Tasha and Rachel were gripping each other's hands so tightly in their shock that I could see the whites of their knuckles even from where I stood.

They all relaxed, realising it was just me, but soon tensed again as they realised the mood I was in.

As soon as Sam went to open his mouth, I beat him to it.

"Werewolves?" I spat the word, and it fired off my tongue like ice.

Eyes widened in surprise, then dropped to the floor. Even the girls, my best friend and my sister, looked away.

"So it really is true. Eighteen years, eighteen, all that time and not once did someone think to tell me? Huh?"

"They haven't always known, Evie. And you weren't here when we first started phasing." Sam reasoned, quietly. He'd raised his gaze from the oh-so-interesting floor, but he still didn't look me in the eyes.

Coward.

"Maybe not. But you knew all along that it was possible, didn't you?" I snapped sharply at him, unforgiving. Then I looked to Tasha. "And so did you. What? Am I not worthy of our family secrets, sister? Our great-grandfather and uncle, were werewolves, and you didn't think I deserved to know?"

"How did you know about them?" She asked, avoiding my murderous gaze and my questions.

I dropped the secret journal onto the table with an easily audible 'smack', realising that if it weren't for this hundred-or-so year old book, I probably would've never known.

"It was a gift to me, from Daddy." Reluctantly, I drew my hand away from the smooth leather, leaving it there. "It's very informative. Werewolves, genes, vampires…So you're all werewolves. Even you." I looked to Leah imploringly, but even she wouldn't meet my gaze. "I told you everything! I'm more honest with you then I am with my own flesh and blood! But you couldn't tell me this?"

Old wounds left by the agonizing lashes of betrayal started to bleed all over again, and new ones opened up beside them. If you could die from betrayal, I would've, a hundred times over. Didn't she trust me? My best friend?

It hurt like a bitch, and left a bitter taste in my mouth.

"It wasn't like that, Evie!" She protested, finally looking at me. There was pain and sadness in her eyes. Regret, fear. "I wanted to tell you, honestly I tried, but we physically can't disobey our Alpha's orders. And he ordered us not to tell anyone our secret. And that included you." She muttered, shooting Sam a glare that could've melted him.

It was the last piece I needed to understand that little dilemma. "So you are the…Alpha, then, are you?" I glared at him, too. Typical it being his fault. Whatever bridges we had built, all came crashing down around us.

And from the look in his eyes, he knew it, too.

He sighed. "I didn't want to hurt you, Eva. You don't understand."

"No, I don't. But then, how the hell could I, Samuel?" I demanded viciously. "People can't understand something they've never been told about! I had a right to know, damn you!"

"If you had stayed a bit longer…"

I whirled around at his voice.

He stood in the slightly-worse-for-wear door way, bare chest gleaming, rising and falling with each deep breath he took. I couldn't help notice the slight sheen his tanned skin had, and the dampness of his hair.

A glance out the window revealed it to be showering lightly. Fucking dumbass weather. Cursed place. Never should have come back. Never.

"You might have understood a little more by now." He finished.

I looked back at him in time to see a droplet fall off a strand of black-as-night hair and land with a splash I almost heard on his chest.

"You didn't have a whole fucking lot to say." I muttered, slightly distracted as that drop ran down the planes of his muscled stomach and abdomen. I mentally slapped myself, several times, when it reached the line of his cut-offs.

The fuck, Eva? Just…What. The. Fuck?

"I think I can tell you a bit more." He took a hesitant step inside and reached out to me slowly, as if I were a wild animal he didn't want to spook.

I shrank away, feeling that last moment of wariness creep back. "You can talk without touching me. Stop trying to touch me, damn you!"

He face, which wasn't very happy to begin with mind you, fell that much further with my rejection. There must have been something else in my voice this time. Something that must have finally gotten through to him.

He dropped his hand.

"So you know our job is to protect our people and the reservation from the Cold Ones, the vampires, and that those with the werewolf gene first phase when there is a vampire presence?" Sam asked, taking control of the situation as Jacob went mute.

I nodded wordlessly, finding it strangely difficult to look away from him, but I did.

They'd lied to me. These people I had trusted. It was happening again. How many would I have to trust and be betrayed by to learn this lesson?

So? The inner voice asked. It's what you've done to them, isn't it?

Shut up!

It wasn't the same, similar, but not the same. Spies are a whole different kettle of fish. That's a single person's choice, to fight for their loved ones and country. Not some old-as-time family secret that could, and would, have ruined my life if it had happened to me.

"Alright," Sam was saying. "What do you know about imprinting?"

Leah sat up stiffly straight, panic flashing across her pretty face. "Sam, don't…"

My cousin, now officially disowned, held up a hand to silence her, never taking his eyes off me.

I shrugged, again feeling cautious. This would turn out to be another bombshell, I could tell by the alarmed looks on all the faces.

"Nothing. I haven't read the whole book, yet."

"Good." Uley nodded. "Jake will explain it to you now."

"Sam, I don't think that's a very good idea…" Black protested in a strangled sounding voice.

He gave him a defeated look. "She might as well know everything, Jake. Tell her." It was an order.

Black winced and looked at him regretfully. "Imprinting is when a werewolf finds his soul mate…"

"Stop!" Leah yelped.

"Quiet!" Sam growled.

She snapped her mouth shut.

Okay, now I'm nervous.

…Where is Ben?

"When you look her in the eyes, that's it. Nothing matters to you like she does. She's everything, your world, your air, your life. A wolf's imprint, is his soul, his reason to live. Emily is Sam's imprint, Georgie's Vinnie's, Rach is Paul's, Claire is Quil's, you're…."

"Stop! Stopstopstopstop!" I slammed my hands over my ears. "I know what you're going to say, and you're wrong! Your wrong….And Claire and Quil? What the fuck? That's sick! Ohmygod, oh god, ohgodohgodohgod. This is so much worse; she's a child for god sakes!"

Distract them, please please please let it distract them!

"There's a bit more to it then that." Sam said, giving Jake a look. "An imprint is a bond-yes, they are soul mates, but the imprinter-if you will-will be whatever the imprint needs them to be. Protector, brother, friend, lover. Quil and Claire's relationship is at the protector/brother stage. It will change as she grows, and when's she's old enough and ready, then it will become more then that. While we're phasing regularly, we won't age. We'll appear the same until we stop phasing. That's why we all look older then we are. We'll wait for our imprints to catch up to us, then we'll stop and start aging again."

"Fucking fountain of bloody youth-and you've got to be a mutant dog." I muttered under my breath, disbelievingly. "Jesus Christ."

"We've also got super senses, strength and speed." Paul added with a smirk that was more hopeful. "In both forms. Which means we heard that." He thought it was a sign I was coming around. He was very much mistaken.

"Where is my godson?" I asked in a slightly monotone.

"Evie, we haven't finished here yet." Sam said with finality.

"Oh, but I have finished here. I'm taking my godson, my things and my dog, and getting the fuck out of here." I snapped icily. "We're done, Samuel."

I turned and made for the stairs, but his voice halted me in my tracks.

"I imprinted on you, Eva." His voice was broken.

He sounded like I felt.

"We're soul mates, please, don't leave. I'm sorry, I am so sorry. I don't know what it is, but I know this-everything-is hurting you and it's killing me! I can't be without you…I love you, Eva. It's messed up, this, but I do, more then anything!"

"I love you, my Eva." His breath tickled my neck as he whispered the words, pressing a kiss to where my neck and shoulder met. He stroked his fingers up and down my bare stomach lovingly. "And I love our child. I hope they have your eyes."

"Adam…"

The tears were already running down my cheeks.

I can't do that, not again.

"I'm sorry, too."

His damn werewolf-enhanced hearing should've picked that up.

I climbed the stairs three at a time. Leaving the tears as they were, not having the strength to brush them away. I was done here, I knew it for certain.

I've been burned to many times.

The betrayal ran to deep to be forgotten.

Too painful to be forgiven.

oOo

Ben was asleep on the bed, and I let him be as I threw our things back into their bags. I clipped Mutt's lead onto his collar and nudged the little fluff ball awake. Doing a final once over of the room, I slipped my favourite handgun into the waist of my jeans, making sure that my hoodie hung well low enough to conceal it.

I did it out of reflex, but it proved it. I didn't trust them anymore. It was broken, and unrepairable. Gone.

Slinging the almighty load over my shoulders, I gently woke BB.

He blinked his beautiful eyes open sleepily, and stared at me a moment until they focused. He sat up and his little face twisted with worry.

"Wha's wrong, Auntie Evie?" He asked, reaching out his small hand to touch my dampened cheek. The gesture damn near broke what was left of my heart.

I smiled the best I could and turned to kiss his fingers. "We've gotta go home, sweetheart. Be a good boy for me, please."

He nodded wordlessly, somehow in his innocence understanding my need to get away. He wobbled to his feet, unsteady on the mattress, and clutching his favourite toy, helped get himself settled in my arms.

The weight was admittedly a fair burden, Maddy packed everything but her kitchen sink, but I took it without blinking and made my way stably back down the stairs.

They were still all there, exactly where they'd been before, and I realised that only a couple of minutes had passed. They watched me, but didn't say anything. Let me pass and did nothing.

I didn't look at him.

I couldn't look at him.

Only when I got to the door, did someone break the cold silence that had settled.

"Call when you get there okay?" Tasha pleaded. "Please be careful, Evie. Please let me know you're safe. Please. You're my sister, no matter what!"

I pressed my lips to the top of Ben's forehead as he leant it into the crook of my neck, for comfort or to hide himself from the obvious awkwardness, I didn't know. I was glad I had him at any rate.

I strode out to my Enzo, each step hitting against the wall of pain I'd been trying so hard for so long to withhold. .

It would be the hardest fight I'd faced yet, to get back on my game. I knew that.

The drizzle hadn't let up, only gotten heavier, so I hurriedly settled Benny and Mutt in the passenger seat before throwing everything else into the back.

I paused at the open driver's door and chanced a look back.

He was standing there, in the rain, getting soaked, watching me.

Tears slipped free as I just stood there a moment.

"I am sorry, Jake. I don't mean to hurt you, but I can't do it again." I murmured, my lips barely moving. It wasn't really meant for him to hear, more for me to just admit. "I believe you."

I shivered in the wind and slipped into the car, started it, and drove away. My past, everything that had been, could have been, going up in smoke.

"I believe you."

I broke.

A/N: Well? The disaster chapter finally arrives! (The first one, anyway ;)) It's dramatic, but it's meant to be very emotional. New chapters will constantly be revealing new things about our Eva, so, hopefully, you'll always be learning something! (:

I'll be away for three days from Sunday afternoon-back to work-so I highly doubt there will be another chapter before next weekend. I have no idea what my schedule is these days, lol.

As always, please review! They are the best motivators I know (:

Love,

~Meg xx